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Wow, that's really bad and makes me cringe Pile of Kittens posted:Yeah, I had a similar reaction. "Isn't this supposed to be a war-ravaged near-apocalyptic scenario? Who has time for this poo poo?" and I never played Blitzball again. I'm pretty sure at least half the country would still tune in to watch football even if they were being actively devoured by a blood demon. Khanstant has a new favorite as of 09:32 on Mar 19, 2015 |
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Mar 19, 2015 09:26
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Taste the Rainbugh posted:Their was a Xman game for sega where you were fighting mojo and you had to physically reset the game console. Nowhere was this explained and I never actually beat the game. Help I didn't even find this out till I looked it up a few months back. Well, Prof. X tells you to "Reset the computer now!" in a caption. What more do you want? I also never beat the game until the internet existed.
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Mar 19, 2015 10:26
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Pile of Kittens posted:Yeah, I had a similar reaction. "Isn't this supposed to be a war-ravaged near-apocalyptic scenario? Who has time for this poo poo?" and I never played Blitzball again. There's a constant theme through the game of the world simply pretending that bad things don't exist, and the people who cut through the bullshit and admit it are considered the heretics. The church of Yevon makes sure that the people are kept in placid loyalty with with enough armed protection to keep them alive and enough entertainment to not think about the armed protection. I mean, consider that literally everyone in the party other than Tidus knows that summoners die after summoning the Final Aeon, and the reason everyone gives for never having said so is more or less "it was kinder to not think about it". That's pretty much Yevon's entire purpose in the world - let everyone live in that "kinder" state so that no one realizes that the thing that's ravaging the world every so often is the superweapon you committed genocide with so long ago. If the game had come out a little later, I would swear it was a slam against the US post-9/11 - "it is your patriotic duty to consume and be amused and not think about the war until we tell you to be happy about our victories". 
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Mar 19, 2015 12:16
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Kugyou no Tenshi posted:There's a constant theme through the game of the world simply pretending that bad things don't exist, and the people who cut through the bullshit and admit it are considered the heretics. The church of Yevon makes sure that the people are kept in placid loyalty with with enough armed protection to keep them alive and enough entertainment to not think about the armed protection. I mean, consider that literally everyone in the party other than Tidus knows that summoners die after summoning the Final Aeon, and the reason everyone gives for never having said so is more or less "it was kinder to not think about it". That's pretty much Yevon's entire purpose in the world - let everyone live in that "kinder" state so that no one realizes that the thing that's ravaging the world every so often is the superweapon you committed genocide with so long ago.
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Mar 19, 2015 13:31
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FactsAreUseless posted:That's not something people only accused the U.S. of post-9/11. Never said it was, or that I actually thought the criticisms were US-specific. Was just making an observation about how the timing would have been perfect for it to have been had it come out just a few months later.
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Mar 19, 2015 13:47
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My partner is playing Citizens of Earth right now, and I want to encourage anyone who played and enjoyed Earthbound to check it out. It's chock full of references that my partner doesn't get, but I do. Buzz Buzz, Officer Strong and the gauntlet of cops before leaving the first city, and there's a part where your party is shrunk and looks just like the bit in Earthbound when you're in the dinosaur land. I'm waiting for a fuzzy pickles reference, because I can feel it in my bones. The premise is that you play as the Vice President of the World and you uncover a grand conspiracy that you need to resolve. The VP is incredibly naive and the first two members of your party are your little brother and your mom. Your mom scolds enemies and hugs you. They are the first of 40 citizens that can be recruited, and each citizen has some quest or requirement before they join you. All characters, including the VP, start by being named after their profession or position, and can be named whatever once they are recruited or at any time by talking to/recruiting another character. All that was to set up the barista. She's a character in the starting town that kind of sets everything else into motion, and she''s recruitable. The way you recruit her is to give her some Special Blend. Special Blend is an item that a very weak enemy in an isolated dungeon will force you to buy as one of it's actions. By the time the enemy was encountered, the party was strong enough to kill it in one turn. Thus, the dungeon was completed and the item was not gained, and the entrance to the dungeon disappeared. I don't think there's any clue to go back to the dungeon for the item unless you seek it out in a guide. THEN, after that dungeon, the world kind of opens up and the goal is now to go from your Home Town to the Capital. You can explore the rest of the Home Town and the nearby beach, but it's all optional. There's a taxi outside your mom's house that will take you right to the Capital (reminiscent of the Runaway Five's bus trip), and if you follow the quest marker like my partner did, you'll quickly become a criminal and spawn tanks and poo poo throughout the town. The only solution is to take a circuitous route around the "White House" and talk to a guy, go upstairs, get four forms, return to the guy, submit the forms in the right order, fight the guy, then go back upstairs for the chapter boss. It's a slog, and part of the high encounter rate is supposed to be alleviated by the number of characters that can make up your three-person party. Unfortunately, since the game doesn't make recruiting people something that HAS to be done, my partner was going through this mess with her little bro (Hey bra), her mom (Meemaw) and a conspiracy theorist (ALIENSSSSSS). After finishing the chapter she went and recruited maybe 10 or so citizens, since they weren't hard to find, just not on the path the game put you on. To summarize, the trolling comes from having a key item not be a drop from a very weak enemy, but the result of one of the enemy's attacks, and to lure the player into an area only to lock the doors and flood the streets with tanks and secret service. Still a fun game despite the flaws, and I really hope more people give it a shot. There's a demo out.... LawfulWaffle has a new favorite as of 16:41 on Mar 19, 2015 |
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Mar 19, 2015 16:39
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Kugyou no Tenshi posted:There's a constant theme through the game of the world simply pretending that bad things don't exist, and the people who cut through the bullshit and admit it are considered the heretics. The church of Yevon makes sure that the people are kept in placid loyalty with with enough armed protection to keep them alive and enough entertainment to not think about the armed protection. I mean, consider that literally everyone in the party other than Tidus knows that summoners die after summoning the Final Aeon, and the reason everyone gives for never having said so is more or less "it was kinder to not think about it". That's pretty much Yevon's entire purpose in the world - let everyone live in that "kinder" state so that no one realizes that the thing that's ravaging the world every so often is the superweapon you committed genocide with so long ago. Wow, this was the last final fantasy I gave a fair try to and I got maybe halfway or maybe 1% of the way depending on how completionist you are. I didn't get any of that. All I remember about the plot was I think Yuna? Rikki? Some blonde chick had some secret language and you had to unlock individual letters for and then you went from town to town fighting monsters for whatever reason. Beyond that, I remember the main character wore half of several outfits and awkwardly hit on the other girl in the party and then there was blitzball. The only parts of that game I liked were the skill-tree thing they had and Blitzball was fun the one time I knew what I was doing in it. I stopped playing because I got confused about what was going on or where to go and looking it up indicated that I'd have to grind up in some big field before I could beat a thing to advance the story.
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Mar 19, 2015 17:54
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Khanstant posted:Wow, this was the last final fantasy I gave a fair try to and I got maybe halfway or maybe 1% of the way depending on how completionist you are. I didn't get any of that. All I remember about the plot was I think Yuna? Rikki? Some blonde chick had some secret language and you had to unlock individual letters for and then you went from town to town fighting monsters for whatever reason. Beyond that, I remember the main character wore half of several outfits and awkwardly hit on the other girl in the party and then there was blitzball. The only parts of that game I liked were the skill-tree thing they had and Blitzball was fun the one time I knew what I was doing in it. I stopped playing because I got confused about what was going on or where to go and looking it up indicated that I'd have to grind up in some big field before I could beat a thing to advance the story. Almost all of that revelation comes after the most annoying series of boss fights - probably the set you hadn't been through. It's one of those FF13 moments where it's like "there's no loving story in this game" for twenty or more hours and then all of a sudden they hit you with the actual plot. It's one of the series' worst problems, I think - they've done the whole "real plot" thing in just about every game since 7 (I haven't played 12, so I can't speak to that), hiding the bits that would make most players care from minute one behind a slow slog with little variety. And yet, I've owned all of them since 7 (even the Collector's Edition of the unplayed 12). Stockholm all up in this bitch (I am the bitch).
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Mar 19, 2015 17:58
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Kugyou no Tenshi posted:Almost all of that revelation comes after the most annoying series of boss fights - probably the set you hadn't been through. It's one of those FF13 moments where it's like "there's no loving story in this game" for twenty or more hours and then all of a sudden they hit you with the actual plot. It's one of the series' worst problems, I think - they've done the whole "real plot" thing in just about every game since 7 (I haven't played 12, so I can't speak to that), hiding the bits that would make most players care from minute one behind a slow slog with little variety. I'm pretty sure the very first Final Fantasy title had a rush of plot at the end. Like, you spend most of the game trying to restore crystals before finding out that to really solve the problem the party needs to go 2000 years into the past to kill the first boss again. Not quite on the level of FFX's emotional control via religion, but it's there. I'm playing through the HD version on the PSP, and I'm at the part where Yuna decides to marry Seymour. If she knew she was going to die after the final summoning, why is there so much hooplah over the wedding idea. I'm sure I'm missing something, but it sounds like she's interested in the wedding for peaceful political reasons but is still set on completing her pilgrimage and sacrificing herself. I mean, people die and Yuna dances, sure, but the rest of the group seems to be mostly okay with her decision. Are they all crazy? Too much shoopah urine in the drinking water, maybe.
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Mar 19, 2015 18:23
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Pneub posted:Well, Prof. X tells you to "Reset the computer now!" in a caption. What more do you want? I reset the game on two separate occasions and it sent me back to the first stage 
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Mar 19, 2015 19:24
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LawfulWaffle posted:I'm playing through the HD version on the PSP That must run like garbage!
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Mar 19, 2015 21:39
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The White Dragon posted:I reset the game on two separate occasions and it sent me back to the first stage Some versions of the hardware reset differently than others so the exploit that let that work originally is no longer in effect  Kugyou no Tenshi posted:(I haven't played 12, so I can't speak to that) 12 is guilty of it in a fairly trollish way: the first act you play as a pair of street urchins purely because marketing demanded that they have a prettyboy teenage jrpg protagonist they could put on the cover. Once you meet up with Fantasy Han Solo and Fantasy Princess Leia they become the actual main characters for the rest of the game and Vaan and Penelo are just kind of standing around in the background tagging along for no reason.
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Mar 19, 2015 22:02
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Sleeveless posted:Some versions of the hardware reset differently than others so the exploit that let that work originally is no longer in effect And the handheld (Nomad, was it?) didn't have a reset button at all.
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Mar 19, 2015 22:05
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Sleeveless posted:Once you meet up with Fantasy Han Solo and Fantasy Princess Leia they become the actual main characters for the rest of the game and Vaan and Penelo are just kind of standing around in the background tagging along for no reason. This isn't quite true. It's been a while since I played it, but I distinctly remember Vaan being made relevant several times in the late game when he breaks his usual silence to say something stupid in the middle of a cutscene, often about the value of friendship.
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Mar 19, 2015 22:21
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NoEyedSquareGuy posted:This isn't quite true. It's been a while since I played it, but I distinctly remember Vaan being made relevant several times in the late game when he breaks his usual silence to say something stupid in the middle of a cutscene, often about the value of friendship. He has a reasonably important role as Also, if you're going to talk about trolling in FF12 you can't not mention Yiazmat, the optional boss with 50 million hp in a game where most late-game bosses are around the 300,000 mark, and damage is capped at 9999. He's supposedly a reference to the game's dictatorial director who left the project halfway and in financial trouble. Killing him in an hour is considered fast. E: or the teleporter maze dungeon with no map where the room names are descriptions of their position relative to the centre, using the names of geological eras to represent different floors, in bastardised Sanskrit. FF12 is a pretty trollish game really Gato has a new favorite as of 00:26 on Mar 20, 2015 |
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Mar 20, 2015 00:19
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Gato posted:He has a reasonably important role as But at least you can set FF12 to play itself so you don't have to be there for it.
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Mar 20, 2015 00:23
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Doc Morbid posted:But don't worry, you can get another one! One ways to get the spear is to punch yourself in the face a thousand times.
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Mar 20, 2015 00:29
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Gato posted:He has a reasonably important role as Fran is Fantasy Chewbacca and goes everywhere with Balthier, duh. If we're continuing the metaphor Vaan is Fantasy Shirtless Adolescent Jar Jar Binks and Penelo is, I don't know, she really has zero relevance to the plot at any point. I really hope there's an XII HD Remaster.
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Mar 20, 2015 00:31
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Ryoshi posted:Fran is Fantasy Chewbacca and goes everywhere with Balthier, duh. If we're continuing the metaphor Vaan is Fantasy Shirtless Adolescent Jar Jar Binks and Penelo is, I don't know, she really has zero relevance to the plot at any point. Vaan and Basch are both Luke Skywalker. It's just that Basch is all the interesting parts, and Vaan is all the boring ones.
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Mar 20, 2015 01:04
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Rrussom posted:Starbound
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Mar 20, 2015 01:16
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Imfocom really has the upper hand in anything in regards to trolling. You didn't do that unspecified thing during a specific time-frame in the exact manner that we expected without you previously knowing about it? Well bad news for you! Early adventure games were very unforgiving, after the Atari ST in my youth I decided to re-invest in early ports from DOS to Windows in the mid-90's when my family got our first PC. I remember buying Space Quest IV and there was a zombie type character who'd kill you if you stayed in the area for too long. No matter how much you slowed the game down it was very hard to do, everything you had to do without escaping it ends in rampage. If anything, slowing the game down made it harder in some aspects as it made Roger move slower but progression was a little more possible. The biggest dick move was that this zombie type character was present at the very first moment you started the game. No matter how much you move and try to do anything he will be there and gently caress you over unless you know what you are doing. You want to figure out how to solve a puzzle and move past an area? No! Even a slight mistake will end the game barely before you've began to even figure it out! The old try anything on everything is out of the window. As soon as he shows up you need to run the hell out or he'll kill you which is normally a few seconds upon arriving at that location. SQ IV seems to be at the end of the unforgiving adventure game period, but to have a perma-death character right from the start is just a total dick move.
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Mar 20, 2015 01:38
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Rocket Baby Dolls posted:Early adventure games were very unforgiving, after the Atari ST in my youth I decided to re-invest in early ports from DOS to Windows in the mid-90's when my family got our first PC. I remember buying Space Quest IV and there was a zombie type character who'd kill you if you stayed in the area for too long. No matter how much you slowed the game down it was very hard to do, everything you had to do without escaping it ends in rampage. If anything, slowing the game down made it harder in some aspects as it made Roger move slower but progression was a little more possible. IIRC Space Quest IV was notorious for tying the game's timing to the CPU cycles, not the system clock. This meant that if you played it on a computer much faster than one it was originally designed to work on, there were a few spots where it's pretty much impossible to progress because zombies or time cops come and shoot you pretty much straight away before you can do anything. The first time I completed it I had to use a program to slow down my CPU so I could actually progress past the first area. I've mentioned Space Quest before in this thread, and King's Quest has come up as well. Any Sierra adventure game is full of problems like these 
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Mar 20, 2015 04:37
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I think 7th guest had a puzzle where you play against an AI. Faster computers allowed it to make better moves and it's basically impossible to beat on a modern computer.
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Mar 20, 2015 05:06
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Dr_Amazing posted:I think 7th guest had a puzzle where you play against an AI. Faster computers allowed it to make better moves and it's basically impossible to beat on a modern computer. The microscope puzzle. It was basically a hosed up version of Go or Reversi or Othello or whatever against a program that always knows the optimal moves. It was also completely optional. The time I most sufficiently felt trolled by a game was the ending for Super Ghouls and Ghosts where you are sent back to the beginning of the game to find a new weapon that can actually kill the end boss. I spent months on that game as a kid and the day I finally cleared that first playthrough and got sent back to the beginning was thoroughly depressing.
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Mar 20, 2015 08:12
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Jibo posted:The microscope puzzle. It was basically a hosed up version of Go or Reversi or Othello or whatever against a program that always knows the optimal moves. It was also completely optional. Try beating the boss of world 7 with that thing in your underwear. The masterful troll was that the bracelet is enormously powerful in the first few worlds but makes the latter ones ludicrously difficult.
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Mar 20, 2015 08:22
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Not exactly the same but what about M$ giving you like $.80 for your birthday
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Mar 20, 2015 08:33
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Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - Hilltop Zone, Act 2. The god drat springs facing each other like this | ------- | close together. Also pretty much all of Metropolis Zone. edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaeQCwWH_Pc 1:50ish The Mighty Moltres has a new favorite as of 09:22 on Mar 20, 2015 |
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Mar 20, 2015 09:18
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The Endbringer posted:Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - Hilltop Zone, Act 2. There's one of these in the last Classic Sonic level in Generations. It's beautiful.
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Mar 20, 2015 09:29
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Speaking of which. How about that red and white barrel.
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Mar 20, 2015 09:31
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You son of a bitch.
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Mar 20, 2015 13:38
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Jibo posted:Speaking of which. How about that red and white barrel. Never had trouble with it. git gud, scrub  I forget, has anyone mentioned switching to Raiden in MGS2?
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Mar 20, 2015 13:41
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Ryoshi posted:I really hope there's an XII HD Remaster. Oh god...I would still buy it if it comes with customizable camera control. The one thing I could not get past in 12, that made it unplayable to me, was that the "turn camera" input corresponds to "turn world" instead (so, reversed X-axis). I more or less can't function that way because I use the left stick more or less to run "forward" and the right one to change which way "forward" is.
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Mar 20, 2015 13:41
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Jibo posted:Speaking of which. How about that red and white barrel. I was stumped until the internet came along.
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Mar 20, 2015 13:47
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Jibo posted:The microscope puzzle. It was basically a hosed up version of Go or Reversi or Othello or whatever against a program that always knows the optimal moves. It was also completely optional. Needing it to kill the boss isn't even true, I believe. If you cheat and warp right to the final boss you can kill him with any old weapon, it's just that the game normally won't let you proceed to fighting him without that weapon Speaking of timers tied to CPU cycles, I think Mafia had a mission like that, but I think it was also an optional mission in the post game where you can drive around and get crazy cars by completing challenges. All I remember is that you have to drive some car from point A to point B but there are explosions chasing you (for some reason, the post game doesn't really make sense). Their frequency is determined by how fast your CPU is for some reason so on a faster system you would barely get 20 feet before you exploded and there was no way to dodge or get away from them.
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Mar 20, 2015 13:53
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There's a puzzle in King's Quest VI (the best King's Quest) in which you need to pay Charon to cross the River Styx. You do this with two gold coins you find on a corpse in a labyrinth, but the room with the corpse is not in the path of the exit. It's very possible to go through the maze without even seeing the coins. Or, if you're like me, you can see the coins, take the coins, then walk into one of the maze's many pitfall rooms and die, then reload and make your way thought the maze only to realize hours later that you forgot to grab the coins after reloading. To my knowledge there is no way to return to the coins once the labyrinth is completed. You also have one chance to select the correct lamp from a seller, out of five choices. If you've been paying close attention to cut scenes you can probably figure out what to do, but if you happen to select the wrong one there's no way to exchange it. It'll just sit in your inventory for the rest of the game, useless.
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Mar 20, 2015 21:40
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loving phone
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Mar 21, 2015 00:41
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I don't remember that one, but I never played Gabriel Knight.
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Mar 21, 2015 00:50
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I don't know if it was intentionally a troll but I reached a point in Unlimited Saga where I guess my swimming stat wasn't good enough to progress and I had no way of changing that. Good times.
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Mar 21, 2015 01:09
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Jibo posted:Speaking of which. How about that red and white barrel. The barrel is pretty much the textbook of bad intuitive game design. Up until That Barrel, all the other red and white barrels would have you able to progress by simply bouncing on them with the small (yet increasing to a limited extent) amount of springy give they have, leading you to believe they're just trampolines or springs mechanically. Then you get to the one where you have to manually press up and down in time to move it, and you start jumping on it and nothing happens. You ask your friend at school who got past that how, and they just say "oh you just use it to go up and down like on all the barrels" and you're left with still no clue what you're doing wrong, because there is literally no point in the entire franchise before that barrel where you do something like that, and the only tutorial was the previous barrels that you could just as easily bypass by jumping on them like springs. SirPhoebos posted:Never had trouble with it. git gud, scrub I love how at the beginning of MGS3 they double-troll you by first asking you some 4th wall breaking questions to set up the feel of the game. One of them is asking which of the two prior MGS games you liked better. If you say you liked 2 more (and I did. The story is pretty much where Kojima stopped trying to pretend to make sense, but mechanically it's superior) the intro stage starts with Snake wearing a Raiden mask that he's told to take off after a minute. One I just thought of tonight was on the Sega CD Jurassic Park game. It's a first person perspective point and click adventure, that takes place after the movie. Anyways, at one point you have the option of using a heavy rock you have in your inventory on the main computers for the park. For deciding to go full caveman on the dinosaurs, you blow up the island. Game Over.
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Mar 21, 2015 03:16
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Oxyclean posted:I've heard stories of those anti-pirate things occasionally bugging out and nailing non-pirates. Kind of unfortunate when they the more malicious type. Lumberjack Bonanza posted:Wasn't there a game that totally botched their jokey anti-piracy code and got terrible reviews because of it? I know a lot of people tear apart games just because they have some awful, explicit system but I could swear there was a game that got bad reviews for a hidden one. Troll DRM rarely ends up trolling anybody but the false positive victims and/or developer.
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Mar 21, 2015 04:38
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