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isasphere
Mar 7, 2013
My dog just died minutes ago.

About an hour ago everything was normal, he was fine one moment, the next he made vomiting noises but when I checked, nothing had came out, and he got restless. I noticed his stomach had bloated, and he kept lying down one place, only to get up and go lie down somewhere else, rinse and repeat. He'd had done this before and it was always just diarhea, but in the back of my mind I kept wondering if I should call the vet. His stomach hadn't got quite that big the other times. He had no signs of fever, but sometimes he spaced out and I had a difficult time getting him to look at me. He kept panting (it is very hot around here tonight, as is normal this time of the year), and sometimes I got him to react, but I mostly thought his behavior was normal for the rare occasions he got sick like this. I -very foolishly, in retrospect- decided to wait to see if he managed to push it all out and geot better as it usually happened, and call the vet if he showed no signs of doing so.

We got him to go outside to the backyard, in case he finally excreted and to help him cool down, but instead he lied down. I kept rubbing his stomach, thinking he was holding it in (having diarhea scared him in previous occasions and he always tried to hold it in for as long as he could) so, although I was worried, I kept hoping the urge to poop or pee or whatever would win out. I even got some wet paper towels and rubbed his anus with it hoping that would do the trick.

I stepped inside for a moment because I really had to pee myself, and as I was washing my hands my Mom went out to check on him, came back inside, gave me a worried look in passing, went to get my Dad, and after a moment came back inside in tears and told me he had passed away.

We checked his pulse, tried to get him to react, but he really was dead.

He's still outside, lying under a blanket.

My Dad is trying to get a hold of some funeral pet services or the vet, who doesn't seem to have his cell phone on, or at least get contact info for tomorrow morning (it's past 1 am here), and I'm sitting here in a state somewhere between shock (I only managed to cry a little so far) and trying not to think about it at all, and wondering if we could have done something if I'd called the vet an hour ago like my instincts told me, or if it was already too late.

I feel like an awful person. I'm more sad and regretful over myself not doing something, not being there when he passed away, not realizing that he would die tonight, than over him dying.

There was nothing out of the ordinary today, he ate normally, drank water normally, pooped and peed just normally at his regular times, it simply happened abruptly.

gently caress.

He was old for his breed (Fila Brasileiro, he was an indoors dog but we have a big yard, it's not illegal to have them here), a little past 11 years old, when that breed's lifespan is usually 8 to 10 years old, and he was in pretty good health, not fat, no bad hips, his eyesight and hearing were only deteriorating slightly, which I attributed to his old age, he was still active, and he was very obedient and intelligent and he was a very, very good dog, and I wish I'd told him that at least once tonight. I usually do it every day, several times a day.

I keep feeling that I didn't do enough. I miss him already, but I think it won't really hit me until tomorrow when I wake up and he's not there.

Sorry, I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, I've never posted in this subforum before.

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TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

isasphere posted:



Sorry, I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, I've never posted in this subforum before.

you are fine, and doing your best. 11 years for a large dog like that is pretty good. there is no right way to deal with grief. Hell when my cat passed I went on quite the multi-day bender of lashing out rage/crying etc.

Thanks for sharing and i hope things get better for you.

isasphere
Mar 7, 2013
Thanks. It means a lot to me to hear that. I went into a crying spree starting last night and into this morning, but it's finally starting to feel like the world isn't ending after all. I still keep looking for him when I hear noises, but now it hurts less to remember he's gone.

Things were arranged this morning and he's now on his way to being buried somewhere nice with lots of trees, out of town. :unsmith:

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

isasphere posted:

Thanks. It means a lot to me to hear that. I went into a crying spree starting last night and into this morning, but it's finally starting to feel like the world isn't ending after all. I still keep looking for him when I hear noises, but now it hurts less to remember he's gone.

Things were arranged this morning and he's now on his way to being buried somewhere nice with lots of trees, out of town. :unsmith:

dont rush yourself, it takes time hell i still miss my boy and its been a few years.. it just hurts less sharply everyday. They all hurt, but thats what lets you know that they meant so much. Just take your time.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

I'm so sorry for your loss. :( You obviously loved him very much and gave him a great life, which is the best any of us can hope to do for our animals. He knew he was a Good Dog.

a life less
Jul 12, 2009

We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.

I'm sorry for your loss. Bloat maybe?

Having a pet die is the worst drat thing about owning animals.

maporfic
Dec 11, 2015
Sounds like your dog had a good life. These things happen. Sorry for your loss.

Official Bizness
Dec 4, 2007

wark wark wark



It sounds like he lived a life full of love with a family who treasured him. He knew every day of his life that he was a good dog because you and your family made him feel like he mattered. He isn't angry with you. He isn't upset that you left. He trusted that you would always come back, and even if it was a few minutes later, you did. You didn't break your promise.

Amberlyn
Jan 5, 2010
drat.

I'm sorry....and yeah, it hurts. It'll get better, but don't rush it. Takes as long as it takes...and I know that sounds like a stupid platitude, but it's true nonetheless. There's no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a pet, no time frame, nothing but dealing with it the way you need to deal with it..however that is.

He was A Good Dog.

Sekhmet
Nov 16, 2001


He either had bloat (more likely with the unproductive retching) or a tumor in his abdomen that exploded. Sorry for your loss.

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Quagga
Feb 16, 2016

Laughing at Nothing
Stuff like this happens. It's fuckin' tough, man. Regret will probably come and go in waves for you. I still think about the time I left our dog outside for an evening (house dog, never slept outside); she was deteriorating around that time so I was loving pissed at myself for not knowing she was out so long. I regret not taking work off the day pops took her to the vet; they made the decision to put her down. I knew that we probably were going to put her down if he took her to the vet. Missed a call, called back. Told me she died. Cried at work. Came home and felt like poo poo for not being with her because I missed a call. Little things will bother you, but you'll realize there's not all that much you could have done.

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