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Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

On this day, Thomas Jefferson crossed the Potomac to kick King George out of America, and the rest is history. Hence, I thought it would be fitting to give thanks for our favorite American things. Here are a few of mine:

1) Cold Activated Coors Light Cans:


No longer do you have to guess if your beer is cold enough, the good folks at Coors have figured out a way for "the rest of us" to know if our beer is ready! God bless these folks

2) The Whopper


America, land of the brave, home of the Whopper LOL. Haha just kidding, but I love the flame-broiled taste. For the homos here on SA, you can eat at Burger King knowing that they support you (see image, attached)

3) Something Awful, LLC


The internet makes you stupid, indeed! Ha ha ha. No but really folks, I am real glad that Richard Kyanka made this great website like 20 years ago. I enjoy posting here, and these forums--as well as the posters contained within it--have given me countless laughs over the years.


So, which American things are the goonmunity thankful for? Please share itt :)

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DamnCanadian
Jan 3, 2005

Perpetuating the stereotype since 1978.
That a Canadian can make the first post

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost
I'm thankful we beat up the British 239 years ago.
gently caress those guys

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

DamnCanadian posted:

That a Canadian can make the first post

:(

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I poopa inda pants.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012
I mean its not really the greatest country in the world now is it whats your criteria? costa rica is the happiest country to live in, qatar is the richest country per capita, cuba is the best at baseball, denmark has the best education, italy has the best food, the netherlands has the best healthcare... i guess if the criteria is gun death, childhood obesity and autism youre doing a great job?

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

Shirley Crabtree posted:

I mean its not really the greatest country in the world now is it whats your criteria? costa rica is the happiest country to live in, qatar is the richest country per capita, cuba is the best at baseball, denmark has the best education, italy has the best food, the netherlands has the best healthcare... i guess if the criteria is gun death, childhood obesity and autism youre doing a great job?

aww little brother is mad

coldplay chiptunes
Sep 17, 2010

by Lowtax

Shirley Crabtree posted:

I mean its not really the greatest country in the world now is it whats your criteria? costa rica is the happiest country to live in, qatar is the richest country per capita, cuba is the best at baseball, denmark has the best education, italy has the best food, the netherlands has the best healthcare... i guess if the criteria is gun death, childhood obesity and autism youre doing a great job?
the butthurt,... is strongg with this one,..... ;):{

Prorat
Aug 3, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Shirley Crabtree posted:

I mean its not really the greatest country in the world now is it whats your criteria? costa rica is the happiest country to live in, qatar is the richest country per capita, cuba is the best at baseball, denmark has the best education, italy has the best food, the netherlands has the best healthcare... i guess if the criteria is gun death, childhood obesity and autism youre doing a great job?

Laughing out loud at these false stats.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I poopa enna peepee enna dookie inna ma pants-pants.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Daedra posted:

aww little brother is mad

coldplay chiptunes posted:

the butthurt,... is strongg with this one,..... ;):{

im sorry... i should be jelly about you having all the fat kids autism and gun massacres?

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Shirley Crabtree posted:

im sorry... i should be jelly about you having all the fat kids autism and gun massacres?

you shouldn't, but you are

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Daedra posted:

aww little brother is mad

Mad that his country is only number 2 on those things?

I'm thankful for internet porn. (For the internet, not the pornstars, Czech Republic wins there)

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012
your also really good at bombing brown people wooooo usa #1

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Shirley Crabtree posted:

your also really good at bombing brown people wooooo usa #1

you taught them well. also, congrats on inventing concentration camps I guess?

ColoradoCleric
Dec 26, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Legal weed

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Benny Harvey posted:

you taught them well. also, congrats on inventing concentration camps I guess?

yeah but we stopped using those a long time ago comeon guys guantanemo bay really?

Prorat
Aug 3, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Shirley Crabtree posted:

your also really good at bombing brown people wooooo usa #1

America has more brown people than whatever poo poo country you're from.

coldplay chiptunes
Sep 17, 2010

by Lowtax

Shirley Crabtree posted:

your also really good at bombing brown people wooooo usa #1
lol your'e mad as heck. drat dude.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Benny Harvey posted:

you taught them well. also, congrats on inventing concentration camps I guess?

Is he German or Canadian? Either way he sucks and is jealous.

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Shirley Crabtree posted:

yeah but we stopped using those a long time ago comeon guys guantanemo bay really?

And who gladly sends it's own citizens there?

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

Shirley Crabtree posted:

yeah but we stopped using those a long time ago comeon guys guantanemo bay really?

i bet most of us havent even been to that beach

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

Is he German or Canadian? Either way he sucks and is jealous.

English.They used them against Dutch settlers in South Africa during the Boer War.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Daedra posted:

i bet most of havent even been to that beach

we got some beaches but theres a lot of poo in the water so its best not to swim

Prorat posted:

America has more brown people than whatever poo poo country you're from.

yeah they seem really happy at the minute with all that racial tolerance going on for example in churches

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Benny Harvey posted:

English.They used them against Dutch settlers in South Africa during the Boer War.

Ha Ha! He's English and giving Americans poo poo?

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
I'm thankful that I can't even make enough money to leave this stupid country because this country is so stupid.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

Ha Ha! He's English and giving Americans poo poo?

im not giving americans poo poo i just think you need to be a bit more specific on criteria before labelling yourself 'greatest country ever'

what exactly are you the greatest at?

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

Shirley Crabtree posted:

we got some beaches but theres a lot of poo in the water so its best not to swim


yeah they seem really happy at the minute with all that racial tolerance going on for example in churches

i appreciate you trying to rile the great USA on the anniversary of the day the world began but im just gonna eat a hotdog and a hamburger and feel like poo poo!

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Shirley Crabtree posted:

im not giving americans poo poo i just think you need to be a bit more specific on criteria before labelling yourself 'greatest country ever'

what exactly are you the greatest at?

Umm... Being awesome, and not having bad teeth.

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin
Hmm I would prefer it if this thread was reserved for pro-American sentiment, but if it'll make people feel better to complain about America itt, knock yourself out..... America is tough, we can handle it ;)

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

Ha Ha! He's English and giving Americans poo poo?

It's as if they introduced boxing into the special olympics.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Daedra posted:

i appreciate you trying to rile the great USA on the anniversary of the day the world began but im just gonna eat a hotdog and a hamburger and feel like poo poo!

sorry you feel bad but lucky for you america is really good at treating depression free happy pills for all oh not wait a hundred bux please

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Benny Harvey posted:

It's as if they introduced boxing into the special olympics.

actually we invented both boxing and the special olympics, look it up ;)

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

Shirley Crabtree posted:

sorry you feel bad but lucky for you america is really good at treating depression free happy pills for all oh not wait a hundred bux please

are you allowed to buy fireworks

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

I can insult minorities and then hide behind the 1st amendment.

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

Umm... Being awesome, and not having bad teeth.

England actually has had better teeth than America since the second world war. NHS :britain:

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Shirley Crabtree posted:

actually we invented both boxing and the special olympics, look it up ;)

That honestly makes sense. What else are you gonna do with those strong dudes with brain damage

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Benny Harvey posted:

England actually has had better teeth than America since the second world war. NHS :britain:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj46zZylcJU

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Daedra posted:

are you allowed to buy fireworks

yeah we buy fireworks for november 5th thats our fireworks day we celebrate the gunpowder plot or the foiling of the gunpowder plot im not sure which

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Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

That honestly makes sense. What else are you gonna do with those strong dudes with brain damage

Plus they can't get any uglier.

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