|
We come from many different places, but terrible neighbors are a constant. Post your stories about horrible neighbors past and present in this thread! I'll start: When I was six, I was friends with the neighbor kid until he popped my bike's tires for no reason. My dad and I made signs detailing the things we would do to wreck their poo poo. He made the kid cry when he showed him the sign saying that our dog would poop in their lunches. His parents left their dog outside at all times, put their trash cans against the side of our house, and confronted my dad when he tried to take pictures of the trash cans so he could complain to city hall. Apparently they were having sex at the time. You can probably guess what they looked like.
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 07:05
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:27 |
|
|
one time my rear end in a top hat downstairs neighbors called in a noise complaint against me when i was drinking alone and watching hellraiser in my boxers. the cops were really confused when they showed up
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 07:09
|
|
|
It is a hard movie to follow if you don't catch the start of it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 07:12
|
|
|
Been living here for 15 years Neighbors pretend we don't exist When I leave in my car at the same time as them in the morning, they look the other way, as if they're scared to make eye contact They're a regular family, but for some reason seem scared as gently caress to make contact with neighbors at any cost The other side is an empty house
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 07:16
|
|
|
My neighbors across the street have one of those bigass inflatable swimming pools (same style as that goon one that was in a basement)... on their front lawn. Plus we've had to call the dog officer on them for leaving their dogs to bark for hours on end so many times they started to get fined. 
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 07:16
|
|
|
Regalingualius posted:My neighbors across the street have one of those bigass inflatable swimming pools (same style as that goon one that was in a basement)... on their front lawn. The neighbors in my OP built a shoddy wooden fence to keep their dog in. Years later, we had another set of neighbors who left their dogs out all the time. One night, one of their dogs got their head stuck in the gate. My dad and I helped it, then we let their dogs loose because they were terrible to them.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 07:20
|
|
|
I'm currently waging a goddamn war with our neighbors, because they use the driveway for our apartment block to access the back of the block and park in their yard. Usually I wouldn't give two shits, but it's against the law to trespass, whatever, and the culprits happen to be the noisiest sacks of poo poo in known history, whatever, but they didn't goddamn ask us for permission to use the driveway  .So I go on a crusade of polite letter writing, calling both our landlord and their landlord, speaking super nicely to them and putting up signs in the driveway.  They still continue to drive their loud-rear end clunkers in and out at random hours of the early morning, get into shouting matches outside my window (which stops being hilarious after a while) and have no concept of "this is not your driveway". So we called the local council to issue a more formal warning and let a wild turkey nest in the driveway, which has effectively turned up all their plants and poo poo all over their cars, plus now we have a sweet new neighborhood pet.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:44
|
|
|
When I was young my neighbor Jeff used to call me on the phone and trick me into coming over and going into the garage, and him and his buddies would throw deer buttholes at me. Apparently cutting the butthole out is part of dressing the deer, and they would save them in the fridge and scare me with them whenever they went hunting. I was like 9 and he was like 38. Also he'd always be like "hey Mike want a bowl of chili I promise it's not squirrel meat" so I'd take a few bites and he'd shout "hahaha it's squirrel meat!"
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:47
|
|
|
One time in college, we were having a house party, and after it wound down, I was reading our college forum's version of gbs when I saw a thread about lovely neighbors. The guy in the thread was complaining about loud parties and had posted about 15 minutes ago that his ceiling was now leaking due to his retarded neighbors above him. I got up to piss and my foot then splashed into about 2" of standing water. Apparently one of my idiot friends had dropkicked the toilet lever after firing out a sick dook, and the tank had been overflowing for the past two hours, flooding the bathroom and the room of our unfortunate neighbors below. Sorry neighbor.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:50
|
|
|
Here is a for real story of my drunk former neighbor. He built a shack out of all materials he could find, and it caught on fire. the local FD rolled up and just laughed and watched, leaving drunko to fernd for himself. he took a chainsaw and cut away the burning corner of his shack while all watched and laughed. it was funny. rip drunky
Cephalectomy fucked around with this message at 08:58 on Aug 2, 2016 |
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:51
|
|
|
Aren't you supposed to have house parties in a house, not a crappy apartment? I mean, it's right in the name.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:51
|
|
|
criscodisco posted:Aren't you supposed to have house parties in a house, not a crappy apartment? I mean, it's right in the name. You just got yourself uninvited to the party, pal
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:53
|
|
|
The rear end in a top hat neighbors have been dodging paying taxes so i sent photocopies of information to concerned parties like the cops and the IRS and then pissed on all the documents in their filing cabinet. Later that day i pissed all over their christmas poo poo. Later that week i tried to pull a big turd out of the toilet to leave on their doorstep but it mashed up in my hand. Trust me they're the bad neighbors not me. The tenant they had before evicting them was this hot old lady who paid me way too much to do basic household duties for her. Like one time i wheeled her garbage bins out to the street for $60 bucks. It was dirty money i learned that later but gently caress the rear end in a top hat neighbors for ruining a perfect side gig. They get poo poo for their piss scented christmas.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:53
|
|
|
if u waited till college to have off the hook stupid parties u are the worst
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 08:57
|
|
|
I've lived in this apt for ~3 years and always felt the soundproofing was amazing but for the past 6+ months I got some new neighbors in place above mine and they're the absolute worst. The dude of house gets up somewhere between 5 and 6 presumably for some ungodly early work hours, and he's super grumpy when he wakes up, there's almost always a super loud shouting match with his gf/wife, literally yelling poo poo like "gently caress youuuuuuuuuu' at 6am on tuesday, sometimes with loud thumping or crashing sounds accompanying it (but never like screams that indicated someone was being physically hurt, just like what'd you'd imagine a giant baby would sound like when throwing a temper tantrum). They also have two large rear end dogs that tend to race around when they're arguing so from 5:30-6:30 you're probably not gonna fall asleep if you wake up. I was getting p sick of it and was moderately close to either calling the cops on them or at least complaining to the landlords but I think someone else beat me to the punch cause they've been a lot less noisy this summer. I legit don't understand how they both put up with each other, it's not like kids were involved so if they hated each other so much there was p much no reason for them to not just call it quits.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:00
|
|
|
Usually I'm the bad neighbour, but I did have a downstairs neighbour once who "accidentally" woke up everyone in like six apartments at 4 in the morning by blasting Japanese porn on his speakers. Obviously I had to get back at him so I pissed on my floor confident that it would seep down and cause water damage. It didn't and now my apartment smells like piiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:00
|
|
|
When I was living in an apartment during college, one of the people below us played their music so loud that it vibrated the floors. I couldn't even wear earplugs to get away from it cause I could still feel it. This went from 10 in the morning until late evening nearly every day. It was so bad that we had the people above us knock on our door complaining about the noise. The look on their face when I told them it was the people below us was pretty funny. They moved out(were kicked out?) at the end of the school semester so that was that.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:33
|
|
|
Should've flooded your bathroom in hopes that the water would leak down and short out their stupid stereo system.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:35
|
|
|
edgeman83 posted:When I was living in an apartment during college, one of the people below us played their music so loud that it vibrated the floors. I couldn't even wear earplugs to get away from it cause I could still feel it. This went from 10 in the morning until late evening nearly every day. It was so bad that we had the people above us knock on our door complaining about the noise. The look on their face when I told them it was the people below us was pretty funny. They moved out(were kicked out?) at the end of the school semester so that was that. This happened to me, so during the day when they were trying to sleep id turn my speakers to the floor and blast the worst music I could find until they quit doing it
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:39
|
|
|
amityville anus posted:The rear end in a top hat neighbors have been dodging paying taxes so i sent photocopies of information to concerned parties like the cops and the IRS and then pissed on all the documents in their filing cabinet. Later that day i pissed all over their christmas poo poo. Later that week i tried to pull a big turd out of the toilet to leave on their doorstep but it mashed up in my hand. why are you in their house pissing on things? or do they leave their filing cabinets and christmas presents in the yard?
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:47
|
|
|
Registering and posting on a comedy forum for 10 years without understanding what jokes are 
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:52
|
|
|
Dragonstoned posted:why are you in their house pissing on things? He lives in the walls of their house.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:53
|
|
|
When I was 5, we lived next to a crazy old bat. It started with her staring out the windows at our house so often that my sisters would play a prank on new friends and tell them to just look out the window. The usual response was, "JESUS CHRIST, THERE WAS AN OLD LADY LOOKING AT ME!" We also caught her in our (locked) backyard on several occasions. She called the police on us constantly, but it was a sure thing when one of my sister's black friend, Brian, came over. The last time it happened we were having him over for dinner and joking about when to expect the police. And then the doorbell rang. My mom brought the officer into the dining room and explained how we knew he'd show up. He looked mortified and left. No more police calls. Things hit peak poo poo when she shot one of my sister's cats and he died from complications. I don't know much about the story other than that and it's still a sore topic 20 years later. We moved to a different neighborhood soon after. Last I heard, she terrorized the people who moved in after us, moved to the next town over, hosed with the wrong people and was forced to move back to my poo poo river town. She was 80-something in the early 90's, but I'm told she's still alive.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:53
|
|
|
When I was a kid, there was this total hillbilly family that lived up the street from me. They were the worst. The drunken rear end father would always try to start poo poo with everyone on the street for no reason, one of his little runts would shoot at cars and poo poo with his BB gun. One of the kids was retarded and they all called him "Tooter". Eventually they burned their house down for the insurance money.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 09:59
|
|
|
Cockroaches and fleas and you name it. You have to live somewhere. In the middle of the night when you see your front door knob turn slowly, that's when you're glad you have a lock.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:06
|
|
|
I lived underneath my landlady, and she thought it was loving hilarious that her husband would stomp on the floor at 5am. He had to wake up quite early for his job, but he wouldn't just walk, he would STOMP. When I complained to her, she laughed and played a recording she'd taken of his stomping, and asked me "did it sound like this?" Yes. Yes it did.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:08
|
|
|
I take it most of u havent lived in poo poo neighborhoods where people rob and kill all the time to get ahead
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:09
|
|
|
When I was a kid I built a tree fort with some of the neighbourhood kids and we spent days working on it. Their redneck father got mad at them for some reason so he made them dismantle the entire fort, including the parts I'd built. My fort.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:10
|
|
|
I am relieved that I am not listed in this thread. One of my neighbours has a cough. That's right, a single cough. Pretty reliably at about 10:15 pm he will be sitting outside and then, "GAHCHOO-GAH->HACK<- hoick" spit It's magical stuff to wake up to that every evening.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:10
|
|
|
When I was a kid our neighbor bred Huskies, but we were never allowed to go over and see the puppies because he wasn't a very nice man, so instead I would sit by the fence and cheerfully talk to the puppies and dogs when they came over to sniff at me. One day the neighbor opened his window and started yelling at me and I wasn't allowed to go talk to the puppies anymore In retrospect it probably wasn't a very good idea to let a 4 year old unsupervised near dogs, the fence didn't completely circle their property and I'd probably have walked over eventually.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:11
|
|
|
Cephalectomy posted:I take it most of u havent lived in poo poo neighborhoods where people rob and kill all the time to get ahead This makes me feel better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWNQ_CH-8RY
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:13
|
|
|
Zeluth posted:This makes me feel better. this is pretty sweet
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:17
|
|
|
The guys next door are like barely functioning alcoholics. One of them makes a lot of money and feeds everyone elses addiction in the house with a large amount of alcohol and drugs. They're not disruptive or anything but it can get tiring dealing with people who are ALWAYS drunk. They're pretty good neighbours though, the guy who owns the house will give you free drinks over the fence. It's just sometimes they'll sing really loud, play obnoxious music, have arguements and end up passed out in their garden till like 2pm.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:17
|
|
|
When I was really young, the lady who lived next to us would just sit and stare out her window at my sister and me playing. My mom told me that she and my dad tried to introduce themselves when we first moved in, but when she answered the door she just looked at them and said nothing until they left. Found out later, from someone else in the neighbourhood, that her husband had died at home under "suspicious circumstances."
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:20
|
|
|
Also, I lived across the street and a few doors down from the school bully. He would do poo poo like put rocks in snowballs and stuff like that. One time in grade 7 he fainted during sex-ed, and when he came to he asked "am I gonna die?" When I was in highschool, I was in my garage and he came in with his friend and started tearing my dad's tools off the wall. I told him to stop, and he asked if I remembered crying after he hit me on the head with a piece of wood. I said I did, and if he remembered fainting during sex-ed. He went bright red and ran away while his friend laughed. The last time I saw him, I was probably 24 or 25, and he was throwing eggs up in the air and watching them explode on his driveway. Just chucking them up and watching them fall. It was bizarre.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 10:39
|
|
|
For the most part I've lucked out with not having crappy neighbors, but that just meant when I did have one it'd be a doozy. I've lived at this complex for years without a problem and when my then boyfriend/now fiance and I decided to move in together, it was easier for me to talk to management about just relocating to a larger apartment in the complex than find somewhere new. Our problem with our downstairs neighbor started the day we moved in with her beating on the door as we're unpacking yelling that we're running water and it's flooding her bathroom. Maintenance comes by and it turns out it's a leak from another apartment that's running along the pipes in the walls and dripped into her bathroom. We figure no big deal, mistaken assumptions happen. But after that she became fixated that we're the reason for this loud pounding machine noise she's hearing, and begins this years long campaign of constantly aggressively confronting us about this noise. My fiance and I don't hear a thing like this and what noise we hear from the nearby complex boiler and heating/air conditioning unit isn't anything like what she insists she's hearing. She ends up going to management to complain about us repeatedly and they come to investigate to find nothing that could be describing what she's insisting. Management tells us to ignore her, she's on record being a constant complainer. From bsing with the maintenance guys we find out she's on disability and has a tendency to go off whatever meds she's supposed to be on. This ends up being the pattern over the years as management staff changes and when there's enough new people in the office, she starts up complaining about us again. It escalates to where security and management have investigated us to the point where they've looked in our closets, cabinets, checked the dishwasher and garbage disposal, and even gone into the air conditioning access to look for a source for this noise. One person from management even questioned our computers as being a source for this industrial machine sounding noise. Each investigation turned up whatever she's hearing, it's not us. She then starts badmouthing us to the other neighbors insisting we're meth heads selling drugs out of the apartment with her story varying with we're cooking meth in the apartment or we're making it at work and bringing it home to sell. At the time my fiance was working for the county's police dispatch and I'm doing 911. We also find out from other neighbors that she's the reason some of the others near us have moved out because of her fighting with them or constantly complaining about their kids. She pissed someone off enough they smeared dog poo poo on and around her door and at one point someone shot out her window one night. On the last round of her campaign against us, the owner got involved. After going through the years of paperwork on file for this and her starting up again with the latest batch of office staff she was finally sat down and told what she's hearing isn't us and is from the boiler or heating/airconditioning and anything else is normal apartment living sounds, so she has to accept it since the location of the boiler and all was there when she moved in or she has to relocate or move. Her harassment of us is to stop or she's evicted. She's been quiet since then beyond giving us evil glares when we pass her going about our day, and I can live with that.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 11:00
|
|
|
The woman used to live next door had five kids,from ages 2 to 15, and she was such an rear end in a top hat to them. Screaming at them pretty much all day everyday,her older kids constantly in trouble at school,she left her toddler alone by himself more than once and yeah me and more than a few other neighbors in this building and the other two buildings called CPS on her more than once and it didn't do any good. They didn't do poo poo. I'm just glad she's gone. She's one of the worst people that I've had next door in the 8 years I've lived in this apartment. This place got new owners in April and they've had cameras up for about 2 months now. It's not really as wild as it used to be but no one wants to believe the cameras are real so they're still wanting to openly deal,fist fight and act stupid. They've gotten rid a lot of the problem people and there are still lovely people going. The new owners say they're going to fix the broken poo poo but poo poo's still broke and I'll believe when I see it. It's easier to evict people than it is to actually fix the building issues.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 11:13
|
|
|
The Dog, Act One, Scene One Neighbour's dog: *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark*... *bark* *bark* *bark*? Us: Can you please stop your dog from barking so much? Neighbour: I'll keep an eye on it Repeat every day until the dog dies
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 11:19
|
|
|
one time my neighbor walked down the street and shot the guy at the convienience store 6 times in the face with a revolver. what a lovely neighbor the gas station guy was nice
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 11:22
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:27 |
|
|
Years ago, I had the worst upstairs neighbor. He worked 2nd shift so he'd get home at midnight and immediately start a fight with his girlfriend/wife (I never met the man so I don't know). It would start with the usual: "gently caress you bitch" "I'm going to loving kill you" "gently caress you" "no gently caress you" ... Back and forth and back and forth. It would go on for hours. I mean like 4 hours of fighting every single night. You couldn't hear the woman's voice, but he was really loud. Keep in mind, this was a big apartment complex and the floors were steel reinforced concrete. Yet his voice came right through. We called the cops on them a dozen times and nothing came of it. Per the rules of the apartment building, they should have been evicted after 1 infraction but the cops never charged the dude with anything. Finally they left on their own, and were replaced by, as far as I could tell, a big family with lots of kids. Constant thumping and banging, children playing, people leaping and tumbling (based on the sound). It sounded like exuberant kids having fun. It was absolute bliss to hear that instead of laying awake hoping that he doesn't kill her this time.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2016 11:33
|
|
