Seventh (yes, SEVENTH) annual Awful Christmas Music jamboree!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Seventh (yes, SEVENTH) annual Awful Christmas Music jamboree!

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

(Using the audio tag because god knows not everything submitted can be considered 'music')

It's that time of year again! It's the SEVENTH ANNUAL AWFUL CHRISTMAS MUSIC thread!

Yes, AGAIN!

What's this all about then? Well, since 2009, the glorious goons of Something Awful have come together either out of genuine holiday spirit or a seething bottled-up feeling of pure malice to produce some of the best/worst christmas music ever imagined! And this year should be no different!

Q: How should I submit stuff?
A: Tindeck works well, but really any service you guys want to use that allows someone to actually download the file. The Tindeck guys have made a new site, Kicktone, a few years back, so we might use that to actually host the full album once it's completed.

Q: What's the deadline?
A: The deadline is DECEMBER 20th!!!!

Q: What if I can't sing?
A: I don't care, no one cares. That makes it better. Alternatively, you could learn to sing. OR, and this has worked in the past, post your lyrics! I'm sure some goon who can/also can't sing will belt something out that's great/passable/horrible.

Q: What should I write in my post to signify a submission vs just posting an awful track I like?
A: To make it MUCH easier to look for submissions, please include the following in your post:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

Yes, bolded and capitalized, please. I want to make sure we don't miss anything whatsoever, because it's all gold. Even the horrible poo poo. Also, you're more than welcome to post great tracks made in years past, since there are way too many gems/turds to post in this OP. Speaking of which...

Some tracks you might remember:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puTsbvGEK68

And something I did that a lot of people have told me they liked:

Actually, if you're at all interested in checking out the albums from Christmas Past (2009-2012), my husband Rupert Buttermilk still has them hosted on his site, http://www.robotcousin.com/awful-xmas-2012

Click here for 2013's album

Click here for last year's Hollycaust

Threads from Christmas Past: (currently, I guess archives are down, but hopefully these will be up soon.)

A Something Awful Christmas - two whole albums full of musical blasphemy! (2009)

A Something Awful Christmas Part Deux - Let's make more Christmas "music"! (2010)

Something Awful Christmas III - Let's make more Christmas "music" Again! (2011)

A Something Awful Christmas IV - Download the finished album of holiday horrors now! (2012)

[War On Christmas] The 5th Annual Something Awful Christmas Album... IS COMPLETE (2013)

A Something Awful Christmas VI - This poo poo is COMPLIZZAY! (2014)

This is the wonderfal promo for the 2012 album, Merry Christmas and the Infinite Santa (promo and art by fellow goon, reubennase)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sHWCzM6W3Q

Alright, goons, less talk, more rock. Get on this and make something horrible. Don't disappoint me!!!

:siren:

Hey everyone, read this! :siren:

An Ounce of Gold had a great idea. Record reaction videos to songs if you can. I know in previous years, retail goons played awful music over loudspeakers while at work and had some great fun. I'd love to see family, friends, strangers, whoever reacting to this godawful mess of music.

jennyinstereo fucked around with this message at 15:58 on Dec 16, 2015

# ¿ Nov 1, 2015 16:11

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:42

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

Haschel Cedricson posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

This may be the second-stupidest thing I've ever made for one of these albums.

And looking through my music library, there a few of us who have submitted enough tracks over the years to make a few single-artist albums.

This is loving terrible. I love it!

# ¿ Nov 2, 2015 18:17

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

This is wonderful... but it is officially under the tree?

EDIT: Ok, so this has already gotten off to a wonderful start. I mean, Just in the past 9-10 days, there have been 7 tracks made for this album already (8 if you count the sped-up Chipmunks version). This is great, guys. Jenny and I are going to be working on ours soonish.

I was thinking about how we could use our musical powers for good (while also using them for evil, meaning the songs themselves). Every year, there are countless goons who chime in about how this album makes their year. 'It isn't christmas without more awful music'. Well, that's fantastic, it really is. But maybe we can do better.

I was thinking about the possibility of setting up some sort of donation to charity tied to the album. I'm not saying the album would cost anything, it would still be completely free to download and/or stream, but perhaps there could be a donation set up to help out people in need at christmas. Maybe those who aren't up for creating a track would be ok with donating instead, and then we could raise some truly GOOD will along with the ire and glares from everyone who hates all of this music.

I've never set up a charity donation before, so any and all advice is welcome. Is this a good idea at all? Is it viable? Do you think we could actually raise a significant amount of money? I'd love to try.

I think our awful music is a gift in itself! But seriously, I think that's a great idea. Goons usually have a good idea as to what charities are reputable and which ones aren't. Anyone know who we could donate to and how?

Also, good work goons! These songs are more terrible than ever! I especially liked the Alvin & the Chipmunks songs :allears:

# ¿ Nov 10, 2015 14:36

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

OMGVBFLOL posted:

i taught myself how to use a midi thing

:metal: MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE :metal:

Ahahahaha wow, this might be the worst one I've ever heard. Congrats.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2015 14:37

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

These are all so great! I'm still trying to think up a few songs of my own, and can't wait to contribute. It wouldn't be an awful Christmas without my awful parodies! Also, I might try to throw together some cover art, but I'd love to see what other people have in mind

# ¿ Nov 23, 2015 19:47

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

JossiRossi posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

Jingle Bawitibas
by: James "Kid Rock Had a Stroke But Sadly No One Noticed" Rossi

Bwahahhahaha holy poo poo this is amazing! Diggy diggy dig! Da bang da bang diggy diggy! This might be the best thing I've ever heard :yayclod:

# ¿ Nov 25, 2015 14:15

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

Johnny Setlist posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

Something gentle and loving...
I would encourage you to listen all the way through because stories.

Enjoy everyone! I love you goons and your awful/brilliant Christmas music.

I always love a Johnny Setlist musical treat!! This is great!

You are all so great! Rupert Buttermilk and I are still working on our contributions but it's hard with a 16 month old running around but we'll get it done :allears:

# ¿ Dec 8, 2015 19:38

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

Rupert Buttermilk and I are almost ready to unleash the sequel to Little Mumble Boy! He's currently downstairs fixing it up and making it extra awful :allears:

# ¿ Dec 14, 2015 03:52

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

CaptainYesterday posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

e: my best attempt at album art. If someone can improve on this, I'd be delighted.

MY FRONT COVER SUGGESTION IS UNDER THE TREE

I love this! I listened to those albums so so so so much when I was younger. It brings back warm and fuzzy holiday memories :allears:

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 15:56

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

Kruxy posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

40ish xmas song ransom note

We have your daughter. If you wanna see Mary ever again, then you better be ready to give us 364 thousand dollars.

Leave it in a sack underneath the tree in the Grand Hotel. Small unmarked bills only.

Don�t try anything. We�ll be watching you. You better not bring in the police. If you do then she�s gonna die, understand?

You have one day. Merry Christmas to you.

Ahahaha this is amazing!!! Very very well done

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 15:57

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

Haschel Cedricson posted:

I was going to record a banjo song about Santa murdering Mrs. Claus, but my basement is flooding and I will have no time. Look out for that next year, I guess.

Loving everyone's submissions.

Oh no! That is terrible! I have no excuse for not getting my submission done! Becoming a parent has drained my brain of all creativity! I'll see if I can get mine done!

# ¿ Dec 18, 2015 19:38

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:42

jennyinstereo: Jan 17, 2007; [rocking faces since the 80s]

Wow! Thank you to ALL of you who submitted, read, listened, contributed, didn't, etc. You're all amazing! Also, a huge huge thank you to Rupert Buttermilk for holding down the fort while I cared for our sick child! Hand foot mouth is a pain in the rear end and blows more than the music in this thread does

I also love love love the new cover art combining the two original covers, and that has my vote. I am so in awe of all of you :allears:

I can't wait til next year and I promise, I will actually get some parodies done.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 16:33

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Seventh (yes, SEVENTH) annual Awful Christmas Music jamboree!