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once it was raining and i took a corner too fast because im a bit stupid and i fishtailed down the road for a bit narrowly missing like these bmws and poo poo and there were two empty parks and i swerved in the middle of those and stopped. would have looked prett. cool i guess but i couldnt have done it again if i tried. i learned my lesson
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Sep 3, 2015 06:12
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When I was sixteen my family moved cities at the start of summer and because I didn't know anyone I spent the summer walking around the neighbourhood and checking out my new school. About a week before school started I was walking across the football field to the store and this guy maybe a year or two older came up and asked me if I wanted to buy some weed. I had $2 for some snacks so I said no, and he asked if I wanted to just smoke some with him and since I didn't know where to get weed and had no money anyway I said sure. We went down an embankment off the field to this abandoned confidence course and smoked up and on the way back up i went first up the embankment and he grabbed my ankle and pulled me down level with him and started trying to kiss me. I said "no, I have a boyfriend in my old city and I don't want to cheat on him" and he let me go and I went home. Two weeks later I woke up to my clock radio telling me the news that a girl had been found murdered in the abandoned confidence course. It turned out the guy I met had tried a similar thing with this girl and she laughed at him and said some mean things (according to his testimony) and he stabbed her to death. I didn't even really have a boyfriend, I was just trying to be nice about not wanting to make out with this dude.
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Sep 3, 2015 06:16
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What's a confidence course OP?
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Sep 3, 2015 06:45
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Shithouse Dave posted:When I was sixteen my family moved cities at the start of summer and because I didn't know anyone I spent the summer walking around the neighbourhood and checking out my new school. About a week before school started I was walking across the football field to the store and this guy maybe a year or two older came up and asked me if I wanted to buy some weed. I had $2 for some snacks so I said no, and he asked if I wanted to just smoke some with him and since I didn't know where to get weed and had no money anyway I said sure. We went down an embankment off the field to this abandoned confidence course and smoked up and on the way back up i went first up the embankment and he grabbed my ankle and pulled me down level with him and started trying to kiss me. I said "no, I have a boyfriend in my old city and I don't want to cheat on him" and he let me go and I went home. Two weeks later I woke up to my clock radio telling me the news that a girl had been found murdered in the abandoned confidence course. It turned out the guy I met had tried a similar thing with this girl and she laughed at him and said some mean things (according to his testimony) and he stabbed her to death. pretty good lesson in life dont insult other people or they might stab you to death
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Sep 3, 2015 06:47
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another time I was pla yiong dungeons an dragon and the dungeon master had many skeletons with shields and spears impale me and have hteir way with my almost corpse, I sweated as I rolled a saving throw ... natural 20 baby  I could have been skeleton chow! Alsos in rela life at school I also almost complketed a dark ritual opening a portal to hell LOL that would have been awkward
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Sep 3, 2015 07:32
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thathonkey posted:i was an idiot and unaware of this at the time but it turns out administrators at public schools can legally search you and your car whenever you're on school property lol i knew about that poo poo when I was in grade school fool never park on school property
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Sep 3, 2015 07:57
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Had to talk my way out of a conversation that started to get tense with a police officer who really wanted to see what was in my backpack when he caught me and my friend leaving some random state park at night. Youre not supposed to be at the park at night so thats why he got in our faces in the first place. Im glad I didnt get arrested for having drugs and a pipe! got the right 2 tires stuck in a ditch on some highway and the right side sunk, car was tilted diagonally, and when i tuned the wheel left to get out the car swerved into the left lane and I was basically perpendicular to the divider - happy nobody was behind me on the left lane or I would have been brained got out of a trespassing ticket because i was 17
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Sep 3, 2015 08:29
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some nice advice in this thread if you can read between the lines, heres another piece of salient advice for my friendso n the some thing awful forums website: never use youre real name
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Sep 3, 2015 10:45
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Been in a car that kissed an oncomming truck tire-to-tire. A split-second more and it would have been some hot frontal bumper action and we would have been disintegrated.
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Sep 3, 2015 10:52
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it was a 1v1 scenario and i had planted on a site i ran around outside mini to get to heaven and i heard him defuse, thinking it was all over i decided to save and camp outside mini to get an ambush frag. The guy doesn't even defuse in time because he kept faking! LOL!
ghosTTy fucked around with this message at 12:51 on Sep 3, 2015 |
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Sep 3, 2015 12:49
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,ol, nice 1
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Sep 3, 2015 12:54
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I was walking across a crosswalk when the light turned yellow one night after a fight with my highschool girlfriend. I didn't notice that a car was speeding through to try and beat the yellow, and all of a sudden I had a flash of a person as I was mid-step: it was my reflection from the windows of the car. I took my headphones off and kind of juts stood in the middle of the road, but then a cop cars sirens started from the opposite lane of the intersection, so I got out of his way.
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Sep 3, 2015 12:58
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i was almost aborted but then i wasn't because my mom got triggered by fingernails
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Sep 3, 2015 13:51
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Cnut the Great posted:i was almost aborted but then i wasn't because my mom got triggered by fingernails
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Sep 3, 2015 14:02
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Cnut the Great posted:i was almost aborted but then i wasn't because my mom got triggered by fingernails man i bet she regrets that decision
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Sep 3, 2015 14:05
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i was skiing and thought 'oh it looks fun to go in the woods here'. then i couldn't slow down because i'm not a great skiier and almost hit a ton of trees and then zoomed back onto the trail and was lucky that there wasn't anybody to crash into there. then later in the day i tore my rotator cuff and fractured my shoulder (boring mogul-related awkward fall) i was driving on the interstate and went around a bend that had a little hump in it so you couldn't see far, if i had been in the other lane i would have hit the dead deer lying right in the middle of the lane i think the most danger i put myself in on a daily basis is through eating cheese and salami at night and not exercising
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Sep 3, 2015 14:22
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I got into a head-on with a car driven by an oxy dealer late at night op.
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Sep 3, 2015 14:24
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Lawman 0 posted:I got into a head-on with a car driven by an oxy dealer late at night op. How much oxy did you get out of it?
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Sep 3, 2015 14:45
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my 81 El Camino caught on fire, the dry rotted hoses broke and sprayed gasoline all over the engine. There was fire at my feet, and I barely got out without getting burned. It was completely engulfed less than 60 seconds later.
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Sep 3, 2015 14:49
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When I was 15 I was cranking it to some porn on the family computer in the basement. I was about to cum and realized I had no tissues handy. At the same exact time, I heard my father walk down stairs. I couldn't stop cumming so I just jizzed in my hand. My dad busted into the room (I think he was trying to bust me looking at porn) and I'm sitting there with a load all over my hand, but I put it in my sweatshirt pocket to hide it. He wanted me to look something up for him and so I did with my one jizzless hand. He asked why I was typing with one hand and I said "I dunno..." and then quickly ran to the bathroom. In hindsight should have smacked him with jizz hand.
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Sep 3, 2015 14:54
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I almost joined the air force , but I failed th physical
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Sep 3, 2015 15:05
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i had a pot of chili on the stove and i wasn't paying attention and moved quickly and knocked the handle of the pot the pot went flying, i managed to catch it at a 45 degree angle only a couple inches from the floor without covering my kitchen in chili and dinner was saved
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Sep 3, 2015 15:12
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Hobohemian posted:How much oxy did you get out of it? None I swerved at the last moment and got away with only a few scratches.
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Sep 3, 2015 16:08
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In May I got sepsis and compartment syndrome from a strep A throat and almost died. Spent 2 weeks in ITU. Very close call.
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Sep 3, 2015 16:12
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Some guy legit tried to stick me with a switchblade and missed
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Sep 3, 2015 16:53
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Mozi posted:i was driving on the interstate and went around a bend that had a little hump in it so you couldn't see far, if i had been in the other lane i would have hit the dead deer lying right in the middle of the lane a "close call" with a deer is when it goes over your hood and hits your windshield but you manage to not get impaled by hooves. get outta here with this "i almost dented my bumper" baloney lol 
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Sep 3, 2015 17:07
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ThaGrandCow posted:You got lucky, one time I was sliding into home and my pants were full of foam. Who in the hell slides into first? Wait, I have no idea why I misread that the first time. Vitalis Jackson fucked around with this message at 17:28 on Sep 3, 2015 |
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Sep 3, 2015 17:18
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i crested a hill to see an oncoming car in my lane and swerved off, barely avoiding flying downhill into the wood line at 40 mph. the idiot crashed into the car behind me though because i guess me veering off and honking didnt clue anyone in fast enough.
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Sep 3, 2015 17:37
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I wanted to cross a busy 4 lane campus road that had a crosswalk but no lights. A usps truck had stopped in the lane closest to to me so I started going, I looked up to give a courtesy nod to the driver but noticed he wasn't looking at me but was instead staring into his mirrors, a moment later I could see a car just booking it through all the windows of the truck and barely stopped/pulled back in time to avoid getting clipped by the car that was probably going ~40 or so. Another time i was walking home, this time through a crosswalk with a signal and sorta just going forwards minding my own business. I saw this van coming down the road I was crossing, but he had a red light and I had a walk so I don't really think anything of it. I'm almost across the street when suddenly I feel the leg I was about to take a step forward with just get swept out in front of me, I stumble a bit and look back as that van peels off into their right turn, evidently they both didn't see me and weren't planning on hitting a full stop. If they were like an inch closer to me or if I had my weight on that leg instead of being in the process of taking a step with it I think I would have been seriously hurt, and it was a hit & run so overall pretty dangerous.
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Sep 3, 2015 17:50
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Richard McBeef posted:This one time I was sliding into third and I felt a greasy turd. It wasn't diarrhea tho and I made it to a restroom on time. slid into first
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Sep 3, 2015 17:50
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Opened this thread, very nearly read the OP but scrolled past that poo poo. I am a survivor.
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Sep 3, 2015 18:28
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Got stabbed with a used syringe by a junkie because I wouldn't give him a cigarette and didn't catch a thing except for 3 months of no sex with a new girlfriend.
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Sep 3, 2015 18:50
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Zippy the Bummer posted:a couple years back during the run-up to a thunderstorm (clouds were overhead and wind was gusting but rain hadn't started) i was out walking in the pasture and a bolt of lightning struck a metal t-post about 50 yards away I was struck by lightning when I was in my teens. It was very fortunate that it was an indirect hit, but it was enough to give me a good throw and some bruises, but no other serious injuries that I know of. ...guess that's not so much a close call as it is just a call...
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Sep 3, 2015 20:04
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Safety First posted:I was struck by lightning when I was in my teens. It was very fortunate that it was an indirect hit, but it was enough to give me a good throw and some bruises, but no other serious injuries that I know of. You didn't get one of those awesome scars from it did you?
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Sep 3, 2015 20:06
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i almost clicked on op's thread once
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Sep 3, 2015 20:07
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one time i was jacking off and almost jizzed on my own beard but i dodged that poo poo like the matrix then cleaned up and spiked the kleenex into the trash can like 
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Sep 3, 2015 20:09
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Broenheim posted:i almost clicked on op's thread once but you did
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Sep 3, 2015 20:10
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Funky See Funky Do posted:You didn't get one of those awesome scars from it did you? I wish...would have at least given me something to show for the experience. Had some light burn marks on my back but that healed after a couple of weeks and wasn't very impressive to see.
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Sep 3, 2015 20:11
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Safety First posted:I wish...would have at least given me something to show for the experience. Had some light burn marks on my back but that healed after a couple of weeks and wasn't very impressive to see. That's a real shame. Those are so cool. As soon as I saw one I started researching ways to get struck by lightning safely. As far as I know it can't be done.
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Sep 3, 2015 20:14
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deep impact on vhs posted:but you did ohhhhh fuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk
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Sep 3, 2015 20:15
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