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nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
"i don't drink, i don't smoke, i need food or money, i live on the streets. i don't put drugs or poison in my body, knowing i have AIDS. i'm asking for any food or money you can spare."

these folks are common on the subway. they ride for hours, or all day. anyone who has lived in the city will know them. the tactic is excellent. captive audience, demographic cross-section, constant turnover, small initial investment; and the cars are climate-controlled. if i was on the streets and begging i'd do this.

the cost is springing for a well-rehearsed spiel like this, and reciting it hundreds or thousands of times a day, being rejected and ignored the majority of the time. but i guess that's true for people who sit in the same spot all day with a cup or a sign.

"i have a dollar and a pretzel. any food or money is a help."

he's holding a couple paper food wrappers in hands that look oddly swollen. am i imagining this? is it a symptom of AIDS? malnuorishment complicated by frequent illness, who knows.

i get an apple from my backpack i scrounged from work. i was planning to save some up for apple sauce. oh well. i offer it to him.

"i got no teeth," pulling back his upper lip with one finger to show he isn't lying. he's not. there's a look in his eyes as close to a shrug as he's going to get.

i turn the apple over in my own non-shrug and put it back. he moves on, turning a one eighty and starting over. somebody gives him a dollar.

lol. there is no limit to the varieties of human despair.

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a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
Judging by the thread title I thought this was going to be a logic puzzle but apparently it was just OP's first time in the big city? Or some kind of fanfiction with the sex bits cut?

Please clarify with statement of intent if false.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
hey charlie sheen man how ya doin

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Who cares gently caress you op come back if you murder one

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Voted 1 loving garbage thread

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
first time in the big city what the hell??

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
first i want to say these dogs are not bulldogs, second i want to say you don't know me man, you don't know me

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Sounds like you should've let him poz your neg hole

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

nomadologique posted:

you don't know me man, you don't know me

Fair enough just clumsily trying to make sense of this thing we call life.

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy
Wow spooky story OP glad you didn't get fuckin owned

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy
op you should write a play about it

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

dont feed the wildlife

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

nomadologique posted:

i get an apple from my backpack i scrounged from work. i was planning to save some up for apple sauce.

there is no limit to the varieties of human despair.

truly there is not lmao

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


John Mulaney is a funny guy.

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insulated staircase
Aug 21, 2014

don't feed the animals

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