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"Babe did you check in to Sassafras?" (on yelp) "Oh no!!!" "Well I checked in back when you were in the bathroom." "And you didn't remind me? rear end in a top hat. I see how it is, every man for himself."
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Apr 2, 2016 16:42
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"hey hun i posted a picture of us on facebook, you never liked it! don't you know how that makes us look?"
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Apr 2, 2016 16:44
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Schmorkyandhisgirlfriend.wav
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Apr 2, 2016 16:44
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But I don't want to be a pirate
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Apr 2, 2016 16:46
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"Hey I haven't seen you in four weeks because I am working 6 10hrs. days a week and you only work the weekend while going college. How are you? Still alive?" "I want to break up." A glimpse into my actual life as a millennial.
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Apr 2, 2016 16:46
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ultimateforce posted:"Hey I haven't seen you in four weeks because I am working 6 10hrs. days a week and you only work the weekend while going college. How are you? Still alive?" Checks out
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Apr 2, 2016 16:50
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im just thinking bout how this cereal is cute
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Apr 2, 2016 16:51
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"Hey, I've been thinking about polyamory"
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Apr 2, 2016 16:51
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ugh when i was like 20 i had the worst GF and she would argue about the most inane stuff. one tiem on a bus she argued about poo poo i dotn remember for a solid 30 minutes and when i got off a 50 something person told me how annoying it had been and i just kinda frowned at him and i think he knew i knew poo poo sucked. dumped her the next day. bachelor life 4evr.....
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Apr 2, 2016 16:51
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Apr 2, 2016 16:52
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"alright so Alphus get ready with your frost bolt for when Rictis pulls, save your cannibalize for anyone that gets stunned so you can cleanse" *muffled speech in background* "yeah i told you already i'll do it in a little bit" *muffled speech becomes more intense* "hang on guys, gotta take care of some bullshit" *muffled shouting in background* "no, you're not bullshit, that's not-" *muffled shouting continues* "hang on guys" *indecipherable screaming match follows*
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Apr 2, 2016 16:56
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"I have decided to drop out of college and talk up African pottery classes instead."
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Apr 2, 2016 17:17
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"i would like a caramel macchiato"
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Apr 2, 2016 17:19
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"I decided I am a man now, I'm no longer going to be referred to as a woman." "But does that make me gay now? I don't want to be gay! "Well I don't want to be a woman!" "gently caress your stupid rear end then"
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Apr 2, 2016 17:20
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:"I decided I am a man now, I'm no longer going to be referred to as a woman." "DAAAAAD, make my wife not make me gay any more!"
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Apr 2, 2016 17:22
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*grows beard on babyface while gf doesn't shave armpits or legs
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Apr 2, 2016 17:23
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symbolic posted:*grows beard on babyface while gf doesn't shave armpits or legs This checks out with the current girl I am dating actually. Starting week two of regrowing a beard.
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Apr 2, 2016 17:25
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*Sees other person completely nude, from head to toe on phone before first date.* *Later gets sent photos of girl cooking to show we can still be domestic!!*
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Apr 2, 2016 17:27
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I'm cheating on you with your best friend.
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Apr 2, 2016 17:28
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Gaunab posted:I'm cheating on you with your best friend. That's against the rules of our open relationship!!
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Apr 2, 2016 17:30
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ultimateforce posted:That's against the rules of our open relationship!! "You are not allowed to sleep with anyone prettier than me!"
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Apr 2, 2016 17:34
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happyhippy posted:"You are not allowed to sleep with anyone prettier than me!" "But you're the ugliest person I have ever met"
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Apr 2, 2016 17:35
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Gaunab posted:I'm cheating on you with your best friend. nooo
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Apr 2, 2016 18:18
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we are naming our baby after that hunger games character with the weird name i want a divorce
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Apr 2, 2016 18:24
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ultimateforce posted:That's against the rules of our open relationship!! But you have to have rules!? Otherwise it's just madness.
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Apr 2, 2016 18:29
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2:45 pm--- BF: "Hey, on DICE it says we should be spending at least 45 minutes in the same room every day to have work/life balance in our relationship. When was the last time we actually saw each other not on Skype? Anyway I love you my sweet forever and I sure hope you still love me too" BF: "You do still love me too, right Baby? 2:46 pm--- BF: "RIGHT BABY!?!!!???" 2:50 pm--- BF: "ME AND THE BABY MISS YOU BABY" 3:13 pm--- GF: "At wk skp ltr lv u [Pizza slices]"
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Apr 2, 2016 18:31
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im a fat horrible looking pedophile computer programmer with a skinny bi-asian runaway/raver girlfriend and we are arguing about our OKCupid +1 requirements
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Apr 2, 2016 18:34
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Top City Homo posted:im a fat horrible looking pedophile computer programmer with a skinny bi-asian runaway/raver girlfriend and we are arguing about our OKCupid +1 requirements ... in the unfurnished house my mom has been unable to sell after the divorce.
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Apr 2, 2016 18:39
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Top City Homo posted:im a fat horrible looking pedophile computer programmer with a skinny bi-asian runaway/raver girlfriend and we are arguing about our OKCupid +1 requirements Tell you the truth, this doesn't sound that negative. Skinny, bi, and asian, thats like the jackpot.
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Apr 2, 2016 18:45
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millennial fail man: im sjw. i'm reading gawker and saying "problematic" a lot. i'm not even pretending any longer when i say that i think women are as good as men and that traditional chinese cuisine isn't incredibly disgusting due to being based on literally eating anytihg during the Great Famine. identity politics ftw. millennial fail woman: agreed. furathermore, let''s start a healthy & happy + loving family, in a safe and nuturing enviroment which we are somehow, contrary to all that is just in the world, able to do even though neither of us know how to code
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Apr 2, 2016 18:56
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"Well maybe if your used an emoticon I would have understood your tone" "Stop using my Netflix profile! I set one up for you so your viewing habits won't influence my recommendations!" "We wouldn't have gotten lost if you had used Google Maps like I said, Apple Maps isn't mature enough!"
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Apr 2, 2016 18:58
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"No babe I am not signing up for a monthly delivery of organic milk"
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Apr 2, 2016 19:00
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Apr 2, 2016 19:03
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Tenzarin posted:Tell you the truth, this doesn't sound that negative. TCH pretty clearly said bi-asian, ie a woman who is of both chinese and japanese origin.
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Apr 2, 2016 19:03
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my girlfriend is transasian also 2d
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Apr 2, 2016 19:08
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Lol of COURSE she has an undercut
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Apr 2, 2016 19:13
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935 posted:"No babe I am not signing up for a monthly delivery of organic milk" you rear end in a top hat I was talking about raw milk you never listen to me, I'm leaving as soon as my iPad finishes charging
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Apr 2, 2016 19:17
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honey when you come home late it confuses the smart thermostat, look at this, the schedule's all wrong
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Apr 2, 2016 19:17
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Tenzarin posted:Tell you the truth, this doesn't sound that negative. the argument will be about whether she should gently caress around and the fat programmer will be manipulating her to get more runaway asians
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Apr 2, 2016 19:19
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 01:24 |
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emotionally stunted from learning everything about relationships from emotionally stunted parents
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Apr 2, 2016 19:23
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