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Jukeboxblues posted:made me inhale doritos dust
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Jan 9, 2016 21:06
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Perhaps your great grandfather was an explorer of some renowned, made a name for himself in exploring the farthest deserts of Araby and the remotest corners of darkest Africky. Perhaps he produced off-spring with some vile emanation of these foul regions of the earth. Perhaps... you have a little negro blood in you? THE HORROR.
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Jan 9, 2016 21:38
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Is eldritch the same thing as eldridge?
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Jan 9, 2016 21:46
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a hole-y ghost posted:Is eldritch the same thing as eldridge? i'm not sure i want to let everyone know when cthulhu rises from his dreamless slumber
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Jan 9, 2016 21:49
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a bone to pick posted:My gums bleed every time I brush my teeth, must be an eldritch horror following me around A creature so vile that in my tongue the best I could pronounce it's name would be Ghen'jahvitus.
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Jan 9, 2016 23:30
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oh please a horror beyond time and thought has better things to do then bother with the rancid monkey flesh you call your life its probably just cheeto farts
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Jan 9, 2016 23:57
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Mariana Horchata posted:PM Gatekeeper, he seems to be an authority on magicks and may be able to help u I dare not drag another unwillingly into my waking nightmare! I had a very eventful day. Update coming soon! Asclepius Hot Rod posted:Perhaps your great grandfather was an explorer of some renowned, made a name for himself in exploring the farthest deserts of Araby and the remotest corners of darkest Africky. 
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Jan 10, 2016 00:13
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CJacobs posted:Did you guys know that a person who was alive in the early 1900s was racist!? shocking!! Here's 10 things YOU didn't know about HP Lovecraft that'll BLOW YOUR MIND! Not the least of which the cthulu mythos ha ha thanks I'll be here all week I bet he didn't even respect women either.
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Jan 10, 2016 00:46
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Official Update #2: I managed to sneak out of the house at some point to get some supplies. I first went to a book shop and asked if the had any books about banishing aliens back to their dimension, and the woman wouldn't give me the time of day. I suspect as a seller of knowledge that she does not want to be captured and studied by the creature, so that it would learn more about this planet and perhaps lead to better exploit it. Wise indeed. I then went to walmart to collect some essential items. I was stopped by another crazy gypsy woman outside walmart though. She smelled as offensive as she looked, musty cheese and yogurt assaulting my nose holes. She warned me of Them, those that would dare enter this world and take everything from us. Was she crazy? Or was I so blind as to ignore the warning signs when they first reared their cyclopean heads? We spoke for a short while longer, as long as I could tolerate a filthy, inbred gypsy, which worked out to be 30 seconds. I did however buy a small trinket from her, in hopes that it may aid in warding off dangers. I wore it begrugingly on my Naruto shirt, but could feel the stares of strangers as I wore this small effogy proudly on my chest. I must have looked insane to those that did not understand. I did get a few thumbs up from those that wore similar idols. I nodded and smiled to those people, as they must be hunted, or at least once hunted, by the unspeakable and indescribable horror that currently persues me. I returned home with enough supplies to last me about a week. I sit now in my basement fully aware ofits presence upstairs in the living room, howling and cackeling, perhaps at the very notion that it has trapped me down here. I will have to do something drastic soon, lest I be driven mad.
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Jan 10, 2016 00:48
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:> summon jolio you do realize its Jollo and not jolio right?
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Jan 10, 2016 00:50
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Try not standing in the dark corners, op!!
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Jan 10, 2016 00:55
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Jukeboxblues posted:Official Update #2: >check inventory
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Jan 10, 2016 01:14
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katlington posted:>check inventory 14 large bottles of mountain dew, three bags of cheetohs, 7 bags of doritos, 1 case of dr pepper, three extra large bags of M&M's and a bottle of orange juice (so I don't get scurvy). Should be enough to make it through the first half of the week.
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Jan 10, 2016 01:22
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>examine spellbook
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Jan 10, 2016 01:29
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Seasonal Candles posted:He was a gigantic pussy so scared of the world that even a frickin type of geometry was terrifying to him Yeah, that was pretty disappointing. One day I got to wondering what exactly non-euclidean geometry might be, so I googled it.  Oh. 
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Jan 10, 2016 01:43
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Go read Charles Stross' Laundry series of book for information on how to deal with Lovecraftian monstrosities and technology. The first thing you'll need to do is download the Scorpion Stare app for your phone.
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Jan 10, 2016 03:19
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ghlbtsk posted:op is a fhtagn
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Jan 10, 2016 05:36
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Say Nothing posted:Go read Charles Stross' Laundry series of book for information on how to deal with Lovecraftian monstrosities and technology. A picture of op's mom will suffice
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Jan 10, 2016 05:42
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Say Nothing posted:Go read Charles Stross' Laundry series of book for information on how to deal with Lovecraftian monstrosities and technology. 2 chapters into the atrocity archives, theres a lot of internet memes
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Jan 10, 2016 15:08
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a hole-y ghost posted:Is eldritch the same thing as eldridge? this is what lovecraft was warning us about
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Jan 10, 2016 15:37
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Official Update #3 I heard some screams coming from my mothers bed room not long ago. I ventured out of my basement in fear the beast had turned on her. I was correct in my assumption as I flung open the door. What I witnessed would shatter the sanity of a normal man, but as we all know, I am far from normal. I saw the beast, pinning my mother to the bed. It must have been trying to eat her as he was ihis true form, without any clothing on. His mouth must be located somewhere where our stomachs would be, as he was continuously thrusting it her. He was covered with a thin layer of what I can only imagine as mucous. His snail like feature bobbing around as it ate. I fled the room, for there is little I could do for mother. Assuming she wasn't already dead, she would be forced to be a legless freak who I would be forced to look after, truly a fate worse than death. I also think this beast has stolen my mothers phone and has been texting me for hours. I have fled to a public Library to post this in safety. The inhabitants of this place are strange. One man even ate rancid meat out the trunk of his car like it was nothing. I am scared and alone, so I might chance returning home soon. I may be able to make it to my basement, or as I have recently dubbed it "haeven", before the beast can snatch me. This could very well be my last post. It was nice knowing you guys.
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Jan 10, 2016 16:02
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i really prefer Arkham Horror over Eldritch. they say the game mechanics are "more refined", but i say that is just an excuse to remove half of the components in the base game, and stick them in expansions. you get a lot more game for your money when you buy Arkham, just my two cents
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Jan 10, 2016 16:09
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katlington posted:2 chapters into the atrocity archives, theres a lot of internet memes I suspect Charles Stross is a goon. 
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Jan 11, 2016 05:11
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Say Nothing posted:I suspect Charles Stross is a goon. Okay, no. I can't read a book by this man. Jim Butcher is a giant loving nerd and his wizard can't shut up about Star Wars for five seconds, but this is too far.
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Jan 11, 2016 05:18
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Jim Butcher is p cool though. I met him once and he was chill and funny.
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Jan 11, 2016 05:31
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lmao no u arent
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Jan 11, 2016 05:32
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Try assaulting the beast with salt from the Dead Sea. The mystic resonance might be enough to destroy it. Sorry about your mom.
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Jan 11, 2016 05:41
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Peztopiary posted:Try assaulting the beast with salt from the Dead Sea. The mystic resonance might be enough to destroy it. Sorry about your mom. Do they sell that at walmart?
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Jan 11, 2016 05:46
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Sometimes. If you can find sea salt you're set.
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Jan 11, 2016 07:13
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you can make your own sea salt using regular table salt and any home aquarium
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Jan 11, 2016 07:49
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katlington posted:you can make your own sea salt using regular table salt and any home aquarium This sounds like something I can manage. Do I need to have fish in there?
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Jan 11, 2016 07:54
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Iä gay
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Jan 11, 2016 07:57
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Jukeboxblues posted:This sounds like something I can manage. Do I need to have fish in there? no, take any fish out first 
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Jan 11, 2016 08:39
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i 5vd this thred. the op was solid. good jokes
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Jan 11, 2016 09:17
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Minor update I poured a whole container of salt into the aquatium as walmart were fresh out of sea salt. Is the salt suppose to vanish and leave the water all murkey? I was freaking out for a bit. Additionally the beast is gone for now. He also reserrected my mother somehow. I suspect it is to spy on me. She keeps talking about him and how he is going to be a big part of our lives. I believe she is now fully under his control and the only way to save her is to slay this monster. She said he is coming over for dinner again tomorrow night, so I will have to have my master plan ready by then. Anyone know how long the transmutation takes with this salt?
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Jan 11, 2016 09:41
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it should be good to go! just strain out the salt and bob's your uncle
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Jan 11, 2016 10:43
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Stay away from corners, in fact move into a cylindrical house if you can.
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Jan 11, 2016 10:50
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I am not being pursued by dogs but I do appreciate the advice.
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Jan 11, 2016 11:32
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Say Nothing posted:Stay away from corners, in fact move into a cylindrical house if you can. Didn't we already cover the whole 'non-euclidean' geometry thing? How can you hang a portrait on the inside of a cylinder? You'll end up dead or insane before you manage it.
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Jan 11, 2016 12:01
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:31 |
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Jukeboxblues posted:I am not being pursued by dogs but I do appreciate the advice. Between this and the crippling fear of black people, this is a very well-researched thread. Authentically Lovecraftian. Too many people just wing it with "nameless babbling horrors!" and tentacle monsters, but you've done your homework!
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Jan 11, 2016 12:01
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