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 Greetings, true believers! It’s your ol’ pal Stan the Man Lee here, ready to welcome you to the next action-packed ish of your favorite fighting mutants, UFC 191: Johnson vs. Dodson 2, 10 p.m. ET Saturday, Sept. 5, only on PPV! Don’t post streams, or you’ll find yourself at the mercy of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants! Even though my books are chock full of crazy combat, not many folks know I’m a big fan of martial arts. It’s also not too common when the main event features two outspoken fans of the books I’ve worked so hard to make. So without much ado, ol’ Stan is here to guide you through this weekend’s main card. Excelsior! For the flyweight title  vs.  Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson is the tiniest male champ in the UFC . But don’t worry , he may be the size of a baby, but he maintains the full power of a normal-sized baby in his speedier package! Mighty Mouse is the UFC’s one and only flyweight champ, and has only gotten better since the first time he faced John Dodson (a Fight of the Night, by the way!) So the Ninja Turtles aren’t one of my books, but all you True Believers out there will know they’re modeled after a friend’s. The original Ninja Turtles were a parody of Daredevil as interpreted by Frank Miller. But instead of recklessly sleeping around with Greek oil baronesses and beating prostitutes like Daredevil (or Frank,) Dodson knocks people loopy and then laughs and does backflips. He was on the losing end of their first bout, but while he nursed and injury and had a lackluster return to the cage, Mighty Mouse has only looked better and better. Can he somehow come from behind and win the rematch? Stay tuned… Heavyweight  vs.  The Belarusian Bruiser is back! This former champ earned the belt from Tim Sylvia way back in Issue 51 against his arch-enemy Tim Sylvia. Now he’s back to fight for the belt against another big fat former champ. Arlovski went through a dark time in the 2000s becoming a stock character to lose in the first few pages as a callback joke. But he’s back in the reboot and looking as dangerous as ever, KOing Travis Browne and Bigfoot Silva after turning Brendan Schaub into a chipmunk from the bottom. Furious Frank Mir is also just emerging from his own personal Negative Zone. Mir was on a deadly four-fight losing streak before pulling it together to KO Bigfoot and Duff-Man.* The two-time champion may well go for a third belt after this, at the ripe old age of 36. This one’s sure to end explosively! *ED Note: Appeared in Fight Night: Issues 61 and 71! Light Heavyweight  vs.  When he’s not taking them out on women, Rumble Johnson eats his feelings. The once-somehow-welterweight has a win at heavyweight over Arlovski and was nearly crowned champ at 205, after missing weight by 12 pounds at middleweight against Vitor Belfort. I hope he likes canned food, because that’s what he’s got in Jimi Manuwa. Like Luke Cage, he was a troubled youth in and out of detention centers for gang-related violence before turning a new leaf and fighting for justice. Also like Luke Cage, he’s stupid and no one by Archie Goodwin cares about him. If he wins, it’s by shamanistic leg-breaking rituals. Light Heavyweight  vs.  The Punchy Pole Jan Blachowicz is No. 12! Somehow. After looking at Corey Anderson’s body, I owe Rob Liefeld an apology for punching him in the dick at Comic-Con ’94. It turns out a human body actually CAN look like that. Strawweight  vs.  The Powerful 12-Guage Paige VanZant has captured the eye of her employers at a young age – and quite a few skeezy fans at that. Good grief, True Believers! But don’t worry, Ol’ Stan knows a rising star when he sees one. When I met Steve Ditko, he was a struggling art student and Jack Kirby hadn’t even gotten to him. When I first saw him he was a eating old hot dogs out of a trashcan on 23rd and 3rd in Manhattan, outside of the old Cartoonists and Illustrators School. I went upstairs to look at some art as a favor to Jerry Robinson and before Ditko could make it back to his desk and stop me, I took a look at his portfolio. He had several sketches clearly labeled “SEX SUIT” of this intricate body suit with little glider wings under the arms so he could fly around and look at girls in the showers. 12 years later, it was the basis for our design for Spider-Man. Anyway, Tecia Torres was VanZant’s trashcan full of hot dogs and Felice Herrig was her fortuitous pervert sketches. She’s hoping to turn Alex Chambers into her big break at Marvel Studios! I’ll be honest with you, Ol’ Stan’s rooting against Astro Girl here. Anime really rustles my jimmies, (although those otaku nerds will buy up drat near anything you poo poo out that they have to read backwards.) Realistically though, she’s a reasonable opponent for Paige VanZant right now. She’s only lost to people you’ve heard of, and most of her wins come by submission. Should be a real whizzer of a fight, True Believers! OTHER poo poo TO WATCH Fox Sports 1 prelims, 8 p.m. ET Lightweight Ross Pearson vs. Paul Felder Bantamweight Francisco Rivera vs. John Lineker Women's Bantamweight Jessica Andrade vs. Raquel Pennington Featherweight Clay Collard vs. Tiago Trator UFC Fight Pass Early Prelims, 7 p.m. ET Middleweight Joe Riggs vs. Ron Stallings Lightweight Joaquim Silva vs. Nazareno Malegarie Official Weigh-Ins, 7 p.m. ET Friday, Sept. 4 http://www.ufc.com/media/ufc-191-official-weigh-in OFFICIAL MMA SNACK RATING: Something out of Ol’ Stan the Man’s Beachside Food Cart 
Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 04:51 on Sep 4, 2015 |
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Sep 4, 2015 04:36
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Le Saboteur posted:What Marvel character is Joe Riggs? Morbius probably. E: forgot about FrankenCastle
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Sep 4, 2015 05:14
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I don't think VanZant beats JJ or Gadelha, but if I had to pick one she's got the better chance it's probably Gadelha due to less refined striking. So if she wins maybe they'll fast-track Paige.
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Sep 4, 2015 17:27
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As a prelude to the weighins, UFC is launching some press event ft. McGregor, Cormier and a shitton of other fighters on UFC.com right about now.
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Sep 4, 2015 20:49
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Weigh ins are live btw, so far Joe Riggs missed weight.
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Sep 5, 2015 00:12
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CommonShore posted:Doesn't Mir have the most UFC fights out of all actifve UFC fighters? That's pretty impressive, too, considering the amount of damage he has taken over the years. I don't think so, but he is the winningest ufc heavyweight.
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Sep 5, 2015 17:15
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Now I've got to add "made me root for Joe Riggs in 2015" to the long list of Lloyd Irvin's terrible crimes. e: to be fair, unironically walking out to Whitesnake would have made me root for him anyway.
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Sep 6, 2015 00:33
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These two human beings are the same age.
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Sep 6, 2015 00:36
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Joe Riggs: Fightmaster
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Sep 6, 2015 00:48
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Upon returning to the UFC after winning Bellator's TUF knockoff, Joe Riggs has: *Delayed his return upon shooting himself in the hand *Losing the Saunders fight after busting his own neck in a suplex *Lost to Patrick Cote *Earned a DQ win off an illegal upkick that he used as a scapegoat for his legitimate eye injury The greatest 58-fight career in UFC history, IMO.
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Sep 6, 2015 00:51
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20-18 Johnson. Dodson's TDD is unreal.
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Sep 6, 2015 05:28
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| # ¿ May 6, 2024 00:45 |
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Sep 6, 2015 22:14
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