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so im check ing out at the grocery store a nd im trying to be helpful and everything sinc e they were slammed. i start bag ging my own stuff and everything - i know where it has to go when i get home right? anywhos, this checker pers on says "UHHH!" and is looking at my eggs, she has them open and reveals that one is all fuc ked up. so im like *sigh* hold on a sec, ill grab a new one, but about th at time the bagger guy sh ows up and she makes him go do it. i finish my bagging and all that and then my egg bud dy shows back up. (by this time the line is sta rting to back up) so he h ands the checke r the eggs and says "sorry sir, a lot of the ones i looked at were cracked". im like "whatevs, dude thanks" and then this chick behind me says "must have been pretty funny back in th e *egg* section, everyone is cracking up!" and starts laughing real loud. so the egg-runner guy who should have been bagging my groceries says "that is an EGGcellent pun!" - and every one starts laughing. -pretty good for a stupid kid so im gonna step off and just shut this whole scene down, because I have been in GBS, right? an d know the perfect p un for this situation. i just posted it like a day or 2 ago, it is so lame and dumb but it was per fect, at the time it wasnt but now its just sitting there in my back pocket for no reason. i am going to destroy them.  i choked. i flubbed my line. everyone stopped talking. t hey were all star ing at me like i had 3 heads. peop le from 2 lines over he ard what i said. they basically shut all the conv eyors down. anwhos i thought about it the whole way home and i still cant thinking about what i did to that stupid kid. 
dad gay. so what fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Nov 23, 2015 |
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Nov 23, 2015 00:34
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 19:19 |
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The Great Wall of Text
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Nov 23, 2015 00:35
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you got a face full of cum op
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Nov 23, 2015 00:36
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sounds like things didn't go as you eggspected op
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Nov 23, 2015 00:36
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:The Great Wall of Text
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Nov 23, 2015 00:36
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What was the line?
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Nov 23, 2015 00:37
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ill split up the text a little, sorry for the poor formatting, i want to make sure you arent inconvenienced. brb, but iexpete a better formatted paragraph when i get back. see you soon!
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Nov 23, 2015 00:38
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hell yeah i'm gonna read a dad gay so what wall of text let me at that wall of text lemme read it haha gold material is bound for me god drat it gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress hlaghalghalghalghalgh
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Nov 23, 2015 00:39
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Sorry about the eggs. When I walk by the ladies all seem to drop one
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Nov 23, 2015 00:39
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he whipped out his dingus and asked who wanted to taste his smEGGma
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Nov 23, 2015 00:40
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seems like you got egg on your face
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Nov 23, 2015 00:41
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:he whipped out his dingus and asked who wanted to taste his smEGGma ahahahha "i like football now, guys"
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Nov 23, 2015 00:41
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the liquor and cheeseburgers have let u down.
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Nov 23, 2015 00:41
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im required by law to inform you i'm a registered sEGGS offender.
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Nov 23, 2015 00:41
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cram me sideways posted:hell yeah i'm gonna read a dad gay so what wall of text let me at that wall of text lemme read it haha gold material is bound for me god drat it gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress hlaghalghalghalghalgh gently caress you the op is a top notch high effort gbs quality post
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Nov 23, 2015 00:41
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Take the dicks out of your hands before you post. Also I've never gotten any broken eggs.
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Nov 23, 2015 00:42
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:gently caress you the op is a top notch high effort gbs quality post not anymore  that guy can suck a "dilz" for all i care
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Nov 23, 2015 00:43
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Cool poem op
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Nov 23, 2015 01:08
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Were there any girls in tights hanging around near the checkout?
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Nov 23, 2015 01:08
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Sheep-Goats posted:Were there any girls in tights hanging around near the checkout? holy poo poo dont get me started 
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Nov 23, 2015 01:10
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Nov 23, 2015 01:11
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the really lovely part is that i had the perfect pun for that exact situation. the pun from GBS. i hosed up.
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Nov 23, 2015 01:12
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I identify with this story because I never have clever poo poo to say when golfing or performing sportsman type events with other males. They're all like, "Wet one today, bring yer scuba gear for hole 9!" and I'm like, "lol." and pee my pants because I said "el oh el" off the internet because the sudden social interaction startled me.
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Nov 23, 2015 01:14
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Hehehehe smadj mouth eat the eggs
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Nov 23, 2015 01:15
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op, this is why you will never be the HEAD of a major corporation
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Nov 23, 2015 01:17
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Dave_Indeed posted:I identify with this story because I never have clever poo poo to say when golfing or performing sportsman type events with other males. in that situation i usually say "what was his name??!"
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Nov 23, 2015 01:18
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"This is fine for my stairs? "Yes." "In my house." "Any stairs sir." I carried the small can of Minwax toward the registers but put it down on the shelf part of a displayed barbecue before getting there. I pretended to look at the barbecues while watching two girl clerks sing Push It and do cheerleader moves near their registers. The Asian one had green streaks dyed into her hair. In my car I imagine her laying across my lap on my couch, she's so protected.
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Nov 23, 2015 01:34
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The Cluck Meme
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Nov 23, 2015 01:35
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sounds like you eggxactly got what you deserved OP.
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Nov 23, 2015 01:38
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dad gay. so what posted:in that situation i usually say "what was his name??!" One time I brought my wife golfing and someone was like, "Wish my caddy looked like that!" and I was like, "Haha! You can pick these up at golf galaxy!" What the gently caress does that mean?
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Nov 23, 2015 01:41
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Sheep-Goats posted:"This is fine for my stairs? bukowski addict found! its ok, i am too kinda. im sure you know my other influence. p.s. thanks for saving my life!
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Nov 23, 2015 01:42
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Op has a soft shell for social situations. Needs to be a little more hard boiled.
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Nov 23, 2015 01:43
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Dave_Indeed posted:One time I brought my wife golfing and someone was like, "Wish my caddy looked like that!" you should be all "SAND TRAP!" then run away lol i dont know what the gently caress that idiot is talking about !!
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Nov 23, 2015 01:44
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Microwaves Mom posted:Op has a soft shell for social situations. Needs to be a little more hard boiled. you should hear what i REALLY said it was so hosed up
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Nov 23, 2015 01:44
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dad gay. so what posted:you should hear what i REALLY said it was so hosed up Did you end up looking like a yolkel in front of everyone?
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Nov 23, 2015 01:46
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Microwaves Mom posted:Did you end up looking like a yolkel in front of everyone? haha i wish, more like a modern day soggren lol
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Nov 23, 2015 01:50
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hey op: i read every word of that
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Nov 23, 2015 01:56
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wiffle ball bat posted:hey op: sorry 
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Nov 23, 2015 01:57
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dad gay. so what posted:haha i wish, more like a modern day soggren lol What did you say?
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Nov 23, 2015 01:57
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 19:19 |
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i hope you die op
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Nov 23, 2015 01:59
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