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Knows all the words to Jay-Z's Black Album* *Skips the part with the, ahem, n-word
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Jul 28, 2015 14:49
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I do not live in my parents' home.
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Jul 28, 2015 14:54
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I'm hard working, passionate, and creative. I think outside the box.
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Jul 28, 2015 14:56
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poorlifedecision posted:I do not live in my parents' home. way to overachieve there bro *capable of sitting in one place in a dark room illuminated only by a computer monitor for 12 hours without taking breaks.
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Jul 28, 2015 14:59
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but goons are pretty much all millennials though is this another one of those self loathing things
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Jul 28, 2015 15:00
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Rhizoids posted:but goons are pretty much all millennials though yes
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Jul 28, 2015 15:01
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Rhizoids posted:but goons are pretty much all millennials though There are a couple of really loving old goons You can tell because they actually use the word millenial and also hate minorities
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Jul 28, 2015 15:06
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ElGroucho posted:Knows all the words to Jay-Z's Black Album* Reasonable Doubt or get the gently caress out
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Jul 28, 2015 15:07
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Archer666 posted:Came straight from my resume Hrm yes I can tell by your cynicism you subscribe to a Hobbesian core belief system. I on the other hand strive to see the inherently good nature of humanity as proposed by Locke hrm yes. I also love cum.
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Jul 28, 2015 15:17
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:I don't know, I've always thought there should be a line between kids who grew up with the Internet and kids who didn't. This, so much. Also if this job requires me to shave my beard and replace my goofy bow tie half-suit, we're gonna have problems.
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Jul 28, 2015 15:24
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i know all the pronouns of the gender spectrum
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Jul 28, 2015 15:28
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Only blew $20M in seed funding, saving angel investors $80M. Oh wait I meant dudes.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:02
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***Understands pop culture references and humor from the 80's, late 70's.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:07
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Skills: Microsoft Office XP
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Jul 28, 2015 16:08
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*a really detailed but still exceptionally lovely drawing of an anime waifu*
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Jul 28, 2015 16:09
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I'm desparate and will work for half the cost of a gen xer, 1/4 the cost of a boomer
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Jul 28, 2015 16:13
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Will draw dicks on my cartoon girls at the request of internet forum users.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:14
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Here's my dissertation on how Family Guy has shifted the cultural zeitgeist over the past decade. I expect nothing less than Tenure.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:15
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poorlifedecision posted:Will draw dicks on my cartoon girls at the request of internet forum users. *wink as I hand my resume to the interviewer*
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Jul 28, 2015 16:17
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- Professional zombie-crawling experience. - MSpaint (ironic and unironic). - CG Fantasy Pornographer, 2014-present.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:21
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*groin-scent
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Jul 28, 2015 16:22
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Okay you guys can do a different goon's resume now.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:23
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My resume is just the cool S and my phone number.
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Jul 28, 2015 18:09
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Can do a terrible slavoj zizek impression.
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Jul 28, 2015 18:29
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jBrereton posted:- Social media brand expansion this is literally what my resume says, also I hate myself and dream of a world where social media was never created
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Jul 28, 2015 18:30
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I'm clean shaven and white *Instantly hired sight unseen despite lack of degree or own apartment*
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Jul 28, 2015 18:31
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Parallax Scroll posted:Good with google, wikipedia Wikipedia stuff is for reals on my resume, since knowledge management, bottom-up info dissemination, etc are important in a lot of projects I've run. I just avoid getting into what kind of Wikipedia topics I cover in my free time.
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Jul 28, 2015 18:41
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Demonstrated multitasking skills by always using my smartphone while at work
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Jul 28, 2015 18:50
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Professional musician: Owns a ukulele, never uses it except for posing in Instagram photos.
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Jul 28, 2015 19:55
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my mom says i have a lot of self confidence 
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Jul 28, 2015 20:00
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could probably run this place better than you if you would loving die already
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Jul 28, 2015 20:01
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also demonstrated multitasking skills by playing dota during all of my college lectures
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Jul 28, 2015 20:02
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Can endure drunk customers commenting on the size of my breasts for an entire shift without lashing out Smiles obediently when told to work unpaid overtime Speaks French
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Jul 28, 2015 20:05
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ElGroucho posted:There are a couple of really loving old goons I'm 40 but I'm alright with the blacks.
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Jul 28, 2015 20:47
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mastervj posted:I'm 40 but I'm alright with the blacks. I have black friends
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Jul 28, 2015 22:10
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it's ok if i vape at my desk, right?
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Jul 28, 2015 22:26
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Astrofig posted:Can endure drunk customers commenting on the size of my breasts for an entire shift without lashing out I'm hiring, do you have social media experience? Also are you like a young Millenial or like an older Millenial 
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Jul 29, 2015 00:10
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I'm a highly qualified technology professional and alos a milennial ama.
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Jul 29, 2015 00:12
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I have hbo go and netflix log ins that I can share with everyone at work.
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Jul 29, 2015 00:20
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Game of Thrones expert
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Jul 29, 2015 00:21
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