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Just remembered one: stick my face in their fur and inhale (I am weird)
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Aug 11, 2016 14:25
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 10:32 |
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Couch time comes at a price. 
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Aug 11, 2016 20:42
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I mess with Tuna by touching his toe beans. He responds by putting his other front paw's toe beans around my finger.  Then he pulls my finger into his mouth and bites it. Still worth it. (I have tried softly biting him back but he has taught me the defensive value of a thick coat of fur that is ready to shed into my mouth at a moment's notice). The Lord of Hats fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Aug 11, 2016 |
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Aug 11, 2016 22:28
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Talk to them in Russian  they have the biggest  ever cause they have no idea what's going on.
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Aug 11, 2016 22:46
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My kitty doesn't like being held, therefore I try to hold him up like Rafiki holds up Simba at the beginning of The Lion King. I have to do it quick as he gets all squirmy and I don't want to drop him from 6 feet up.
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Aug 12, 2016 00:08
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How the gently caress did I forget to add "laser pointer" to the poll?
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Aug 13, 2016 03:40
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Touching paw pads is a great way to mess with dogs. Also nose boops. Another easy thing is to take an empty pringles can and when they come over give it a hard squeeze. Between the loud pop and the lid flying off it'll give them a good jump. The classic fake out with throwing a tennis ball works well too, but if they figure that out just throw it really high instead. The few second delay gets them pretty good, doubly so if the ball manages to land on or right next to them.
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Aug 15, 2016 01:36
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Kiss tha cats on the mouth. I already have toxoplasma gondii so I dont care. Also, the ever elusive feet-under-blankets. Bottom of my foot is scratched and hurts but it's okay
Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Aug 16, 2016 |
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Aug 16, 2016 02:00
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Throw a pillow at him, act like nothing happened. Then demand he bring me the pillow before doing the l same again
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Aug 16, 2016 11:15
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I pick up Hobbes and Bones (cats) and they tolerate it, but don't like it very much. Bones has learned that a simple, whiny "tchah!" (like the sound your gf makes when she's pissed or offended) is enough for us to cease grappling with his meaty frame and set him free to bitch at us from the floor. Hobbes is a Maine Coon mix, and has the dumbest fur I've ever seen. He has perpetual teenage bedhead, and he matts up almost every day. So I've taken to simply tugging the smaller matts out the moment I notice them, which he also tolerates unless I get one that 'isn't ready' and he verbally complains (very rare). He prefers being held like a baby when picked up, weirdly. I also like to slowly slap them in the face with their fish-on-a-string-with-a-stick toy until they engage. Goddamnit I'm getting all of my $3 worth out of this loving thing! You trash beasts! Stop eating used q-tips instead!! Garbage. Just garbage.
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Aug 22, 2016 00:33
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porkswordonboard posted:I also like to slowly slap them in the face with their fish-on-a-string-with-a-stick toy until they engage. Goddamnit I'm getting all of my $3 worth out of this loving thing! You trash beasts! Stop eating used q-tips instead!! Ginny would fish q-tips out of the bathroom garbage and leave them chewed up in random places. I stopped putting them in the bathroom trashcan and go all the way to the kitchen can because its a heavy tall metal type with a lid. I've been doing this for 3 months now and she still diligently checks the bathroom trash every day to see if I forgot or got lazy.
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Aug 23, 2016 13:50
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i just headbutted one cat for 2 minutes and yesterday i taught another to headbutt!!!!!
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Aug 23, 2016 21:04
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porkswordonboard posted:I pick up Hobbes and Bones (cats) and they tolerate it, but don't like it very much. Bones has learned that a simple, whiny "tchah!" (like the sound your gf makes when she's pissed or offended) is enough for us to cease grappling with his meaty frame and set him free to bitch at us from the floor. Hobbes is a Maine Coon mix, and has the dumbest fur I've ever seen. He has perpetual teenage bedhead, and he matts up almost every day. So I've taken to simply tugging the smaller matts out the moment I notice them, which he also tolerates unless I get one that 'isn't ready' and he verbally complains (very rare). He prefers being held like a baby when picked up, weirdly. Same, I pull out the mini mats. But Its not actually to mess with him, its to help him, and hes happy when i pull em out (despite mrowing) but he is so happy afterwards. He actually has now learned and started doing it himself now (he was a feral and when the shelter got him he was pure mat so hes never done it before). I taught a cat
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Aug 23, 2016 21:09
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Thin Privilege posted:Same, I pull out the mini mats. But Its not actually to mess with him, its to help him, and hes happy when i pull em out (despite mrowing) but he is so happy afterwards. He actually has now learned and started doing it himself now (he was a feral and when the shelter got him he was pure mat so hes never done it before). I taught a cat I wish Hobbes would learn, he just wet felts his goddamn hair into tangles that are so truly impressive I would give him a medal for it if it wasn't so annoying. He was a feral/mystery outside cat too, so I can't tell if he just doesn't understand or he's always been this dumb. At some point my gf and I decided that the reason he doesn't really like us tugging the mats out is that he loves each and every one, and names them all "jeremy" (?? no idea why) because he's like Ralph Wiggums, personalitywise. Hoarding his Jeremys, his beloved mats. What a weirdo (I mean me)
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Aug 24, 2016 00:51
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porkswordonboard posted:I wish Hobbes would learn, he just wet felts his goddamn hair into tangles that are so truly impressive I would give him a medal for it if it wasn't so annoying. He was a feral/mystery outside cat too, so I can't tell if he just doesn't understand or he's always been this dumb. With the names this sounds adorable and cat-like
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Aug 24, 2016 02:50
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Last night Tuna was being very insistently pointy/bitey at me as I was trying to sleep. Head bops, noises of discouragement, and dropping him off of the bed didn't work, and the bedroom gets uncomfortably warm when you close the door, so in a fit of frustration I 'bit' him, pretty much getting my mouth around the entirety of his face. He got the message (sort of). What I am trying to say is that I will do astoundingly stupid things when I am tired, frustrated with cat, and trying to sleep.
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Aug 24, 2016 16:45
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I like to roll Sheila over and just raspberry her belly fluff. She gets all indignant and  , and I wind up with a mouthful of cat hair. I do this until she rabbit-kicks me in the face.
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Aug 25, 2016 07:45
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imo the things in the poll are all mean and I would never do them (except the pictures). What I do do is say unkind things in a sweet tone. My parents have a super lovebug cat who'll be all over me licking my arms, while I tell him sweetly what a weirdo he is and how sad it is his brain is the size of a walnut. With dogs a good thing to do is rub their ears hard the way they love while telling them you're pulling their ears off, yes they'll come right off in your hand and then you'll be a dog with no ears and then what will you do, all the other dogs will make fun of you. I eat cat ears, too. You have to make a good eating noise first to warn them the monster will strike, then you gently place your mouth around an ear. Over 30 years my parents have had 7 cats, and they've all gotten used to it. They probably tell each other "yeah I know, she's nuts, just go with it."
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Aug 27, 2016 04:16
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i like nice words
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Today I discovered the ultimate "gently caress around with catte" device and it is the cheap toy quadcopter she doesn't have a loving clue and is by turned terrified, enraged and aroused, it's brilliant (yes, I cut off the rotors if it's anywhere near her and I keep it out of her range, doubt those things could hurt anything anyway)
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Aug 27, 2016 05:24
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Poke him in the arm. Poke him on the forehead. Poke him on the side. Poke him in the neck. Poke him in the belly. Poke him on the rear leg. Get bit. Then about 5 minutes of playing. All while saying something sensible like, "You're not allowed! You're not allowed to be a kitty!" Sometimes when he's being annoying I'll tip him over and scratch his chest real quick.
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Aug 30, 2016 17:44
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I put socks across my cat's backs without them noticing. They look really annoyed and sometimes rip the fabric when they finally notice.
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Aug 30, 2016 20:44
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With my dogs - they were my gf's parents' dogs, then her dogs, now that they prefer me I have claimed them by osmosis (p.sure that's how it works) - I swap the first letters in their names around so instead of Winnie and Brindle it's Brinnie and Windle and they do not have the faintest clue which of them I mean to call Also Winnie is the go-to dog for trust abuse with not throwing toys, I've tried it with Brindle and he is seriously the dumbest loving canine, it's a miracle he can walk on any number of legs and it's purely down to his looks he's made it this far in his career as dog Never deliberately farted on any pets though, that's a first for me Illuyankas fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Aug 30, 2016 |
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Aug 30, 2016 22:13
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I don't really mess with tiger, which more my BF's department, since I try to teach her to not play with hands, and my BF likes to play rough with her, so he pokes her to get a reaction. But what she does to mess with me, is play jack-in-a-box. She'll hide behind a door, under a table, bed, you name it, and jump out at me. Nine out of ten times nothing happens, but the 10th time she scares the living daylights out of me, which apparently makes it all worth while. So one time, she was busy sniffing shoes, and I snuck up on her, and scared her so much, she did the cute cat jump, straight up, 4 paws off the floor. She totally loved that, as she tried to startle me twice in short succession right after. Sadly, it's hard to sneak up on a cat :P
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Sep 2, 2016 02:11
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Our cat Spice likes to sit behind my head on the back of the couch, so of course I lean my head back and rub it back and forth on her while she tries to sleep. She's so stubborn that she'll just sit there forever, enduring the torment and giving me a bitchy face. (sometimes she purrs)
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Sep 2, 2016 03:41
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Anti gravity cat. Minuit loves being held like you would a child so sometimes I'll lift him up and put his paws on the ceiling. He'll walk a few steps and the crane his neck down to give me his best  look.
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Sep 2, 2016 19:06
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Some champion pet annoyers in this thread. Well done. My parents have a fat cat I see often. If I walk by when he's in the middle of licking his leg or his butt, he'll usually stop in mid-lick and stare at me with his back leg sticking straight up in the air. So I grab him by the upraised leg and tilt him over backwards.
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Sep 4, 2016 00:34
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Lock the bathroom door so my cat becomes agitated and starts screeching when she can't bust in and annoy me mid poop as she does constantly.
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Sep 4, 2016 15:00
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My Himalayan is very stupid so sometimes when she's walking along I pick her up and point her in the opposite direction. She just stands there confused and swishing her tail back and forth because she's forgotten what she was doing. 
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Sep 5, 2016 15:35
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Playing wheelbarrow with my cat: picking up her hind quarters and forcing her to walk around on her forelegs. I nudge her forwards and she steers. Somehow we always end up in front of the food bowl.
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Sep 8, 2016 06:37
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Make a high pitched whining sound like I'm hurt and no matter what she's doing or where she is in the house my cat will immediately come running and start screeching at me and pawing at my arm to make sure I'm ok.
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Sep 8, 2016 14:13
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When my cat yawns, I try to stick a finger in her mouth before she closes it. 
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Sep 21, 2016 16:16
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Anne Whateley posted:imo the things in the poll are all mean and I would never do them (except the pictures). head butt if you've never headbutted a cat you've never lived poke nose you don't like to boop their nose? bite them playful bites are cute. cats bite eachother anyways pet them very strongly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GVVjd_exO8 call them silly names for a long time or loudly no way this is mean wake them up sleepy faces are funny, plus they're always happy to see you take excessive photos this is a good thing (post photos) trick them (e.g., say "treats" or "car") sounds mean, but depends on whether youre doing it maliciously (to hurt them) or not (just wanna silly excited face, and usually give in anyways and take them in tha car) have a stare-down see: headbutt hide their toys it's cute to hide them because they search for them, they dig and then are happy and bring the toy to you. they get a good workout find them in their hidey-spot see: wake them up Drum posted:I like to roll Sheila over and just raspberry her belly fluff. She gets all indignant and One of my cats today was rolling on her back and i remembered your post and put my head into her stomach and it was the most glorious, softest pillow I've ever laid on. I didn't raspberry, I was just enjoying the angelic softness 
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Sep 23, 2016 02:19
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Bugging your pet for no reason seems boring. I wait till mine is begging for food THEN I try to see exactly how much she will put up with 
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Oct 10, 2016 21:27
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Use them as props.
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Oct 11, 2016 04:56
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I put my index finger on my cat Jules's forehead and see how long it takes before he gets annoyed enough to hit me. My girlfriend likes to pick him up and cradle him like a baby. He has a weird macho complex, where he'll let her do it for minutes on end and enjoy it, but when he sees me or our other cat, he immediately scrambles out of her arms and pretends he was captured. I also hold down his tail (gently) while he is sitting and swishing it. It annoys him enough to investigate but not enough to want to fight. My fat bowling ball cat, Beatrice, is much harder to annoy because she is dumb. She dislikes being picked up, so if she's being very bothersome my girlfriend will give her a big hug against her chest until she goes away. She likes to annoy Jules by washing his ears. He has been tolerating it occasionally, but he usually hits her in the face.
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Oct 12, 2016 21:30
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I do this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGMt5FnFyuM
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Oct 13, 2016 07:02
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Thin Privilege posted:Just remembered one: stick my face in their fur and inhale (I am weird) With cat:  With dog: 
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Oct 18, 2016 19:10
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Gwamp posted:Use them as props. This is amazing. I do this to my dog all the time because I am an awful person: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc_nAmnCjW8
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Oct 19, 2016 18:34
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Things I do to my dogs: tickle their feet until they either lash out with them or start licking them to dull the effect ask them if they want some of "these ones" and hold a clenched fist near their face. they usually narrow their eyes, turn away, then turn back and bite it staredown until they break or try to fight me playfully (i know this is a dominance thing so I don't take it tooo seriously) call them names tease them with words they know the meaning of (i usually follow through tho i feel bad if i say walkies and they get all amped up for no reason, i liken it to what it was like when I was a kid) Snap my jaw at them and mimic their bark when they are being boisterous, leading to increasing levels of noise probably a few others i can't think of, they pretty much do what they want though (they listen to me but i dont have a lot of restrictions, if they want to sleep on the bed/couch, good for them, i'll come say hello later) so i think it's a fair trade.
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Oct 20, 2016 06:53
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 10:32 |
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the best way is to just stick your finger in their mouth when they yawn it's the most confused you will ever see any living thing ever
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Oct 21, 2016 01:44
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