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goatse.cx haver posted:BET YALL COWARDS DONT EVEN SMOKE CRACK whats up with that
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Oct 13, 2015 15:57
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 15:38 |
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i smoke crack all the time. sometimes i smoke 2 cracks
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Oct 13, 2015 16:00
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yall leave op alone he is my friend
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Oct 13, 2015 16:02
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Gnossiennes posted:naw, it's only exciting because i once kinda knew the guy I apologize for all those times I called you while out of my mind on Ecstasy. To this day, my friend still claims he hosed a girl in the rear end and that she wasn't a transexual.
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Oct 13, 2015 16:10
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precision posted:
that is not a crazy claim, it happens please fill in your stories! I would like to hear them
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Oct 13, 2015 16:14
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OP give us your primo poo poo, right now, up front so far your stories have maybe been a 4/10, give us your best story so we can tell if there's any point continuing to read thread i mean, ike, if your best story is a 5 then pack it in, if its a 9 then i'll hang around
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Oct 13, 2015 16:22
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Well, OK. One night I came home from work and used the back door, which required taking a very narrow fire escape type metal staircase to the fourth floor. I heard all kinds of cursing from above but the gay/not-gay rednecks lived next to the door so I assumed it was their normal shenanigans. I started up, my hands full, a box of food from work in one hand and a bag with beer in the other. When I got up to the third floor, the argument above me escalated and one of the redneck guys was propelled outward, face first, grabbing the waist-high railing and very nearly falling completely over it. "SON A BITCH" he screamed and turned around, unbalancing himself in the process and falling towards me. Very slowly falling. Slow enough that I was able to just scramble back down the stairs a bit. Just as a bent to lay my poo poo down so I could help the guy hopefully not-die, I hear a gunshot and freeze. It sounded close, like across the street close. Across the street was a church, on whose steps Angry Buff Crackhead often drank or smoked crack with an assortment of other people. One of these, let's call him "Raspberry" because hopefully there's no way that's his actual name, was standing with a gun in his hand. Angry Buff Crackhead was laughing hysterically. Around this time redneck sort of slumps against my legs, with barely enough force to upset my balance. I threw the box of work food because half a sundried tomato and pepperoni pizza was not worth breaking multiple bones and used that hand to steady myself. The beer, acting as a counterweight, swung me around harder with the end result being that I was halfway off the staircase, with one hand on the broken railing and one foot on the top rung of the ladder down to the street, and my body facing the church and exposed. Angry Buff Crackhead was still laughing uproariously and said something to Raspberry, who takes another shot - hitting my beer and causing it to explode all over my leg. "HEY!" I shouted. "DUDE! loving WHAT THE gently caress!" Or words to that effect. ABC yells something about "Just having fun" and "rubber bullets" and he starts running toward me, presumably to like, help me or some poo poo. Before he can even cross the street, three cop cars converge on the corner at once. Raspberry immediately runs away, with the rest of the crowd, and every single one of the cops focuses on ABC. First they point guns at him and yell "ON THE GROUND, friend of the family!" which first of all, rude, and secondly, he was on his way to help me, so gently caress off pigs. It took them only a second though to I guess notice he wasn't the one with the gun, so they swarmed him and started going all LAPD on his unfortunate rear end. Realizing the beer was busted anyway I dropped it, and still hanging on like an idiot, instead of pulling myself up I pulled out my phone. Oh yeah, I should probably mention I was really drunk. Anyway, I started to take video of this event, but just a couple seconds into it I got a call from this guy I worked with, who asked "DO YOU WANNA GO SKINNY DIPPING WITH ME AND THIS HOT CHICK AT THE QUARRY I STOLE A BUNCH OF WINE FROM WORK". I don't know why he was yelling, but it startled me and I dropped the phone. One of the cops must have heard it, as he turned and got out his gun halfway before seeing that I was unarmed. He jogged over and reached a hand up, at which point I let go and basically fell on him. This got everyone's attention, and suddenly the cops stopped beating on ABC (and he stopped beating on them). Nobody said anything for a solid 30 seconds, except the fallen redneck, who mumbled "urrggggggg". Without a word, every cop matter-of-factly got into their cars and drove away. ABC bought us a 24 pack and I was extremely hungover at work the next day.
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Oct 13, 2015 17:18
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to live and die in LA
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Oct 13, 2015 17:38
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op, could you please answer my question from the first page of whether or not you smoked/smoke crack? thanks
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Oct 14, 2015 02:03
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I am sorry your beer was shot
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Oct 14, 2015 02:10
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Last place i lived i found a crack pipe when i moved in. It said 'sweet puff' down the side.
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Oct 14, 2015 02:11
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Isaac posted:Last place i lived i found a crack pipe when i moved in. It said 'sweet puff' down the side. oh thats mine, my name is sweet puff
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Oct 14, 2015 02:12
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this was a loving poo poo thread and i hated it, i rate it 2/10 wouldn't even vomit it back up because then i'd have to taste it agai
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Oct 14, 2015 09:46
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Enfield posted:oh thats mine, my name is sweet puff Thats also my name
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Oct 14, 2015 10:04
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white mans burping posted:this was a loving poo poo thread and i hated it, i rate it 2/10 wouldn't even vomit it back up because then i'd have to taste it agai Dont give me this poo poo. The only numbers you can vote for are between 1 and 6, theres no 2/10. Unless you are saying you voted it a 3 which makes NO sense.
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Oct 14, 2015 10:06
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Goons are awesome, because they are so coddled and angsty and they know they can't justify it. OP, you're a soldier. Keep on.
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Oct 14, 2015 10:10
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youre bad at imagining what its like to live outside of your moms basement OP
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Oct 14, 2015 11:45
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Enfield posted:i smoke crack all the time. sometimes i smoke 2 cracks i am a crack house
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Oct 14, 2015 11:50
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I smoked what I was told was crack once but I think it was ice and I had a really lovely time trying to sleep before work.
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Oct 14, 2015 11:52
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I like your thread OP, don't let these dudes get you down.
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Oct 14, 2015 11:58
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Crack smoking trip report. It was really good. I'd like to smoke more crack in the future or right now. Definitely right now. Crack is great.
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Oct 14, 2015 12:02
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could you change the setting to a crack house 30 years in the future like with ABC downloading crack with a 3dPocketPrinter and make one of the rednecks be Han Solo
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Oct 14, 2015 12:11
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so you know how people joke about sucking dick for crack- how would one get in on that?
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Oct 14, 2015 12:17
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Germstore posted:so you know how people joke about sucking dick for crack- how would one get in on that? be in a crack house, and not have crack
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Oct 14, 2015 12:24
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So there's not like an app or something? Like Uber but for sucking a dick for crack? I should write one, but I pawned my laptop.
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Oct 14, 2015 12:33
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sauer kraut posted:Maybe a few lighthearted prostitute anecdotes to ease the tension? Julia taught me how to touch a woman, and I'd go forward in my adult life cherishing those experiences and passing them along with my future partners between herpes outbreaks I will always remeber her friend Tiny, an ironic name if I ever heard one as he was 6'4" tall and not a pound under 250. He was very protective of Julia, always checking in and asking if 'there a problem' and if 'he got the bills' The Noble Nobbler posted:Goons are awesome, because they are so coddled and angsty and they know they can't justify it. this life of luxury and excess I lead, where i spent 10bux on an internet forum eight years ago instead of crack Willfrey fucked around with this message at 12:49 on Oct 14, 2015 |
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Oct 14, 2015 12:46
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Enfield posted:how about you go gently caress yourself How about you go bur <drat>
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Oct 14, 2015 14:32
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enfield comin' fast and hard with the burns ITT
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Oct 14, 2015 16:33
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really turning up the heat, some may say
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Oct 14, 2015 16:33
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enfield really taking the OP and dousing him with lighter fluid and setting him on fire in a coke-induced psychosis, leaving him in months of physical rehab wherein he learns nothing from the experience, some may say
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Oct 14, 2015 16:35
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I'm out of crack again.
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Oct 14, 2015 16:40
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Anyone want to smoke some crack and eat pizza hut? I have PlayStation and we can even touch noodles if u want?
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Oct 14, 2015 16:43
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hard drugs are fun and cool and definitely not a smokescreen escape act for a lovely life and personality lets continue to make light of these zany cocaine enthusiasts "gently caress my tight primo fuckhole for a crack"
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Oct 14, 2015 16:48
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ScrotoTurboSperg posted:enfield really taking the OP and dousing him with lighter fluid and setting him on fire in a coke-induced psychosis, leaving him in months of physical rehab wherein he learns nothing from the experience, some may say 
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Oct 14, 2015 16:50
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Oct 14, 2015 16:52
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Oct 14, 2015 16:53
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Oct 14, 2015 16:53
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Oct 14, 2015 16:53
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have you ever done crack, on weed???
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Oct 14, 2015 16:53
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great story about the crackhouse fire OP, heres the thing though: you should have stayed in bed that morning > 8 )
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Oct 14, 2015 16:54
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