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Special Blend #3 "Cartoon Style" - ShengZan Special Bio-Imports I know it's an off brand, but it came highly recommended by other message board users so I figured I'd give it a shot. First of all, the shipping times are absolutely RIDICULOUS, I could have saved my own loads for how long it took to arrive. Second, due to the wholesale nature of the business (you can purchase through resellers at ridiculous markup) purchases are limited to a 4-barrel pallet minimum. Needless to say I spent a lot of time filling out forms with the Condo Administration just so I could get the forklift to drop the pallet on my balcony. First off, the smell: When you first crack the barrel (after breaking the biohazard seal which I'm assured is just added for effect) you'll be floored by the chemical stench. Somewhere between fibreglass and horse urine, the smell permeates drywall and carpeting so I would suggest using it only on polished and sealed concrete (I opted to lay down tarps). Second, the consistency. The mixture had begun to stratify (or perhaps that is how it is meant to be?) and the texture varied considerable. The stuff near the top was very runny, viscous, sort of like motor oil. Below that was a layer that was sticky and seemed to leave grease marks anywhere it came in contact with anything, even human skin (the burning sensation quickly faded). This second layer seemed to be exactly what I was looking for, though, especially when I used a non-reactive ladle to mix it with the first. Apart from the still pervasive chemical smell it was almost exactly like the semen in my favourite imported cartoons. Long and gleaming white, it would leave sticky strands when pulled away from itself, not unlike pizza cheese. It ran and dribbled just enough, giving us asian cartoon-lovers that much sought after thick, sticky lingering that real semen simply does not provide. I took a day off work, downed a viagra in the morning and brought out my asian schoolgirl love doll and assorted tentacle toys (with real squirting action). Fortunately I was able to slip some earbuds with my j-pop mix under my gas mask (the guys said to get filters for organic vapors, whatever that means) and I began loading my toys. Not long after my first short, two-hour roleplay session I noticed the latex on my toys and the doll was becoming loose. Midway through my second scene the latex had deteriorated completely and I noticed paint beginning to peel from the walls. It was very embarrassing having to explain to the HAZMAT crew that I wasn't in the midst of a chemical spill, but they confiscated the barrels anyway, and I was forced to dispose of my toys *and* my doll. 1/10 would not recommend.
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Nov 22, 2015 08:59
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 10:39 |
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