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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > biking 20 miles a day and still fat
 
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 i go faster than everybody else passing everybody doing 20 miles 4 miles up hill and i am still skinny fat plz help

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 00:01
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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 06:32
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 :smith:

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 00:10
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 I dont know how to lift weights

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 00:11
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 I've drank three beers today so far :smith:

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 00:12
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 Sorry forgot to add i have only been biking for a week and before that just playing games and bbqing chicken. Where are my gains tho

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 00:52
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

Top City Homo posted:

are uy still fat as ffuck you human being op ?


huH>?>>>???

last i checked YES

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 17:04
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

Punch Card posted:

have u tried GORP GORP GORP!?!?!

sorry im not in on this new and fascinating meme

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 17:20
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

numberoneposter posted:

you need to do intervals and 20 miles lmao ur making me chuckle but i guess you gotta start somewhere. people saying cycling wont make you skinny and buff arent pedaling hard enough. to be sure you arnt gonna get huge biceps and upper body that easily but frankly if you sprint harsh enough you are still get some upper body work done but its def. an afterthought!!! so maybe hit the gym too OP.

do you own a HR monitor? you should get one if you are considering using cycling for fitness or dont but HR is a good way to gauge your efforts

then do a series of intervals. cycling isnt supposed to be fun. warm up then ride at slightly above your functional power for 10 minutes or until you blow up. then rest 5 minutes. then do that 3-5 more times. best if you can find a long steady hill to ride up.

when you feel like you arnt having any fun at all soft pedal for 15 minutes then you start to do a series of up to 10 repetitions of 10-20 second MAX POWER efforts. take 2 minutes rest between efforts. you should feel like you are going to puke at this point.

i know these are a lot of words but if you want to get fast on a bike and not be fat you must do intervals. there are like a million variations of intervals just do what you think will help

you must look god drat retarded on your bike when you do 10-20 seconds of MAX POWER lmfao

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 17:56
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 nerd

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 17:56
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 lmao says the guy who bikes around looking like he's about to puke all the time

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 18:01
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

Internetjack posted:

Good job on asking for advice, ignoring all the good advice given, and acting like a smug idiot.

Please turn this into a goon digging a hole thread. Those are always fun.

yeah becasue when i post in gbs asking how to not be fat while simultaneously mentioning i drank three beers and don't lift weights im looking for serious advice :smug:

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 18:04
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

DeadBlack posted:

You could always just keep getting fatter as your metabolism slows down to an elderly creep and play off your disgusting body as a kind of joke and be a cool funny fat guy like chris farely and die horribly in a pile of cocaine vomit and depression

finally some good advice

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 18:06
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

numberoneposter posted:

i drank 10 beers and a mickey of whiskey last night dont be such a loving pussy

i think we know now why you can only keep up max power for 30 seconds before u puke

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 18:08
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

rezatahs posted:

"oh wow, you look like you bicycle!" - something literally nobody has said since the beginning of time

ill be the first

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 21:15
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007

Amnomia posted:

OP your probably one of those noob b*tches that downshifts all the way going up a hill and looks like a noob f*ggot pedaling a million rpm yet literally travels slower than a small child crawling. noob

actually this is true but only because my high gears are completely out of tune and i can't even use the big gear

* # ¿ Sep 20, 2015 22:47
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 Don't know how

* # ¿ Sep 21, 2015 00:58
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 just lol if you wear that spandex poo poo while you bike

* # ¿ Sep 21, 2015 01:57
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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 06:32
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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



 im getting really sick of your poo poo

* # ¿ Sep 21, 2015 02:00
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > biking 20 miles a day and still fat