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Selsun Blue that is. And that poo poo isn't working. I have an itchy flaky scalp and probably fungus, psoriasis and maybe scabies(?). I can't wear dark shirts because of the embarrassment. I'm basically trapped in my own home with extreme social anxiety until this gets figured out. I'm calling upon the collective goon experience to help me cure this horrifying condition. Thank you and bless.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:07
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:28 |
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tomato juice
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Feb 16, 2016 17:08
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dad gay. so what posted:tomato juice Drink it?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:10
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Shave your head and the dry scalp will clear up in days. No shampoo ever really works against hardcore dandruff. Your only option is to nuke it all to the ground. Or you can just deal with it. Impromptu snowstorms are HILARIOUS and very sexually attractive. I don't know anything about fungus or scabies tho.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:10
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King of Bees posted:Drink it? drink what?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:10
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coconut oil is the poo poo for dry scalp
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Feb 16, 2016 17:12
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dad gay. so what posted:drink what? I forgot. 
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Feb 16, 2016 17:14
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dunk your head in vinegar you realdo
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Feb 16, 2016 17:15
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you might have the zeeka. he good news is it will clear up on it's own, the bad news is your head will shrink and become deformed. avoid traveling to any south american villages your head may be taken as a trophy or for voodoo.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:26
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use grapefruit seed extract on you're head
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Feb 16, 2016 17:26
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THis is a lot of stuff to put on my head. And some of it sounds pretty dangerous. If i have the zeeka how long do I have?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:27
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have you tried filling your bathtub with drano and then getting in it?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:29
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You are starting to go bald. Shedding of the dermal follicles happens and no amount of salt or tar shampoo will stop it. Best thing you can do is to shave your head, like with a Bic, then use standard moisturizer. There is probably nothing you can do at this point, take some nice pictures to show your children from when you had hair.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:31
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OlmanRiver posted:You are starting to go bald. Shedding of the dermal follicles happens and no amount of salt or tar shampoo will stop it. what will salt and tar shampoo do? Goddamn this itches like crazy. I think I'm bleeding now.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:32
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King of Bees posted:THis is a lot of stuff to put on my head. And some of it sounds pretty dangerous. If i have the zeeka how long do I have? this long
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Feb 16, 2016 17:33
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funny story i was at my dads house and helping him renovate it or whatevr and i wanted to take a bath cause my body was sore from working like a man allday and i wanted to epson salt so i laid in bath and then went to pour in the salt but the bag apparently was plaster of paris in a VERY similar bag instead and anyways boy was my face red
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Feb 16, 2016 17:33
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I'm not as versed in these terrible skin conditions like a lot of people are. Usually i'm the one glowing from radiant good health and strong sexual appetites and a good strong physique. These deformities are a mystery to me.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:34
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Use jizz for shampoo, OP.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:34
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King of Bees posted:what will salt and tar shampoo do? Goddamn this itches like crazy. I think I'm bleeding now. You can get doctor prescription tar shampoo. It didn't work for me, but its expensive and people swear by it. http://www.medicinenet.com/coal_tar_shampoo-topical/article.htm
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Feb 16, 2016 17:35
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have you tried drinking a cap full of antifreeze every night until your organs shut down?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:35
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Smash it Smash hit posted:funny story i was at my dads house and helping him renovate it or whatevr and i wanted to take a bath cause my body was sore from working like a man allday and i wanted to epson salt so i laid in bath and then went to pour in the salt but the bag apparently was plaster of paris in a VERY similar bag instead and anyways boy was my face red I wouldve thought your facewould be white. Are you sure it was plaster? Maybe it was placenta of paris??? What is your dad doing!
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Feb 16, 2016 17:36
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King of Bees posted:I wouldve thought your facewould be white. Are you sure it was plaster? Maybe it was placenta of paris??? What is your dad doing! you keep my dad out of this you piece of poo poo
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Feb 16, 2016 17:41
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Smash it Smash hit posted:you keep my dad out of this you piece of poo poo You're right! I'm getting off topic here (me/scalp condition). Sorry about that!
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Feb 16, 2016 17:43
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Have you tried turning it off and on again, OP?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:44
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I have some Lysol wipes here that say they kill 99.9% of viruses and bacteria! They're Lemon and Lime Blossom scent if that makes a difference.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:45
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hey OP, have you tried nuking it from orbit?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:46
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use deodorant in your hair
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Feb 16, 2016 17:47
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hey OP, have you tried tying a cinder block to your ankle and jumping off a bridge?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:48
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OP you should hydrate more. Dry scalp is caused by dehydration. Drink a gallon of water every hour on the hour for an entire day and your scalp will clear up lickety split.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:50
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See here's the issue. I want to write a YA trilogy based on my life experiences (it will be quite jaunty). Now when the premiere of the movie (part one) takes place I want to wear a nice charcoal suit with a red tie. How the hell am I supposed to wear a charcoal suit if there's skin flakes all over the shoulders and collar? Can you imagine how loving embarrassing that would be. I can't even start writing the things until I get this problem taken care of.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:50
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hey OP have you tried putting your head under the front tire of a moving car?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:51
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Don't use that Alka selsun poo poo, don't use any shampoo for a while. Just take baths and soak your scalp. Let your hair oils build up. Massage and groom. Shampoo with mild soap and olive oil in a week. It's ashy season unfortunately. 
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Feb 16, 2016 17:52
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King of Bees posted:See here's the issue. I want to write a YA trilogy based on my life experiences (it will be quite jaunty). Now when the premiere of the movie (part one) takes place I want to wear a nice charcoal suit with a red tie. How the hell am I supposed to wear a charcoal suit if there's skin flakes all over the shoulders and collar? Can you imagine how loving embarrassing that would be. I can't even start writing the things until I get this problem taken care of. Set the story in the arctic where it's always snowing. No one will notice the dandruff.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:52
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dad gay. so what posted:hey OP have you tried putting your head under the front tire of a moving car? I'm taking note of all these ideas but I haven't tried anything yet. Do scabies really burrow under your skin and lay eggs?
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Feb 16, 2016 17:53
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King of Bees posted:I'm taking note of all these ideas but I haven't tried anything yet. Do scabies really burrow under your skin and lay eggs? thats guinea worms
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Feb 16, 2016 17:54
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Applewhite posted:Set the story in the arctic where it's always snowing. No one will notice the dandruff. Do you think that arctic is a good YA setting? *takes notes*
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Feb 16, 2016 17:54
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If you want to get rid of dandruff flakes you gotta pray to Flaketo: the God of Scalp Flakes. All you gotta do is put your scalp flakes under your pillow at night and he will come and leave you a nickle for your troubles.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:55
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dad gay. so what posted:thats guinea worms FML.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:55
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Nizoral shampoo works for my seborrheic dermatitis. Might help you. They don't sell it around here off the shelf so you might need a prescription.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:55
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King of Bees posted:Do you think that arctic is a good YA setting? *takes notes* Either the arctic or a magical land where it always snows.
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Feb 16, 2016 17:56
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