|
 The good news is that baseball is a neat sport. The bad news is that every team is horrible and will rip all optimism and joy in your heart to pieces with cruel efficiency no matter which of them you pick, so the most you can hope for is that you pick a team that you think is fun to watch in the meantime. This is the thread for that!!! Below there will be summaries of (hopefully) every team in baseball, going over their players and maybe a little thing on their outlook for 2014, and I definitely did not copy-paste that last sentence from last year's thread. American League AL East: Baltimore Orioles - Vacant New York Yankees - Vacant Toronto Blue Jays - Vacant Tampa Bay Rays - Vacant (Note: I'm going to do one for them but if you want to do one as well feel free!! Different opinions are neat!!!!) Boston Red Sox - KYOON GRIFFEY JR (kinda) AL Central: Detroit Tigers - cbx Kansas City Royals - Vacant Cleveland Indians - Vacant Chicago White Sox - Pander Minnesota Twins - IcePheonix AL West Anaheim Angels - Vacant Oakland A's - Vacant Seattle Mariners - seiferguy Houston Astros - Captain Yesterday Texas Rangers - Vacant National League NL East Washington Nationals - Vacant Atlanta Barves - tadashi New York Mets - Vacant Miami Marlins - vegeta dentata (Official winner of the 2015 Annual Meet The Teams Professional Click Award) Philadelphia Phillies - Vacant NL Central St. Louis Cardinals - Vacant Pittsburgh Pirates - Mornacale Milwaukee Brewers - Infidel Castro Cincinatti Reds- Vacant Chicago Cubes - R.D. Mangles NL West Los Angeles Dodgers - Propaganda Machine San Francisco Giants - Craptacular (and Ahmat The Ankh) San Diego Padres - Vacant Colorado Rockies - will colorado Arizona Diamondbacks - Capt. Sticl Monicro fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Apr 9, 2015 |
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 03:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:32 |
|
|
I'll wrassle the White Sox.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 04:11
|
|
|
Your 2015 Philadelphia Phillies! I promise I'll make an actual effort post soonish.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 04:11
|
|
|
I'll claim the Rockies write up. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 04:22
|
|
|
I'll do a Dodgers one if someone more dedicated/funny doesn't beat me to it.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 05:52
|
|
|
I'll write something up for the Mariners after I finish my sheep game. I may actually be optimistic!
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 06:18
|
|
|
seiferguy posted:I'll write something up for the Mariners after I finish my sheep game. I may actually be optimistic! I'll make sure you give Brad Miller the respect he deserves.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 06:25
|
|
|
Damnit I lost the bet with FlamingLiberal and some other idiot rear end in a top hat. Looks like I'm talking Marlins.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 06:53
|
|
|
 Your 2015 Houston Astros From the '13 to '14 seasons, the Astros improved by 19 wins. I'm not predicting the Astros to do that again, but inroads are being made to competing with the Angels and A's. 2 picks in the top 5 of the draft doesn't hurt, either. Manager: A.J. Hinch  I don't think Bo Porter got a fair shake, but I'm not Jeff Luhnow. Hinch didn't impress in Arizona, but his managing record is better than Porter's, so we'll see. Key Gains Hank Conger (C) Evan Gattis (C) Jed Lowrie (SS) Luis Valbuena (3B) Colby Rasmus (OF) Luke Gregerson (RP) Pat Neshek (RP) Key Losses Dexter Fowler (CF) Mike Foltynewicz (P) Predicted opening day lineup C: Jason Castro  Castro's got tough competition this year to be the starter, but I think the chips fall in his favor. 1B: Chris Carter  With Singleton struggling last year, Carter is penciled in as a position player. Fits, to a tee, the Astros concept of Feast or Famine. 2B: Jose Altuve  The AL batting champion might not repeat, but he'll still put up good numbers. SS: Jed Lowrie  We got him back! Holding the fort until Carlos Correa comes up, which will probably happen in the summer. 3B: Luis Valbuena  The GIF speaks for itself. LF: Jake Marisnick  Marisnick has really taken off in Houston. Possibly a long-term solution, depending on his 2015. CF: Colby Rasmus  Tal's Hill has claimed many a victim, so I'm not going to get attatched to this guy. RF: George Springer  Dingers, nothing but dingers. DH: Evan Gattis  This guy had better be good, or else we lost Foltynewicz for nothing. Projected Rotation: Dallas Keuchel Scott Feldman Collin McHugh Brett Oberholtzer Anthony Bass Bullpen: We got one now!!!!!! Luke Gregerson Pat Neshek Tony Sipp Josh Fields Chad Qualls and probably another guy Bench: Jonathan Singleton Matt Dominguez Hank Conger Robbie Grossman Jonathan Villar Prediction 83-79. We're a year away from the playoffs.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 07:21
|
|
|
CaptainYesterday posted:Bench: Grossman still has options, Presley doesn't, so I expect Presley to be there instead of Robbie
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 07:48
|
|
|
 GET HYPE FOR THE 2015 MILWAUKEE BREWERS (A.K.A. That One Baseball Team With That Dog Your Girlfriend Won't Shut Up About Because It's SOOOOOO CUTE)  This logo is a baseball mitt consisting of a lower case m and b. Yes, some people still don't know this. 2014 Record: 82-80, 3rd Place NL Central Key Additions: Adam Lind, Neal Cotts, Corey Knebel, Shane Peterson, Luis Sardinas, Luis Jimenez Key Departures: Mark Reynolds, Yovani Gallardo, Zach Duke, Tom Gorzelanny, Rickie Weeks and his 5-foot wide strike zone, and a batting cage pitching machine named Marco Estrada YOUR (probable) 2015 STARTING LINEUP!** **Lineup subject to change as a result of, but not limited to: scorpion stings, domestic accidents involving luggage, attempting to tear a phone book in half, being hit in the face by a teammate with a bat, or stepping on cacti. C - #20 - Jonathan Lucroy  .301/.373/.465, 13 HR, 69 RBI, 655 PA, 132 OPS+ PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING PITCH FRAMING Oh, and the guy's pretty good at hitting I guess. Pitch Framing. 1B - #24 - Adam Lind  .321/.381/.479, 6 HR, 40 RBI, 318 PA, 141 OPS+ Aquired in the trade that sent Marco Estrada off to Toronto (  good luck with that Canada), Adam Lind is the first actual no I'm not kidding real live first baseman the Brewers have had since Prince Fielder hosed off to Detroit to take Mike Ilitch's ill-gotten pizza and pyramid scheme money. And by real first baseman, I mean he mostly played DH last year. Sure, Lind has some injury issues and can't hit lefties worth poo poo, but this is a team that was marching loving Lyle Overbay and Mark Reynolds out there everyday, so Lind is definately an upgrade.2B - #2 - Ryan "Scooter" Gennett  .289/.320/.434, 9 HR, 54 RBI, 474 PA, 108 OPS+ His real name is Ryan, yet he prefers to go by "Scooter." I'm not kidding. A loving grown rear end man still calls himself "Scooter." Yeah, he still looks like he's 15 years old, but...forget it. Y'know what, as long as he hits better than Rickie Weeks (which shouldn't be that hard really) he can call himself whatever the hell he wants. SS - #9 - Jean Segura  .246/.289/.326, 5 HR, 31 RBI, 557 PA, 71 OPS+ 2014 was a pretty poor year overall for Segura, but considering he lost his infant son in the middle of the season, let's cut the guy some slack. He's young, and 2013 showed he's got the potential to be a star on offence and defence. If anyone on this team should see an increase in performance, it's Segura. 3B - #16 - Aramis Ramirez  .285/.330/..427, 15 HR, 66 RBI, 531 PA, 109 OPS+ Ramirez is playing his final season this year, but nobody will give a poo poo because he doesn't play for the Yankees. LF - #18 - Khris Davis  .244/.299/.457, 22 HR, 69 RBI, 549 PA, 107 OPS+ In 2013, Davis was launching balls left and right. Because of this, they felt they had too many outfielders and traded Norichika Aoki to Kansas City. Lo and behold, Davis came back down to earth big time in 2014. He'll probably hit 20+ Home Runs and strike out a ton, so he's basically Mark Reynolds. CF - #27 - Carlos Gomez  .284/.356/.477, 23 HR, 73 RBI, 644 PA, 130 OPS+ I will admit when I'm wrong. I was adamant that Gomez's 2013 season was just a career year and his poor plate discipline and unusually high BABIP would mean a return to earth. He wound up posting almost the exact same stats in 2014. So much for that. Gomez has turned into one of the best 5-tool players in baseball, which annoys me greatly since Minnesota traded him away for the privilege of running J.J. Hardy out of town. gently caress you, Bill Smith. Oh, and he's almost a lock to start some bench clearing brawl every year for "playing the wrong way." See Brian McCann (2013) and Gerrit Cole (2014) for further details. RF - #8 - Ryan Braun  .266/.324/.453, 19 HR, 81 RBI, 580 PA, 114 OPS+ And last but not least, our resident asshat who unfortunately is probably our best player. Maybe. Ever since our PED poster child got caught, he's had a rather hard time staying healthy. The past two seasons saw Braun on the DL multiple times for a damaged nerve in his thumb for which he had surgery on this past offseason. Braun's far too talented to be posting subpar numbers like last years, topical creams aside. Here's hoping he can return to his .300+ hitting ways. Probable Bench: Martin Maldonado - C Gerardo Parra - OF Luis Sardinas - MIF Jason Rogers - 1B Logan Schafer - OF THE STARTING ROTATION #26 - Kyle Lohse  198.1 IP, 3.54 ERA, 3.13K/BB, 1.150 WHIP, 3.95 FIP Has thankfully worked out much better than the last time we signed a starting pitcher from the Cardinals. #22 - Matt Garza  163.1 IP, 3.64 ERA, 2.52 K/BB, 1.182 WHIP, 3.54 FIP Despite pitching nearly as well as Lohse last year, pretty much every Brewers fan I know hates Matt Garza. I mean really hates him. In other news, the Brewers have a lot of idiot fans. #38 - Wily Peralta  198.2 IP, 3.53 ERA, 2.52 K/BB, 1.304 WHIP, 4.11 FIP Peralta had a breakout 2014 season as he finally learned to control his pitches effectively enough to cement himself firmly in the Brewers rotation. Assuming he continues to build on that, he could become the next Yovani Gallardo, if Yovani Gallardo had become what everyone though Yovani Gallardo was going to become. What? #50 - Mike Fiers  71.2 IP, 2.13 ERA, 4.47 K/BB, .879 WHIP, 2.99 FIP I really don't know what to expect of out Fiers. Stats-wise, he was the best starter the Brewers had. Then again, he only pitched for a couple months. I seriously doubt he's going to do as well as last year, but assuming he doesn't melt down like he did in 2013, I imagine most people will be happy. Just try not to kill Stanton this time, please. #52 - Jimmy Nelson  69.1 IP, 4.93 ERA, 3.00 K/BB, 1.457 WHIP, 3.78 FIP Nelson is presumably the last piece of the rotation, having made 12 starts last year and is considered the top pitching prospect in the Brewers system. However, he had issues locating his pitches last season, so a repeat performance could open the door for either Tyler Thornburg, Taylor Jungmann, or Johnny Hellweg into the rotation. Probable Bullpen: Francisco Rodriguez (R - Closer) Jonathan Broxton (R) Will Smith (L) Neal Cotts (L) Jeremy Jeffress (R) Brandon Kintzler (R) Tyler Thornberg (R) Infidel Castro fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Mar 24, 2015 |
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 08:56
|
|
|
  WELCOME YOUR 2015 CHICAGO WHITE SOXIn 2013, the White Sox finally hit a nadir that forced Kenny Williams to abandon the whole "retooling on the fly" approach and accept the concept of a full rebuild around a strong, young core. This required admitting mistakes  And eulogizing ancient heroes  It involved getting fools  to give up value  Well. It's now 2015. Good drafts, good trades, and good extensions have led to irrational hope that one of the worst teams in Major League Baseball in 2013, a team that couldn't win 75 games in 2014, can rebound to be a world Champion in 2015. Is it a sensible dream? Perhaps not. But if you want to be a White Sox fan, you have to follow the example of our biggest fan and be just a bit of a homer.  THE FRONT OFFICE  THE KING IN THE SOUTH  Owner: Jerry Reinsdorf. Age: Several lifetimes one assumes. Why We Hate Him: Threatening to move the Sox to Florida if he didn't get a new stadium. He got the stadium. It was a dump in a bad neighborhood. Why We Love Him: He actually put money into making the stadium pretty nice now. Plus, he actually does love the White Sox, and pumps money into the roster if they're competitive. He's remarkably loyal to his players and employees. THE RISING STAR  General Manager: Rick Hahn Pedigree: Business only, never played baseball professionally Core Competency: Trading with Kevin Towers extensively before Towers got fired. Would Joe Morgan hate him: Almost certainly. CHICAGO'S OTHER BLACK PRESIDENT  Executive Vice President: Kenny Williams What's his deal: Booted upstairs in 2012 to get the reins to Hahn. CHANGES SINCE 2014 Notable Losses Paul Konerko (an austere  )Adam Dunn ( )"The New Munenori Kawasaki" Moises Sierra (  )Jeff Keppinger ( )Dylan Axelrod ( )Gordon Beckham (  )Alejandro de Aza ( )Matt Lindstrom ( )Felipe Paulino ( )Ronald Belisario ( )Andre Rienzo ( )Jordan Danks ( )Marcus Semien ( )Dayan Viciedo ( )Notable Additions:  RELIEF PITCHER: DAVID ROBERSTON His deal: The closer the Sox have not had since Bobby Jenks, if he can match his work from the past few years. His deal: 4 years, $46M. Thoughts: Per Wikipedia, His tendency to invite trouble by walking batters, only to escape it by getting strikeouts, earned him the nickname "Houdini." Fuuuuuuuuck.  STARTING PITCHER: JEFF SAMARDZIJA His deal: SP2 type, about even with Jose Quintana. His deal: One year left, ~$10M. Got him for Marcus Semien and a song from Brad Pitt, who apparently hated Jeff's goofy as poo poo hair. Extension may be in the works. Thoughts: Much like Bruce Lee mixing martial arts, Jeff attempted to mix Rollie Finger's mustache with Jared Leto's hair. He failed on both counts, and is now known as "MLB player who looks most likely to sell you meth besides Colby Rasmus". He's been good the last 4 years, so even if he doesn't repeat 2014 he'll still probably be well worth the trade. Extending...not so much.  RELIEF PITCHER: ZACH DUKE His deal: Very good lefty reliever, without a major platoon problem lately (.586 OPS vs RHB, .569 OPS vs LHB in 2014). For the Sox, the new Matt Thornton, hopefully. His deal: 3 years, $15M. Thoughts: Consolation prize for the Andrew Miller sweepstakes.. A 1.125 WHIP with 0.5 HR/9 and 11.4 K/9 are absolutely sustainable, so this will work awesomely.  LEFT FIELDER: MELKY CABRERA His deal: Good hitting left fielder. Defense is questionable, but still the best the White Sox have had in LF since...Tim Raines? Seriously they've put some bad gloves out there. His deal: 3 years, $42M. Thoughts: Carlos Lee, Carlos Quentin, Dayan Viciedo, those are the luminaries Melky is succeeding in patrolling left field. So long as he doesn't get any more spinal tumors, he'll be the best of a bad lot. He'll probably be slotted into the #2 hitting slot, giving the Sox a fairly impressive Eaton-Melky-Abreu 1-2-3.   OTHER NOTABLE ADDITIONS: Adam LaRoche, Brian N. Anderson, Brad Penny, Emilio Benifacio, Geovany Soto, SO WHAT DO WE EXPECT IN 2015  THE MANAGER Robin Ventura - Well, he seems to be learning. I can't really think of much to say about him regarding 2014 or 2015. He'll be okay. CATCHER Tyler Flowers - After donning a pair of magic glasses, Tyler Flowers could suddenly hit major league pitching okay and became GOGGLES. Had The Tyler Flowers Destroys Oakland's Hope Game, replete with a classic Hawk "YOU GOTTA BE BLEEPIN ME." Geovany Soto - Probably the most competent backup White Sox catcher since...Tyler Flowers I guess? Usually it's someone who cannot hit, so this is a welcome change. FIRST BASE Jose Abreu - Baseball Jesus. The New Pujols. There are not enough superlatives. Adam LaRoche - Gonna be 35 years old, but still a decent glove at first and left-handed bat with some thump. SECOND BASE Wet Garbage - A pile of wet garbage. Some of it has been picked over by a raccoon. It can't hit or glove. Carlos Sanchez - All Glove No Bat classic 2B. Gordon Beckham - All Glove No Bat disappointing 2B. Several prospects - Micah Johnson is probably the closest. He's killing the ball this spring, and in the best case scenario he would be Billy Hamilton, 2nd Baseman. SHORTSTOP Alexei Ramirez - Mr. Jazzhands is getting a bit older, losing a step or two. Still solid on both sides of the ball. Tyler Saladino - Bounced between AA-AAA the past few years. Put together a drat good half year in AAA in 2014, so get hyped? THIRD BASE Connor Gillaspie - A hot half year hid the fact he's not good enough to start. Best case scenario is he's half of a platoon. Matt Davidson - The exception that proves the rule that Kevin Towers is bad at trading. Young and heralded, but so incredibly bad lately. LEFT FIELD Melky Cabrera - He's good! See above. CENTER FIELD Adam Eaton - He's good! A recent extension keeps him in a Sox uniform until 2021 if options are exercised. If he does well, he'll probably be the next face of the franchise like Mark Buehrle and Paul Konerko. So far as I can tell the qualifications are being good, on a below-market contract, and being white. RIGHT FIELD Avisail Garcia - An early labrum tear in his shoulder killed most of Garcia's promising 2nd season in Chicago. A good recovery and utilization of his talent can make him a hidden gem, and an incredibly cheap upgrade over who started in RF last season. DESIGNATED HITTER Some mix of LaRoche, Abreu, and whoever else Ventura wants to give plate appearances to sporadically. STARTING PITCHERS Chris Sale - He's good! Jose Quintana - He's good! And without nearly the profile of most other SP1/2 types! Jeff Samardzija - He's good! John Danks - He's not so good! Former Mark Buehrle redux lost velocity and command after getting the biggest contract in White Sox history. Oops. His recovery is both necessary and unlikely. Hector Noesi - He's adequate! Really! Surprisingly average season with the White Sox in 2014 after getting shelled everywhere else in his career, including earlier stops in 2014 at Seattle and Texas. While he can be better than Danks, he only needs to be good enough to keep Rodon in AAA for a while to develop. Carlos Rodon - Highly rated prospect, essentially MLB-ready stuff. Will probably stay in Charlotte to work on other offerings and for contract reasons (Boras client). RELIEVERS David Robertson - He's good! Zach Duke - He's good! Zach Putnam - Out of nowhere success story in a bullpen that lacked success stories in 2014. 1.98 ERA in 54.2 IP, with a 1.079 WHIP. Too soon to know if it was a fluke. Daniel Webb - Decent job out of the pen, despite walk rate spike. Gets another whack at it. Jake Petricka - Pronounced "Peht-trick-shah" for some reason. Was the nominal closer in 2014 with 14 saves. Nate Jones - Spent 2014 getting and recovering from TJS. Was very good, but he's nearing 30 and running out of time to prove himself. Probably returns to action mid-season. Javy Guerra - Decent 2014 ERA belies the fact he pretty much let every inherited runner score on him. 3rd least-bad option to emerge from 2014's bullpen circus. Dan Jennings - LOOGY who came over in the Andre Rienzo trade. Cannot be worse than Andre Rienzo. EXPECTATIONS REGULAR SEASON: 89-73, 1st of 5 in AL Central PLAYOFFS: Win 11 straight games for their second World Series Championship in 10 years. (Like I said, you have to be a bit of a homer...)
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 19:27
|
|
|
I will do the Tigers.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 19:32
|
|
|
I might be willing to do the Twins or Brewers but for the twins all I can say is 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof 100 losses soon brother paul molitor hof
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2015 19:34
|
|
|
ABANDON ALL HOPE, YOU IDIOTS. IT'S THE 2015 CHICAGO CUBS Cubs in a Nutshell After Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer took over, the Cubs began gutting their roster in order to restock the farm and tank. The Cubs have been basically unwatchable since with a roster of replacement players, cheap reclamation projects, and Starlin Castro. But, the years of futility are bearing fruit. The Cubs have several of the most vaunted prospects in the game, signed Jon Lester, and hired Joe Maddon to wear goofy glasses and get run out of Chicago for not winning a world series even though this is not possible. The prospects are reaching the majors and Cubs look like they are on the crest of a competitive run. The Cubs have also sadly begin their quest towards being a real baseball team without Ernie Banks, who passed away earlier this year and was the greatest Cub who ever lived. It's a new Cubs, a new Wrigley with a loving videoboard, and a no bleachers for most of the season. Let's all get overhyped and disappointed because it is important to remember that the Cubs will never win a World Series.  The team hopes that the idea of two consecutive Cubs games is something to celebrate instead of a threat Front Office:   Theo Epstein/Jed Hoyer The Cubs Brains Trust has finally seen the fruits of their rebuilding project: drafting Javier Baez and Kris Bryant, trading for Addison Russell, Anthony Rizzo and Jake Arrieta, signing Jorge Soler and Jon Lester. For years, the Cubs had relied on signing overpriced veterans, fleecing the Orioles, and waiting for Kerry Wood's ligaments to heal. Now, they have an arsenal of young talent that will make their mark on the Cubs or serve as trade chips for the club's biggest weakness, pitching. Or, more likely, they will sit around and watch every single prospect bust or get horrifically maimed because the Cubs. Manager  Joe Maddon Maddon came aboard after learning that Rays' GM Andrew Friedman's departure to LA gave him the ability to opt-out. In order to hire him, the Cubs had to gently caress over the adequate Rick Renteria. Look forward to hearing about the Curse of Renteria for many years. He is widely considered one of the best managers in the game open to conventional strategies while maintaining a sense of levity by organizing goofy costume-themed roadtrips. In other words, he is a bizarro Tony La Russa. It will be great to watch horrible Cubs fans and the Chicago media slowly strangle the life out of him when he doesn't immediately win 10 world series. The Team  1B Anthony Rizzo .286/.386/.527/.913 A Cub who gets on base and smashes the poo poo out the ball. Hoyer's attempted to acquire him at every stop and he finally broke out as the Cubs' first baseman for the forseeable future. He mashed 32 dingshots, plays a good enough first to protect the dugout from Castro's throws, learned to hit lefties, and made his first all-star team. For some reason, he cut his glorious mane of curls last year. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Concussed by errant Castro throw  2B Javier Baez .169/.227./324 Javier Baez can't loving hit, but when he makes contact he sends balls to the goddamn moon. Look at that slashline! Baez struck out 95 times in 229 plate appearances. Nine of his 36 hits were homers: that's a 25% dinger/hit ratio and that is the best thing in the world. Baez is really young, his bat speed is insane, and he's nuked every league he's been in after putting up abysmal numbers so there's some hope. But let's say he is what he is: who doesn't like a two-true outcomes guy who either comically strikes out or sends baseballs into low earth orbit? I love Baez even though he probably will stink this year and might get sent down. Inevitable Cub-related Death Scenario: Literally hits how he has hit  SS Starlin Castro .292/.339/.438 Castro had an impressive rebound year after 2013 saw him as one of the worst players in all of major league baseball. CASTRO! He is a great contact hitter who never walks and has little power. CASTRO! He may perform equally well in the field while wearing oven mitts. CASTRO! He spent last off-season mired in sexual assault allegations and then this year was tangentially connected to a murder in the Dominican Republic. CASTRO! Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Simultaneously runs headfirst into every fielder while attempting to catch a routine pop-up  3B Mystery Man ???/???/??? The Cubs are embroiled in a hot position battle between Man Who Only Hits Homers Mike Olt and some other organizational flotsam. Super-prospect Kris Bryant, who is annihilating baseballs in the spring and is expected to be the best Cubs hitter since Sammy Sosa, won't debut at third because the Cubs believe he needs to work on his defense, which is terrible enough to keep him off the major-league roster until his extra year of service time kicks in and then he'll magically be fine. Bryant is the most hyped of the Cubs hyped prospects. He is doomed. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Headbutted to death by a goat named Goat Blartman that ran thorugh Leon Durham's legs.  C Miguel Montero .243/.329/.370 Montero is a new acquisition from the D-Backs who is reportedly good at the dark art of pitch framing and is a strong, veteran leader. As a product of the Diamondbacks organization, he is expected to teach the Cubs how to deal with baseball-related pique by throwing baseball's at people's faces. He'll be joined by David Ross, Leter's personal catcher, and possibly Welington Castillo if the Cubs lose their loving minds and carry three catchers.Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Sees someone jumping into a pool and has rage stroke.  RF Jorge Soler .292/.330/.573 The Cubs' Cuban slugger Soler came up last year and just started knocking in dingshots and running around and I love this dude. Right now, the best of the Cubs' prospects. When he was in the minors, he tried to attack an entire opposing dugout with a bat. Soler rules. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Hit by Wrigley Field construction detritus, is then sued by rooftop owner  CF Dexter Fowler .276/.375/.399 The Cubs' new leadoff hitter came over from the Astros. If he continues to get on base like he has in his career, it will be a triumphant shift from the Cubs who used to be led in on-base percentage by Carlos Zambrano. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: It involves Clark the Bear and the police will not reveal any more details  RF Chris Coghlan .283/.352/.452 The 2009 Rookie of the Year with the Marlins spent the next five years in baseball oblivion before enjoying a nice little comeback year with the Cubs. It's not clear if he'll be the regular left-fielder; he'll likely platoon with someone like Ryan Sweeney or (god forbid) Junior Lake. Whatever happens, Coghlan's probably not the future in left for the Cubs; he rode a .337 BABIP last year and is an atrocious fielder. It's possible that Bryant ends up there with the glut of Cubs infield prospects. Other Dudes Arismendy Alcantara: Utility man who played 2nd and center last year after the Cubs traded Bonifacio. Junior Lake: May his reign of terror be ended Addison Russell: Highly-touted shortstop will start in the minors Mike Olt: A shittier Javier Baez Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Nine separate misfortunes Pitchers  Jon Lester, 219.2 IP, 2.46 ERA, 2.80 FIP Lester was signed for big money to be the staff ace and help the Cubs get to the playoffs now. Through spring training, he currently is wrestling with a dead arm. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: The obvious and the inevitable  Jake Arrieta, 156.2 IP, 2.53 ERA, 2.36 FIP Emerged as the Cubs' best pitcher, especially once Samardzija was traded. A right-handed power pitcher with a nasty curve, Arrieta should give the Cubs a good 1-2 punch at the top of the rotation. Do not discuss this man around Orioles fans. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Leaves the Cubs after he is selected to represent Lakeview in the next Biosphere project Jason Hammel: 176.1 IP 3.47 ERA, 3.92 FIP Returned to the Cubs after being offloaded to Oakland in the Samardzija/Russell trade. Sort of imploded in Oakland, so hopefully he's meant to pitch in the NL. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Punched in the pitching shoulder by Derek Norris  Tsuyoshi Wada 69.1 IP, 3.25 ERA, 3.75 FIP Wada came out of nowhere and just dominated people for a stretch last year. He's my favorite pitcher on the team, and I'm thrilled the Cubs signed him again, although I don't know if he's good. Inevitable Cub-Related Death Scenario: Arrested after taking a blogger hostage after one Wada pun too many. Kyle Hendricks: 80.1 IP, 2.46 ERA, 3.32 FIP Surprising rookie starter looks like he might be able to eat some innings this year.  Edwin Jackson, 140.2 IP, 6.33 ERA YES THAT IS RIGHT This guy loving sucks Expect lefty Travis Wood to be in the mix for a rotation spot as well. Relievers  Pedro Strop Setup man who played himself into a solid role last season. Inevitable Steve Rosenbloom Hot Take Lede: Strop came in with the bases loaded, but the only movement he could get was on the bill of his hat. Hector Rondon: Did well as closer last season even for a team that was actively trying to lose games. Jason Motte: Former Cardinal Justin Grimm Spent some time as the only reliable bullpen arm last season. Season Prognosis Even without the usual fatalistic Cubs bullshit, it is a little crazy to expect big things from the Cubs this season. They are relying on too many guys with little experience in the majors; the guy with the heaviest burden of expectations has yet to play an inning in the bigs. Nevertheless, while the Cubs may not start winning this year, they should have a solid future based on good, young players and the unleashed spending potential that should come with a revamped park, the Ricketts' deep pockets, and the fact that they spent no money while intentionally trying to lose games for the past several years. But also they are the Cubs. The Cubs never win anything. The Cubs' hyped rookies are lost to arm surgeries and lost ability. The Cubs are a miserable, snake-bitten team that forces otherwise reasonable people to ally with Cubs fans, the worst people on the planet. They won't win this year, they won't win ever, until Lake Michigan finally reclaims this rotten city and sends us and the Cubs into a blessed death.
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 02:47
|
|
|
Quick correction for the Cubs: Baez was drafted before Hoyer/Epstein and Coghlan's probably platoon guy is Chris "Got the gently caress out of San Diego and Seattle" Denorfia.
tadashi fucked around with this message at 13:58 on Mar 25, 2015 |
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 13:51
|
|
|
R.D. Mangles posted:The Cubs are a miserable, snake-bitten team that forces otherwise reasonable people to ally with Cubs fans, the worst people on the planet. They won't win this year, they won't win ever, until Lake Michigan finally reclaims this rotten city and sends us and the Cubs into a blessed death. Amen.
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 14:06
|
|
|
Top Hats Monthly posted:I might be willing to do the Twins or Brewers but for the twins all I can say is please don't write about the Twins if you don't know anything about them (I'll do a post tonight)
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 14:28
|
|
|
IcePhoenix posted:please don't write about the Twins if you don't know anything about them I'm the child of a season ticket holder and I went to spring training this year, also that Byron Buxton, the future looks bright brother  God I hope so at least
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 15:42
|
|
|
Top Hats Monthly posted:I'm the child of a season ticket holder and I went to spring training this year, also that Byron Buxton, the future looks bright brother They're not great but they're not a 100 loss team (possibly not even a 90 loss team, but I'll get to that in my write-up)
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 15:43
|
|
|
IcePhoenix posted:They're not great but they're not a 100 loss team (possibly not even a 90 loss team, but I'll get to that in my write-up) I was employing a little bit of humor. In my loss pool with friends I have them at 89 losses this year, there are  on the line with that guesstimate.
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 15:45
|
|
|
Kris Bryant will loving suck because the Cubs are not allowed to be good
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 16:11
|
|
|
ZenVulgarity posted:Kris Bryant will loving suck because the Cubs are not allowed to be good Just let us have another month of excitement/happiness please. I need something to keep me going.
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2015 16:13
|
|
|
This is way longer than I intended it to be The 2015 Minnesota Twins  2014 Record – 70-92, 5th place AL Central 2014 Team statistics – Stat (League Rank/MLB Rank) Runs – 715 (5/7) DINGERS – (11/19) OBP - .324 (2/5) OPS - .713 (5/9) Team ERA – 4.57 (15/29) Starter’s ERA – 5.06 (15/30) Bullpen ERA – 3.73 (10/21) Changes The 2014 Twins were a pretty young team, so they weren’t super active in the offseason. They did, however, finally switch managers, firing Ron Gardenhire and hiring manager in waiting Paul Molitor after an extensive search that almost ended with Boston coach Torey LoVullo getting the job instead. With a new manager, there was an overhaul of the coaching staff in general, as well. The Twins also brought in Torii Hunter and Ervin Santana through Free Agency, while their only notable loss was reliever Jared Burton. The Roster Manager – Paul Molitor  This is Molitor’s first year as a manager in any capacity. He’s spent the last few years as a “roving instructor” for the Twins minor leagues and last year as a bench coach for the team. The players seem to like him and a lot of the young guys credit him with some of their success so that’s a good sign, I suppose. The Offense Catcher – Kurt Suzuki  Suzuki had a career year last season, which, combined with young slugger Josmil Pinto’s struggles with the defensive and mental aspects of catching, earned him a nice 3/18 (third year is a vesting option) contract extension. Suzuki has the “staff manager” reputation, so take that as you will, but it certainly seemed like pitchers were way more comfortable with him behind the plate. First Base/DL – Joe Mauer  Joe Mauer shown in his natural habitat Mauer had his worst year to date in 2014, slashing .277/.361/.371 in 120 games. Despite being moved to first to help him stay healthy, he still missed a quarter of the season with an oblique issue, and his supposed power increase also didn’t show up, as he hit just four home runs. One has to think that he should be able to bounce back, at least from an on base standpoint, though the power will likely never be there. Second Base – Brian Dozier  After changing his swing in 2013, Dozier’s 2014 was a continuation of his growth, as he enjoyed a 20/20 season. His average was just shy of .250, but he still got on base at a .345 clip. He also plays stellar defense, and the Twins decided just a couple days ago that those factors were worth the cost certainty of locking his arb years up with a four year 20 million contract. Shortstop – Danny Santana/Eduardo Escobar  (shown: Danny Santana) Santana was called up about a third of the way through the season and made an immediate impact. Though his natural position is short, he played much of the year in center field. Even playing out of position, though, he played very good defense while hitting .319 with an OPS of .824. His BABIP will likely regress, but he showed the skills to be a very valuable player up the middle. Escobar was one of the players in the Liriano trade with the White Sox and has been a good utility guy for the Twins. He hit a lot of doubles last year which was kinda cool. Escobar will likely start at short if Santana moves back to Center Field (more on that below) Third Base –  Plouffe showing off his most redeemable quality Trevor Plouffe, with the spectre of Miguel Sano removed from behind him due to TJS last spring, quietly posted a pretty decent season. Barring another injury, though, don’t expect to see him in the hot corner past May. His bat is average at best and his defense is terrible. Left Field – Oswaldo Arcia  Arcia has a ton of pop but is very inconsistent. He can draw walks, but his career average of .241 needs to improve if he’s ever going to be a serious threat. He’s a natural Right Fielder and has a cannon for an arm but he’ll be moving to left to accommodate Torii Hunter. 3/26 edit: apparently Rosario (see CF) may have a chance to start or platoon here too Center Field – Aaron Hicks/Jordan Schafer/Danny Santana/Eddie Rosario  What a mess. Hicks is terrible and oftentimes seems like he doesn’t care or want to work at getting better. Schafer is a known commodity and isn’t good, though he can steal some bases and play good defense. Santana would be great, but the Twins would rather he stay at short. Rosario is the dark horse here, he was a touted prospect last year but missed 50 games due to a failed drug test, and had a bad summer after that. He tore apart the fall league though and has been having a good spring, so he could possibly start the season in CF. it doesn’t really matter though because we all know who will be here next year  Right Field – Torii Hunter  (live footage of the Torii Hunter contract announcement) Yeah it’s a nostalgia signing but who cares Torii is back yaaaaay (also he’s still putting up good numbers so that’s cool).  This is my favorite Torii Hunter moment of all time Designated Hitter – Kennys Vargas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS02oV336KY Vargas is basically a switch hitting David Ortiz, right down to his left handed swing, which is nearly identical. Showed a ton of pop and promise last year in limited time, but also struck out in almost 25% of his plate appearances. He’ll have to show he can adjust this year or pitchers will eat him alive. The Bench At least one loser of the CF battle (OF) Eduardo Escobar (UTIL) Josmil Pinto (C) Maybe Eduardo Nunez (UTIL) Starting Pitching Can I just skip this part? No? poo poo. The Twins starting pitching was the worst in baseball last year before park adjustments by almost a fifth of a run. Even worse than the Rockies. I will take this time to point out that we play in a pitcher’s park and the Rockies, well, you know about their home field. So it was pretty bad. Phil Hughes  The defacto ace of the staff, Phil Hughes set the all-time MLB record for K/BB as a qualified starter last year, so that was neat. By trashing his slider and throwing 90% fastballs he somehow managed to keep hitters off balance enough to post a sub-3 ERA in the second half. The rest of his numbers don’t exactly scream anything but “#2 starter at best” to me though. I don’t think he’ll regress much overall, though, since his FIP was more than a full run below his ERA, and the Twins are probably a little better in the field this year. Ricky Nolasco  Terry Ryan already regretting this contract He should be a #3/4 on a good team but is getting paid #2 money. Was terrible last year, though some of that can be attributed to injury. Nolasco should improve on last year’s numbers, but I doubt an ERA lower than 4.25 (at best) or so is anywhere close to in the cards for him in the AL. Ervin Santana  Took forever to sign last year because of QO bullshit, still had a decent season with the Braves. Has a weird career odd/even year split going, but odd years are the good ones so hopefully he continues that. Is probably actually the #2 starter, and probably should be. His first name is actually Johan which may have factored into this signing. Kyle Gibson  Sometimes an official picture is already the best one Former first round pick, has never really fully recovered from TJS. Still, put of a respectable 4.47 ERA in his first full year in 2014, so there’s potential. The fifth starter – Pray for rain  This is going to be either Tommy Millone, Trevor May, or Mike Pelfry. Millone could maybe be good (doubt it), May still has control issues though he’s had a good spring (he also doesn't have a third pitch), and Mike Pelfry takes longer between pitches than it took you to get to this part of this post and is really really bad. Closer – Glen Perkins  Glen Perkins owns and is one of the more underrated closers in baseball. Also he’s from Minnesota and got the save in the all-star game last year which was in Minnesota and if you don’t think that’s the best thing then you’re probably a Yankees or Angels fan or something else terrible. The rest of the bullpen isn’t really notable. It’s a bullpen. Final Thoughts The Twins offense was pretty good last year and I think it will probably at worst hold fast. Some guys are due for regression but I think as many should regress up as down. The pitching was soooooo bad and basically it can’t get worse which, in theory, more wins. Vegas has the Twins o/u at 74.5 last I saw but I’m going to take the over because IcePhoenix fucked around with this message at 19:03 on Mar 26, 2015 |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2015 01:30
|
|
|
I'll do the Jays.
|
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2015 18:00
|
|
|
Danny Santana will be playing shortstop In 2016
|
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2015 19:05
|
|
|
AsInHowe posted:I will do the Tigers. I have this for you: http://imgur.com/KZpzAQU
|
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2015 19:15
|
|
|
Storm posted:I have this for you: http://imgur.com/KZpzAQU This is amazing ZenVulgarity posted:Danny Santana will be playing shortstop I think the Twins are going to try really hard to keep him at short this year but unless Rosario turns out really good (if he even makes the roster) I also think they'll just give in and put him back in CF within a month or two.
|
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2015 19:18
|
|
|
Great Twins write-up, but I need some additional information about Joe Mauer such as how many cakes he might be expected to eat this year and whether he is eating a cake right now. You can also include the fun fact that Dozier scored a minor pop hit with the song "Take Me to Church," where you think it is about a church, but if you listen closely you can see that the church is actually a metaphor for loving someone.
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 00:02
|
|
|
R.D. Mangles posted:Great Twins write-up, but I need some additional information about Joe Mauer such as how many cakes he might be expected to eat this year and whether he is eating a cake right now. You can also include the fun fact that Dozier scored a minor pop hit with the song "Take Me to Church," where you think it is about a church, but if you listen closely you can see that the church is actually a metaphor for loving someone. Every true Twins fan knows that Joe is always eating cake.
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 02:18
|
|
|
I'm glad these threads continue on. I'm no longer a good choice to do the Cardinals writeup but I look forward to reading it whenever someone else does it.
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 06:42
|
|
|
 GET READY FOR THE SEATTLE MARINERS HYPE TRAIN WOO 2014 Retrospective: Seattle had come off a lovely 2013 season. They went 71-91, finishing 4th in the AL West, and they featured lineups with Brendan Ryan, Endy Chavez, Jason Bay, and 41-year old Raul Ibanez in the field, and SPs Aaron Harang, Joe Saunders, and Brandon Maurer. The team was so bad and dysfunctional, that Eric Wedge literally had a stroke in the middle of the season. He then announced that he would not manage the team the next year, despite the front office wanting him to do so. So in 2014, Jack Z hired a retread, Lloyd McClendon, who's only managerial fame was picking up 2nd base and taking it to the dugout. Then rumors came out that the team was in on Robinson Cano - everyone wrote it off, until the M's bidded against themselves and Cano became a Mariner. The team looked surprisingly good, somehow and finished 87-75. The young talent started coming up, the SPs started to  and the bullpen was the best in baseball. They could have gone into two 1-game playoffs had Oakland achieved a Bostonian-collapse. Let's look at the front office: The OWNER:  Actually, Hiroshi Yamauchi is dead. He never went to a Mariner game in his life (apparently he had a fear of flying or something). Nintendo of America remains the majority owner, and delegates the responsibility to Howard Lincoln, who was notorious for representing Nintendo in court against unlicensed NES games made by Tengen. Most Mariner fans hate the guy, because his public statements have no self-awareness, and he's always been seen as a cheapskate. Kevin Mather is the President, replacing Chuck Armstrong. I don't know what a president does but he seems to be doing okay. The General Manager:  Jack Zduriencik If you read SAS around 2009-2010, Jack Z was considered one of the best GMs on the forums by some people. He turned the Mariners from a 101 loss team into a team with a running record (pay no attention to the Pythag behind the curtain). He traded JJ Putz and got Jason Vargas & Franklin Gutierrez, then traded Carlos Silva for Milton Bradley. He also got Cliff Lee from The Phillies for some cheap minor league filler. None of these worked out. Then he fired his assistant GM, Tony Blengino, who then wrote a scathing report about him on Fangraphs about how he doesn't know jack poo poo about sabermetrics. Whatever the case, he still makes occasional good trades, and so far he's done somewhat well in minor league evaluations (with plenty of busts). The Manager  Lloyd McClendon Lloyd came in as a retread, formerly managing the Pirates when they were bad, and then being the hitting coach for the Tigers. While he makes dumb decisions like any manager, he's shown the knowledge of when to platoon, and his overall statements make him out to be not an idiot when it comes to progressive play. With the additional talent around him, this should be a good year to gauge what kind of manager he is. After Ron Washington quit, Lloyd remains the only black manager in baseball right now. Projected Starting Lineup  Austin Jackson, CF Acquired via a 3-way trade, all we had to do to get him was trade flailing AAAA 2nd basemen Nick Franklin to get him because Tampa Bay really wanted him. He was going to relieve our CF concerns (we played Abe Almonte and James Jones who were both terrible in 2014). Upon arriving in Seattle, he hit like poo poo, to the tune of .229/.267/.260. Here's to hoping he bounces back, cause CF can't really take hitting like that.   PLATOON! Seth Smith / Justin Ruggiano, RF Via trade, Seattle went out and got both of these players. Seth Smith was acquired by the Padres for Brandon Maurer, and Ruggiano from the Cubs for some AA reliever. Both of their numbers against their respective platoons are quite well. Their fielding leaves a bit to be desired, but both have managed to be pretty healthy, which is something the Mariners value after they tossed Michael Saunders away.  2nd base, Robinson Cano He's paid a lot of money, but last year he was worth it. He hit well and played almost every game minus a bout of the flu. He owns. And he's not a Yankee.  DH, Nelson Cruz The big free agent signing of the offseason - Nelson Cruz hit a lot of dingers last year, something the Mariners sorely missed. There's a lot of risk to this contract, but the Mariners plan on him primarily playing DH, so his risk to injury is less. He's hit some massive bombs in spring so I think his stroke is still there. I'll give him 2 more years before he pulls a Richie Sexson.  3rd base, Kyle Seager Owns. He was an all-star last year, and between his decent hitting and decent fielding, he was one of the most valuable players on the Mariners last year. He got paid pretty well over the break. He will continue to be solidly above average, I think.  1st base, Logan Morrison LoMo was an interesting pickup. We traded top RP prospect Carter Capps for him, and then LoMo preceded to miss most of the season with a leg injury. He then came back and proceeded to miss a few days after he threw his bat after a strikeout, and the resulting splinters caught him in the face and he required stitches. He's an idiot. But his 2nd half numbers were very good. He also isn't Justin Smoak, so he wins on that. He's probably just a stopgap until DJ Peterson or Patrick Kivlehan is ready for the bigs.  Catcher, Mike Zunino After several years of Rob Johnson, Miguel Olivo, Adam Moore, and Josh Bard (earn your meat, man), the Mariners said "gently caress it, catcher defense is sort of important!" and drafted Mike Zunino. He was known for his hitting ability at Florida, but he's primarily a fantastic defensive catcher. Blocking, framing and throwing runners out, he's got it all! Additionally, if you look up "rushed prospect" in the dictionary, you will see his face. Zunino spent little time in the minors. He literally only got 419 PAs in the minors. This shows when someone throws him a curveball - he's completely lost. But if you throw him a fastball, he has the power to crush the poo poo out of that ball. His batting average and OBP were terrible, but his slugging was more than acceptable. He's claimed to have worked on hitting the curve over the winter. I don't believe it, but we'll see.   Platoon #2: Left Field, Dustin Ackley and Rickie Weeks Dustin Ackley is a former #2 overall pick (he went after Strasburg in case you forgot). He hit great in his rookie season, then he slowly degraded and got awful to the point where he was demoted back to AAA. He got a little better and came back and hit for the league average. He can't hit lefties well - so what's the solution? Rickie Weeks, who has never played a major league inning anywhere else besides 2nd base (he played OF in college at least). Rickie can hit lefties alright, and he factors in to being a utility guy.  Shortstop, Brad Miller BRAD MILLER IS A TOP 5 SHORTSTOP. Wait - no he's not. For some reason, the Mariner blogosphere loves this guy. I know why - he's a lefty-hitting SS with a lot of power (relative to the position) and athletic enough to be a good defensive SS. He has a high ceiling, and also a very low floor. In his first year, he showed greatness, then last year he kind of became unhinged. He hit like poo poo for a very long time, which necessitated the calling up of Chris Taylor. Later on in the season, he started to hit well again, which gives you the joke "If you take out the middle of the season, you'll see Brad Miller is actually a pretty good hitter." There was a SS battle going into spring, but it became decided when Chris Taylor broke his wrist and is slated to miss a few weeks of the season. Chris Taylor is the anti-Brad Miller: high contact, low power, fantastic fundamental glove and a decent OBP guy - a Brendan Ryan but a lesser glove and a better bat. The Bench: No photos for these dudes since they're all pretty terrible: Jesus Sucre, C: Can't hit very well at all but he's a very good defensive catcher. It should be noted that John Buck got DFA'd on his birthday to be replaced by Sucre. Willie Bloomquist: is a son of a bitch. He grew up in the same hometown as me. He's pretty garbage and I was pretty excited he missed most of the season with an injury. On opening day last year, I ran into some old classmates from middle school, who were like "Dude BLOOMQUIST IS ON THE TEAM" and I had to remind him that despite being from Port Orchard, he's pretty loving terrible - but credit where it's due; he's somehow made a career being a middling utility guy. The other spots will be filled by who's not platooning in the outfield. Maybe they go with a 5th bench player like Jesus Montero, but who the hell knows. Starting Pitching  Felix Hernandez  He's the best. Probably should have won the Cy Young but he had a couple of bad games in September which apparently is all sportswriters remember. I suppose Kluber was pretty good too.. Hisashi Iwakuma Fantastic #2 guy. Was a finalist for Cy Young in 2013. He seemed to be not as effective in 2014 as he was 2013, but he ran an incredible 7.33 K/BB last year.  James Paxton #3 starter, #1 for pitchface on the team. Look at that! Paxton always had flashes of brilliance then some control issues in the minors. He missed most of the season last year with a lat injury (I think) but if he stays healthy, he'll be one of the better #3s in baseball.  J.A. Happ We traded Michael Saunders for this guy? (We also got cash) If you ADD UP THE WARS, Saunders is more valuable, but oft-injured. Either way, Happ is a leftballer that should benefit greatly from Safeco Field's confines and death to right-handed power Lloyd has already said Happ is a starter, so get ready to see more of him! He's also never finished with more than 166 innings in a season, so hopefully the Mariners can rely on their pitching depth!  Taijuan Walker I've lost track of how many times this guy has been almost-traded. He was for awhile the gem of the Mariner prospect pool, then he came up and struggled, dropping his trade value. He worked on some issues in AAA, and came up with expanded rosters. He looked decent in September, and if the Mariners went to a 1-game sudden death, he would have started that game. He's wrecked the spring training competition this year, but that only means tears (mainly crying, possibly ligaments) in the season. There's a small chance he doesn't make the roster, and either Roenis Elias (unlikely) or Erasmo Ramirez (HIGHLY unlikely) make it in his place. Bullpen  Closer, Fernando Rodney Fernando Rodney is a massive troll with his arrow thing that everyone hates. If LoMo is playing 1st base, he'll run over and see "where the arrow landed." This became so much of a thing, the Mariners made a commercial about it. Fernando Rodney saves are... an experience. He only had 3 blown saves last year (the 6 losses mainly came when he came into the game while it was tied), but he often started his appearances with runners on 1st and 2nd with no outs either by walking the dudes or allowing bloop hits. He had the highest WHIP out of all the major bullpen pitchers last year, but what the hell! Let's live the Fernando Rodney experience! Tom Wilhelmsen: Was the former closer. Became bad. Became good again, and is now the setup man. Used to be a bartender. Enjoys smoking weed. Danny Farquhar: Remember that Ichiro trade that sent him to the Yankees? Farquhar is one of the guys we got back. He suddenly got good when he joined the organization. He's probably the best reliever in the bullpen right now but had a bad showing in spot save duty in 2013 that tainted the image of him as "proven closer" so welp. Charlie Furbush: The only player left from the Doug Fister trade. Not good enough to start, but decent enough for spot pitching, especially against lefties. Yoervis Medina: The weakest member of the bullpen, but his talent would make him closer for the Tigers. That's how good our bullpen is. Carson Smith: Top RP prospect. Pitched a little bit last year in a cup of coffee. Was incredibly good. I hope to see more of him. Some LOOGY, idk: The last two spots for RP are up for grabs. It'll probably go to Dave Rollins, our Rule 5 pick from the Brewers. If not him, then Lucas Luetge, or god forbid, Joe Saunders. Notable players in AAA: Franklin Gutierrez: He's trying to revive his career! He will probably get in a massive carwreck on his way into his first game at Tacoma. Endy Chavez: GO AWAY Danny Hultzen: Remember this guy? 2nd overall pick that shocked everyone? He completely hosed up his shoulder, and spent all of last year rehabbing. He's pitching again "with no pain" so who the hell knows! Notable Departures this offseason: Justin Smoak: We traded Cliff Lee for you, and you turned out to be so bad. Brandon Maurer: Traded for Seth Smith. Maurer converted into a fantastic fireball reliever. I'll miss him. Kendrys Morales: He got hosed by the draft compensation system. Or he hosed himself. Either way, he was really terrible last year. Corey Hart: Didn't recover from surgery. Was also very bad. Erasmo Ramirez (probably): Hasn't been jettisoned yet, but probably will be. He's like Hector Noesi, great stuff but can't put it together. There's no room on the roster for him and he's out of options. I can't imagine him sliding through waivers without getting grabbed. He'll probably be picked up and then face the Mariners 3 times a year and destroy us. Overall thoughts: This is a good team. It's building upon a pretty good team last year (which wasn't a fluke, they should have been better according to Pythag, opposite of what happened in 2009 when the Mariners were good when they should have been bad). They shored up on their big weakness at DH with Nelson Cruz, and got several outfielders to platoon. There's some depth for pitching in the minors with Elias available, as well as Danny Hultzen being a trump card if he turns out to be good. Overall, this is a team that will make a serious run at the AL West, if not the Wild Card. Hope springs eternal, so go loving Mariners. Get to the playoffs.
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 06:58
|
|
|
R.D. Mangles posted:You can also include the fun fact that Dozier scored a minor pop hit with the song "Take Me to Church," where you think it is about a church, but if you listen closely you can see that the church is actually a metaphor for loving someone.
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 10:30
|
|
|
seiferguy posted:Justin Smoak: We traded Cliff Lee for you, and you turned out to be so bad. Hey, but those seven times time he hit a home run last year and everyone went SMOAKED was pretty cool tho right?
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 13:44
|
|
|
I just don't understand your dislike of Willie.
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 15:09
|
|
|
seiferguy posted:GET READY FOR THE SEATTLE MARINERS HYPE TRAIN WOO seiferguy posted:Then rumors came out that the team was in on Robinson Cano - everyone wrote it off, until the M's bidded against themselves and Cano became a Mariner. seiferguy posted:Yoervis Medina: The weakest member of the bullpen, but his talent would make him closer for the Tigers. That's how good our bullpen is. http://m.mlb.com/video/v35206843/cwssea-medina-buckles-ramirez-on-nasty-curveball Drunk Tomato posted:I just don't understand your dislike of Willie. http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/b/bloomwi01.shtml (The hint is "every number on that page")
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 15:55
|
|
|
Drunk Tomato posted:I just don't understand your dislike of Willie. For a guy who's been in the league 13 years, he has a career WAR of 1.5. He's lovely at hitting, and at fielding. His only good attribute is base running (which probably sucks now since he's 37). Yet fans love the guy cause he's sort of a hometown hero. I'm just hoping he gets jettisoned the gently caress out when Chris Taylor comes off the DL.
|
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2015 17:06
|
|
|
Drunk Tomato posted:I just don't understand your dislike of Willie. If you had to hear Rick Rizzs call him WILLIE BOOM BOOM for like 7 years you'd hate his guts too
|
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2015 00:38
|
|
|
I started writing a interim rays preview while I await the Official One but there are so many new faces I just gave up. Who are you people?
|
|
#
?
Mar 31, 2015 04:57
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:32 |
|
|
 The Dodgers have money, and they're using it like it's going out of style. We have lingering PTSD from Frank McCourt and Magic knows it, so he's still taking us out to nice dinners and loving us tenderly. The Dodgers have had two stellar years in a row, and they're not taking anything for granted; they're heading into the regular season with a mere half of the 40-man roster left over from last October so we'll see how this goes I guess. THE FRONT OFFICE  Owners - Guggenheim Baseball Management We love you. Never change.  President - Andrew Friedman What the hell do these guys do, anyway? He's only the first of many many changes to the roster this year, and apparently he's getting $35m for 5 years, making him the highest-paid front office executive in baseball? Thanks, Wikipedia!  General Manager - Farhan Zaidi He read Moneyball while he was at Berkeley, fell in love with Billy Beane, and he got to live out his university wet dream by, uh, working for Billy Beane. As a statistician, for two years. Billy thinks he's great so he got the gig with the Dodgers this year and is mostly responsible for the changes in this year's lineup. If he's as good as Billy thinks he is, it should work out.  Manager - Don Mattingly He's had a surprisingly turbulent time behind the scenes given his good relationships with the players and extraordinary success on the field. He saw the Dodgers through winning records to close out the financially-troubled McCourt years, and he's on contract to remain in town through 2016. THE LINEUP  C - Yasmani Grandal (likely) LA forked Kemp and $32m over to the Padres for this guy so they're hoping he's good! Tore his ACL in 2013 but had a good 2014. He's got great potential (lifetime walk rate of 13.8%; nothing to sneeze at), but he'll be splitting the plate with Ellis this year (see below).  1B - Adrian Gonzalez Amazingly consistent and productive. Last year he got 27 dingers and drove more guys home than anybody else in the league (116).  2B - Howie Kendrick He'll do. He doesn't hit hard, but he's very consistent. My rant about Orange County and the Angels being poo poo goes here. Welcome to LA, Howie!  SS - Jimmy Rollins He's coming over from Philly, and he's going to look a bit odd in blue. Nevertheless, the Dodgers are very happy to have him. He's got a well-proven bat and great energy in the clubhouse, but with only one year left on his contract he may be non-committal.  3B - Juan Uribe  He's had a decent couple of years, so the Dodgers are basically looking to milk what's left of him before sending him off to the glue factory. Look for some fresh faces (see below) if his stats don't measure up.  "OBJECTION!" LF - Carl Crawford An esteemed part of the 2012/13 Red Sox hemorrhage, Crawford has been shaky over his time in LA with the triple threat of injuries, wobbly stats, and baby mama drama. He closed out 2014 looking as good as he ever has, though, so we're all hoping over here.  (R), with Alex Guerrero CF - Joc Pederson (likely) He killed it in AAA last year and posted an iffy September start, but come on dude he was called up in loving September. Prospects like this guy heavily justified the Kemp trade, so he might not contribute much to begin, but the kid's got great potential.    RF - Yasiel Puig He's still a growing boy, but he's being good and making sure to eat all his vegetables. At his best, Puig is a complete monster behind the plate and at this point in his career he's only going to get better. We like Puig. We like Puig a lot. See Also:  AJ Ellis He likes Kershaw, and Kershaw likes him, so we're bound to see him around even though he's getting on in years. The question is just how much plate time he'll be covering. (L), with Joc Pederson Alex Guerrero Fresh from Cuba, we'll be getting to know him better if Uribe falls back into a slump. He was a major contender for 2B until they snagged Kendrick.  Andre Ethier He's aging very, very poorly, but he's still good enough to see the plate and play the outfield from time to time as Pederson gets used to the bigs. THE STAFF  Clayton loving Kershaw 2014: 21-3 1.77 Career: 98-49 2.48 There is literally not a single loving thing I can tell you about Kershaw that you don't already know, so I'll spare myself the indignity.  Zack Greinke 2014: 17-8 2.71 Career: 123-90 3.55 What can I say? Former Cy Young winner, and look at those stats! He had a minor elbow issue earlier this spring (of course), so he'll be starting behind Kershaw even though he'd be seeing opening day if he played for a team with a less ridiculous pitching staff.  Brandon McCarthy 2014: 10-15 4.05 Career: 52-65 4.09 This guy is up and down and all around (literally! This is his fourth club in as many years). His pitching has been wildly inconsistent. The hope is clearly that he will fare better in Los Angeles but hey, we'll see.  Brett Anderson 2014: statistically insignificant Career: 27-32 3.73 Another offseason acquisition. Did we really need another injury-prone leftie? (see below) If he can stay off of that goddamn Tommy John train he'll be a great addition to the lineup.  Katie Perry is just so...empowering. Hyun-Jin Ryu 2014: 14-7 3.38 Career: 28-15 3.17 The Dodgers got that guy you just read about, so Ryu and his shoulder are under less pressure. Still, if he's healthy he'll likely be showing his face on the mound this year because when he's good he's solid.  Closer - Kenley Jansen He had offseason foot surgery, but he was absolutely dominant last year, with 44 saves and 101 strikeouts. He'll get it done. THE BULLPEN This is an ongoing battle; we have a lot of decent-to-good guys going for not-that-many slots. With two expensive guys on the DL in Kenley Janson and Brandon League, your guess is probably better than mine. Anyway, here's a stab at how we're looking to begin the season, in descending order of certainty: Jose Peralta JP Howell Chris Hatcher Why?: No more options Juan Nicasio Why?: No more options Why not?: He's been very up-and-down in spring training Dustin McGowan Why?: He's decent Why not?: They have him on league minimum at the moment and he gets $1m if he makes the roster, so if there's doubt there's monetary incentive to leave him off The rest? Hell if I know. Sergio Santos is looking healthy and returning to form from his former life closing for the White Sox. David Huff has both decent stamina and decent ball control. Of those with options, Paco Rodriguez lost it at the end of 2013 and hasn't really gotten it back since (but there's still hope), and Pedro Baez was decent enough in the majors last year. DISCLAIMER! I'm probably a bit unfamiliar to most of you, and as you can see from my highly-questionable-to-incorrect opinions, there's good reason for that. Mostly, I'm just hoping to make another Dodgers fan angry enough to draw up a better one of these.
|
|
#
?
Mar 31, 2015 05:59
|
|
