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davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.
OL Schemes are:
Balanced/Pass Blocker/Run Blocker/Big Mauler/Zone Block

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sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World
Name: :supaburn: Burning Hammer :supaburn:
Position:CB
Scheme:Press Run Support
Date of Birth:April Fool's Day, 1973
Hometown:Taebaek, South Korea
College:Asia LIFE University Nebraska-Omaha
Jersey Number:42
Handedness:Left
Height:6'2"
Weight:195 lb

EDIT since I originally picked a school that doesn't exist in Madden. :saddowns:

sean10mm fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Mar 13, 2015

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
Name: NFL GENERIC
Position: WR
Scheme: Route Runner
Date of Birth: March 3 (youngest)
Hometown: Gig Harbor, WA (home of TE greats such as Austin Seferian-Jenkins and Jerramy Stevens)
College: Washington
Jersey Number: 80
Handedness: Right
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 180

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.
A note on colleges, they're hard coded into the game what you can select and the only options are every DI football school and and D2 or D3 school with an active player in the nfl as an alumni.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
This looks like fun! I kind of wanted to make a kicker, but I have a SS as an alternate if you think the kicker is just going to wash out or be boring. Your call! (or use both if you want?)

Name: Swagger Vache
Position: Kicker
Scheme: None listed on the wiki you posted, but power if it is an option
Date of Birth: Youngest possible 12/31/95?
Hometown: Babylon
College: Drake
Jersey Number: 69]
Handedness: Left
Height:6' 9"
Weight: 240

As a more realistic alternate that might actually have an NFL career...

Name: Gymrat Cow
Position: SS
Scheme: Playmaker
Date of Birth: 12/31/95
Hometown: Portland
College: Texas A&M
Jersey Number: 44]
Handedness: Left
Height: 6' 4"
Weight: 230

EDIT

Please give my character dreadlocks so that he will be good. Thank you.

ForbiddenWonder
Feb 15, 2003

I'm submitting another cause I'm an independent bills fan

Name: Foug Dlutie
Position: QB
Scheme: Mobile
Date of Birth: October 15 (youngest)
Hometown: Honolulu, HI
College: Hawaii
Jersey Number: 7
Handedness: Left
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 180

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.
Kickers are Power/Accurate/Clutch

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

davecrazy posted:

Kickers are Power/Accurate/Clutch

Power it is then! I think if my kicker actually makes a team he can float around forever like Hansen or Dawson. If he can't make a team the first season then he is toast and never had a chance. I'm not sure if either of those scenarios sound fun to anyone else. Worth a try or should I stick with Gymrat Cow at SS?`

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Name: Detroit_Dogg
Position: HB
Scheme: Cool and Attractive Power Back
Date of Birth: 08/08/????
Hometown: Detroit
College: Kent State University of Kent
Jersey Number: 44
Handedness: Hooks
Height: 6'2
Weight: 244

GonadTheBallbarian
Jul 23, 2007


Name: Gonad Ballbarian
Position: WR
Scheme: Route Runner
Date of Birth: 04/20/youngest
Hometown: Portland, ME
College: Johns Hopkins (comedy option: Chip Kelly's UNH)
Jersey Number: 14
Handedness: Ambi
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 185

GonadTheBallbarian fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Mar 13, 2015

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious
Name: Big McLargehuge
Position: OLB
Scheme: 3-4 Pass Rusher
Date of Birth: 3/29/Youngest
Hometown: Kirkwood, MO
College: Missouri
Jersey Number: 52
Handedness: Right
Height: 6'3
Weight: 240

the mean lunch lady fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Mar 14, 2015

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

Beat PunchBeef
Big, Brave Brick of Meat
Big McLargeHuge
Blast HardCheese
Blast ThickNeck
Bob Johnson
Bold BigFlank
Bulk VanderHuge
Brick HardMeat
Buck PlankChest
Buff DrinkLots
Buff HardBack
Butch DeadLift
ChunkHead
Chunky
Crud BoneMeal
Crunch ButtSteak
Dirk HardPec
Fist RockBone
Flink
Flint IronStag
Fridge LargeMeat
Gristle McThornBody
Hack BlowFist
Hunk
Lump BeefBroth
Punch RockGroin
Punch Side-Iron
Punt SpeedChunk
Reef BlastBody
Roll Fizzlebeef
Rip SteakFace
Slab BulkHead
Slab SquatThrust
Slam
Slate Fistcrunch
Slate SlabRock
Smash LampJaw
Smoke ManMuscle
Splint ChestHair
Stump BeefKnob
Stump Chunkman
Thick McRunFast
Touch RustRod
Trunk SlamChest
Whip SlagCheek

Just enough for an active game day roster.

Jubs
Jul 11, 2006

Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.
Name: Jubs McLinebacker
Position: Middle Linebacker
Scheme: 3-4 Tackler
Date of Birth: 11-27-1992
Hometown: Congo (or Cameroon)
College: Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania
Jersey Number: 59
Handedness: Right
Height: 250
Weight: 6'3"

Ninurta
Sep 19, 2007
What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

Name: Larry Anders
Position: Halfback
Scheme: One Cut
Date of Birth: 07/16/youngest
Hometown: Tulsa
College: Oklahoma State
Jersey Number: 22
Handedness: Left
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 230

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

I'm borrowing my old GLB guy

Name: Concrete Shadalkowski
Position: Linebacker
Scheme: 4-3
Date of Birth: Feb 29th
Hometown: Attumwa Iowa
College: Yale
Jersey Number: 56
Handedness: Right
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 230

SlipUp
Sep 30, 2006


stayin c o o l
Name: Slip Up
Position: DT
Scheme: Pass Rusher
Date of Birth: Oct 18, youngest
Hometown: Parts Unknown
College: Lane (If availble, The U if not)
Jersey Number: 90
Handedness: Right
Height: 6'2
Weight: 310

SlipUp fucked around with this message at 13:28 on Mar 14, 2015

nrr
Jan 2, 2007

Name: Enn Arr-Arr
Position: WR
Scheme: Deep Threat/Speed
Date of Birth: Sept 26, 97 (or the youngest, idk)
Hometown: idk I'm from fuckin australia...
College: pick somethin stupid
Jersey Number: 21
Handedness: Right
Height: 6'0
Weight: 200


I was the fastest guy in the universe when I was a kid, so extrapolate that out to a 40 time, and then calculate how that works out to a madden speed rating (hint: 100) I found out years after my 100m time in high school would've qualified me for the Olympics (note that qualifying time doesn't mean I would've won poo poo, and still would've been embarrassingly far behind the medals, BUT STILL!) and then I was cool enough to brag to a lady about this fact... Who I then remembered was a loving OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST.

Yes. She laughed at me.

Hard.

Butthead
May 31, 2011
Name: Butt-head
Position: QB
Scheme: West Coast
Date of Birth: 6/9/1994
Hometown: Albuquerque, NM
College: Morehead Sate
Jersey Number: 69
Handedness: Left
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 140lbs

e: If 69 can't be used for a QB, 2 will work. Heh deuce. Numero duo. It means taking a dump hhehhehehehe.

If the height and weight is too small, just make him the bare minimum in height and weight.

Butthead fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Mar 14, 2015

Jen X
Sep 29, 2014

To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.
Name: Patrick "Riots" Drahft-Pik
Position: Free Safety
Scheme: Prototype
Date of Birth: 11/16/1993
Hometown: Cocytus, the 9th Circle Camden, New Jersey
College: Rutgers
Jersey Number: 41
Handedness: Left
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 205

Jen X fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Mar 14, 2015

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
I'm about halfway done entering your players into the roster, just as an update.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon

Dubious posted:

I'm about halfway done entering your players into the roster, just as an update.

Cool. So the first update will be what, the draft?

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Dubious posted:

I'm about halfway done entering your players into the roster, just as an update.

Are you inputting my kicker or my safety?

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

I am excited to see how sexy Sexy Rexy is

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Name: Al Bundy
Position: HB
Scheme: Balanced
Date of Birth: 4/12/1992
Hometown: Chicago, IL
College: Pittsburgh
Jersey Number: 33
Handedness: Right
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 245 lbs

A COMPUTER GUY
Aug 23, 2007

I can't spare this man - he fights.
Name: Vladimir Lenin
Position: HB
Scheme: Power Back
Date of Birth: 6/9/1991
Hometown: Brooklyn, NY
College: Berkeley
Jersey Number: 14
Handedness: Left
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 235

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

A COMPUTER GUY posted:

Name: Vladimir Lenin
Position: HB
Scheme: Power Back
Date of Birth: 6/9/1991
Hometown: Brooklyn, NY
College: Berkeley
Jersey Number: 14
Handedness: Left
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 235

How the gently caress are you going to name a player Lenin and not have him be a West Coast QB who spreads the ball around according to the team needs? :ussr:

Edit

His backup can be a right handed QB with 10 throwing power.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Chichevache posted:

How the gently caress are you going to name a player Lenin and not have him be a West Coast QB who spreads the ball around according to the team needs? :ussr:

Edit

His backup can be a right handed QB with 10 throwing power.

because lenin had his life cut short and the best way to make your life end faster in the nfl is to be a powerback

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Metapod posted:

because lenin had his life cut short and the best way to make your life end faster in the nfl is to be a powerback

Icarus captures that idea a little better.

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008
Name: Jack Thomas
Position: MLB
Scheme: 3-4 tackler
Date of Birth: 1/1/1992
Hometown: Miami
College: Miami
Jersey Number: 13 or 69 or 55
Handedness: right
Height: 5'11
Weight: 245

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
I am inexplicably excited to find out what happens to Lars Umlaut.

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Name: Cam Stevenson
Position: TE
Scheme: Receiving
Date of Birth: July 17 (youngest)
Hometown: Tallahassee, FL
College: Miami
Jersey Number: 87
Handedness: Right
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 255

Epi Lepi
Oct 29, 2009

You can hear the voice
Telling you to Love
It's the voice of MK Ultra
And you're doing what it wants
Name: Desmond Carter
Position: CB
Scheme: Man-to-Man
Date of Birth: June 15 (youngest)
Hometown: NYC or thereabouts
College: SUNY Albany
Jersey Number: 37
Handedness: Right
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 220

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
Alright, I'm about ready to start doing sims for this. I've got all the goons inserted into a roster, and I'm just going through some test seasons to make sure the stats I built up for each player are something that will:

1. Get you involved by your team and not a 4th stringer
2. Not make you a hall of famer in one season.

I have to manually set stats to get your player to your preferred scheme because this piece of poo poo wont let you assign a scheme directly; you have to create players in the mold of the scheme you want.

It's a fine line to balance created player ratings and ensure they develop and grow organically, while getting meaningful snaps so you don't get cut and become a FA until you retire at 26.

For example, Bobby Hill is a 5'8" 325 HB. By creating him with an emphasis on Power Back stats, and not granting him Jamaal Charles like speed given the fact he's a huge fatass, he only averages out to a 74 OVR, and finds trouble getting alot of snaps.

Aiming for an update this weekend, but as of this point I am not accepting anymore goons.

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Hell yes I am so ready for the reign of Sexy Rexy to begin.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Lars Umlaut will not be satisfied until he kills a man on the field.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

IcePhoenix posted:

Hell yes I am so ready for the reign of Sexy Rexy to begin.

I hope he and Bobby hill take the world by storm

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
Bumping this to let you know that I, for one, am still interested in this thread.

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy

Chichevache posted:

Bumping this to let you know that I, for one, am still interested in this thread.

yea, i am too. i'm juggling alot of poo poo right now between commissioning 3 madden leagues, playing MLB, and trying to survive annual reviews at the Zon.

A proper update is coming, i'm still working on fine tuning ratings because I'm encountering about half the goons being monsters and the rest riding the pine. I should apply for Donny Moore's job if I pull off a decent career for most goons.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Honestly I wouldn't worry too much about fine tuning ratings. Most people will kill for a 50% success rate. I don't think anyone here is going to be surprised when one player or another turns out to be a fourth string failure.

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jabro
Mar 25, 2003

July Mock Draft 2014

1st PLACE
RUNNER-UP
got the knowshon


I like the huge variance swings. Being a Trent Richardson is more common then a Beckham, Jr.

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