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ShootaBoy
Jan 6, 2010

Anime is Bad.
Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.

Get it done Lanzerel.

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George Rouncewell
Jul 20, 2007

You think that's illegal? Heh, watch this.
This is a Really Good Game. Also surprisingly open-ended depending on your choices.

Trust Sergeant Sideburns, he will do us right

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Boss NonCom, get yourself your underlings.

Ikasuhito
Sep 29, 2013

Haram as Fuck.

Make it so number one

Dong Quixote
Oct 3, 2015

Fun Shoe
More non-coms

edit: Despite Legit Caz having a near perfect run, I think Al comes out ahead just by having Lanzerel survive. You can't run a unit without good non-coms, and LC would probably get assigned some convict that got field-promited a couple times.

Dong Quixote fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Mar 31, 2016

Lemony
Jul 27, 2010

Now With Fresh Citrus Scent!
Obviously only one answer here, the one that makes all officer's problems go away, Carry on Sergeant.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
How do we get our soldiering to not suck?

CottonWolf
Jul 20, 2012

Good ideas generator

Hop to it, Lanz.

Mightypeon
Oct 10, 2013

Putin apologist- assume all uncited claims are from Russia Today or directly from FSB.

key phrases: Poor plucky little Russia, Spheres of influence, The West is Worse, they was asking for it.
As far as non sucky soldierung is concerned, sabres of infinity has a lot of things to improve it.

The banecast sword improves it by 10% straight, one of the background improves it by 5% as well.

Picking up fighting tips from the marines, and the very first choice to observe for tricks adds some further minor %s.

Befriending Cazarosta early on is another 5% (I think) and later practicing with him yields 10% as well.

The rune gun from being in cavarly reserve duty adds a whopping 15, and honing your body and mind while in Noringia adds another 10%.

I think Sabres has a total of 60% possible improved for soldiering.
This is far more then what is available for the other skills.

McTimmy
Feb 29, 2008
The boost from training with Caz changes based on your Soldiering skill at that point. If you're too high, it's actually smaller, or even nonexistent.

Mightypeon
Oct 10, 2013

Putin apologist- assume all uncited claims are from Russia Today or directly from FSB.

key phrases: Poor plucky little Russia, Spheres of influence, The West is Worse, they was asking for it.
I also think I finally managed the perhaps "best outcome".
It took me quite a lot of tries.
And I will spoil nothing.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

quote:

Your senior NCO flashes you a bare-teethed smile. "I'll start as soon as we get back, sir."

He snaps a quick salute at you as he orders his horse to fall back in line behind yours.

You lean back in your saddle and squint into the setting sun as you are once again left alone at the front of the column. You're alive, and most of your men are alive. You suppose that's a good thing.

Still, the taste of defeat is as bitter as gall in your mouth. You spend the three-day ride back to army headquarters at Noringia thinking over how to explain this close call to your superiors.

quote:



"I see. A most unfortunate outcome, Sir Alaric."

His Grace, the Duke of Cunaris, a general-of-brigade in the army of His Tierran Majesty Miguel d'al Rendower, turns himself toward the light filtering through the open window to his side, arm muscles bulging with exertion as his hands clumsily manoeuvre his wheelchair around the massive oaken desk.

Cunaris had been a colonel and in command of your regiment at Blogia when an Antari lancepoint severed his spine. Now his body is dead below the waist, and you doubt that even his appointment to brigade command could sweeten that bitter news.

He is in command of all the King's cavalry, as well as being Colonel of the Royal Dragoons, which explains exactly why you are standing before him, giving your account of your ill-fated clash with the Antari not three days ago.

"You were hard pressed. I should have expected such an outcome," he remarks as he stares out the window, the sunlight catching on the sparse grey hairs in his unfashionably full beard. "Indeed, we should be grateful that your losses were not considerably worse."

Cunaris directs a pained grimace your way. "How much of the blame shall you accept, Captain?"

"I was in command. The fault is mine, sir."

"We've already identified the root causes, and my Staff-sergeant is already working on it."

"I am already planning to see that my men shall not fail you again, sir."

"My bloody men were to blame, the useless scum."

"We'll not fail you next time, sir."

"We were sent into battle unprepared! The blame is not mine!"

And here is the current State of the War.

Leif.
Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester
"I was in command. The fault is mine, sir."

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
We are not martyrs, we're pragmatists.

Lanzerel is on the case.

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.



Assuming there ever was an issue, it's being fixed as we speak. Lanz is dealing with it.

sullat
Jan 9, 2012
We'll not fail you next time. Look forward, not dwell on the past.

Dong Quixote
Oct 3, 2015

Fun Shoe
We were in command. There's no one to replace Alaric as skipper anyway, so he might as well not make excuses.

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.



sullat posted:

We'll not fail you next time.
...

Did you ever see a character say that and live through the next minute? Let's not.

Bulletfodder
Dec 4, 2009
"My bloody men were to blame, the useless scum."

We can't lock them in a building and set it on fire, but we sure as hell can shift the blame. Even though it's not a warcrime, it's the best we can do at the moment.

the JJ
Mar 31, 2011

AJ_Impy posted:

We are not martyrs, we're pragmatists.

Lanzerel is on the case.

ShootaBoy
Jan 6, 2010

Anime is Bad.
Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.

It was my fault sir.

brakeless
Apr 11, 2011

The Tierran army is clearly in no state to seriously reprimand a live officer who fails to rout a numerically superior enemy with the garbage troops given to him. The old man will be happy if we just take the blame like a good boy.

My fault.

The first thread was great btw. Hopefully the goonmind can wrangle Alaric into comfy early retirement with the fruits of distinguished service. Even if it involves some more crimes against humanity.

Fuzzy Mammal
Aug 15, 2001

Lipstick Apathy
Accomplish this task that is beyond the means of the tools available to you.
<fails>
Who is to blame for this failure?

Cunaris, for expecting some other outcome. I guess we can take one for the team instead.

Ikasuhito
Sep 29, 2013

Haram as Fuck.

We have top men working on it right now.

GyverMac
Aug 3, 2006
My posting is like I Love Lucy without the funny bits. Basically, WAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why take the blame? Gotta show we are on top of things, My boy Lanz be busting heads as we speak

Mightypeon
Oct 10, 2013

Putin apologist- assume all uncited claims are from Russia Today or directly from FSB.

key phrases: Poor plucky little Russia, Spheres of influence, The West is Worse, they was asking for it.
Lanz is basically never wrong. Have faith in Lanz!

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

quote:

Cunaris's eyebrow rises. "Have you now? That is certainly good to hear, though I would keep an eye out if I were you. Commoners lack the sense of…finesse that we of more elevated background often take for granted."

Your commanding officer rolls his wheelchair up to you. "I shall enter your swift reaction to the situation in my report. However, I shall expect better performance from your men the next time you are sent into battle."

The Duke looks away for a moment, and when he turns back to you, his expression is set.

"With your report in mind, I shall do my best to give you the time to resolve the lingering issues within your squadron. I can, of course, make no guarantees regarding orders from His Majesty, but it will likely be months before you will be sent into battle again. I'll expect a report of greater success from you when that time is come. To stumble once is regrettable, to do so twice, with time to prepare, is unpardonable. Am I made clear?"

"Absolutely clear, sir," you respond. The implication couldn't be more obvious: you must return with a victory, or else.

Cunaris nods, his expression clearly pained at the harshness of his own ultimatum. "Very good, Captain. You are dismissed."

+3% Idealism

quote:

You step out of your regimental commander's office with a renewed sense of dread; will you truly have enough time to turn your disordered, demoralised force into an effective unit?

You do not even make it out of the corridor before you run into a familiar sight: thin, olive-skinned, hawk-nosed and angular, almost unchanged since the last time you saw him over three months ago. Unchanged, save by the red expanse of scar tissue down the left side of his face where an Antari warhammer had raked him at Blogia.

He greets you as he approaches: Sir Caius d'al Cazarosta, your acquaintance from training, fellow Dragoon officer, and…your friend? No, not your friend; a sometime ally who happens to wear the same uniform as you, and sometimes you wonder at the exact nature of the cold, analytical cipher living within the Dragoon tunic.

"Captain Sancroix, it is…good to see that you remain well," the other officer hesitatingly replies as you greet him. "You've returned from a sortie to the north, is that not so? How did your new unit fare?"

You tell Cazarosta of the debacle from which you and your squadron have just returned.

"I see," the other dragoon says as you finish your recounting. "Most regrettable. I too have had…difficulties regarding the men of my new command."

Cazarosta had been made captain and knighted after Blogia, on the same day you had, by the direct order of the King himself. However, unlike you, he is unlikely to rise any higher. He was born as a result of the illicit union between his baneblooded mother and a commoner. The result was an offspring of baneblood heritage but with none of its associate powers: a deathborn-bastard.

Cazarosta's unfortunate mother paid for her indiscretion with her life, and as the result of her crime, Cazarosta himself had suffered its consequences for all of his. It was only due to his exceptional skill with the sabre and pistol and the patronage of his mother's powerful husband, the Earl of Leoniscourt, that he had been able to acquire a commission at all. That he had been able to make captain based on merit alone was even more extraordinary.

Now though, the way up is barred to him; no Dragoon major would be willing to sell his commission to a deathborn, no matter how renowned. You can imagine that the prospect fills the other officer with no small amount of bitterness…

However, now is not the time to be contemplating the nature of a man when he stands right before you. His eyes meet yours, flinty as always, as if expecting a question in reply….

quote:

"What difficulties have you had with your command?"

The other officer almost seems caught off-guard by your question. "I beg pardon?"

After Blogia, Cazarosta had been promoted to command what was left of Third Squadron, your old unit. It too had taken immense losses during the battle, both those troops which followed Captain Elson into his suicidal charge and those who stayed behind in the desperate defense of the Tierran left flank.

"You said that you've had difficulties with your command," you explain. "Might I inquire in detail?"

The other officer nods. "Of course. Third Squadron is short a great deal of things, chief among them carbines, saddles, and horses for the men. It appears," he gives you a pointed look, "that your command has received higher priority for such supplies than mine."

You nod; that makes sense. Though the men in charge of provisioning the King's Army ostensibly give priority to more effective units, you have no doubt that the baneblooded officers in charge would be more willing to supply a squadron led by one of their own over a unit commanded by a deathborn.

"However," Cazarosta continues, "our chiefest shortage has been in men. While I do have a core of veterans at my disposal, the number of replacements I've available are only enough to raise Third Squadron to half-strength. Worse yet, the new men are taking to both military discipline and their assigned duties poorly."

You nod in sympathy. It seems that despite the dismal level of readiness within your own unit, you're still the lucky one; at least Sixth Squadron is still nearly full-strength, even after the minor losses you took.

quote:

"What are you here for?"

Cazarosta looks to the side as you ask. "You mean at regimental headquarters?"

You nod.

"I am here to request that His Grace enter my squadron into consideration for any further active duties which may come up," Cazarosta replies.

Your eyes widen a little at that. 'Active duties' is a rather silly euphemism attached to combat patrols, raiding duties, and deep reconnaissance; in short, anything liable to get men killed, especially untrained, unprepared men.

"Are your men quite prepared for that?" you find yourself asking, almost involuntarily.

Cazarosta shrugs. "Perhaps not, but we shall not know for sure until they are put to the test. After all, men do not become veterans by training alone. Better that a few die in minor skirmishes than to face the prospect of throwing my entire untrained command into battle at our next time of crisis."

You nod. You suppose Cazarosta has a point.

quote:

"Good day to you, Sir Caius."

Cazarosta responds with a curt nod and passes you by.

It is not a long walk to your lodgings, but in the late afternoon, the streets of Noringia are packed with the men of the King's Army. Before the war, the small port on the southern coast of Antar had been home to twelve thousand people. Now, even with most of the original inhabitants gone and after the losses taken at Blogia, the place houses three times that number of soldiers, clerks, supernumeraries, and the mob of camp followers, peddlers, and shady businessmen that invariably follow an army at war.

You require the better part of half an hour to jostle, shove, and squeeze your way through the mobs of Line Infantry orange, Dragoon grey-green, and Navy blue. When you finally arrive at the small but comfortably appointed room assigned to you as your personal lodgings, you find a folded sheet of paper, sealed with wax, waiting on your desk.

It is from your father.

The seal in the wax is unmistakable. It bears the ornate coat of arms of a noble house—your noble house—imprinted in the soft red material. The seal was stamped by the signet ring that your father wears as the Baron of…

Aldershall.

Reddingfield.

Sanloren.

Ezinbrooke.

None of those are right.
(Feel free to write in!)

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.



Ezinbrooke just strikes me as right, for some reason.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Eh, let's just make something up.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


Somewhere Awful

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
Burg de Mag

George Rouncewell
Jul 20, 2007

You think that's illegal? Heh, watch this.
Gunesburg

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
Scunthorpe.

devildragon777
May 17, 2014

They'd be a lot more scary if they were more than an inch tall each.

Going for Ezinbrooke.

Leif.
Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester
Sandwich


-e- Yes, I know that's an Earldom, not a Barony. I'm hungry.

Leif. fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Apr 2, 2016

GyverMac
Aug 3, 2006
My posting is like I Love Lucy without the funny bits. Basically, WAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Dreggon posted:

Somewhere Awful

This is fitting.

akulanization
Dec 21, 2013

Is there a famous goon financial disaster I'm forgetting? Because if so we should name it after that.

Ikasuhito
Sep 29, 2013

Haram as Fuck.

Dreggon posted:

Somewhere Awful

For lack of any better idea.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

quote:

No, you're right. Your father is the Baron of…

Somewhere Awful

Baron Lowtax?

quote:

You pick up the letter immediately and unfold it, your mind awash with feelings of…

Excitement; I want to know what news my father has sent to his most beloved son.

Trepidation; my father and I have an often strained relationship.

Confusion; my father barely even spoke to me.

quote:



Sir Alaric d'al Sancroix
Age: 35
Rank: Captain
Wealth: 215
Income: 30

Soldiering: 24%
Charisma: 50%
Intellect: 60%
Reputation: 25%
Health: 75%
Idealism: 39% Cynicism: 61%
Ruthlessness: 95% Mercy: 5%

You are a Knight of the Red, having the right to wear bane-hardened armour and wield a bane-runed sword.

You can speak, read, and write the Antari language.

Unit Information:
Sixth Squadron, Royal Dragoons
Senior NCO: Staff-sergeant Lanzerel
Discipline: 25%
Morale: 30%
Loyalty: 25%
Strength: 96%

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Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.



gently caress YOU DAD, you never even spoke to me :smith:

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