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"Hurr durr, what if it were the fashion for every house were surrounded by plants you had to cut short and tend every weekend? You've been working hard at your job all week, so of course the first thing you want to do on your day off is sweat like a pig pushing a loud machine around for hours. DUrrrrr *shits pants*" -The jackass who invented lawns.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:18
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Somebody please make it fashionable for American homes to have paved terraces that require no care other than an occasional hosing down. TIA.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:19
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I think lawns are pretty cool, but I have a riding mower so I can't really empathize with your pain.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:19
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My mower even has a beer holder built right into the frame, its pretty awesome if I do say so myself (and I do).
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Apr 17, 2016 17:20
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satanic splash-back posted:My mower even has a beer holder built right into the frame, its pretty awesome if I do say so myself (and I do). so does my lawn chair
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Apr 17, 2016 17:21
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satanic splash-back posted:My mower even has a beer holder built right into the frame, its pretty awesome if I do say so myself (and I do). You know what else has a beer-holder? The table next to my couch, which is indoors and air conditioned. Yes I'm sure a riding mower makes the onerous task of lawnmowing less unpleasant, but I still can't imagine it being something I'd do voluntarily.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:23
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i personally take advantage of underpaid labor of unknown nationality for my lawncare needs
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Apr 17, 2016 17:23
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MY man, did you check ou tthe yard thread?
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Apr 17, 2016 17:24
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Applewhite posted:"Hurr durr, what if it were the fashion for every house were surrounded by plants you had to cut short and tend every weekend? You've been working hard at your job all week, so of course the first thing you want to do on your day off is sweat like a pig pushing a loud machine around for hours. DUrrrrr *shits pants*" -The jackass who invented lawns. Look at this poor that doesn't have a team of mexicans who do the landscaping every week.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:24
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Applewhite posted:"Hurr durr, what if it were the fashion for every house were surrounded by plants you had to cut short and tend every weekend? You've been working hard at your job all week, so of course the first thing you want to do on your day off is sweat like a pig pushing a loud machine around for hours. DUrrrrr *shits pants*" -The jackass who invented lawns. I've been saying this poo poo my entire life. And that's not even getting into the massive waste of fresh water that goes into lawn care nor the chemical run off that poisons the oceans and lakes
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Apr 17, 2016 17:25
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Fallows posted:i personally take advantage of underpaid labor of unknown nationality for my lawncare needs
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Apr 17, 2016 17:25
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Minimalist Program posted:MY man, did you check ou tthe yard thread? Oh cool. Maybe I'll post a picture of mine sometime!
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Apr 17, 2016 17:26
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I bought a high pressure water cleaner today and cleaned the heck out of my patio and boy let me tell you - the result was underwhelming and I got very wet.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:26
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I let my lawn grow my pubic hair: a jungle from which many enter but few return from
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Apr 17, 2016 17:26
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My front yard is a rock garden and my back yard is a patio.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:26
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I wish it wasn't against the law to grow food instead of lawns.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:26
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i tell you fwhat
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Apr 17, 2016 17:27
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Volume posted:I've been saying this poo poo my entire life. And that's not even getting into the massive waste of fresh water that goes into lawn care nor the chemical run off that poisons the oceans and lakes See? They're bad for the environment on top of being a lovely idea. Down with lawns, I say.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:27
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Minimalist Program posted:I bought a high pressure water cleaner today and cleaned the heck out of my patio and boy let me tell you - the result was underwhelming and I got very wet. let me guess electric and w/o a surface cleaner
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Apr 17, 2016 17:29
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I have a gardener OP. But then I am British. I found a hedgehog once in the back garden. They do NOT like coco-pops.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:29
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 Lawns are so boring, too. Plant a loving garden or something, at least have a real use for your wasted water if you're going to go through the effort.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:31
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Sometimes I put sea shells or cool minerals or sometimes fossils in my front yard for neighbors to enjoy, because I live in a walkable neighborhood in close proximity to a nice commercial district where there are some cool casual bars where people don't get too rowdy.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:31
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Why can't they engineer a strain of grass that only grows to like an inch high?
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Apr 17, 2016 17:32
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That's why I'm glad I live on a dense old street with not a yard in sight. Or earshot. Any place with lots of yards erupts into a cacophony of lawnmowers, weed wackers, and God only knows what else every loving weekend. Of course I live near some tracks and the whole house shakes on a regular basis but whatevv. Just get a goat if you have a yard.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:32
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Last summer I set up my grill on the front yard and gave out free BBQ and sous vide vegetables to anybody who was walking by who wanted to have some free food. I was listening to German hiphop with the sound turned up so that everybody could really feel the music while hanging out in front of my house.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:33
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I only cut my lawn every other week. Sometimes I let it go longer though, because the houses are way too close, and my neighbor on the one side is a psycho with a very specific strain of autism triggered by lawns growing. He cuts his every other day and he gets so irrationally pissed about it if I dare let mine grow even a single inch.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:35
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I enjoy mowing my lawn, its relaxing. I also have a huge garden in my back yard where I grow hops and fruit and vegetables and poo poo. I guess if you're too lazy to have a yard you should live in an apartment like a pleb.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:36
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I loving love lawns. Buy a riding lawn mower and get drunk as gently caress with no shirt on, riding around all attractive like for the ladies. This year I'm tearing out all of the landscaping around my house, getting a few tons of dirt, regrading around the house then replacing the mulch and putting in new perenials. gently caress YEAH. On the flippity though I think the spruce out front is dying. Something is killing all of the spruces in central Ohio, I don't know what it is but they're getting crushed right now like those rear end in a top hat bugs destroyed all of the ash trees. So gently caress no to that. I will be super pissed if I have to cut down and replace it with some stupid goddamn magnolias or a row of boxwood turd shrubs.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:36
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If you knew me, you'd probably want to come see my front yard or maybe sit on one of the big rocks and read a book there.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:36
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I'm ok with riding my lawn mower around on a warm sunning day, but gently caress weeding. gently caress weeding right in it's gay rear end.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:37
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VendaGoat posted:I'm ok with riding my lawn mower around on a warm sunning day, but gently caress weeding. The only time I have ever seriously injured my back was from trying to pull weeds out of a ditch because the dumb whore that owned my house before me put a garden in a loving DRAINAGE SWALE.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:39
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Fallows posted:let me guess electric and w/o a surface cleaner Yes and no, respectively. IT was also a 100 bucks and Im a retarded man who should not be trusted with any kind of power equipment.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:39
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cover it in pine straw and call it good imo
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Apr 17, 2016 17:40
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Keg posted:Last summer I set up my grill on the front yard and gave out free BBQ and sous vide vegetables to anybody who was walking by who wanted to have some free food. I was listening to German hiphop with the sound turned up so that everybody could really feel the music while hanging out in front of my house. noice, I would definitely have stopped for some free BBQ and hung out for a bit, had I been in the area at the time. But I would also definitely have had my kid/family with me and they would have bothered you and made it uncomfortable after a while.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:41
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Blue Train posted:cover it in pine straw and call it good imo Don't post my morning genital area hygiene routine in GBS thanks.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:41
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As someone who lives on 10 acres, condolences for your tiny yard people mad about lawns.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:48
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Make the lawn area really gloomy so it all turns into lush green moss. No cutting ever.
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Apr 17, 2016 17:55
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It's usually pretty relaxing and satisfying to spend a few hours outside on a nice day making your home look better. Not everyone wants to sit inside when it's nice outside. Or you can just pay to have it done
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Apr 17, 2016 17:56
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big grass, big lawnmower, and big fertilizer have colluded in a conspiracy to convince people what lawns are a status symbol of wealth and success when its all just a ploy to steal your money and make people self-conscious that neighbors will see each others lawns and one-up each other with dumb poo poo die lawn, die
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Apr 17, 2016 18:00
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satanic splash-back posted:My mower even has a beer holder built right into the frame, its pretty awesome if I do say so myself (and I do). Yeah but lawnmowers vibrate so much the beer turns flat real quick
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Apr 17, 2016 18:00
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