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I live in a pretty nice condo but for some reason half of the building is filled with loving idiots. The worst of them is the scumbag who lives in the first unit. He's a little Iranian dude in his 40s who lives with his mom. In the few years I've lived here I've seen him naked in the hall more than once, he's flipped his car over in the loving driveway, lit his mattress on fire, beat up and gotten beat up by his girlfriend in the hallway, and been arrested 3 or 4 times. He parks his rusty shitbox 96 Honda civic in the handicap spot out front. He's too lazy to use the front door so he cut a hole in the screen so he can open close the window to climb in and out. When he does use the door it's usually when he walks in with his drugged up girlfriend while they argue. He always slams his door and has his TV at top volume all day. The carpeting in front of his unit is all stained and his door is all hosed up. He collects disability for a leg injury that only seems to bother him when the physical therapist shows up so he doesn't work. The building has a no pet policy so of course he has a petting zoo in his unit. My favorite story involving him happened just a few months ago. It was like 11pm and I heard all sorts of yelling. Everyone else on our floor has learned to ignore this dude by now except for my dumb self. I go into the hall and his mother is yelling and crying hysterically into her cellphone. I'm hoping I'm gonna see him od'd on the ground dead. I finally get over there and see the dudes grandmother half naked on the ground in the main lobby doorway not moving with the rear end in a top hat and his girlfriend sitting around her. Apparently she had a heart attack, smashed her head on the wall, and was now on the ground not breathing. The girlfriend is on the phone with 911 giving instructions to the rear end in a top hat. She says "they said do cpr" to which he just starts slapping the woman in the face and yelling. They look at me and ask if I know cpr, I go "Nah" (I'm cpr certified) and walk by them and open the door and wait for the ambulance. They show up a couple minutes later and while they're trying to resuscitate her, the idiot keeps loudly talking about how she's gonna live because he did cpr while getting in the fire departments way. Well to wrap it up she died and the building was nice and quiet for the week the family was grieving. I might seem like an rear end in a top hat for not attempting cpr, but I've seen enough dead people in my life to know she was already completely gone and all I would've done was broken her lovely old woman ribs and given the family a reason to sue. AutomaticPrince fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Aug 8, 2016 |
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Aug 8, 2016 19:57
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 20:50 |
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