how does it work when people marry prisoners??

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > how does it work when people marry prisoners??

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i used to work with this girl named breezy and she was pretty nice, we lived in the same apartment thingy so we'd smoke pot an watch teh big lebowski sometimes but she was pretty dumb but nice like i said and free with her ganja so it was a cool coworker relationship

anyway she moved away to a california place and i saw on facebook that she got married. the fresh hubby is serving a life sentence in a prison. i dont even know how she met him but it was weird to me because shes like 26 or something and has a lil son and like, why a lifetime prisoner murderer? he is a rapper too and records his raps onto an iphone that i assume if the movies are correct was in a butt once and thats how it came inside of the prison, inside a butt. anyway he records his raps and uploads them to the internet and she's always sharin his raps on facebook. she makes cute lil photoshops of pictures of him inside his prison room, wearin his blue outfit, and she puts herself next to him an makes it look like theyre not separated by all sorts of concrete and steel and razor wire.

so that seems weird to me

but weirder still - they are now getting a divorce. like what the gently caress could have happened for her to be like "ok i could deal with him being a murderer in a prison for all of his days but now this thing has happened and it is all too much, i must leave my prison husband"???

are conjugal visits a real thing or one of those tv only things? like do you guys think they ever got to gently caress? it would be pretty dumb to marry someone and notfuck them. she's got really big cans. i bet he loved those jimmyjams. but did he ever get to see them up close and not thru a plexi glass? i guess maybe she could have snap chatted them to his iphone (the butt one)

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 08:02

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:57

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

SirEvelynTremble posted:

aww ma and pa tremble? i have no family photos of my ma and pa. did your parents not do sex? i think mine did, like at least twice (me and the lil sis) and i caught my pops eatin out my mama on the couch once

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 08:08

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

symbolic posted:

big lebowski is a great film and she sounds like a good person op

she is a very sweet person with a kind heart

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 08:09

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

SirEvelynTremble posted:

Yes my parents were Rock Hudson and Doris Day

Daddy used to say i;m gay

wow if he only knew the trend he started lol hahaha

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 08:13

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

was daddy rock in prison too?

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 08:13

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

movies told me gay stuff happens in prison

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 08:13

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Jukeboxblues posted:

Are you sure the dude isn't breaking up with her? that would be hilarious. "Honey I know that you married me even though I am a person in prison with no contact with females BUT you gotta stop sending me so many letters. I need my space. Jeeze, you are suffocating me in here. Yeah, and you are a lovely listener! Gosh drat it!"

And conjugal visits are real, but you gotta have good behavior or something IIRC. By good behavior I mean no stabbing/beating-the-poo poo-out-of someone

quote:

Now here u go again u say u want to freedom...well who am I to keep u down

posted this on fb today so you might be right lmfao

"honey im sorry but i need my freedom... my prison freedom."

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 09:55

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

whoflungpoop posted:

i always cry at weddings

yowza! look at that porcelain faced beauty! i'd be plannin my prison break right at this very moment instead of posting on gbs if i had that lil cutiepie waiting on the outside

the great deceiver posted:

the classic film "U-571" changed my views on gay marriage

copped my first blowjay durin that movie, lil gatekeeper became a man under a massive bon jovi face

very profound stuff imo

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 15:40

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Titter posted:

Yeah, uhh, we're talking about people in prison here - it's pretty much a given that they've got zero of the highlighted. So that's no help at all.

dont prisonshame

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 15:41

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

SirEvelynTremble posted:

Now that gay marriage is a thing prisoners can marry each other

and if it doesnt work out you can take those cool prison courses to become a lawyer and represemt yourself in the divorce trial

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 15:49

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:57

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

JnnyThndrs posted:

Oh yeah, phones go inside condoms, THEN inside the rectum. You can tell how wealthy an inmate is by the shape of his rear end in a top hat- if it's shaped like a pack of playing cards, he's got a smartphone, if it's shaped like a candy bar, he's a nobody with a dumbphone. I'm not joking

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 17:42

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > how does it work when people marry prisoners??