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Welcome to the GDT for UFC Fight Night 68: Boetsch vs. Henderson, airing live 10 p.m. ET Saturday, June 6 on Fox Sports 1. Don't forget to post your picks in Goonweight! It's going to be a very special night for a lot of young men, but unfortunately not for Ryan Bader. Here we see him so happy in his prom outfit (they get more revealing every year!) waiting for his big date before he realized he was stood up.  She's so lucky, she's a star But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart Bader was all set to have the best night of his life, until that no-good scoundrel Daniel Cormier found out he was a shoe-in for Prom King and ditched Bader for a bigger date. Cormier got the best that one had in under five minutes and now that he's on top, he's forgotten all about Bader, going for that tall blonde thing with the cute accent. We're so sorry, Ryan. We're sure it's very hard on you. But prom must go on, and we're at the point of the night where they play the schmaltzy superlative video with photos of everyone over the past few years set to that same goddamn song you've heard this time every year since 2000. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foyAOoVagWw  Dan Henderson: Coolest Chaperone vs.  Tim Boetsch Most Likely to Be Ranked No. 16 I could write a bunch of poo poo here singing the praises of Dan Henderson, talking about how he's a unanimous fan favorite and the threat of the Big Right Hand make him fun to watch, and how he brought Michael Bisping face to face with whatever gap-toothed lockjawed soccer hooligan wood nymph the Brits claim as their chief deity. But it wouldn't matter. We're watching a 44-year-old man who has forgotten how to bend his knees and could never breathe through his nose in the first place saunter into a UFC cage in 2015 to fight a man not named Shogun Rua, so there's kind of a sense of inevitability shrouding this fight. This may well be Dangerous Dan Hollywood Hendo Henderson's swan song, before he is carted off into the sunset but his hot wife who is half his age. However, if he's got one more in him, it may well come out against the deeply flawed and imminently hitable Tim Boetsch. I love Tim and believe that when he's on, he looks great. You can never truly count him out as we saw against Okami, and anyone who's smaller and frailer than him gets tossed like a sack of moldy potatoes. He's also the guy who needed a gift decision against CB Dollaway and is probably the last person to make Mark Munoz look good. Let's see what happens!  Ben Rothwell: Most Likely to Head to Denny's Immediately After the Fight vs.  Matt Mitrione: Most Likely to Tell the Ref He's Fine Because He's Too Stupid to Realize He's Not Fine Ben Rothwell is a simple man with a degree in collision repair from a Wisconsin technical college. His family owned a restaurant before it burned down. He is on the first win streak of his UFC career. He took the soul of the man who took his opponent's soul. He stood up while being knocked out by Cain Velasquez and his balls stopped working when Marty McFly ran him over with the DeLorean. No matter what happens in or immediately after a Ben Rothwell fight, it is guaranteed to be hilarious. Matt Mitrione is a soft-bodied turd-baby who has had literally every fight of his career in the UFC. He is too dumb for the NFL. He gave a thumbs-up while being choked unconscious by Brendan Schaub, adding to Schaub's delusions that he is a dangerous BJJ player. He's also on the best streak of his career so a knockout is sadly not outside the realm of possibility. I no longer wish to write words about Matt Mitrione.  Dustin Poirier: Most Likely to Cry vs.  Yancy Medeiros: Most Likely to Lose a Thumb Dustin Poirier is a high-offense, low-defense kind of fighter who has fun fights, win or lose. Due to said style, he also nearly loses every time he wins. He's returning to lightweight after a long and fairly successful stint at featherweight, where he had a fight of the year against Chan Sung Jung and somehow was not as important of a win for Conor McGregor as Dennis Siver. He is also known as a bit of a headcase, becoming incredibly upset at McGregor's taunting in the lead-up to the fight and being confused that Koch felt he was bad-mouthing him when “all I said was that I was going to go into his hometown and beat him up in front of his family or whatever.“ Yancy Medeiros is surprisingly still in the UFC after coming in undefeated and going 0-2, 1 NC after testing positive against Yves Edwards for marijuana. I guess terribly dislocating his thumb in his debut against Rustam Khabilov caught him a little slack though, and we're better off for it, as his next two submission wins were really cool and both earned him submission of the night honors. Let's see if the former light heavyweight sinks a third as he welcomes Poirier back to the lightweight division.  Thiago Tavares: Most Likely to Run for Office in a Subversive Political Party vs.  Brian Ortega: Best Hair Tavares' recent career somewhat mirrors Medeiros', in that he got his poo poo pushed in by a Dagestani, failed a drug test but is now on a two-sub streak. He's been a UFC fighter for a pretty long time, but he's never quite caught greatness, never putting more than two together at a time against decent competition. Brian Ortega is an undefeated surfer bro and would have an unblemished record had he not used drostanolone leading into his Mike De La Torre fight. Despite this, he has not fought anyone of any real note, so he may be in Tavares' sweet range.  Joe Soto: Most Likely to Do Much Better than Expected but Fail Anyway vs.  Anthony Birchak: Worst Graphic Designer, Least Likely to Have a Wikipedia Page Former Bellator and Tachi Palace bantamweight champion and former UFC title contender Joe Soto makes his vaguely anticipated UFC return against some guy. He did a lot better than Barao against TJ Dillashaw overall before losing in the exact same way at pretty close to the exact same time, but whether he is legitimately better than Barao or just had a different enough style that it threw Dillashaw off his game awaits to be seen. We probably won't know the answer to that after seeing him fight Anthony “El Toro” Birchak, a fighter who was submitted by British Submission Specialist Ian Entwistle.  Francisco Rivera: Most Likely to Need LASIK vs.  Alex Caceres: Most Likely to Thank the Choom Gang in the Yearbook A fight between two guys who shouldn't be good enough to make us question Urijah Faber. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH Fox Sports 1 Prelims, 8 p.m. ET Heavyweight: Shawn Jordan  vs. Derrick Lewis Welterweight: Brian Ebersole  vs. Omari Akhmedov  Lightweight: Chris Wade vs. Christos Giagos Lightweight: Joe Proctor vs. Justin Edwards UFC Fight Pass Early Prelims, 7 p.m. ET Middleweight: Jake Collier vs. Ricardo Abreu  Bantamweight: Jose Quiñonez  vs. Leonardo Morales  Official weigh-ins, 5 p.m. ET Friday, June 5 http://www.ufc.com/media/fight-night-new-orleans-official-weigh-in-2015 Official MMA Snack Rating: “How to spike punch without gettin cAught?” from Yahoo! Answers  1.Get a glass of punch 2. Go to the bathroom and put in whatever you spiking it with 3. When there isnt a lot of people around go back and stealthly pour it back in 4. If any adults asks you say I dont want it or I grabbed an extra Official best answer from Y!A user Bowlegaliscious: Ask one of the adults to do it for you. You will be surprised as to what they will do next. Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 04:35 on Jun 5, 2015 |
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Jun 5, 2015 02:53
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 14:25 |
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And don't worry, Ryan Bader got a date after all in famous rock star Axl Rose
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Jun 5, 2015 02:56
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Weigh ins are live.
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Jun 5, 2015 22:05
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First guy blew weight by five pounds. A good start.
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Jun 5, 2015 22:06
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People have accepted catchweights off worse misses before so not necessarily. It's his first time at bantamweight so he could have just botched the cut, not necessarily sick or anything.
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Jun 5, 2015 22:12
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Rothwell simultaneously hit the limit for heavyweight and looked in much better shape than he had in his past several fights. Wonder what that'll reflect in the fight, if anything.
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Jun 5, 2015 22:30
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fatherdog posted:Same If anything was going to do that, it would have been the Cormier fight. Maybe a similar performance from someone on Boetsch's level will get through.
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Jun 6, 2015 21:59
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No sound at the bar, but I can tell I just missed some very important words.
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Jun 7, 2015 04:58
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My gf just pulled up Rothwell's laugh on her phone, that poo poo is when you shoot Baron Semedi with the golden gun and he teleports Big Ben owns
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Jun 7, 2015 05:15
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Good job now retire
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Jun 7, 2015 05:22
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 14:25 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DW5S2JgqcY
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Jun 7, 2015 18:27
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