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Congrats to Aredna for winning season 3! We begin as we must always begin, with the official Calvinball theme song. (Feel free to join in harmonizing on the rum tum tums)  OFFICIAL CALVINBALL FF SONG Other leagues' games are all such a bore! They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score! Calvinball is better by far! It's never the same! It's always bizarre! You don't need a GM or a referee! You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me! THE UNCHANGING RULES OF THE CALVINBALL LEAGUE 1. All players must wear a mask. .......a. No one may question the masks. 2. Every week each player may change one scoring rule, provided that rule has not: .......a. Already been changed by someone else that week. .......b. The rule has not already been played in the same way this season. (Not strictly enforced, but if someone notices and mentions that a player keeps "resetting" a favorite rule every other week, actions will be considered. Change it up, keep it fun. .......c. No rule can overturn or change the week's Calvinball rule. 3. All rules should be declared in this thread using the following format: NEW RULE! NEW RULE! Week 2: Completions are now worth -3 points!!! 4. All rules must apply to the entire league, no singling people or a team's specific players out. 5. Enforcement of the rules is everyone's responsibility. If something is amiss, mention it in the thread. Be honest, the game is only fun if everyone participates. 6. Mom says no: All rules must be implementable on ESPN, anything that can't be implemented due to software limitations will be declared void due to parental oversight. Seriously, you'll put your eye out and it's been well established that Anubis can't do math. 7. For the sake of the GM's sanity, rules should be declared 8. Everyone must play all of their (valid) starters. ESPN doesn't allow league rosters to change week to week so there will be may be spots left open if those have been turned off by a rule change. Also, all of your rostered players must see the field, so using backup quarterbacks (unless that is literally all that is available and valid) is potentially unacceptable. If a player gets struck by lightning pregame and doesn't see a snap but there was no way for you to know, we will deal with it on the fly as best we can. THE CALVINBALL The team with the worst score the week prior is declared to have the Calvinball. If you posses the Calvinball during the rules declaration period you can use it and send player(s) to jail for the week. Example: "Example posted: quote: I HAVE THE CALVINABALL! I HAVE THE CALVINBALL! Week 3: I hit "Chris" with the Calvinball. Anyone with the first name of Chris goes to jail and has to be benched this week! The above would require all players with the name "Chris" be benched for week 3. So, Chris Johnson and Chris Ivory are both sitting this week. Do not make these overly broad! This is about fun, not sending someone to the waiver wire to research backup punters. You may also use the Calvinball to make an extra rule adjustment about the roster, be sure to declare that it's your Calvinball rule since Calvinball rules do not carry over to the following week. As with last season, I'll create the league with huge rosters and benches. We are starting the season with your basic QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, FLEX(no qb), K, DEF setup until rules start changing it. As always I'm looking for help GMing this chaotic mess. If I don't get some more volunteers I'm making everyone GM and we're going to play by the honor system. Anubis fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Sep 3, 2016 |
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Sep 3, 2016 15:04
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FAQ Q: What the hell is this? A: The fantasy football equivalent of a game the 80s-90s comic strip characters Calvin and Hobbes would play. Calvin was a free spirit, hating the claustrophobic rules of normal organized sports and competitions. This lead him and Hobbes (his stuffed tiger) to create their own game with rules they made up as they went. In a lot of ways, Calvinball has always been played by children the world over. Q: So, you just change the rules each week? A: Yes, everyone gets 1 rule change a week that they can use however they want. If they want to make it a 2QB league or they want to suddenly make rushing yards -70 per yard, perfectly acceptable. Rules carry over until someone else changes them in a following week. There's also a special rule every week called the "Calvinball rule" that you can read about in the rules above. Q: Do you do a normal draft? A: Our drafts are glorious. Seriously, there is no overstating the wonder of seeing a sudden round 6 run on defenses. Q: Can I join? A: If you weren't in it last year post and put your name on the waiting list, it's very likely we will have openings. Last years players: Aredna - Confirmed returning Marshmallow Blue - Confirmed returning Fenrir - Confirmed returning Baldrash - Confirmed returning Anubis - Confirmed returning JPrime - Confirmed returning OxySnake - Confirmed returning Wait List (If you posted to be on the wait list in the S3 thread and I missed you, link to your post and I'll slot you in where you belong) Teeter Teemu Pokemon Nephzinho Ches Neckbeard McStabby MISS WORMWOOD Endzone HO!..............................5-1 The Babysat..............................4-2 The End Zone is Lava.....................4-2 A Nauseous Nocturne......................3-3 The Grude Abides.........................2-4 MAKING FANTASY GREAT AGAIN...............0-6 ROSALYN Get Rid of Stupid KickerS................6-0 The Noodle Incidents.....................3-3 All QBs are Just Sacked .................3-3 The Revenge of Goodelled.................3-3 Y as IN Y do We Care - ..................2-4 Hill and Bernard.........................1-5 Anubis fucked around with this message at 13:16 on Oct 25, 2016 |
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Sep 3, 2016 15:04
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We're going to have to go for either Monday or Tuesday for a draft day, if either of those don't work for you speak up and we'll do our best to make sure people don't auto.
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Sep 3, 2016 15:17
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Fight Club Sandwich posted:It's been a great 3 seasons, this league is so much fun but i can't keep up with weekly rule and roster changes with new IRL responsibilities, i'll let someone else join the fun Thanks again for all of your great help. Two of the wait list have been bolded, get me email addresses to send invites while we wait for word from the others.
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Sep 4, 2016 21:48
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If anyone knows how to get hold of gardenald or KalenSC please direct them to this thread asap. I'm pushing the draft back a couple extra hours (assuming we can fill in the gaps so ESPN will let me) in hopes that we can fill this up. If you're on the wait list, especially if you're name is now bolded, please post or PM you're email address for your invite.
Anubis fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Sep 5, 2016 |
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Sep 5, 2016 22:43
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Fenrir posted:I had to fix a couple scoring things just so I wouldn't get error messages. Those are fixed now - all the crap I had to fix (punter and HC scoring) is set at 1 point just to make it stop giving me red flags. We may have to, we have to fill the league (ie: the invites I sent out have to be accepted) before they will let us draft. As it stands, let's plan on tomorrow.
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Sep 6, 2016 00:11
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Fenrir posted:Push it quick, because the draft as it now is set to start in 37 minutes. ESPN is being a pain in the dick tonight. It's getting DDoSed or something because it's login is broken. Either way, if it does somehow record a draft tonight we will redo it tomorrow once we have everyone more or less situated. I guess if you want to mock draft, espn is going to run one in about 15 minutes for us... because Calvinball isn't bad enough, you feel the need to mock draft on top of it! Anubis fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Sep 6, 2016 |
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Sep 6, 2016 01:10
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With Kalensc bowing out McStabby is up, if any of the LMs can get his email put in today we'll be all set to go for tonight and another crazy season of calvinball will come again! And I even promise not to mess with the draft timer like I did in the mock.
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Sep 6, 2016 11:37
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NEW RULE! NEW RULE! Dyslexic Math Week 1: Passing yards are now worth 20 points a yard.
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Sep 7, 2016 01:52
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OxySnake posted:gently caress man sorry to hear that. That's what they start at, yes. Fenrir posted:God loving drat it. I'm sorry guys.. I got laid off from my job this afternoon. I missed the draft and I don't even know what players I have right now. Uck, that sucks man. Don't worry too much, you'll get through it and so will we.
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Sep 7, 2016 04:22
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Marshmallow Blue posted:Anyone, but they must play 1 snap. Welcome to the wonderful world of fullbacks being viable in fantasy football.
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Sep 9, 2016 05:55
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Aredna posted:I obviously shouldn't get the calvinball for failing to realize we were starting 2 qbs this week. Never goes to anyone that fails to set a proper lineup imo Yeah that's been the typical ruling unless it was for something silly like punters when there's no punting rules or similar. Calvinball goes to The Revenge of the Goodelled.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:38
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NEW RULE! NEW RULE! I want a lot of punters! Open up that 2nd punter slot and let's ride!
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Sep 15, 2016 04:44
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So, and someone feel free to double check/correct me here, current rosters should look like: QB RB RB WR WR TE TE K P P DEF unless someone sneaks another rule in, in the next hour or two.
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Sep 15, 2016 04:49
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McStabby posted:Shouldn't flex be in there? You are right. Thanks! QB RB RB WR WR TE TE FLEX K P P DEF
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Sep 15, 2016 14:01
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Aredna posted:It should be OK as I changed a different scoring category and the other rule change only changed "Punt Yards" and mine was to "Net Punts". They are essentially the same as "Rushing Yards" and "Rushing Attempts" the best I can tell. Yep, different categories on ESPN so it'll be valid. The end result will be that if you don't get at least 47 yards on a punt you're losing points and if you get over that you're gaining them at a pretty quick pace. OxySnake posted:New Rule New Rule! As noted, it appears it was already changed this week. Rule rejected! Anubis fucked around with this message at 14:07 on Sep 15, 2016 |
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Sep 15, 2016 14:02
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Got the scores SS for week two. We apparently got one missing owner so if anyone wants to take over speak up. I'll get the standings put in the reserved post sometime tonight.
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Sep 20, 2016 13:27
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Marshmallow Blue posted:My opponent broke the Calvinball Rule. Elliot appears to be his own punishment as no other RB on his bench would have hurt him as much, so that one can stand as is. Julio gets swapped for Sammy Watkins which lowers Grudes score by 1166, giving him 17192 and the loss.
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Sep 20, 2016 22:24
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McStabby posted:Who has the Calvinball this week? I do.  I HAVE THE CALVINABALL! I HAVE THE CALVINBALL! Care for your hurt bird. (I won't post the C&H strips because frankly they are sad, but if you're a fan you might remember them.) This week you may only play ONE player from teams with a bird mascot. This includes the Eagles, Falcons, Seahawks, Cardinals and Ravens. No one is strictly eliminated from play but remember you only get one so if you play 2 or more you're only keeping your lowest scoring bird. Defenses will not count towards this total. NEW RULE!!! NEW RULE!!! To make picking players easier I'm eliminating a TE slot with my weekly rule. Anubis fucked around with this message at 05:32 on Sep 22, 2016 |
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Sep 22, 2016 04:22
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New Rule!!! New Rule!!! Flex your arms You can now use a QB in your flex. I mean, you don't want to right now but you could and isn't that worth something? Note: The way we have handled this in previous years is that if there's 1 or fewer QB slots you can use a "spare" QB slot instead of your flex spot. Anubis fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Sep 29, 2016 |
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Sep 29, 2016 03:37
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Fenrir posted:I have no idea how to implement that, honestly. I think we did the QB flex thing when there was only 0 or 1 QB slots and we could use a QB slot instead of a flex spot. The software just won't let us put a third QB anywhere, so basically Mom Says No unti someone nukes a QB slot. Correct, if both QB slots are open you can't use QB as a flex. There aren't enough reasonable QBs around anyway for us all to use 3. Also, I have house guests this week so sorry but I'm dropping the ball even more than usual.
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Oct 7, 2016 13:10
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Marshmallow Blue posted:New Rule New Rule! Normally you can only open up one slot at a time but I'm in a good mood so I'm allowing it this week because A) It's fun. and B) you posted a good Calvin strip piece to go with it. This week only, due to this sudden change, you can close 2 spots each (different positions only).
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Oct 12, 2016 13:38
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What Fenrir said. New Rule!!! New Rule!!! I don't like running or being told what to do! Remove a RB slot and the HC slot.
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Oct 13, 2016 02:42
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Uh.... what's happening people? Here's our scores for the week. Have people given up on the league? We didn't have any rule changes so far this week.
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Oct 20, 2016 05:43
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McStabby posted:So...do we actually have rules this week? I just started work this week, so I didn't remember until now. well everything carries forward except calvinball and a few people did remember to change stuff up, so yeah. Unless I'm wrong we currently are using: QB QB RB RB WR WR WR TE FLX FLX Def K K P P
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Oct 28, 2016 03:40
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McStabby posted:So how many vacant teams do we have at this point? A lot... it might have finally come off the rails.
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Nov 5, 2016 05:14
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