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I mean, uh, I'd draw dicks on their foreheads.
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Aug 21, 2016 05:48
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i would pose my baby on their body in different funny poses and costumes haha
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Aug 21, 2016 05:49
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oh and take pictures I wouldn't leave my baby at a crime scene
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Aug 21, 2016 05:50
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I would leave my victims laying face-down, shirtless then I would put ink all over my rear end then press my rear end against their backs leaving a pattern of my rear end. They would call me "the assback mangler"
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Aug 21, 2016 05:50
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Nobody steal my idea its copyright
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Aug 21, 2016 05:51
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JiveHonky posted:Nobody steal my idea its copyright guess what
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Aug 21, 2016 05:52
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Friginator posted:
Is the first one a reference to when marilyns skirt gets blown upward by the passing subway and you can see her panties? You know, in the seven year itch?
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Aug 21, 2016 05:53
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Celluloid Sam posted:i would pose my baby on their body in different funny poses and costumes haha dont sign you're are posts
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Aug 21, 2016 05:54
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ROFLburger posted:dont sign you're are posts hmm good try but nope im not feeling it
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Aug 21, 2016 05:55
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Celluloid Sam posted:hmm good try but nope im not feeling it agreed. Its too self aware and deconstructive. tsk tsk.
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Aug 21, 2016 05:59
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None. Calling cards are for attention whore idiots. If you are killing for the art, and pleasure you will do it for its own sake not for the attention. The best never seek out the police the police eventually come to them, or everyone finds out about it years later.
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Aug 21, 2016 07:14
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Smiling Mandrill posted:None. Calling cards are for attention whore idiots. If you are killing for the art, and pleasure you will do it for its own sake not for the attention. The best never seek out the police the police eventually come to them, or everyone finds out about it years later. Welp, it took three pages, but the honey pot finally lured in the Goon serial killer.
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Aug 21, 2016 07:17
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Kuato posted:Welp, it took three pages, but the honey pot finally lured in the Goon serial killer. The Mandrill AV fits though too.
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Aug 21, 2016 07:19
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I would leave copies of my upcoming novel, "The Wizards from the Moon", at the scene of every crime. I think that way I would get a lot of publicity and maybe wind up with a book deal!
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Aug 21, 2016 07:22
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Jukeboxblues posted:I would leave copies of my upcoming novel, "The Wizards from the Moon", at the scene of every crime. I think that way I would get a lot of publicity and maybe wind up with a book deal! You'd gain some notoriety, but not sure how you'd monetize the opportunity. And no one reads anymore anyway so your plans are encountering some logistical issues right off of the bat.
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Aug 21, 2016 07:25
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I'd leave a note with the alphabet all jumbled up, but missing one letter (the same one every time). When I eventually get caught, and someone asks me "why?", I'll cock my head at an angle and give them a mischievous grin. They'll think for a second, slap their forehead, let out a groan and yell, "lock him up!".
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Aug 21, 2016 07:26
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has anyone mentioned NOT GETTING CAUGHT YET? if not then i call dibs
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Aug 21, 2016 07:26
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Celluloid Sam posted:guess what lol
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Aug 21, 2016 07:27
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Kuato posted:You'd gain some notoriety, but not sure how you'd monetize the opportunity. And no one reads anymore anyway so your plans are encountering some logistical issues right off of the bat. They would make it into a 4 part movie and then idiots would also buy the book so they can try and impress their friends by saying really cool comments like "Wow this is not how it happened in the book!"
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Aug 21, 2016 07:29
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the rock bottom, they would call me the jabroni killer
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Aug 21, 2016 07:32
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Kuato posted:Welp, it took three pages, but the honey pot finally lured in the Goon serial killer. Look at my post man. If traveled the country killing people the last thing I do is be online bragging about it. Everyone knows that the internet is the fastest way to spread information. How many people read SA? I don't know, but its more than none. I know we have police officers, and ex police on here, so if I were a killer the last thing I'd do is advertise.
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Aug 21, 2016 07:53
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Smiling Mandrill posted:Look at my post man. If traveled the country killing people the last thing I do is be online bragging about it. Everyone knows that the internet is the fastest way to spread information. How many people read SA? I don't know, but its more than none. I know we have police officers, and ex police on here, so if I were a killer the last thing I'd do is advertise. How very clever of you, hiding in plain sight!
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Aug 21, 2016 07:59
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The Endbringer posted:How very clever of you, hiding in plain sight! LOL that is what they do. They walk by you in Walmart, and you think nothing, because they are just another face. No outstanding features no tattoos, no distinct style. They are an every man they say please, and thank you, yes sir, and no mama.
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Aug 21, 2016 08:08
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Smiling Mandrill posted:LOL that is what they do. They walk by you in Walmart, and you think nothing, because they are just another face. No outstanding features no tattoos, no distinct style. They are an every man they say please, and thank you, yes sir, and no mama. ...and beat off to anime
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Aug 21, 2016 08:23
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Pudding Huxtable posted:...and beat off to anime Thank you for clearing me of these wild accusations.
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Aug 21, 2016 08:38
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I would kill only people in bungalows and spray on the walls 'DID NOT HAVE STAIRS IN THE HOUSE'
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Aug 21, 2016 08:40
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I'd pose the adult victims in various states of enjoying Trix cereal and plant evidence framing their children for the murder I'm the Trixter
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Aug 21, 2016 08:51
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Nice try OP im not gonna have a calling card or leave any evidence my move would be to force them to look directly into my anus until they lose their will to live and let them do the work
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Aug 21, 2016 09:03
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I will become the goatse killer, leaving a Polaroid of me standing over the victim with my rear end stretched open. The only clue the police will have is that they're looking for a married man with a gigantic butthole
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Aug 21, 2016 10:18
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Imagine the loving police lineup. "Ok number 3, stretch your butt as far as it goes" "No that's not him, chief."
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Aug 21, 2016 10:21
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The Protagonist posted:uno cards "you didn't say uno"
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Aug 21, 2016 10:24
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Gently KRS posted:I will become the goatse killer, leaving a Polaroid of me standing over the victim with my rear end stretched open. leave the victim doing that facing the front door imo
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Aug 21, 2016 11:47
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I would simply leave a tasteful, bleached-linen rag cloth business card reading: PEST CONTROL Ask me about mass discounts
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Aug 21, 2016 12:11
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mixtapes of obscure music. seemingly random tracks form together a sort of concept album about the murder. team of invrstigators will spend time piecing together the story, using Shazam app to look for the songnames and cover artwork.
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Aug 21, 2016 13:10
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laserghost posted:mixtapes of obscure music. seemingly random tracks form together a sort of concept album about the murder. team of invrstigators will spend time piecing together the story, using Shazam app to look for the songnames and cover artwork. make sure u target audiophiles too
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Aug 21, 2016 13:11
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Removal of the heart with an obsidian knife and flaying the skin to wear later. Both in honor of Xipe Totec.
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Aug 21, 2016 13:12
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I'd find and dig up their mothers grave and put them in an erotic pose with the corpse.
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Aug 21, 2016 13:17
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You've absolutely gotta find your victims randomly if you're doing it for no other reason but to kill. But if you got a big ego and must gently caress with cops, let them know they'll never catch you I'd probably use the telephone book and, I would leave the page containing the victim's name on the victim's body. But really Smiling Mandrill posted:The best never seek out the police
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Aug 21, 2016 13:31
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put all their homes content into a storage unit and let it lapse so it ends up on some dumb show like storage wars
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Aug 21, 2016 13:36
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How about leaving a different special edition flavor of Oreo's at each murder? "I hear the red velvet creme Oreo is... to die for" 
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Aug 21, 2016 13:40
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