Gaunab posted:

I'm a suburban mom

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

*...while masturbating*

symbolic posted:

in a similar vein, i made the mistake of friending my mom on Facebook and she started commenting on my friends' photos and friending them. even after i blocked her from seeing anything i post, she still comments on my friends' posts.

lord help me

504 posted:

*Buys AMAZING new thing she saw on TV, don't worry honey, ill use it everyday, its going to be so handy"

Returns it two weeks later when she finds the identical one she brought and never used five years ago*

Booblord Zagats posted:

*Calmly tries to explain to her 7 year old why he can't play GTA 5

Ka0 posted:

*buys trampoline with safety net around it

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

Harvey Mantaco posted:

I got a call this week from a woman complaining the neighbor has a 2L milk jug in their backyard with used oil in it.
I got a complaint once about a bag blowing around.

Harvey Mantaco posted:

Lol yes

olaf2022 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0p6QVBqAXA

Wedemeyer posted:

X posted over to here


It's real.

MAYO FETISH posted:

im gluten intolerant

peanut posted:

Chipotle

social vegan posted:

Candy crush player haha moms and they apps

social vegan posted:

Wow a mom who doesn't respect the game let me guess

*i check the username*

Shocker its hector

social vegan posted:

Lol ya ok buddy games in the news? Guys we got a real Trevor Noah over here

Wanamingo posted:

constantIllusion posted:

How are you a grown woman with children and cannot type the word "penis?" How did you conceive your kids?

Why are white people in the suburbs so afraid of music? It's just lyrics and beats!

Kitsunegari posted:

I assume this is in reference to Baal

criscodisco posted:

*posts on Facebook that immigrants are ruining our economy*

*posts pictures from vacation of the little Italian village her grandparents were born in*

ghostter posted:

test test

Airborne Viking posted:

*hasn't had sex in months*

Hrist posted:

*thinks no one knows she's taking a poo poo while on the phone, just because she doesn't flush*

*leaves it like that for days for someone else to take on the ordeal of moving that flusher*

The_Angry_Turtle posted:

Being a suburban mom is just like being a Pokemon trainer. You raise things to be better than your rival's things with little to no regard for their wellbeing, you never need to get a real job, your life revolves around going to gyms where no actual exercise seems to happen, and you have really hosed up ideas about what "evolution" means.

Oh Hell No posted:

*has petty professional rivalries with female coworkers who hold the same dead-end positions that she does*

Seriously, I worked at a real estate office for a few months, and you wouldn't believe how much some $11/hr data entry workers will sabotage each other even when there's no chance in hell of it somehow leading to a raise or promotion. Something like three-quarters of the new girls quit in their first month because they couldn't deal with the office bitch who would purposely mis-train them and do their work for them behind their backs.

Oh Hell No posted:

long story short, the brother and sister who ran the place (the only two licensed realtors there) were completely burnt out on the business and spent as little time physically in the office as possible

thathonkey posted:

petty small office drama is extremely my poo poo please keep it coming.

canyoneer posted:

Restaurant lifers are a really, really sad crew.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgg3Fl6fqJI
"MY KIDS DON'T EAT GREEN THINGS"