PBS Newshour posted:

look, i got a 100 percent in reading on my ACT

PBS Newshour posted:

I take an issue with that.

Allen Wren posted:

you seem to be kinda phallicly fixated

JakeP posted:

even if i dont win im better than all of you in life and in this game, suck my dick

Allen Wren posted:

you seem to be kinda phallicly fixated

JakeP posted:

homophobe

Allen Wren posted:

Oh wow, board game. I can't read. Go me.

Allen Wren posted:

Move 28-???

This will be the final game post of Twenty Player poo poo-Talking Candy Land.

I'm not going to talk much about what moves were actually made, though the complete rundown will be available in this post.

You'll see in my notes that I originally added in a lot of color commentary about what I was going to say about each move, "oh, that was close" or "stuck in yet another pile of gumdrops I see, Birdstrike" and so on.

And then I started noticing how long it was taking. And I realized that there were some fundamental flaws going on here.

(I've highlighted interesting bits in the notes, which, for the most part are players one square away from finishing getting dumped back to Plumpy or similar.)

Moves 28-37






Tommunist finishes on 29, Acebuckeye one turn later. At this point, I think, I'm on a roll!

Moves 38-43




Gummy almost show solidarity (the last blue card in the deck got dealt to Birdstrike that turn.)

Moves 44-49



The second of at least ten instances where a player on the last possible space draws a character card, and I doodle a possible rule idea.



I think this is from about here.

Moves 50-55


JakeP finishes on Move 50, CPig and Chaoslord within the next three turns, and it looks like Gummy may have a say in this after all.



Here's the table just after Move 52.

Moves 56-61


PBS finishes on Move 57 and it looks like Gummy is going to turn the tables...except Infinitum drew Mint back on 52 and won't be a factor for a bit.

In the meantime, things start getting nuts, with Lollipop threatening to win the whole shebang.

But of course Podima gets Plumpied and DJW drops into the Ice Cream Sea.

Moves 62-68

Disaster strikes Mint, just as they look to be sealing a comeback. RF and Idiot get Plumpied and Jollied while Birdstrike remains stuck somewhere (which was a running theme of the entire night, as the constant stream of "Bird still stuck" notes would indicate)

Also, you should listen to the albums I had on while I was doing this, it's good.

PLAYLIST:
Marissa Nadler - Strangers
Nine Inch Nails - Ghosts I-IV
Kraftwerk - Ralf und Florian
This classical record
Manzanera - K-Scope
Little Feat - Waiting For Columbus (live)



I believe this was taken around turn 62. Oddly, there's literally no one on the left half of the board.

Moves 69-75


Whenever you see a negative number in parenthesis, that's how short the player was from the final square when they got taken out by a wandering Jolly or what-have-you. On the 73rd turn, Podima finishes the game, meaning that both Lollipop and Gummy are one away from taking the title of best team.

Moves 76-87


Notes are definitely becoming less verbose now, and I'm doing all I can to minimize the writing. Unfortunately, the writing helps keep me focused, and prevents me from losing track of whose turn is where, so it needs to continue on some level.



After Move 81 and I'm definitely a bit fried. But I'm the one who decided to do this, so...



Either way, three turns later, djw crosses the line, bringing all of Lollipop home.

But we're not done, I guess?

Moves 88-99


Bird gets stuck in the gumdrops for something like the third time (not counting the once or twice he got lost in the forest or stuck in the swamp.) RF finishes up on turn 94.

Moves 100-118


At this point, things start getting a little bullshit. I tell myself, if we're not out of here in another 50 moves, the rules have gotta be hosed with. Also, Maigius gets the Queen Frostine card twice in a row, so they don't move the second time, since they're already there. It's starting to get a little Weird.

Moves 119-143


Things are getting so bullshit that Bird gets four moves away from Jolly then draws him again.

Moves 144-165


So, the new rule. From turn 150 on, each player can only be affected by a particular character card once. If it shows up again for them, they draw again. Should have thought of this 100+ turns ago. Birdstrike gets the gently caress out of Dodge come turn 158. The new rule first kicks in six turns later.

Moves 166-185


Final Rankings:

1. Li Dawny
2. CirclMastr
3. DivineCoffeeBinge
4. bowmore
5. Absurd Revolver
6. Tommunist
7. Acebuckeye13
8. JakeP
9. CapitalistPig
10. chaoslord
11. PBS Newshour
12. oldskool
13. Podima
14. djw175
15. Retro Futurist
16. Solis
17. Infinitum
18. Birdstrike
19. Maigius

and...ladies and gentlemen, your 2016 Candy Land Mr. Irrelevant:





20. AnAnonymousIdiot

Once again, congratulations to Li Dawny and Team Lollipop for winning in stunning fashion.



Thank you for playing Twenty Player poo poo-Talking Candy Land.

PBS Newshour posted:

HOW QUICKLY THE TABLES HAVE TURN

Allen Wren posted:

says the person who posted about fiasco which does not have a board

quote:

catan

quote:

proper board game

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Also Aafter is demonstrably the worst player of Monopoly right now he sucks so bad

Just like the rest of Team Shoe, they are loving awful

oldskool posted:

Worst board game experience, playing Risk

bowmore posted:

oldskool posted:

Worst board game experience, playing Risk with some friends of mine: One friend's new girlfriend immediately made a coalition with him to wipe out the rest of us, stabbed him in the back & eliminated him when it was down to three because the third person was the only other female in the group and "lol girl power", and then pitched a fit when she proceeded to lose because 2/3 of her forces got wiped out taking out her boyfriend.

They're still together & thinking about having kids

Antivehicular posted:

GLORY TO ROME MOTHERFUCKER

Allen Wren posted:

So, the story here.

Glory to Rome is a non-collectible card game where each player is a Roman politician whose job it is to build things and make cash and generally rebuild Rome after Nero fiddles. One of the mechanics of the game, and the key to this story, is that the game ends immediately when the draw deck is emptied.

Immediately.

Another is that I find it a frustrating and obtuse game. The first (and only) time we played this game was with two of our friends, at their place. Anti was doing fairly well. I was not. I was, in fact, either not understanding how to reasonably begin digging myself out of the massive hole I found myself in or just drawing the worst bullshit. Every time I drew cards, it seemed that literally none of them were useful or even playable. At this point I began to----at first in desperation, later in pique---use the vomitoriums I built to dump cards from my hand to the discard pile every turn, drawing back as many as I dumped. I ended up drawing the deck dry literally the turn before Anti would have won the game with the cards already in her hand.

This was the root cause of probably the biggest fight we've had in our six-year relationship or in the decade we knew each other before said relationship.

"Glory to Rome" has thus basically become shorthand for us for any situation involving petty, mean-spirited fun-ruining.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

This is why when the guy who hosts our regular gaming nights (the aforementioned almost-got-punched-in-the-face-guy) suggests playing Diplomacy I shout NO as loud as I can.

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Some of the most fun LP threads were the spate of Diplomacy games that goons were playing some years back, complete with refereed gray press, peanut gallery commenting, and poo poo-talking. The quote that particularly stands out in my memory was "Okay, now that I'm convoying his army, do I have to drop it off where I said I would?"

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

I played in one goon Diplomacy game and decided 'never again,' because holy poo poo.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

I played in one goon Diplomacy game and decided 'never again,' because holy poo poo.