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Hear any funny local tales & gossip, those of you who went back to your folks' house for the holidays?my dad told me a story about a farmer's market festival thing he was at, where he witnessed a renowned sheep expert judging prize rams (a process which included an appraisal of their balls) then thoughtfully cupping his beard/mouth area in professional contemplation without washing his hands in the interim. that's mine; post yours.Let's generate some content.
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Dec 28, 2015 21:42
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The drat mexians growing pot for the cartels are ruining the environment and doing crimes and poo poo but we cant legalize pot because if it was legal to grow then everyone would be growing huge warehouses of it and using up all the water and energy also the whole drat town is full of meth heads because of the new "catch and release" method of trying to keep down prison population, thanks obummer
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Dec 28, 2015 21:45
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We gotta gypsy that takes his family to the 24 hour grocery store to shoplift while buying some groceries
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Dec 28, 2015 22:37
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there was a crazy homeless guy that lived in the town i grew up in, and the rumor was that he was a secret millionaire who chose to live on the street, and his backpack was filled with cash, like some kind of weird hobo leprechaun.
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Dec 28, 2015 22:39
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JakeP posted:there was a crazy homeless guy that lived in the town i grew up in, and the rumor was that he was a secret millionaire who chose to live on the street, and his backpack was filled with cash, like some kind of weird hobo leprechaun. you shoulda beat him up and taken his backpack, idiot
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Dec 28, 2015 22:40
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i'll post what i hear if i ever end up leaving the house
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Dec 28, 2015 22:45
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"Your uncle Barry and his wife got really into crack. They pulled all the skin off their faces and their teeth turned black!" I think she meant meth.
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Dec 28, 2015 22:49
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There was a recent bust over a bunch of latinos running a brothel over top of the local latin market here a few years back. They got charged with human trafficking and went to jail for a long time.
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Dec 28, 2015 23:02
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I own part of what used to be a stone quarry in the 1800's that is now cool scenery for yuppie fucks to drive through and make up stupid poo poo like it's haunted. Every once in a while I go out there and wait in the dark for fun.
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Dec 28, 2015 23:05
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some idiot was texting his drug dealer for some sweet xany bars and took a turn too wide, smashing into some kid and throwing the kid like 20 feet onto the side walk. dozens of people from all over were walking over to the scene like it was a thing to do. my neighbors asked me if i wanted to go see and i was like, "no thanks." if i want to see dead people i do it on the internet because it's less of an impact on my psyche.
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Dec 28, 2015 23:08
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Dave_Indeed posted:I own part of what used to be a stone quarry in the 1800's that is now cool scenery for yuppie fucks to drive through and make up stupid poo poo like it's haunted. Every once in a while I go out there and wait in the dark for fun. You should make a thread about this with photos
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Dec 28, 2015 23:08
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Dave_Indeed posted:I own part of what used to be a stone quarry in the 1800's that is now cool scenery for yuppie fucks to drive through and make up stupid poo poo like it's haunted. Every once in a while I go out there and wait in the dark for fun. also you kill them and bury them in the mineshaft for fun
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Dec 28, 2015 23:09
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A girl in high school supposedly shot a porn with like 5 dudes from school. Looked her up on Facebook recently and she has 7 kids with 4 different men, so story checks out.
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Dec 28, 2015 23:10
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Fluo posted:You should make a thread about this with photos
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Dec 28, 2015 23:11
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I was hoping there would be some cool serial killer burial sites in Denver, but there don't seem to be any Denver serial killers. WTF?
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Dec 28, 2015 23:45
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OctoberBlues posted:I was hoping there would be some cool serial killer burial sites in Denver, but there don't seem to be any Denver serial killers. WTF? sounds like it's time for you to kick off a trend
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Dec 28, 2015 23:48
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Holy poo poo they just blew a bridge!! It was a scheduled demolition and the detoured traffic is a real pain in the dick.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:04
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there was a kid named tiki tiki tembo no sa rem bo charlie barley roochi pip berry pem bo (tikitikitembonosarembocharliebarleyroochipipberrypembo) who fell down a well, and his brother tried to save him by running to all the villagers but his name took so long to say that he died down there. it was really sad and changed the way people name things around here. really sad. 
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Dec 29, 2015 00:07
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvia_Likens https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gertrude_Baniszewski My grandpa almost ended up on the latter's jury but he went all Sam Jackson "Yes I believe they deserve to die and I hope they burn in Hell!" On them during jury selection. Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 00:25 on Dec 29, 2015 |
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Dec 29, 2015 00:13
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I know the mccanns irl the mum worked at my doctors office
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Dec 29, 2015 00:23
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My father's coworker was lead out of the lab one day by the NCIS. There's a machine they use that heats up gold and other metals so it begins to evaporate and the particals land on slides making gold mirrors. After a while a bunch of gold particles get caked onto the housing and have to be scrubbed off. He asked those in charge what to do with the leftover gold and they told him to dispose it since it's technically waste. He asked if he should recycle it, but they said all the gold had to be thrown away. What he did was take all the gold scraping, did some chemistry to purify it and turned it into a solid gold nugget the size of his fist. He took it to a pawn shop and turns out they have to report everything they buy for over $10k. Well he got reported and the Naval Criminal Investigative Services arrested him one day at work. Dad says he can probably get off with a good lawyer but he'll never work at the lab again. Apparently he was a really really valuable employee, lol. Moral of the story, if you work for the government lab, throw away their gold and don't pawn it off.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:23
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Hector Beerlioz posted:My father's coworker was lead out of the lab one day by the NCIS. No the moral of the story is shove it up your rear end and sell it in Mexico.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:26
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Nigmaetcetera posted:No the moral of the story is shove it up your rear end and sell it in Mexico. No the moral of the story is to slowly turn your furniture into gold!!
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Dec 29, 2015 00:30
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Nigmaetcetera posted:No the moral of the story is shove it up your rear end and sell it in Mexico. this or dont loving pawn the whole giant thing that has to be reported at once, sell it in small increments to different pawn shops loving dummy
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Dec 29, 2015 00:30
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Nooner posted:this or dont loving pawn the whole giant thing that has to be reported at once, sell it in small increments to different pawn shops loving dummy Very smart people are actually very dumb.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:33
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most of these tales are some pretty heavy poo poo..do ye have more lighthearted stuff?for example, around this time of year many moons ago when i was 12, i happened upon a local character doing a big cackling piss into the town's nativity scene display while i was out skateboarding.he was uncomplicated to begin with but the lovely old bar hicks liked to get him drunk for lols (funny in this instance, reprehensible overall) so i think he also developed alcoholism .
Faux-Ass Nonsense fucked around with this message at 00:37 on Dec 29, 2015 |
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Dec 29, 2015 00:35
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found forest porn in the forest out behind my house when I was like... 10? 12? My point is forest porn is real.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:36
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Faux-rear end Nonsense posted:most of these tales are some pretty heavy poo poo..do ye have more lighthearted stuff? Our neighbors kitty cat escaped and wandered into our front yard where I played with it for a while before returning it. Apparently it got out a day or so later and raced directly to my house but I wasn't home to play with it.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:38
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half my city doesn't have power for some reason?? not my half tho
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Dec 29, 2015 00:40
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the cops in my city found two dead people stuck in mid coitus. apparently they both died from heart attacks at the same time. about a block away from my house they found a dead homeless man frozen solid. i guess it was cold that night.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:41
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Faux-rear end Nonsense posted:most of these tales are some pretty heavy poo poo..do ye have more lighthearted stuff?for example, around this time of year many moons ago when i was 12, i happened upon a local character doing a big cackling piss into the town's nativity scene display while i was out skateboarding.he was uncomplicated to begin with but the lovely old bar hicks liked to get him drunk for lols (funny in this instance, reprehensible overall) so i think he also developed alcoholism I saw the same guy but his DNA was found on a teen runaway's corpse found on a crude wooden altar in the woods (true detective season 1 style). He was executed via lethal injection but something went wrong and he started screaming in agony and futilely attempting to repent his sins as he was being killed. Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Dec 29, 2015 |
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Dec 29, 2015 00:43
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Wendigee posted:found forest porn in the forest out behind my house when I was like... 10? 12? I also found forest porn around that age, as did several of my friends. What sort of madman is traversing this nation's forests dropping porn like a porn fairy? The stuff I found was a mixture of "Oui" and "Swedish Erotica" (they didn't look Swedish). My friend Derrick found some but it was a bunch of magazines called "Beautiful men's asses", so we didn't all find good stuff.
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Dec 29, 2015 00:59
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Hector Beerlioz posted:My father's coworker was lead out of the lab one day by the NCIS. goddamn..poor guy.still, weird fuckup to make considering how methodical the purification process probably is. a local policewoman was recently caught cutting up lines with her ID card in a bar.also supplying info to dealers
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Dec 29, 2015 01:01
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Fluo posted:You should make a thread about this with photos Don't tell me what to do. You're not even my real dad.
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Dec 29, 2015 01:03
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Faux-rear end Nonsense posted:goddamn..poor guy.still, weird fuckup to make considering how methodical the purification process probably is. gently caress morons. i mean gently caress her for being a corrupt rear end cop who probably caused more misery on her beat than she stopped but how loving moronic do you have to be do chop lines at the bar?
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Dec 29, 2015 01:04
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Faux-rear end Nonsense posted:goddamn..poor guy.still, weird fuckup to make considering how methodical the purification process probably is. Yeah, apparently he got divorced and was just starting to get back on track emotionally. It's a sad story all around.
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Dec 29, 2015 01:05
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I saw some idiot hydroplane and subsequently fishtail a few times in the rain today and almost crash his new-looking sports car. Also a bit south of me a truck driver collapsed a small bridge because she didn't know how many pounds the 6 ton weight limit was or how heavy her truck was (it was 30 tons). She's being fined $135.
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Dec 29, 2015 01:16
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There's a football game here in about half an hour and if the home team loses I think half the city will commit suicide. That could be a cool tale.
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Dec 29, 2015 02:02
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There was a crossbow murder like 6 or 7 years ago
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Dec 29, 2015 02:25
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Wendigee posted:found forest porn in the forest out behind my house when I was like... 10? 12? porn, a single shoe and an unwinded cassette tape in every single forest ever If a forest doesn't have those items its not a forest!!
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Dec 29, 2015 02:56
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