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Jerry Mumphrey posted:-get a magnet and tune it so it only attracts bear hair (get a scientist for this step) holy poo poo thats frikken awesome but i dont think i could afford it plus that sounds like a lot of math and science my resources: 1. bulldozer 2. 6 pack of miller lite (16oz cans) 3. some camping stuff need: bear protection suit name for project way to get 50-100 bears into a "killzone"
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May 19, 2015 16:21
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 04:20 |
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dad gay. so what posted:holy poo poo thats frikken awesome but i dont think i could afford it plus that sounds like a lot of math and science sry didn't know you were on a budget i'll try to think of something else
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May 19, 2015 16:24
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dad gay. so what posted:holy poo poo thats frikken awesome but i dont think i could afford it plus that sounds like a lot of math and science i think his plan could work, you just need to find some scientists who will work for a 6 pack, or use the bulldozer to get more 6 packs and pay more scientists you already have a place for them to sleep it off (camping supplies)
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May 19, 2015 16:27
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Project Bearmageddon 2015: The Bear Up There
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May 19, 2015 16:29
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satanic splash-back posted:i think his plan could work, you just need to find some scientists who will work for a 6 pack, or use the bulldozer to get more 6 packs and pay more scientists hmm maybe, i dont know any scientists though, but from what i know about them they are not big on causing the mass extinction of an entire species, woops ive said too much
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May 19, 2015 16:30
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i wonder if that scientist from half life is real? the test chamber guy?? hmmm 
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May 19, 2015 16:31
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Ugh, look at all these loving plebs with their stupid advice, ugh The answer is get a bear a suit and find some female bear pheromones and pretend to be in heat (you have to sell it though, really slut it up in that bear suit). some risk involved, but definitely worth it as far as luring 50-100 bears. HTH
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May 19, 2015 16:35
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have you tried cragislist? you can find like anything on there, just put out an ad for a vaguely unethical scientist actually that gives me a better idea, why don't you make a craigslist post telling every bear in the area to come to a particular clearing where there will be honey and salmon and picnic baskets? if cartoons taught me anything (and they did, they even taught me how to tie my shoes) then bears love picnic baskets and honey. i doubt bears could resist a no-cover party like that, and im sure everybody uses craigslist, even bears
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May 19, 2015 16:36
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Have u tried to destroy their habitat?
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May 19, 2015 16:39
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Kuato posted:Ugh, look at all these loving plebs with their stupid advice, ugh hmm maybe? thats a lot of frikken bears though. im not sure how familiar you are with the species but they are fairly solitary and male bears have territories that can be like 10-50 square miles. so lets say i get one to follow me every 10 miles (best case scenario) i would have to cover over 1000 square miles in a heavy bear suit in mountainous forested terrain and end up in the kill zone with all of them folloqwing me (not losing any along the way) so as you can see that is probabaly not very realistic, thanks though
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May 19, 2015 16:40
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dad gay. so what posted:hmm maybe? thats a lot of frikken bears though. im not sure how familiar you are with the species but they are fairly solitary and male bears have territories that can be like 10-50 square miles. so lets say i get one to follow me every 10 miles (best case scenario) i would have to cover over 1000 square miles in a heavy bear suit in mountainous forested terrain and end up in the kill zone with all of them folloqwing me (not losing any along the way) Ugh, I just said there was some risk involved, and clearly a lot of legwork. At least try it before dismissing the idea, I might try it myself just to prove it'll work.
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May 19, 2015 16:44
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i think i will built some sort of maypole like device in the kill zone but instead of ribbons it will be heavy guage chain with large barbed hooks all over it and it will be mechanized with a 500hp vertical shaft electric motor to spin like a big weedwhacker. i will push the bears into this somehow if i can get them all there added to needs list: 500hp vertical shaft motor
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May 19, 2015 16:44
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dad gay. so what posted:hmm maybe? thats a lot of frikken bears though. im not sure how familiar you are with the species but they are fairly solitary and male bears have territories that can be like 10-50 square miles. so lets say i get one to follow me every 10 miles (best case scenario) i would have to cover over 1000 square miles in a heavy bear suit in mountainous forested terrain and end up in the kill zone with all of them folloqwing me (not losing any along the way) if you can have a proof of concept on my desk by monday - scratch that- tuesday morning i will reconsider
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May 19, 2015 16:45
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Kuato posted:Ugh, I just said there was some risk involved, and clearly a lot of legwork. At least try it before dismissing the idea, I might try it myself just to prove it'll work. woops meant to quote this (see abouve)
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May 19, 2015 16:48
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bears can be pretty violent, can we convince them to start a bear war like 300 bears vs 300 bears and then just pick up the dead bears afterwards?
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May 19, 2015 16:54
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texaholic posted:bears can be pretty violent, can we convince them to start a bear war like 300 bears vs 300 bears and then just pick up the dead bears afterwards? you tell me? i agree about the violent part though, hence the need to kill them all
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May 19, 2015 16:56
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the spread of human habitation kills more bears than any of this bullshit
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May 19, 2015 16:56
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convince lowtax to create to a general bearshit fourm... collect dead bears as they waste their life posting on a internet forum.
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May 19, 2015 17:00
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LegoPirateNinja posted:the spread of human habitation kills more bears than any of this bullshit not fast enough, imho also, get out fag
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May 19, 2015 17:05
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did you ask the Uber driver thread guy because he must've had some sort of plan already in place
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May 19, 2015 17:06
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ok maybe im coming at this problem from the wrong angle, maybe the question should be: what is the fastest way to kill as many bears as possible
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May 19, 2015 17:07
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:did you ask the Uber driver thread guy because he must've had some sort of plan already in place he didnt sound very organized, plus i think he might be retarded
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May 19, 2015 17:07
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Bip Roberts posted:Have u tried to destroy their habitat? i missed this... there might be something here... it would involve some tradeoffs though it think, probably more cons than pros.
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May 19, 2015 17:09
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maybe the maypole/chainflogger idea could work if it could operate at an undetectable decibel level. .... i could make the center pole about 50 yards high with a spiked top on it, and skewer a bunch of deer, elk, moose, whatever is walking around 50 yards high on it like a big bambi shishkabob... the bears would come in to try and get a corpse, and shhhzzzzttt! bye bye bear. as the lower corpses rotted the next ones would slide into place... this would be slower and require some thinking about how to dampen the motor, but it could buried fairly deep in the ground. hmmm
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May 19, 2015 17:15
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i thought all you had was a bulldozer and some cans where are you now getting all this extra stuff
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May 19, 2015 17:18
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Bears love to eat garbage, so just dump a ton of really stinky trash in the box canyon. They should come running and then u can kill all the bears!
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May 19, 2015 17:18
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deforestation
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May 19, 2015 17:20
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:i thought all you had was a bulldozer and some cans where are you now getting all this extra stuff this is theoretical. obv i dont have a 500hp vertical shaft electric motor, but i could probably get some heavy guage chain and large barbed hooks. just trying to think outside the box because no one is helping me!
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May 19, 2015 17:20
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Captain Yossarian posted:Bears love to eat garbage, so just dump a ton of really stinky trash in the box canyon. They should come running and then u can kill all the bears! holy gently caress. its beautiful. so simple i cant believe i didnt think of that. this could be it.
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May 19, 2015 17:22
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dad gay. so what posted:this is theoretical. obv i dont have a 500hp vertical shaft electric motor, but i could probably get some heavy guage chain and large barbed hooks. just trying to think outside the box because no one is helping me! ok does it just have to be YOU doing the killing because if not I have another idea that might actually be cheaper so what you do is find a bunch of ppl that live close to every zoo in the US and pick a certain day and everyone goes to the zoo and shoots the bears at the same coordinated time. Can coordinate this p easily with cell phones and since its the US ppl already have their own weapons. That's 50 bears easy I think. Most zoos probably have 8 (2 black, brown, grizz, polar) at least. there's almost no cost to this except time spent on recruitment which shouldnt be that hard
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May 19, 2015 17:23
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Dam a stream that salmon swim up to spawn that's popular with bears. Dam it enough to build up a nice reservoir but not enough to stop the salmon swimming up it. At the opportune moment burst the dam then smile quietly to yourself as the cleansing waters break upon your foes - washing them back into the oceans from whence they came.
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May 19, 2015 17:24
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:ok does it just have to be YOU doing the killing because if not I have another idea that might actually be cheaper this should happen regardless of which plan is selected, and no, obviously it doesnt have to be just me, i just need them all dead, and fast.
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May 19, 2015 17:32
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Dam a stream that salmon swim up to spawn that's popular with bears. Dam it enough to build up a nice reservoir but not enough to stop the salmon swimming up it. At the opportune moment burst the dam then smile quietly to yourself as the cleansing waters break upon your foes - washing them back into the oceans from whence they came. 10/10 for the flowery apocalyptic language, but no
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May 19, 2015 17:33
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Hire some ex-navy seal/mercenary guys and have them sneak in to zoos across the globe at night and kill/harvest bears. This can be done very quickly if you have alot of money.
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May 19, 2015 17:35
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texaholic posted:Hire some ex-navy seal/mercenary guys and have them sneak in to zoos across the globe at night and kill/harvest bears. This can be done very quickly if you have alot of money. cool thanks for stealing my idea and making it less sweet and tactical dick
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May 19, 2015 17:37
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in the shower after a hard bike ride
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May 19, 2015 17:38
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:cool thanks for stealing my idea and making it less sweet and tactical dick you wanted random dudes, I am using Navy Seals they don't even need guns just killing bears with their barehands.
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May 19, 2015 17:39
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texaholic posted:you wanted random dudes, I am using Navy Seals they don't even need guns just killing bears with their barehands. navy seals are way harder to find AND more expensive we're trying to control costs
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May 19, 2015 17:42
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dad gay. so what posted:10/10 for the flowery apocalyptic language, but no Fine! Then just gently caress one at let your poison genes do the work.
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May 19, 2015 17:42
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with your bare hands
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May 19, 2015 17:43
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