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 Welcome to the prayer threadI believe that God wants healing in our lives and works in a variety of ways to provide for our well-being. I have thus posted The Prayer Thread to facilitate sharing one’s prayer requests, lifting up others in prayer, and sharing praises of how God has worked in your life. I hope that this is a place that you will visit often and that you will be blessed as God leads us to experience healing together. Why do I need to pray? Prayer is essential in our relationship with God. The importance of prayer as a daily communication with our Lord is such that it is mentioned over two hundred and fifty times in The Bible. But why is it important? First, daily prayer gives us an opportunity to share all aspects of our lives with God. Second, daily prayer gives us the chance to express our gratitude for the things He provides. Third, daily prayer provides the platform for confessing our sin and asking for help in overcoming that sin. Fourth, daily prayer is an act of worship and obedience. tl;dr: Prayer is important so you can
How do I pray? I'm sure you all remember The Lord's Prayer that you were taught in school. It goes: Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. While this is a good 'overview' prayer to perform every day, you can be far more specific with your prayers. Remember, a prayer is a conversation with God, so you can pray about whatever you like. Thankful for a recent promotion at work? Try 'Dear Lord, thank you for blessing me with a promotion. I pray that I use my new greater income/position of power/rostered day off to further your will, and that I remain humble as befitting a follower of your Word.' Want to confess a sin? 'Our Father in Heaven, I have sinned today, for I coveted my neighbor's new turf in his yard. John always has such a nice lawn, but as you know, he has recently renovated his patio area and laid new turf, which seems to be fine-leaf Fescue, and it looks marvelous. Give me strength to no longer covet his new turf, and to live my life without sin.' Concerned about a friend? 'Dear God, I pray that you watch over Stephanie, and take her as you did the author of the well-known allegorical story 'Footprints' and carry her through this hard time in her life that she must be experiencing, with the recent decision to date someone of a different faith. Guide her hand, and allow her to preach your word to her new boyfriend, so that he may see the light, or be cast into Hell. Else, may you help her see the light and cast aside her ways she has chosen.' So my internet friends, I hope that you will come to this thread in good faith, and share your troubles, your thanks, and your sins with both our Lord, and also our fellow posters, that we may grow together in fellowship. If you would like someone to pray with you, please share this information in your posts in this thread. IMPORTANT: This is a "feel good" thread. The world at large is a pretty loving dark and lovely place, and daily prayer gives us an opportunity to share all the troubles of one’s life with God, along with giving us the chance to express gratitude for the things in life that He provides. Please respect the beliefs of each poster in this thread, and please be mindful of their prayers and the sensitive content that may be referred to in them. We will not tolerate any kind of ethnic/gender/orientation slurs, etc. in this thread. This is your warning. Yes, this is a thread on the somethingawful.com forums, a comedy website that is certainly no stranger to crude/shock/offensive humor. There are other threads for that, this is not one of them. Thank you and enjoy.
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Jul 27, 2015 05:40
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:47 |
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gently caress up idiot, back to TRP
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Jul 27, 2015 05:48
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is this kosher heh
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Jul 27, 2015 06:24
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Oh great and mighty God who thinks that he is hot poo poo. Come at me. Don't be such a pussy sitting in your heaven not doing poo poo. Come fight me, man. If you're so almighty and powerful you should have no trouble going toe to toe. Or maybe you're chicken and something bawk bawk bakw baw baw. Amen
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Jul 27, 2015 06:28
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god and praying sound boring
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Jul 27, 2015 06:31
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hail satin
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Jul 27, 2015 06:33
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﴿١﴾الْحَمْدُ لِلَّـهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ ﴿٢﴾ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ ﴿٣﴾ مَالِكِ يَوْمِ الدِّينِ ﴿٤﴾ إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ ﴿٥﴾ اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ ﴿٦﴾ صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ الْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا الضَّالِّينَ اَللهُ أَكْبَرْ اَللهُ أَكْبَرْ اَللهُ أَكْبَرْ
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Jul 27, 2015 06:34
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Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
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Jul 27, 2015 06:34
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and forgive us our transgressions, as we forgive those who transgress against ourselves for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, now and forever amen
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Jul 27, 2015 06:36
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what is this poo poo about forgiving people that need to pay up?
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Jul 27, 2015 06:38
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Hail Satan.
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Jul 27, 2015 06:38
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Dear jesu alla moham gd jehov None of you are real and I am not a mental AMen e: was anyone legit scared of saying anything Muslim? Cos I was...
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Jul 27, 2015 07:06
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om shanti shanti shanti
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Jul 27, 2015 07:13
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and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, now and forever amen
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Jul 27, 2015 07:15
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no for real tho https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qrbfRqBdpY
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Jul 27, 2015 07:17
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a prayer for prosperity hungry investors stuffed with cash please notice my fine suit invest in this, my fund and be forever enriched like your friends before you praise my skill to all you know notice not my stock photo family it is but window dressing notice not the investment chart which leads back unto itself notice not the familiar scent of your friend's hands on your next return and should these things come to pass tell not the pigs of the field for of each of my sins you know i know three of yours forever and ever amen
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Jul 27, 2015 07:26
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Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of Satan, called Lucifer. May God rebuke him, I humbly pray, and do thou o Prince of heavenly hosts, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan, and all his evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
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Jul 27, 2015 07:29
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dicksuck.exe
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Jul 27, 2015 07:30
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i want to suck angel dick, but sadly they lack physical form
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Jul 27, 2015 07:32
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Hail Lucifer! Dark bringer of light! Hail Lucifer! Giver of eternal sight! Wisdom bringer, we call upon thy name. Bestow upon us thy infernal blessings, Of the inner divine flame! Open our eyes mighty father! So that we may see! Guide our steps on the Burning Path of Liberation and Ecstasy! Titanic Prometheus! God of forbidden light! Your black flame we bear inside, as a legacy of your might! Illumination's father! God of shadowless light! Black sun of dark mysteries. Restore the dragon's sight! Mighty God of darkness! All salutations to thee! Your gift of knowledge and rebellion will set our spirits free!
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Jul 27, 2015 07:51
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqFvNBeSol0 O Master Christ God, Who hast healed my passions through Thy Passion, and hast cured my wounds through Thy wounds, grant me, who have sinned greatly against Thee, tears of compunction. Transform my body with the fragrance of Thy live-giving Body, and sweeten my soul with Thy precious Blood from the bitterness with which the foe hath fed me. Lift up my down-cast mind to Thee, and take it out of the abyss of perdition, for I have no repentance, for I have no compunction, I have no consoling tears, which uplift children to their heritage. My mind hath been darkened through earthly passions, I cannot look up to Thee in pain. I cannot warm myself with tears of love for Thee. But, O Sovereign Lord Jesus Christ, Treasury of good things, give me thorough repentance and a diligent heart to seek Thee; grant me Thy grace, and renew in me the likeness of Thine image. I have forsaken Thee - do Thou not forsake me! Come out to seek me; lead me up to Thy pasturage and number me among the sheep of Thy chosen flock. Nourish me with them on the grass of Thy Holy Mysteries, through the intercessions of Thy most pure Mother and all Thy saints. Amen.
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Jul 27, 2015 08:23
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I'm praying for you, OP. Praying for you to die! 
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Jul 27, 2015 08:28
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Tiberius Thyben posted:I'm praying for you, OP. Wow. I pray that you become a nicer person while you are probated, fellow poster. We are all one here as posters, let us not wish harm on each other
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Jul 27, 2015 09:09
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I Hate religion and the op All Hail Science.
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Jul 27, 2015 10:25
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Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
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Jul 27, 2015 14:43
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praise the lord, OP!
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Jul 27, 2015 14:48
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Here's to being human All the pain and suffering There's beauty in the bleeding At least you feel something I wish I knew what it was like To care enough to carry on I wish I knew what it was like To find a place where I belong, but I am machine I never sleep I keep my eyes wide open I am machine A part of me Wishes I could just feel something I am machine I never sleep Until I fix what's broken I am machine A part of me Wishes I could just feel something Here's to being human Taking it for granted The highs and lows of living To getting second chances I wish I knew what it was like To care about what's right or wrong I wish someone could help me find Find a place where I belong, but I am machine I never sleep I keep my eyes wide open I am machine A part of me Wishes I could just feel something I am machine I never sleep Until I fix what's broken I am machine A part of me Wishes I could just feel something It wasn't supposed to be this way We were meant to feel the pain I don't like what I am becoming Wish I could just feel something I am machine I never sleep I keep my eyes wide open I am machine A part of me Wishes I could just feel something I am machine I never sleep Until I fix what's broken I am machine A part of me Wishes I could just feel something.
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Jul 27, 2015 14:52
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Dear God, for this Christmas I want lots and lots of money, like a billion at least, also I want to be the ruler of the world, and I want to become immortal, but not so immortal that I'll float around in space forever after the world ends, also scratch that, I'd like to become a god myself, I think that would be kinda cool, we could be like the holy squarity or something and hang out, I'll bring chips and video games I usually play on the PC so I hope you have good wifi, I also have an PS4 so we can play bloodborne if you buy me a new pslive account (I let mine run out). kthanks.
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Jul 27, 2015 15:01
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Sorry OP, I mixed up God and Santa Claus again, I don't really think God exists. I still hope my post gets delivered to the right person though.
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Jul 27, 2015 15:06
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Fredrik1 posted:Sorry OP, I mixed up God and Santa Claus again, I don't really think God exists. Santa Claus is an analogue for God in the mind of a child. Santa Claus is an "all knowing", "always present", "all powerful" giver of best gifts, who we are taught to believe in from a young age. If only secular culture would realise that it is not Santa Claus they are teaching their children about, but in fact our Lord and savior.
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Jul 27, 2015 15:11
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Jul 27, 2015 15:51
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I pray for death every morning I wake up. I can't take this much longer.
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Jul 27, 2015 15:52
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beest in heaven...
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Jul 27, 2015 16:00
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You say it's a conversation with God OP but God never talks back. Is god shy
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Jul 27, 2015 16:10
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:47 |
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Hail Satan. I'm chugging dark coffee in celebration of our dark lord. Hail Satan.
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Jul 27, 2015 17:24
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