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Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Every hand has a " sensitive to smells" finger

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DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

I drank a huge glass of fiber. Was supposed to kick in come morning

But I'm ripping high performance and high pressure gas all of a sudden

I think the time expected on the jar was inaccurate

Diesel Fucker
Aug 14, 2003

I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.
I cut myself because it's the only thing that feels real.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


what can i say op, I'm a picker not a popper

Myron Baloney
Mar 19, 2002

Emitting dimensions are swallowing you
Yes, there's blood on my hands, mother

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

H.H posted:

I once put a 5-year old in the ER and he needed an operation, does that count? (I was also 5 at the time, so not as bad as it sounds)

also, I was detained and brought in to a police station at an earlier time for unrelated reasons. true story.

why would police detain a 5-year-old

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

why would police detain a 5-year-old

same reason they'd detain anyone else, a planted handgun or vial of crack

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax
sorry I was just somehow under the impression HH was white

maybe the name

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

why would police detain a 5-year-old

actually, I was 2 when I was detained.

what I failed to mention was that what might have contributed to that is that my whole family was hauled in. we were at a demonstration in the ussr and I was brought along.

when I got to the station the cops didn't know what to do with me. as my parents told me, they debated about whether to process me, but later decided against it because even the soviet police wasn't THAT adherent to protocol.


MiracleWhale posted:

same reason they'd detain anyone else, a planted handgun or vial of crack

naturally, they also did that, but only out of habit.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

sorry I was just somehow under the impression HH was white

maybe the name

oh sorry i mean accusations of soliciting anonymous gay sex in airport restrooms or embezzlement

Creed Reunion Tour
Jul 3, 2007

by Cyrano4747
Grimey Drawer
I wash after I wipe, OP.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

H.H posted:

actually, I was 2 when I was detained.

what I failed to mention was that what might have contributed to that is that my whole family was hauled in. we were at a demonstration in the ussr and I was brought along.

when I got to the station the cops didn't know what to do with me. as my parents told me, they debated about whether to process me, but later decided against it because even the soviet police wasn't THAT adherent to protocol.

did your parents escape the gulag :ohdear:

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

did your parents escape the gulag :ohdear:

that time, yes, since it was 1986.

my father did spend almost a year in Siberia in the early 80s, but that was on a whole other charge.

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
Yer dad sounds badass does he speak in a monotone and have a heavy gaze

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month
No, he was quite sociable and easygoing while he was alive.

needless to say, he almost never talked about that time.
what I do know about it makes him a much braver man than I ever hope to be, and also makes local prisons look like summer camps.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax
I killed several mahdi army fighters in 2006 but I used a gun so none of their blood got on my hands or any other part of me.

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe
I'm an American so I inherently have blood on my hands

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month
what's the Mahdi army? from the name i'm guessing it's Shiite.

El Estrago Bonito
Dec 17, 2010

Scout Finch Bitch
I'm diabetic, so like, 4 to 6 times a day?

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor. Duhhhhr duhduhdhhhh

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

H.H posted:

what's the Mahdi army? from the name i'm guessing it's Shiite.

It is. The Iraqi insurgency that formed in 2004 following the invasion of Iraq was composed of dozens of individual factions, but there were two that accounted for the lion's share of insurgents; Sunni fighters mostly went to AQ-Iraq (Now called ISIL), Shia mostly went to the Mahdi Army.

Of course now they're fighting ISIL so we're all on the same side. :patriot:

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

H.H posted:

No, he was quite sociable and easygoing while he was alive.

needless to say, he almost never talked about that time.
what I do know about it makes him a much braver man than I ever hope to be, and also makes local prisons look like summer camps.

well this thread got surprisingly interesting

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
cookie i think your tame

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
Yes, literally.


Nosebleed out of nowhere while driving on the autobahn. Very fun.

Moltke
May 13, 2009
I have been described as a villain irl

Kitchner
Nov 9, 2012

IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER
Clapping Larry
Only hooker blood but that doesn't count.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

mobby_6kl posted:

Yes, literally.


Nosebleed out of nowhere while driving on the autobahn. Very fun.

you could have just said you were german

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

you could have just said you were german

hes not. hes lying.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
Lol. I'm not though, but they do have my ancestors' blood on their hands.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

mobby_6kl posted:

Lol. I'm not though, but they do have my ancestors' blood on their hands.

whatever :rolleyes:

you are a lazy liar

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

mobby_6kl posted:

Lol. I'm not though, but they do have my ancestors' blood on their hands.

stop lying

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

Parallax Scroll posted:

well this thread got surprisingly interesting

i'll try to answer any questions you might have, if you're interested.

slumdoge millionare
Feb 17, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Grimey Drawer
Yes, but it's from the process of stopping her from bleeding to death.

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

My nightly bloodlust is spilling over into my days. I feel lethal; on the verge of frenzied.

OxMan
May 13, 2006

COME SEE
GRAVE DIGGER
LIVE AT MONSTER TRUCK JAM 2KXX



I got blood on my hands and there's no remorse
I got blood on my dick cause I hosed a horse
I'm a nasty nigga, when you pass me nigga look me in the eye
Tell me to my fuckin face that you ready to die

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Did you know, fresh human blood makes for an excellent lubricant?

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I HATE THEM!

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

There's blood in my hands. Should I let it out? Should I let the blood out onto my hands?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

FogHelmut posted:

There's blood in my hands. Should I let it out? Should I let the blood out onto my hands?

If you don't let your blood out for regular walks, it may become obese and unhealthy.

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nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

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