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t. Locks for doors: Tired of having to bar your door at night with a giant piece of wood? Tired of having someone have to stay at home all day with the door barred in case someone would walk in and take your personal belongings? Well we have the solution for you! Locks! Brakes for Wheels: Tired of having to always careen to a stop? Tired of losing control because you suddenly have to go downhill and your speed picks up alarmingly fast? Brakes! The revolutionary device that applies friction to tires and slows them down. No longer do you have to anchor your car to a post with worry of it drifting away from the forces of gravity. Cold Water Tap: Tired of having to take really quick showers or waiting for the hot water heater to drain before being able to take a shower without scalding yourself? You're going to love this faucet solution! |
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Jul 1, 2016 04:13
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| # ? May 4, 2024 23:32 |
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THIS FORUM: Tired of - uh... I shall get back to you .
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Jul 1, 2016 04:23
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the title on the patent is a Circular Transportation Facilitation Device, but we all just call it a "rolly-goer"
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Jul 1, 2016 04:39
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Are you sick of eating food off your table and having to clean the table before and after eating every time? Well have we the invention for you! Plates! Simply slide your food on it and you can carry your food to go! Its like a portable mini table you can store in your shelves and cupboards. They wash easy in your dishwasher too!
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Jul 1, 2016 06:33
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Sick of sweating while indoors? Why don't you pick up an air conditioner! 98 degrees outside? Keep it 69 degrees all year-round!! |
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Jul 1, 2016 07:28
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Tired of dying of infection from simple cuts and bruises? Try antibiotics. No more agonizing gangrenous limbs or fever wracked days of half-consciousness while your body floods with poisonous decay! |
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Jul 1, 2016 08:44
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We've all been there. After sixteen hours of grueling work gathering or hunting food, you fall asleep and when you wake up? You're hungry again! Can't anything end this cycle of never-ending backbreaking labor just to survive? Introducing Agriculture™ by SocialCorp. By specializing our labor and streamlining your gathering strategy plan, you can ensure you move smoothly from one bountiful plant to another, creating a CalorieFlow™ matrix that will give you the vital nutrients you need... and then some! Use your comparatively carefree hours to trade for other essentials or even just relax. Because it's your life. Don't spend it all on just on survival. |
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Jul 1, 2016 08:56
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It's happened again. Your struggling tribe has just secured a vital resource, and right after you celebrate, some rival group pops up trying to share it with you. You've read the playbook, you've deployed our Cooperation™ social module, but no luck here! If you cooperate and share, both of you will have members of your group starving. Your elders sigh and it seems like an intractable problem. Until now. Introducing War™.  Don't like what they other group is doing? Use our patented, sixth generation PersonStopper™ War™fighting Device!  You're probably thinking, "But SocialCorp... won't that just justify to members of my group that taking whatever you want by force is a perfectly okay thing to do?" Don't worry. We at SocialCorp have you covered, with an upgrade to the social module. Nationalism™ will give you the justifications you need, when you need them without sacrificing the tried and true SocialCorp contract you've grown to love. joke_explainer fucked around with this message at 09:24 on Jul 1, 2016 |
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Jul 1, 2016 09:12
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Tired of standing around the house? Do your legs get sore? Don't feel like laying down in bed or sitting on the ground? Introducing a revolutionary device to improve your homespace, workspace, and general life! The chair! This four legged structure you simply sit on and relax your buttox and back comfortably with support. No longer do you have to stand around your desk all day at work or sit on the ground when your legs get tired. Chairs! Get them today in your local furniture store ---------------- |
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Jul 1, 2016 09:31
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joke_explainer posted:It's happened again. Your struggling tribe has just secured a vital resource, and right after you celebrate, some rival group pops up trying to share it with you. You've read the playbook, you've deployed our Cooperation™ social module, but no luck here! If you cooperate and share, both of you will have members of your group starving. Your elders sigh and it seems like an intractable problem. I'll take two |
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Jul 1, 2016 22:52
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joke_explainer posted:It's happened again. Your struggling tribe has just secured a vital resource, and right after you celebrate, some rival group pops up trying to share it with you. You've read the playbook, you've deployed our Cooperation™ social module, but no luck here! If you cooperate and share, both of you will have members of your group starving. Your elders sigh and it seems like an intractable problem. finally, a clear and understandable pitch document that explains to me what it (war) is good for |
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Jul 2, 2016 00:50
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need to poke a dead body, but are afraid to actually touch it? Introducing STICK*! *STICK is a registered trademark of TREES
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Jul 2, 2016 00:51
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*edwin starr getting increasingly frustrated with muddled branding efforts* good god, y'all |
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Jul 2, 2016 00:52
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Tired of getting your clothes wet walking to work into the water because that pesky river is in your way on your morning commute? Introducing BRIDGE! Yes, bridge- not the card game, nor is it that weird mix of chocolate coated nuts. This is something far more extraordinary! Now you can drive OVER the river, just like in that Christmas song you may have sung on the way to your grandmother's house! Ask now for special pricing! Specials on exceptional real estate (once the tide goes out...) https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 2, 2016 01:05
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Microwaves, mom.
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Jul 2, 2016 01:09
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Robot Made of Meat posted:Microwaves, mom. hot |
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Jul 2, 2016 01:39
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dont you hate it when matter constantly converges into complex, messy, structures? well your worries are a thing of the past, introducing ENTROPY™ |
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Jul 2, 2016 01:42
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Nosfereefer posted:dont you hate it when matter constantly converges into complex, messy, structures? well your worries are a thing of the
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Jul 2, 2016 01:52
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What if I told you you could get unlimited mass without paying a single unit of volume? Get your Black Hole™ before they're gone! This event (horizon) ends soon!
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Jul 2, 2016 02:27
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I love you joke explainer
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Jul 2, 2016 02:42
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Tired of having to maintain knowledge through stories? Can't exactly remember how to make that tool you heard about? Boy howdy, do I have the thing for you THE WRITTEN WORD will let you pass on knowledge for generations to come! Make endless copies and share your information far and wide!
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Jul 2, 2016 02:45
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| # ? May 4, 2024 23:32 |
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How many days have you found yourself craving a huge, throbbing man-root, but you're worried about popping-out another squalling, live-action life ruiner? Or what about when the hubby just can't wait for the right time of the cycle? Or even if you really want to bang the neighbor, but you know Joe would never love an all-white baby? Introducing - CONTRACEPTION "Why keep it in your pants, when you can simply keep it safe?" |
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Jul 4, 2016 00:46
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