What are some times you've hit or hurt animals?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > What are some times you've hit or hurt animals?

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

Falukorv posted:

I wringed the neck of a jackdaw once, it was badly injured so more like euthanasia, but i felt horrible. Only time i've killed a higher animal.

Otherwise i fish, and kill annoying insects from time to time.

Also i'm not a vegetarian, so indirectly i'm hurting animals.

i also jackdawf

# ? Jun 24, 2015 22:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 15:58

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Lmbo at that dude that got bit on the rear end by the horse

# ? Jun 24, 2015 22:16

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

i got a baby beagle cornering a groundhog. i think i was 13, i broke the hogs back with an axe. i worked at an azeala nursery and stomed on a bunch of mice. i killed 3 deer with a 33 winchester and froze the meat. i got pot shots off on deer eating our garden with an air rifle to save our tamaters. suck my dick.

# ? Jun 24, 2015 22:36

Radical and BADical!: Jun 27, 2010; by Lowtax; Fun Shoe

Commie NedFlanders posted:

My stupid rear end bad cat bit my finger like a month ago like she chomped down hard because I was trying to move her and she was reluctant. I have 2 excitable dogs too so I didn't want to freak out because the dogs would start barking and the cat would get more agitated. Honestly my survival instinct was to beat the poo poo out of the cat like punch her stupid whisker face because she got my index finger between two long point teeth one tooth was pressing right in the center of my finger print swirl the other was placed firmly at the center of my finger nail and she slowly oh so slowly like it felt like a whole minute she squeezed her jaws down and I felt her teeth pierce my skin and plunge into my flesh then I felt my fingernail give as her tooth shot through the nail .

I didn't actually want to hit her or flail her around because now she was stuck in my finger and I didn't want to get my dogs riled up because they would chase her if they think she's attacking me so I basically stood there and took it like a sad champ and I felt those two needles close into my flesh from the top and the bottom.

When she finally let go I had s wicked gross hole an actual piercing right through the my finger nail and a big splotch of blood under the nail and my fingertip had a regular flesh hole.

Okay so that was like a month ago and the nail has been slowly growing out and the big ugly blood splotch has been slowly pushing it's way to the tip of the nail it's finally at the end

cat needs a job, imo

# ? Jun 24, 2015 22:43

IllCamino: Oct 9, 2010; You poke 'em on!

I hit my cat with a load one evening. She was watching my jack off under my desk unbeknownst to me and i "accidentally" jizzed on her head. Then I went to bed.

# ? Jun 24, 2015 22:48

bonvivant: Oct 1, 2014; I may be racist, transphobic, an antisemite and a misogynist, but I project like an angel

a lot of cats love being hit with things like in the video it's weird

I smack one of mine on the back pretty hard and she gets pissed off if I stop

she'd destroy me if she didn't like it

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:15

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

i run over my dogs with the lawnmower

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:16

bonvivant: Oct 1, 2014; I may be racist, transphobic, an antisemite and a misogynist, but I project like an angel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6a8T5Z5wkk

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:18

bonvivant: Oct 1, 2014; I may be racist, transphobic, an antisemite and a misogynist, but I project like an angel

Network Pesci posted:

I shoot pigs all the time and about once a month I decapitate a rattlesnake or pygmy rattler with a shovel. That counts, right? I wish I'd had my gun this morning, I saw a dozen hogs while going out to the jobsite and I coulda totally got a couple of them.

Once I punched a horse in the face. I was climbing over a fence with a bucket of feed and the horse bit me in the rear end hard enough to draw blood as well as rip the rear end out of my pants, right in front of the boss's wife too. I got down off that fence and hit that horse full in the mouth with an overhand right haymaker as hard as I could. It probably would have put most men on the ground but the horse just shook his head and backed off a couple of feet. You know, you think of a dude hitting a horse as "animal cruelty" but horses kick each other all the time and a good-sized horse has as much muscle in one leg as you do in your whole body.

Bulls, right? You know, male cows? Well, bulls have to learn respect for you before they'll do what you tell them. You try to move cows from one pasture to another, if the bull doesn't recognize you, he believes that you're a threat to his women so he'll try to kill you. If a bull tosses his head up and down, he's threatening you but probably won't try to kill you. If he tries to push you into an obstacle with his shoulder, that is a serious attempt to hurt you and the proper way to respond to that is to hit the bull with the biggest thing you can find, if you break a 2x4 over his head he'll probably get the point.

Spiders make horrible bartenders because they always short-change you. They just can't help themselves, it's in a spider's nature to pocket your change instead of handing it back. They also cheat at cards and pocket everybody else's tips.

this guy is also 70 and posting here lol

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:24

Bethamphetamine: Oct 29, 2012

Neighborhood Cat Cull 2015: Strayz for Dayz, Blaze n' Raze

Bethamphetamine fucked around with this message at 23:29 on Jun 24, 2015

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:25

Crewmine: Apr 26, 2012

I stomped a mouse to death once I guess

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:43

PeenCommander: Jun 24, 2008

I once goaded a cat into eating a grasshopper and I've lived with guilt ever since

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:45

Reiche: Jan 28, 2009; I like my coffee with cream and lsd.

I threw a shovel at a mouse when I was like 8 and somehow managed to slice half its side. I ran away so it probably suffered a lot :shrug:

I also threw a rock at a goose a good 30 feet out in a pond and nailed that too when I was around 10. I guess I have good aim when I'm trying to cause physical harm.

# ? Jun 24, 2015 23:45

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

I call my cat names. that's all. what is wrong with you people

# ? Jun 25, 2015 00:16

Harakiri Potter: Oct 18, 2004; REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY

i have to put down animals sometimes. i live in an area infested with white tail deer, and i run a dairy farm.

last week two little whiny college bros ran into a large doe and were literally holding each other watching this deer moan as its back legs weren't working. they were screaming "omg what do i do?" i summed it up, told them to call the police, they'll usually come out and pump a slug into its head and call it a day. so they call the police and we waited. i even let them sit in my truck, it was hot and raining. after 20 minutes of waiting i decided it was time to end this and choked the deer out with a trash bag. it took several minutes and bummed me out. i dragged the dead animal back to my vehicle and lifted it into the bed of my truck to bring it home. the one dude was like "shouldn't you leave it here for insurance or something?"

i just said "no" and went home and processed it. no point wasting meat.

# ? Jun 25, 2015 00:51

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

i chase my dogs around the house with the hose from the vacuum like it's a giant snake that's gonna suck them up and eat them

# ? Jun 25, 2015 00:59

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

i have a cat and i dont chan the litterbox often enough. i should do it more frequently.

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:09

various cheeses: Jan 24, 2013

I killed a mosquito because it bit me.

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:18

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

various cheeses posted:

I killed a mosquito because it bit me.

lol congrats dummy thats the worst time to kill a mosquito

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:25

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Lawman 0 posted:

I'm gonna go look for this question and use it as my deal-breaker question now.

Yeah this is the worst part:

(the profile I saw the question on answered yes that she would go on a second date with the person who sped up in order to hit an animal)

actually this girl is a goldmine of terrible answers:

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:46

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Enfield posted:

i got a baby beagle cornering a groundhog. i think i was 13, i broke the hogs back with an axe. i worked at an azeala nursery and stomed on a bunch of mice. i killed 3 deer with a 33 winchester and froze the meat. i got pot shots off on deer eating our garden with an air rifle to save our tamaters. suck my dick.

My son was offered money to shoot any rabbits/deer that were eating my neighbors plants (super nice landscaping), he took his first shot using a paintball gun I recommended vs an airsoft as this would mark the pest and we'd see if it came back. Hit the rabit straight in the eyeball from 50 feet and it was righthing around for a few minutes, I had to wring its neck in front of him. He was 8 and a good loving shot.

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:47

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

Once when I was a kid, like 6, I threw my puppy down the stairs

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:48

JohnnySavs: Dec 28, 2004; I have all the characteristics of a human being.

I once cracked my dog right in the schnoz with a wiimote during a drunken Mario Party; felt horrible.

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:58

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

JakeP posted:

Yeah this is the worst part:

(the profile I saw the question on answered yes that she would go on a second date with the person who sped up in order to hit an animal)

actually this girl is a goldmine of terrible answers:

shes perfect

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:59

Polycalypse: Aug 7, 2014

As a child, one of my most favorite past time was using a magnifying glass to fry bugs. Roly polies make the most satisfying pops, but I learned that anything bigger than a centimeter (i.e. large bodied insects) tended to not pop, but slowly cook unpleasantly. I had to stop though after my magnifying glass got taken away after I made a decent sized fire on my driveway.

I also watched as the police came and told my parents we couldn't have a duck as a pet (because the neighbors were assholes and were the ones that called them) and my grandmother had to kill the pet duck. It wasn't as traumatizing as it probably could have been, partially because it was somewhat interesting to look at the blood that was drained out of it.

Though recently the most I've really done is get hives from my friend's pet cats. Skin isn't very protective if you've got a cut. Later, my friend's mother said she came downstairs to find the two cats staring at me after I passed out on their couch.

# ? Jun 25, 2015 01:59

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

Polycalypse posted:

As a child, one of my most favorite past time was using a magnifying glass to fry bugs. Roly polies make the most satisfying pops, but I learned that anything bigger than a centimeter (i.e. large bodied insects) tended to not pop, but slowly cook unpleasantly. I had to stop though after my magnifying glass got taken away after I made a decent sized fire on my driveway.

I also watched as the police came and told my parents we couldn't have a duck as a pet (because the neighbors were assholes and were the ones that called them) and my grandmother had to kill the pet duck. It wasn't as traumatizing as it probably could have been, partially because it was somewhat interesting to look at the blood that was drained out of it.

Though recently the most I've really done is get hives from my friend's pet cats. Skin isn't very protective if you've got a cut. Later, my friend's mother said she came downstairs to find the two cats staring at me after I passed out on their couch.

this begs the question as to how you got a disease from the cats

# ? Jun 25, 2015 02:04

Polycalypse: Aug 7, 2014

Fetus Tree posted:

this begs the question as to how you got a disease from the cats

I'm just mildly allergic. Normally if I wasn't injured, the only way for me to react is if cats physically rub my face. Which is sad, because cats are cute. I used to have a stray but I think it either got eaten by coyotes or someone found it and sent it to the nearby animal shelter.

# ? Jun 25, 2015 02:07

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Fetus Tree posted:

shes perfect

you are in Boston right? You can prolly find her

# ? Jun 25, 2015 02:41

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

JakeP posted:

you are in Boston right? You can prolly find her

# ? Jun 25, 2015 02:44

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

I used to work in a lab. Part of what I had to do was decapitate rats and remove and dissect the brain.

We would put them to sleep with isoflurane and then decapitate with a guillotine.

They were unconscious though, so dying didn't hurt.

I used to have to genotype the rats too by taking a tail snip. Again, they were put to sleep first but waking up with part of their tail missing probably hurt.

spacemang_spliff fucked around with this message at 03:08 on Jun 25, 2015

# ? Jun 25, 2015 03:04

Zippy the Bummer: Dec 14, 2008; Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES

quote:

If a bull tosses his head up and down, he's threatening you but probably won't try to kill you. If he tries to push you into an obstacle with his shoulder, that is a serious attempt to hurt you and the proper way to respond to that is to hit the bull with the biggest thing you can find, if you break a 2x4 over his head he'll probably get the point

this is true

# ? Jun 25, 2015 04:14

naem: May 29, 2011

I ate a bunny

# ? Jun 25, 2015 04:48

EXTREME INSERTION: Jun 4, 2011; by LadyAmbien

Rabbits and deer are food

# ? Jun 25, 2015 04:49

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

deer are the biggest shitheads

# ? Jun 25, 2015 04:51

Robbie Fowler: May 31, 2011

i didn't fill up op's waterdish

# ? Jun 25, 2015 04:55

naem: May 29, 2011

Deer are beautiful majestic animals but they have no predators and their only response to environmental pressure is "run away" and "have babies"

When they overpopulate an area and starve in the winter their programming says HAVE BABIES which of course makes the problem worse, and then you have deer leaping 20 feet into your car from all directions 24/7

# ? Jun 25, 2015 04:59

EXTREME INSERTION: Jun 4, 2011; by LadyAmbien

naem posted:

Deer are beautiful majestic animals but they have no predators and their only response to environmental pressure is "run away" and "have babies"

When they overpopulate an area and starve in the winter their programming says HAVE BABIES which of course makes the problem worse, and then you have deer leaping 20 feet into your car from all directions 24/7

The natural predator of the deer is the car

# ? Jun 25, 2015 05:00

Keg: Sep 22, 2014

Polycalypse posted:

As a child, one of my most favorite past time was using a magnifying glass to fry bugs. Roly polies make the most satisfying pops, but I learned that anything bigger than a centimeter (i.e. large bodied insects) tended to not pop, but slowly cook unpleasantly. I had to stop though after my magnifying glass got taken away after I made a decent sized fire on my driveway.

I also watched as the police came and told my parents we couldn't have a duck as a pet (because the neighbors were assholes and were the ones that called them) and my grandmother had to kill the pet duck. It wasn't as traumatizing as it probably could have been, partially because it was somewhat interesting to look at the blood that was drained out of it.

Though recently the most I've really done is get hives from my friend's pet cats. Skin isn't very protective if you've got a cut. Later, my friend's mother said she came downstairs to find the two cats staring at me after I passed out on their couch.

What does it feel like to watch the blood get drained out of your pet duck?

# ? Jun 25, 2015 05:50

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

Sometimes I'll pet someone's dog or cat on their back/scratch their head but the animal never gives explicit consent so I might be sexually assaulting them

# ? Jun 25, 2015 06:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 15:58

Puppy Galaxy: Aug 1, 2004

im permabanned poster kittenstomper58

# ? Jun 25, 2015 18:06

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > What are some times you've hit or hurt animals?

«‹›4 »