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Hopefully his job doesnt involve safeguarding the lives of innocent people
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Apr 1, 2015 04:08
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the great deceiver posted:I once had a co-worker who went to rehab for being a drunk and when he got back we threw a little party for him with a cheap sheet cake from Grocery Mart Bargain Outlet that said "Welcome Back Larry!" You should have rented a margarita machine.
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Apr 1, 2015 04:08
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the great deceiver posted:I once had a co-worker who went to rehab for being a drunk and when he got back we threw a little party for him with a cheap sheet cake from Grocery Mart Bargain Outlet that said "Welcome Back Larry!" Larry's life sounds cool. Pretty fuckkng ace of his employer to send him to rehab in this day and age.
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Apr 1, 2015 04:09
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Foid One posted:Fck off mate! Oh like you want to step over homeless people walking out your front door or have to be careful not to run one over when you are valeting your car? Homeless people can be so inconsiderate.
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Apr 1, 2015 04:10
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Jastiger posted:He claims he makes something like $300 either a night or a weekend. Which isn't bad but.....he works a full time job and does this from 10 pm to 3 am. That's super late to make $300 extra bucks. Well if it's a night that's a cool 600 a weekend I guess OP. Then again gas is a pretty penny. not to mention the riding around with passengers and having them sue you or something! I guess you have to weigh the risks and the rewards, OP.
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Apr 1, 2015 04:12
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Slipknot Hoagie posted:Hopefully his job doesnt involve safeguarding the lives of innocent people Larry and I both worked at a homeless shelter making sure homeless people didn't get in fights and kill each other all day, it was the perfect job for him to show up drunk to. God knows I showed up blacked out on xanax at least twice a week but they didn't throw me a party they just fired me.
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Apr 1, 2015 04:19
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Three Olives posted:That isn't my building, I have a 24/7 attended lobby, I assume a valet or someone would chase off a homeless person trying to hang out under our porte-cochère. nnnnnnngggggggggg I am cumming.
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Apr 1, 2015 14:09
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When I first started in The Corporate World, I attended a 40 Years of Service party for a coworker on a Thursday. He had a heart attack and died on that Saturday. Forty loving years. I wonder if, when he was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling as his heart ground to a halt, if he thought "Yes, that forty years spent in a cubicle was a good use of my time."
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Apr 1, 2015 14:14
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good life story op. i tried to care but couldnt
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Apr 1, 2015 14:23
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Zahgaegun posted:Forty loving years. I wonder if, when he was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling as his heart ground to a halt, if he thought "Yes, that forty years spent in a cubicle was a good use of my time." People say this kind of poo poo all the time, sometimes after gloating about their outward bound excursion where they carried toilet paper in a tupperware for a week, sometimes when defending their parasitic unemployed drifter lifestyles, sometimes just when sharing meaningless image macros to convey their co-opted pseudo-individuality on Facebook. And yeah obviously no one goes to their grave wishing they had spent more time working a boring job for some rich fucker with a place in the Hamptons. But what are you going to do? 7 billion poor fucks on this big dirty planet, at least 2/3 of whom would fight to the death on a dystopian future gameshow for the chance to sit in a drat cubicle. This ecosystem, economic and otherwise, can't support a population exclusively of ski instructors and scuba archaeologists as much as we may romanticise any life but our own. So you do what everyone else does. Take your meagre holidays and weekends and enjoy a slightly more expensive bottle of wine or a new restaurant, a sunny week on a beach somewhere, a ski trip highlight rather than lifestyle, a new couch and TV. Enjoy the relative freedom and wealth that a life in a cubicle affords over foraging for junk electronics in Agbogbloshie while your children inhale mercury fumes and fend off stray dogs for scraps. Existential malaise and navel-gazing is a western luxury, a grass is always greener fallacy in which we somehow ignore the fact that the alternative to our post-modern ailments are literal ailments, losing your teeth and contracting dysentery and dying in a ditch somewhere after having never traveled farther than 20 miles from your cottage, never having eaten anything but what was available on land you STILL didn't own. Life was never better and probably never will be better, beyond incremental increases in creature comforts and more entertaining distractions.
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Apr 1, 2015 18:09
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only people who hate uber are people with no friends , who never take a cab for any social reason at all ever, and dont know anything about nothing. sorry uber rocks
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Apr 1, 2015 18:17
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Artificial Idiocy posted:People say this kind of poo poo all the time, sometimes after gloating about their outward bound excursion where they carried toilet paper in a tupperware for a week, sometimes when defending their parasitic unemployed drifter lifestyles, sometimes just when sharing meaningless image macros to convey their co-opted pseudo-individuality on Facebook. thank you for this
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Apr 1, 2015 18:37
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Artificial Idiocy posted:People say this kind of poo poo all the time, sometimes after gloating about their outward bound excursion where they carried toilet paper in a tupperware for a week, sometimes when defending their parasitic unemployed drifter lifestyles, sometimes just when sharing meaningless image macros to convey their co-opted pseudo-individuality on Facebook. whoa thats deep man. and well written
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Apr 1, 2015 18:45
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Three Olives posted:To be fair noisy kids are the loving worst, I wish we could ban them from my building. my window faces the pool of the apt complex on the other side of the ally and lil bastards are always out there splashing and carrying on and making a ruckus and I legit wish we could ban kids from their building. my building is fine though.
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Apr 1, 2015 19:13
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my goal in life is to work in a cubicle and the hopefully maybe a modest corner office before i die because thats the best thing that could happen to me, in terms of human history in general
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Apr 1, 2015 19:16
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if you have an office with a door nothing else matters
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Apr 1, 2015 19:23
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Artificial Idiocy posted:People say Needs more Darfur war orphans
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Apr 1, 2015 19:23
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Volume posted:A few months ago he was talking about how his wife was leaving him for another dude and taking his kids. then a month or so ago he was talking about how his apartment building wouldn't renew his lease cause his kids were too loud so they needed to find another place but they couldn't find any. Then they fired him last week. no job no hope no cash
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Apr 1, 2015 19:27
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CrashCat posted:Needs more Darfur war orphans I figured e-waste scrap pickers were a moderate compromise.
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Apr 1, 2015 19:55
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ArmZ posted:if you have an office with a door nothing else matters Got it. Should find a bag to kill me with now?
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Apr 2, 2015 03:04
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Harald posted:50 year old woman won't talk to anyone cause she's having a bad day, just says "gently caress you" to everyone. somehow she hasn't gotten fired (because no one wants her lovely job lol). We have the same one! Hates if she's asked to do something because it's stupid Hates if she's not asked to do something because it's disrespectful Passive-aggressively deletes unread email when mad (always), then complains no one tells her anything Puts her big melanoma boobs on display through use of very loosely knit sweaters with nothing under now that she's been told to go easy on the low neck shirts Looks like an orange party witch
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Apr 2, 2015 04:10
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Van Full of Sponges posted:We have the same one! I've heard of a lemon party but what's an orange party?
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Apr 2, 2015 04:17
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the great deceiver posted:I once had a co-worker who went to rehab for being a drunk and when he got back we threw a little party for him with a cheap sheet cake from Grocery Mart Bargain Outlet that said "Welcome Back Larry!" should've gotten a rumcake
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Apr 2, 2015 04:18
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der_frawd posted:I've heard of a lemon party but what's an orange party? Same but with a bunch of tan mom clones
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Apr 2, 2015 04:22
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fucken larry. the name alone dooms you to a life of being a shiftless rear end in a top hat
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Apr 2, 2015 04:22
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Regardless you and him both will take the big dirt nap soon enough Life is meaningless What im trying to say is kill me then yourself op
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Apr 2, 2015 04:24
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Artificial Idiocy posted:People say this kind of poo poo all the time, sometimes after gloating about their outward bound excursion where they carried toilet paper in a tupperware for a week, sometimes when defending their parasitic unemployed drifter lifestyles, sometimes just when sharing meaningless image macros to convey their co-opted pseudo-individuality on Facebook. So when everyone else tries to convince me that suicide isn't the answer, are they just crabs in a bucket?
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Apr 2, 2015 04:25
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Put that loving trust-fund hipster in his place. Doin' the lord's work, son.
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Apr 2, 2015 04:35
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Artificial Idiocy posted:People say this kind of poo poo all the time, sometimes after gloating about their outward bound excursion where they carried toilet paper in a tupperware for a week, sometimes when defending their parasitic unemployed drifter lifestyles, sometimes just when sharing meaningless image macros to convey their co-opted pseudo-individuality on Facebook. A good post. Don't worry though, the way America and the rest of the West are going, most people aren't going to have those cubical job "problems" anymore, and can get back to the time honored subsistence poo poo you highlight above.
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Apr 2, 2015 04:46
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1gnoirents posted:only people who hate uber are people with no friends , who never take a cab for any social reason at all ever, and dont know anything about nothing. it's a transportation genie which may or may not smash your face in with a hammer.
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Apr 2, 2015 04:52
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Harald posted:All my co-workers are miserable and need to take it out on me. lol if u think this isn't all baby boomers
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Apr 2, 2015 04:58
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Artificial Idiocy posted:People say this kind of poo poo all the time, sometimes after gloating about their outward bound excursion where they carried toilet paper in a tupperware for a week, sometimes when defending their parasitic unemployed drifter lifestyles, sometimes just when sharing meaningless image macros to convey their co-opted pseudo-individuality on Facebook. How many cat pictures are you allowed to have in your cubicle?
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Apr 2, 2015 05:39
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lol indeed
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Apr 2, 2015 07:05
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Some of my coworkers dont understand our products, like at all, after 5+ years of selling them somehow. Doesnt matter tho cause its only insurance.
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Apr 2, 2015 08:08
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Volume posted:A few months ago he was talking about how his wife was leaving him for another dude and taking his kids. then a month or so ago he was talking about how his apartment building wouldn't renew his lease cause his kids were too loud so they needed to find another place but they couldn't find any. Then they fired him last week. Having kids just seems like a really stupid idea.
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Apr 2, 2015 08:10
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A former co-worker had a heart attack at work but decided to hide because he was also drunk and thought if they took him to the health station (the plant has its own doctor and nurses) they'd test his blood alcohol level. He was all blue when someone accidentally found him. Welp that's my blue co-worker story hope you enjoyed it.
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Apr 2, 2015 09:54
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Three Olives posted:To be fair noisy kids are the loving worst, I wish we could ban them from my building. there's a single mom and her two kids and they all loving stomp down the stairs which is inside and echoes so gently caress this family, I agree with you like 1000000% ban children from condos
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Apr 2, 2015 10:11
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Chichevache posted:So when everyone else tries to convince me that suicide isn't the answer, are they just crabs in a bucket? The ones who really want you to stay alive and keep working are the bucket. ryonguy posted:How many cat pictures are you allowed to have in your cubicle? Ideally infinite cats. But I work in a trendy branding agency with an open-concept office and free booze which, in principle, sounds psychologically healthier, but in reality just allows bosses to have access to and monitor you more easily, without even the minimal privacy of a cubicle. And without that privacy, you become the product of a group environment, a product of interaction and social forces and normative processes. I can't even pick my nose in peace! Man is only truly himself when alone. Frog Act posted:my goal in life is to work in a cubicle and the hopefully maybe a modest corner office before i die because thats the best thing that could happen to me, in terms of human history in general Well the alternative would be to have a strong work ethic, drive and ambition, talent, and a unique or valuable skill set that lets you reasonable aspire to more than other people. Which is, despite socialist ethical objections, a good place to be. Or the luck of inheritance I guess. Artificial Idiocy fucked around with this message at 10:23 on Apr 2, 2015 |
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Apr 2, 2015 10:20
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It's mostly the luck of inheritance.
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Apr 2, 2015 10:28
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my plan in life is to remain voluntarily celibate and work long hours until I die, saving every penny I can. I will leave all my money to the cat's trust
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Apr 2, 2015 10:29
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