|
 They plunder, they slaughter, and they steal: this they name Empire, and where they make a wasteland, they call it peace. - Calgacus Eve Online - Join Goons in The Imperium Throughout this forum you will find recruitment posts asking you to join Goons in one game or another: they sell you the chance to join the good guys and to struggle pluckily against the pubbie hordes, however small your chances of success and no matter how likely it is that in a month or two that group will fall apart. Not Goonswarm. We offer you the chance to join Goons in a place where we hold power over all others. In Eve Online, we are the unquestioned, dominant imperial power and hold sway over the whole game. Over the space of a decade – a timeframe unimaginable in any other game – we have gone from being tiny, mocked and despised to asserting our authority over the game. Our group of allies was originally called the CFC – The Clusterfuck Coalition – as we seemingly stumbled from success to unlikely success. But now we are a grimly efficient, monolithic and unassailable death machine at the heart of a bloc we named the Imperium. Whether that Empire is that of Rome, Warhammer or the Second Foundation depends on the context, but the fact is that nobody in gaming has ever dominated a game as we have. Each time the barbarians have assembled a coalition upon our borders, we have broken their power and sent them scrambling back in to the wilderness. This time, we drove them out of a dozen regions and left them barren. We made a wasteland and we called it peace. And this is your chance to join us.  What is Eve Online? … neither good nor evil, but only a place for good and evil. - Aurelius First of all, watch this video. Seriously trust me, it's worth it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdfFnTt2UT0 That's Eve. That's real players playing the game, recorded during actual fights. How could that not be fun? Eve Online is a beautiful, dark, vicious game that will give you fun and break your heart like nothing else in the business of gaming. You play an immortal pilot flying ships that range from the size of an F-22 to great dreadnoughts and titans, scores of miles long and possessed of incredible weaponry. A PvP game, nobody is entirely safe from you and your friends from the moment they undock their ship from a space station until the time they log off. Everything about Eve is incredible in size and in scope: the wars last for years and involve scores of thousands of people. Hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of virtual possessions can be lost in a single fight. Newspapers like the New York Times and television stations like the BBC cover what we do and report on our victories. If the mods of this sub-forum were cheerful, open-handed and honest souls whose dedication to truth and justice matched their love of persecuting people for inadequate grammar, then the MMO HMO would have precisely one recruitment thread in it, and that thread would be this one. Beside Eve Online, there are no massively multiplayer online games. There are several “quite a few player online games” and even “millions of players but split up over hundreds of servers” games but if you are in the market for a fight where a thousand of you fight a thousand of your enemies, then you just found it: Eve Online is that game. Why Play Eve? It never troubles the wolf that there are many sheep – Virgil Eve is more than just a spaceship simulator. Eve Online is a rich, deep, dark simulation of a Science Fiction universe. Playing Eve in Goonswarm you can fight, yes. You can fight in vast armadas that can blot out the sun or in small, fast gangs that raid and inflict misery upon your hapless enemies. You can fight as terrorists, hitting innocents and the hapless in high security space where they imagine themselves to be completely save. You can fight behind enemy lines as part of the Reavers or in Black Ops. Or you can work with others to keep the space-lanes of the Imperium clear of pirates and raiders. But there are so many more things to do in Eve Online. There are dozens of professions: an ecosystem richer and deeper than in any other game currently available. You can be a trader, an investor or an arbitrageur. You can mine from moons, asteroids or gas clouds and you can do so in lawless nullsec or the dark isolation of Wormhole space. You can haul much-needed supplies to the front line, manage an import-export empire than satisfies the needs of hundreds of our Imperial citizens, or manage your own, commercial empire of space stations, each working around the clock to produce goods and wealth for you. You can even manage planetary mining installations and factories, manufacturing the tools and materials that you might, instead, choose to use to build spacecraft or even giant space stations. We live in the wealthiest systems in the wealthiest region of the game, as befits the Imperial masters of the game. You will not want for money, nor for friends.  New Players: Why Join Goonswarm? Although the power is lacking, the will is commendable - Ovid Goonswarm is the best way into the game of Eve Online. We value our new players, and that has earned us an Empire. We have a team of people devoted to making it easy to learn the game and have fun. We have an entire corporation that specialises in entertaining new members. We are as rich as Croesus and as organised as a group of particularly cliched Prussians who've just noticed Poland doesn't have any tanks. We have some of the best fleet commanders in the game who will take you out, scores, hundreds or even a thousand at a time, to fight our enemies. We have an organised group in empire space who will show you how to commit acts of science fiction terrorism upon the unsuspecting. We have people who deploy deep behind enemy lines to disrupt their communications and sow chaos where they thought they were safe. Join Goonswarm in Eve and you can do all this: within a day or so of starting to play you can have a character that can help destroy some hapless soul’s pride and joy. And the alliance will pay for you to do so, replacing your ships and rewarding you for your efforts. And you can try it for free for at least two weeks. Unlike in most MMOs, there need be no grind for a Goonswarm member in Eve Online. Veterans: Why Come Back to Eve? Experience is the teacher of all things – Caesar Perhaps you have played Eve in the past and drifted away because fights became too rare, politics were too static, or shooting structures lost its inimitable charm. Everything is changing with the new sovereignty system that replaces the multi-million hit point structures of Dominion. Sovereignty will be decided by who wins fights in a capture-the-flag style mechanic, and there will be no sovereignty structures to shoot. The system could have been designed specifically for goons. We are going to have some amazing fun with it in the coming months, and it should get rid of a lot of the waiting around that sov warfare in Eve can involve. In the dying months of the old system, our enemies threw the dice one last time and attempted an invasion of Fountain. We won. Then we invaded Delve and hired Pandemic Legion to hit their allies. Within days, the entire hostile bloc dissolved beneath the remorseless, stamping tread of our legions. Now we are withdrawing from the South West and opening up space to others to live in. Our new neighbours to the south shall be Brave Newbies: there is no more enjoyable group in Eve better to have on your borders, nor is there one more guaranteed to provide a roaming gang with fights. Eve is in flux, we remain dominant, and our neighbours are enjoyable to fight: it is time to come back, Goon.  "I Tried Eve Before: It Was Too Hard…" It is not easy for men to rise whose qualities are thwarted by poverty – Juvenal The old, horrible tutorial in eve has been expunged, replaced by a system called "Opportunities" which lets you learn aspects of the game whenever you want to. gone are the days when, baffled, you roamed Eve looking for a ship to kill that you lost track of hours ago. Things are smoother, comprehensible and far better explained. And you probably didn't try to play with us in Goonswarm, in any case: we fund you, teach you, nurture you then unleash you. Let the despicable, pubbie homunculi struggle and fail to play alone. As a Goon, you are a freeborn citizen of the Empire and can claim all the privileges thereof. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVjdQEh3go0 How to Join Goons And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed – Luke 2:1 The instructions on how to join Goonwaffe can be found here: https://wiki.goonfleet.com/Joining_GoonWaffe_101 Yes, they are a little complicated, but the Imperial bureaucracy grinds exceeding fine. DO NOT JUST APPLY TO ANY GOONSWARM CORP WITHOUT FOLLOWING THESE INSTRUCTIONS OR YOU WILL BE SCAMMED, BANNED OR AT BEST REJECTED. Just be sure to remember:
If anyone asks you for a security deposit to join Goonswarm or any other corporation in the alliance, you are being scammed.
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:00
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:14 |
|
|
FAQ Whoah all that winning and big fleets and stuff sounds like, well, pressure man... Introducing...  The Greater Goon: Retards Welcome A Brief History Are you really stupid and also hate people telling you what to do all the time? Do you like picking on the smallest kid at the pool to compensate for the fact that your dad hates you and your girlfriend cheats on you? Do you like haunted houses? Then follow the path of poverty to Syndicate, spiritual home of the mystic Groon, for whom the psychic auras of more than a dozen people in fleet at once are confusing and befuddling. The aforementioned video will tell you all of what you need to know. No sov bullshit, just fly around in small gangs, explode space ships and get high on teamspeak. No one expects more of you than that, because we all know deep down that you'd just disappoint us. How to Join the Juggernot Puskarich is the official contact. The Groon public channel is groonhelp. Ok, I'm not a J4G, I want into Goonwaffe. Now what? Go read this helpful wiki entry, and it will guide you through the steps to join! Are you Vacationed and want to come back to GoonWaffe?? (This means your forum group says Vacationer on GF.com) First you need to do the following: -Go to https://auth.goonfleet.com/manage and update your API key with an active API After that do this: -Email newbies@goonfleet.com with the subject line Please Un-Vacation Me! -Include your goonfleet forum account name as well as your SomethingAwful account name in the email -Feel free to post in this thread, however it is optional and email will get a quicker response. -DO NOT APPLY IN GAME UNTIL YOU RECEIVE A RESPONSE VIA EMAIL I REPEAT:   Against All The Odds I'm In Now What? Yet again, there is a wiki page full of helpful advice. Key amongst these is to follow the advice on how to crack Eve's unwillingness to let you talk to others and open the GS_Help channel. Any Other Advice? Don't be a solipsist: let Goons help you. Don't try and work it out alone. Most especially, get someone to help you get into a fight: a fleet fight or a suicide gank or just about anything. Get some kills and you'll find it hard to stop. I'm having trouble with the registration process! CCP changed the API interface with the addition of 'vCodes' and this may reveal some bugs in our registration process. If you are having problems email newbies@goonfleet.com with a detailed description of who the gently caress you are (goonfleet Username, SA username) and what the problem is. I am a J4G and signed up for the Somewhat Awfully subreddit this morning in order to fulfil my lifelong dream of ratting with Goonies in Deklein. Now you say I have to wait, which my autism will not let me do. What alternatives are there? If you want to join the alliance but do not meet the requirements to join Goonwaffe then there are several alternatives: • Karmafleet accepts everyone, at least for several minutes until Goons find out that they have accepted Xenuria or Daley again. Several corporations exist for language groups in the alliance: Kriegsmarinewerft for Germans, ICE is Coming to Eve and Kernel of War are French, RGSU and Monkey Attack Squad are Russian and whatever language Widot speak it is certainly not English. Most corps, like my own Bat Country, will simply scam you if you just apply out of the blue to join them. Always contact their leadership first. • If, despite this advice, you still end up being scammed, you are clearly too dumb to be a member anyway. That OP was too long and self-indulgent. Where do I get the client? You can download the client here: https://community.eveonline.com/support/download/  Is there a minimum skill points or character age requirement? There certainly is not. Goonswarm was built on the power of the Day Zero newbie. Endie fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Mar 7, 2016 |
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:00
|
|
|
Eve is a terrible game and you should play it anyway.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:00
|
|
|
rafikki posted:Eve is a terrible game and you should play it anyway.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:02
|
|
|
rafikki posted:Eve is a terrible game and you should play it anyway. Not empty quoting
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:03
|
|
|
RIP my thread, it was legendary, but too good for this world. Bow down to your Imperium overlords.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:03
|
|
|
Another year, another new thread. Has there been any sort of announcement for when we will see the last two t3 destroyers hit the testing server?
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:03
|
|
|
Eve made me the man I am today. I'm not proud of it but goddamn those tears are delicious.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:03
|
|
|
rafikki posted:Eve is a terrible game and you should play it anyway. EVE is a terrible and that's exactly why you should play it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that, and it'll certainly put a perspective on all other things MMO-related. 
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:03
|
|
|
I don't log in to SA for just anyone but Endie is a good poster and you should do what he says and play EVE Online.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:03
|
|
|
Deofuta posted:Another year, another new thread. Has there been any sort of announcement for when we will see the last two t3 destroyers hit the testing server? Caldari is coming. Models are out so next big patch right?
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:04
|
|
|
If you are going to play any terrible game it should be Eve Online: A Terrible Spaceship Game
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:05
|
|
|
This is a bad game for bad people; which is why we have it by the balls. Join the swarm; make pubbies squeal.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:05
|
|
|
In my time playing Eve, I have talked with many other players about their experiences as a newbie. Pubbies spend their time alone, grinding missions, mining, and generally not knowing what the heck is going on. As a member of Goonwaffe, I was showered with tackling ships, money, and always looked after by veteran players. I had access to pre-made skill plans, ship configurations, and years worth of game knowledge. While some other groups treat new players as meat-shields, Goonwaffe embraces new players and helps them to succeed. New players are the lifeblood of the swarm. As a Goon, you are the space-elite. We live in the richest space in the galaxy, and our actions shape the game in ways others can only dream. Join Goonwaffe today!
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:06
|
|
|
Eve may be a terrible game, but at least the upgrades are free. Join the winning team scrubs.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:08
|
|
|
darth cookie posted:This is a bad game for bad people; which is why we have it by the balls. Join the swarm; make pubbies squeal. terribles are great at this game, 90% social, 10% afk ratting
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:08
|
|
|
Definitely play eve. It's where we poop in and out of other peoples' buttes.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:08
|
|
|
forever. Back and forth.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:09
|
|
|
If you are considering playing EVE Online, then you should definitely do it with goons. At the casual level, our ruthlessly efficient space government ensures that you can just log in and do whatever it is you want to do—and there are groups for pretty much any activity, from grinding for space gold in our home space to infiltrating enemy alliances, to blowing up clueless pubbies in high security space, and everything in between. At the less casual level, there are all sorts of opportunities for those of you who love to poopsock and/or who can develop useful skills. As a personal anecdote, I went from just a clueless guy drunkenly yelling at my fellows in the cheapest ships in the game to being in the Sky Team over the course of about six months due to my tendency to grind so much that it makes the average Korean MMO player look sane; and, one of the guys who joined this game later than me, and whom I left stranded scouting for me in the rear end-end of nowhere while on one of the aforementioned drunken roams, is now our Sky Marshal. Our benevolent space tyrant actively looks for people with new and good ideas, and the average goon in space enjoys the best quality of life in the game. But most importantly, we love the everliving gently caress out of newbies. Free poo poo is showered on you, people are happy and eager to help you out, and unlike most games your character age has pretty much no factor in what you as a player can do.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:09
|
|
|
hello first page EVE is a good bad game
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:09
|
|
|
As a brand new member of the swarm eager to commit space terrorism in high security space where enemies thought themselves safe; i was given skill plans, free ships, a working comms server and an experienced fleet commander. In one day we killed more valuable ships than I have ever seen. 10/10 would EVE again and you should too.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:12
|
|
|
hello first page Maybe by the time the 2016 thread comes around killboard.goonfleet.com will work again Maybe by that time I'll resub 
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:12
|
|
|
There's almost nothing you can't do in this game. Your only limits are your cleverness, imagination and (lack of) conscience. Also, this is a pretty good time to join. We're winding down from one campaign and gearing up for a lot of just-for-us fun stuff. If you've ever played Eve before, but didn't play with us, you truly don't know what you're missing. Come find out. Also, just throwing this out there, but Eve allows veterans to earn PLEX by getting new players to subscribe through a Buddy Program. A PLEX is an in-game item that can be purchased from CCP for real money and then converted into 30 days of game time or sold on the market. The current market value of a PLEX is 870ish million ISK, which is a fortune for a new player. I say this because my link is here https://secure.eveonline.com/trial/?invc=b5ff2052-5386-4311-9d76-93ed53195fa1&action=buddy and if I get a PLEX because you subscribed, I'll give it to you to sell or use as you see fit. My in-game name is Devilish Ledoux and may I be branded an evil goonfucker and purged if I don't come through. TL;DR: play Eve. If you use my link to get your 30 day trial and then subscribe, I'll make you spacerich right out the gate.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:13
|
|
|
Eve is game where you can choose which level of conflict you want to take part in: strategic, operational, or tactical. Whichever level you choose (or if it is chosen for you), understanding the environment (like in real life) will give you a leg up on the competition. Eve is also: Psychopath simulator. (said so on steam)
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:15
|
|
|
Hi! My name is CainFortea and I'd like to take a moment in this thread made by Good Poster Endie to tell you about when I joined Goonswarm. I joined back in 2006, when it was just Goonfleet. Since then I've noticed that my hair is thicker, I got a promotion at work, and I'm more able to satisfy my partner. You may think this isn't a game for you, but you would be surprised at how easy it is to try it out! Thank you for your time.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:20
|
|
|
EVE is terrible game that you should play. Can we talk about sauces here?
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:22
|
|
|
Luigi Thirty posted:hello first page Luigi come play in wormholes with hole squad please, we've got the vast majority of old USTZ SV in there, it's like good old times in syndicate.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:23
|
|
|
Can people talk some more about how well the new sov system works and not just the bullet-point features? It looks super-interesting and a million times better than old sov but I've been fooled by this game before!
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:28
|
|
|
I cannot wait for the J4G flood to arrive. Btw, you should really play this game, it's worth
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:29
|
|
:I'd like to borrow $200M
|
I'll also note that playing with goons is super fun because with us you can play however the hell you want. We have the power, numbers and clout to make sure that no matter your desire, if the game code allows it, you can do it. Do you want to be one of the line infantry, shield-locked in formation, following orders from your commander and shattering enemies with your fellow legionnaires? You can do that. Do you want to be a covert operator, sneaking around behind enemy lines and striking at targets of opportunity, leaving naught but wrecks and tears in your wake? You can do that. (join topgoon  )Do you want to be a market baron, never firing a shot yet fueling the war effort all the same while making piles of  -gold? You can do that.Do you just want to gently caress about, chatting in jabber/talking on mumble with chill people while smoking/drinking/drugging yourself into catatonia? You can do that. EVE is a good game, not because of the game itself (which is already good and getting better monthly), but because of the people you play with. No matter your preference, in a coalition of ~40,000 people there's going to be a group who like the same thing and will help you in achieving that
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:29
|
|
|
Pierson posted:Can people talk some more about how well the new sov system works and not just the bullet-point features? It looks super-interesting and a million times better than old sov but I've been fooled by this game before! Not really since it hasn't actually been implemented yet and we don't know how it's going to play out. Nobody is really sure if it's going to revitalize the space-game of thrones or if its going to be some hilariously bad whack-a-mole type situation.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:31
|
|
|
rafikki posted:Eve is a terrible game and you should play it anyway. This is a true statement.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:32
|
|
|
Pierson posted:Can people talk some more about how well the new sov system works and not just the bullet-point features? It looks super-interesting and a million times better than old sov but I've been fooled by this game before! New sov system isn't out yet, so we can't comment on how good/bad/otherwise it is. Here is the relevant devblog. It's sorta huge but it should have everything you need to know in it.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:32
|
|
|
Groon snub detected 
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:33
|
|
|
rafikki posted:Eve is a terrible game and you should play it anyway. I felt a disturbance in the Force that made me break free of my lurking, like someone subtly but not-so-subtly called my name. Beffah fucked around with this message at 15:51 on May 7, 2015 |
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:34
|
|
|
I've been playing for about a month with Theta Squad and it's crazy fun. The New Bee system is top notch and the only thing I can recommend is never stop asking stupid questions and come hang out with us on Mumble. It'll make your introduction to the game a hundred times better.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:35
|
|
|
darth cookie posted:Not really since it hasn't actually been implemented yet and we don't know how it's going to play out. Nobody is really sure if it's going to revitalize the space-game of thrones or if its going to be some hilariously bad whack-a-mole type situation. Safe bet will be option two. Which is good for us, politically. Until and unless CCP starts increasing Nullsec income or decreasing the higher highsec incomes, there's still no reason to live in 90% of the space that we don't own.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:35
|
|
|
ChickenWing posted:New sov system isn't out yet, so we can't comment on how good/bad/otherwise it is. Here is the relevant devblog. It's sorta huge but it should have everything you need to know in it. 
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:38
|
|
|
orange juche posted:Luigi come play in wormholes with hole squad please, we've got the vast majority of old USTZ SV in there, it's like good old times in syndicate. Does one still need to be in some alt corp to play with hole squad? Also, newly resubbed after a year out, have zero clue about these 40k references because I'm old, but EVE is fun game to play with goons. Yeah, it's too much work, but it's tough to stay away. vyst posted:RIP my thread, it was legendary, but too good for this world. Bow down to your Imperium overlords. RIP Vyst's thread. fake edit: hello first page.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:40
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:14 |
|
|
darth cookie posted:Not really since it hasn't actually been implemented yet and we don't know how it's going to play out. Nobody is really sure if it's going to revitalize the space-game of thrones or if its going to be some hilariously bad whack-a-mole type situation. However, you can rest assured that our crack team of space psychos will ensure that new sov system will work out far better for us than for our enemies (read: everyone who isn't our friend). While the details are still incoming, it seems that we're already doing the sorts of things CCP wants alliances to do to hold onto their space: living in it and using it instead of just planting a flag and only showing up if someone pisses on it. And whatever the new system is, it'll still be 1000 times better than POS spamming.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 14:41
|
|