Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
PureEvil6_13
Jun 1, 2004

I LIKE PETA AND THINK THAT SCIENCE IS EVIL
I just went to get some gas and a drink fro Quik Trip and the lady in front of me asks the clerk "Do you have any Valentines Day lottery tickets?" and the guys says "no" and she says "Well, just pick me a winning ticket then"

LAFFO OF COURSE I WILL LADY JUST FOR YOU.

People bring their personal laptops in and call in, "Yeah I need you to put this on the network and load it with Office, I use it FOR WORK you see" Yeah no we won't do any of that clown.

One guy bought a laptop and had his assistant bring it to our office, new in box, and said to do this, plus gave me his credit card number to purchase Office and install it for him. No you get hosed.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYoUGkQJI64

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

"Stupid garbage!" - a customer

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

"i printed it this morning!"

look rear end in a top hat, you're not funny. i've heard this a million times and we both know it doesn't encourage further conversation. let me check your bill for counterfeit and move on.

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


PureEvil6_13 posted:

I just went to get some gas and a drink fro Quik Trip and the lady in front of me asks the clerk "Do you have any Valentines Day lottery tickets?" and the guys says "no" and she says "Well, just pick me a winning ticket then"

LAFFO OF COURSE I WILL LADY JUST FOR YOU.

People bring their personal laptops in and call in, "Yeah I need you to put this on the network and load it with Office, I use it FOR WORK you see" Yeah no we won't do any of that clown.

One guy bought a laptop and had his assistant bring it to our office, new in box, and said to do this, plus gave me his credit card number to purchase Office and install it for him. No you get hosed.
why didn't you just steal his credit card and buy a bunch of poo poo?

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

"I can't wait to log into the Something Awful Forums under my username PureEvil6_13 and post this real humdinger of a thread!"

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Cthulu Carl posted:

"I can't wait to log into the Something Awful Forums under my username PureEvil6_13 and post this real humdinger of a thread!"

:lol:

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
hi I'm looking for goods and or services, I have money, are we close to a deal??

Wootiebabeh
Dec 21, 2009




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1cb1Gk1ueE

Ill Peripheral
Jun 29, 2008
UUUHHH GOT ANY GUM????

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot

Ill Peripheral posted:

UUUHHH GOT ANY GUM????

I wish Norm Macdonald were my customer

NeuroticLich
Oct 30, 2012

Grimey Drawer

symbolic posted:

"i printed it this morning!"

look rear end in a top hat, you're not funny. i've heard this a million times and we both know it doesn't encourage further conversation. let me check your bill for counterfeit and move on.

Alternatively "Did I do a good job?" :shepicide:

Dusty Baker 2
Jul 8, 2011

Keyboard Inghimasi
*item fails to ring up*

GUESS ITS FREE LOL

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

Cthulu Carl posted:

"I can't wait to log into the Something Awful Forums under my username PureEvil6_13 and post this real humdinger of a thread!"

Owned Zone Population: PureEvil6_13

Can he recover his GBS street cred with a salty and hilarious reply? We shall see!

AbbadonOfHell
Jul 16, 2004
You know I would try to think of something funny to put here but ill just pass on that and threaten people with a + 2 board with a nail in it.

mdm posted:

I wish Norm Macdonald were my customer

It'd be a huge headache I bet, but in a fun way.

Shadow
Jun 25, 2002

Cthulu Carl posted:

"I can't wait to log into the Something Awful Forums under my username PureEvil6_13 and post this real humdinger of a thread!"

ahahahahahaha

VectorSigma
Jan 20, 2004

Transform
and
Freak Out



my dad didn't defeat hitler so i would have to press 1 for english this is america

Luna
May 31, 2001

A hand full of seeds and a mouthful of dirt


"Next time I hire you to gently caress me in the rear end, can you bring a black guy to fart in my mouth?" - OPs Dad

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

Cthulu Carl posted:

"I can't wait to log into the Something Awful Forums under my username PureEvil6_13 and post this real humdinger of a thread!"

Obligatory Toast
Mar 19, 2007

What am I reading here??
I used to work at a Wawa and one day a guy came in to buy cigarettes. We had to scan IDs as a means of checking them - the POS system accounts for ID scans and overrides on age restricted products and flags people doing the latter too much. So being the good associate that I am, I ask to see his ID and he says, "Sure, but only if you swear not to scan it!"

I tell him I have to, it's part of my job.

His response: "I don't want ya'll stealin' my information and selling it to the government!"

His ID was a VA state driver's license. :geno:

salt shakeup
Jun 27, 2004

'orrible fucking nights

PureEvil6_13 posted:

I just went to get some gas and a drink fro Quik Trip and the lady in front of me asks the clerk "Do you have any Valentines Day lottery tickets?" and the guys says "no" and she says "Well, just pick me a winning ticket then"

LAFFO OF COURSE I WILL LADY JUST FOR YOU.

People bring their personal laptops in and call in, "Yeah I need you to put this on the network and load it with Office, I use it FOR WORK you see" Yeah no we won't do any of that clown.

One guy bought a laptop and had his assistant bring it to our office, new in box, and said to do this, plus gave me his credit card number to purchase Office and install it for him. No you get hosed.
Maybe you should do your computer nerd job and setup office.

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

"Hello, I'd like to purchase your product/service"

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy
dead end retail worker honeypot thread

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Noblesse Obliged posted:

"Hello, I'd like to purchase your product/service"

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
Nothing when they throw their credit card/ stack of twenties at you while looking at other poo poo.

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot

Obligatory Toast posted:

I used to work at a Wawa and one day a guy came in to buy cigarettes. We had to scan IDs as a means of checking them - the POS system accounts for ID scans and overrides on age restricted products and flags people doing the latter too much. So being the good associate that I am, I ask to see his ID and he says, "Sure, but only if you swear not to scan it!"

I tell him I have to, it's part of my job.

His response: "I don't want ya'll stealin' my information and selling it to the government!"

His ID was a VA state driver's license. :geno:

yes but the information could be about the purchase, which the government cares oh so much about

coolskull
Nov 11, 2007

what would you like to drink sir?
hyuk hyuk, a beer!


and then i would stand stock still at the register, waiting for a real answer

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
I worked in the hardware department at Sears during college. We always had women coming in with buckets of paint they bought and apparently it wasn't beige enough for their likings, whatever that means.

"Can you make this paint more... beigey?"

"Beigey? What do you mean?"

"Like you know more like beige."

"It is beige."

"No I know but more."

"Okay."

*adds yellow, I guess*

*it's totally hosed up now*

"Manager to hardware please. Manager to hardware."

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

Noblesse Obliged posted:

"Hello, I'd like to purchase your product/service"

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
things i hate that customers do

- breathing

- being alive

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow





"customer's always right"

gently caress you you're an idiot and wrong

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

"Who are you and what are you doing in my room at 3 a.m.?"

coolskull
Nov 11, 2007

i worked at a wendy's and developed weird racisms. any time a mexican dude in overalls came in i'd think "oh just watch, he's gonna order a spicy chicken sandwich and a coke :rolleyes:"

GORDON
Jan 1, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

mdm posted:

yes but the information could be about the purchase, which the government cares oh so much about

Also it could tell them where he was at that particular time.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow





LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

i worked at a wendy's and developed weird racisms. any time a mexican dude in overalls came in i'd think "oh just watch, he's gonna order a spicy chicken sandwich and a coke :rolleyes:"

same here. whenever I see a mexican customer I assume they're going to have rowdy kids and gently caress up the store

my kinda ape
Sep 15, 2008

Everything's gonna be A-OK
Oven Wrangler

Dusty Baker 2 posted:

*item fails to ring up*

GUESS ITS FREE LOL

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

i worked at a wendy's and developed weird racisms. any time a mexican dude in overalls came in i'd think "oh just watch, he's gonna order a spicy chicken sandwich and a coke :rolleyes:"

that's a pretty solid meal choice and i'm not even mexican

drunkb
Aug 14, 2009


The Great Twist
LMAO if you talk to people outside the forums

my kinda ape
Sep 15, 2008

Everything's gonna be A-OK
Oven Wrangler

Horniest Manticore posted:

dead end retail worker honeypot thread

I only wish I was dead. Sometimes I fantasize about a tweaker shooting me in the head

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

coolskull
Nov 11, 2007

Harald posted:

that's a pretty solid meal choice and i'm not even mexican

i agree, but positive stereotypes can still be hurtful.

  • Locked thread