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symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

numberoneposter posted:

here are some helpful ingredients to add to your chicken noodle soup :)

-sardines
-pizza
-anchovies
-Vape Juice
-semen

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EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien
I think you're supposed to put a whole chicken in the pot, slow boil it until the meat falls off, and then pick the meat off of the bones

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013

by the sex ghost

LGD posted:

did you slow cook it? a lot of newer slow cookers cook too hot and it can absolutely gently caress up your dishes if you don't account for it

you also maybe didn't saute your vegetables when you should have, which can absolutely gently caress up a long-cooking soup or stew incorporating onions by making it pungent and sulfurous

I did slow cook it. Does the garlic sulphur thing also affect garlic? They're pretty similar plants.

Zeno-25
Dec 5, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Orkin Mang posted:

you can bring back even the worst soups by turning your oven on the highest heat and putting your head inside

That only works if your oven runs on coal gas. Thanks, OSHA thread

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
a friend of mine once told me he got back from the bar high as a kite and figured hed make his gf some mac and cheese but like, gourmet mac and cheese despite having no cooking experience so he dumped vinegar, red pepper flakes, brown sugar, and a bunch of other gourmet stuff into a box of microwaved macncheese and it was really gross

choprite
Sep 29, 2007
just about as retarded as you'd think
what chicken stock did you use? did you try it beforehand? sometimes they're kinda garbage and you're better off just using bouillon.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Methanar posted:

chicken chunks

Were they canned?

Zeno-25
Dec 5, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Soup is always scrub-tier unless you add a decent homemade stock to match whatever sort of soup you're making.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Fitzy Fitz posted:


You have like triple chicken and double salt.

We're jumping the rails on the train to flavor town!

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

Add whole boiled eggs, white wine, shrimp -- DON'T FORGET THE SHRIMP!
Walla -- peasant stew.

Flambeau
Aug 5, 2015
Plaster Town Cop
if you're not making your own stock:

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

EXTREME INSERTION posted:

I think you're supposed to put a whole chicken in the pot, slow boil it until the meat falls off, and then pick the meat off of the bones

It's this one. Though a halved chicken is fine

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
if u need to make homemade stock in a pinch, simply buy a pasta maker and pass a live chicken through it

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
what does it taste like?

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Lol kill yourself op

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
hey, OP are you still there? what did your soup taste like? i mean, terrible is pretty vague was it too salty? did it taste bland? did it taste like anything you have ever recognized before as a possible taste? talk to me

cods
Nov 14, 2005

Oh snap-kins!
Add cream. Fat cuts salt, and acid as previously stated. Creamy chicken, dude.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

cods posted:

Add cream. Fat cuts salt, and acid as previously stated. Creamy chicken, dude.

you dont even know how it tastes how the gently caress do you think you can give advice about this??

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013

by the sex ghost
Soups too salty. It can almost be described as tasting like bone marrow.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Methanar posted:

Soups too salty. It can almost be described as tasting like bone marrow.

the only genuine bona fide way to fix this, without wasting ur time on silly home remedies, is to find some way to give ur soup leukemia

cods
Nov 14, 2005

Oh snap-kins!

dad gay. so what posted:

you dont even know how it tastes how the gently caress do you think you can give advice about this??

If op says it's salty, he needs to cut the salt with fat. Heavy cream will tone it down, and then he will have creamy chicken soup.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Methanar posted:

Soups too salty. It can almost be described as tasting like bone marrow.

the only thing ive found to cut through over-salting is antifreeze. if you take a capful and mix it into your soup every night for a couple of weeks your organs will shut down and you wont even taste it anymore

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

cods posted:

If op says it's salty, he needs to cut the salt with fat. Heavy cream will tone it down, and then he will have creamy chicken soup.

WRONG

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style
stock is usually fairly unsalted, no? I don't see how that + boullion would make it inedible.

I mean unless you didn't cook your rice before adding it, or you picked up seasoned stock, I dunno how you hosed up a boring simple soup.

Zamboni Rodeo
Jul 19, 2007

NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!




General Bullshit 2: On The Move › I just made soup and it's disgusting

Well, that's really no surprise. Soup by its very nature is gross. Making soup at all was your first mistake.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

diabeetz posted:

stock is usually fairly unsalted, no? I don't see how that + boullion would make it inedible.

I mean unless you didn't cook your rice before adding it, or you picked up seasoned stock, I dunno how you hosed up a boring simple soup.

or maybe he should get a good recipe and follow it right, chef boy-ar-dee

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
yo, i did a bit of googling and it turns out that leukemia can be caused by exposure to intense radiation.after some follow up gogles i discovered that the by far the biggest source of radiation in the solar system is the sun, so what i'd recommend is that u put ur soup in a tuperware container and maybe secure it with a couple of rubber bands just to be sure, put it in bumbag because u sound like the type who owns a bumbag,then fire urself into the sun

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style

dad gay. so what posted:

or maybe he should get a good recipe and follow it right, chef boy-ar-dee

I don't make soup because I'm not a fuckin housewife

because every egg drop soup I've made is a failure and that's as far as I'm willing to go.

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style
soup is salty juice.

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

You'd think the antidote to salt is to add more pepper, but you'd be wrong.

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

im making vegetable broth right now

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

diabeetz posted:

I don't make soup because I'm not a fuckin housewife

because every egg drop soup I've made is a failure and that's as far as I'm willing to go.

oooh got in the humble-brag. nice form. dunk a dill pickle, reald-o

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

I.C. posted:

You'd think the antidote to salt is to add more pepper, but you'd be wrong.

i used to think that too before i found out about the antifreeze solution (voted #1 on yahoo answers)

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
Just dump a couple cans of Progresso in there and claim it as your own

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

ChrisHansen posted:

Just dump a couple cans of Progresso in there and claim it as your own

did you read the thread? im just wondering because it seems like you didnt even bother to read the thread.

crotchgobbler
Jul 25, 2007

im an 07 lol

Enfield posted:

a friend of mine once told me he got back from the bar high as a kite and figured hed make his gf some mac and cheese but like, gourmet mac and cheese despite having no cooking experience so he dumped vinegar, red pepper flakes, brown sugar, and a bunch of other gourmet stuff into a box of microwaved macncheese and it was really gross

Vinegar, red pepper flakes, and brown sugar are "gourmet?" :psyduck:

Vitalis Jackson
May 14, 2009

Sun and water are healthy for you -- but not for your hair!
Fun Shoe

Methanar posted:

:(

It's supposed to be chicken but it's just gross and I don't know why.

It's got one carton of chicken stock, a spoonful of chicken boullion, a pretty big amount of mixed vegetables (corn/carrots/sweet peas/etc), a good handful of rice, chicken chunks, fresh garlic with red pepper flakes and habanero pepper spice in it.

Well. That's not how you make chicken soup, my good friend. To make excellent chicken soup--first, buy a chicken! Take that chicken and put it in a big pot with many slices of garlic cloves (6 or eight cloves, at least), sliced celery, parsley, and sliced carrots. Salt it some, and put some pepper in it. Cover it with water, put a lid on it, bring it to a good boil; when it's boiling good, turn it down to a simmer. After a while (60-90 minutes or so), it should be done. You can tell when it's stewed enough because the legs will easily separate from the carcass. Take it off the pot, and remove the chicken, you have just made a great chicken stock! You should debone the chicken and put some of it in the stock. Now feel free to add rice (the healthy choice!) or frozen egg noodles (the tastiest choice!). That's basically it, friend. You can add some flour/water mixture to it to thicken it. If you have any questions, just ask!

Love,
Vitalis

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

crotchgobbler posted:

Vinegar, red pepper flakes, and brown sugar are "gourmet?" :psyduck:

he had done so much coke he was basically vibrating

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Enfield posted:

he had done so much coke he was basically vibrating

vibrating is the best way to cook imho

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Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

dad gay. so what posted:

vibrating is the best way to cook imho

vibrating in general is a good way to burn off a lot of excess carbs

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