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I just watched my dog take a poo poo in the yard. Comes in, her starfish is clean as a whistle. I watch my goats poo poo, same thing. I've never seen a chimpanzee take a poo poo, but I can only assume that they do not wipe their asses nor do they need to. Why do we need to wipe our asses? And don't tell me it's our posture, I slav squat on my toilet sometimes and I still got poo poo in my freshly bleached butthole.
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Oct 27, 2016 19:30
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Stop staring at your pets as they poo poo, it's super creepy and I'm sure it disturbs them as well.
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Oct 27, 2016 19:35
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Dogs lick their assholes clean.
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Oct 27, 2016 19:36
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Also we need big gluteal muscles to support upright posture, and they tend to get skidded in the process of making GBS threads.
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Oct 27, 2016 19:37
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Seriously though flossing is bullshit Why is it I have to jam a piece of string between each and every pair of my teeth every day or they get cavities and my gums swell up? Why is this necessary in a species that has evolved sentience?
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Oct 27, 2016 19:36
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Harakiri Potter posted:I just watched my dog take a poo poo in the yard. Comes in, her starfish is clean as a whistle. I watch my goats poo poo, same thing. I've never seen a chimpanzee take a poo poo, but I can only assume that they do not wipe their asses nor do they need to. 
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Oct 27, 2016 19:37
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But really OP do you like the feel of greasy poo poo stuck between your asscheeks? Do you not mind that everyone can smell your rear end in a top hat within a 10 foot radius? Do you love the smell of wafting poo poo and piss when you take off your underwear? If yes, then stop wiping!
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Oct 27, 2016 19:38
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artificially stocked lake posted:But really OP do you like the feel of greasy poo poo stuck between your asscheeks? Do you not mind that everyone can smell your rear end in a top hat within a 10 foot radius? Do you love the smell of wafting poo poo and piss when you take off your underwear? I feel really weird and dumb defending the OP, but the point of the thread wasn't "I don't want to wipe my butt anymore and am willing to fight for my right to have poo poo all over me all the time", it was "why are humans the only animal that gets a gross poopy butthole if they don't wipe it clean"
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Oct 27, 2016 19:40
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Because of our butt cheeks I'd assume. While it is a pain to have to wipe your rear end do remember that without the miracle of butt cheeks, the greatest music video ever (Anaconda - Niki Minaj) would not exist. Also if you think we have it bad google image search "sheep dags"
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Oct 27, 2016 19:40
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loquacius posted:I feel really weird and dumb defending the OP, but the point of the thread wasn't "I don't want to wipe my butt anymore and am willing to fight for my right to have poo poo all over me all the time", it was "why are humans the only animal that gets a gross poopy butthole if they don't wipe it clean" p sure it's the old "I don't like wi-- wait a minute, I might get made fun of with that wording... *deletes* Why do we have to wipe our asses? I mean animals don't lol why should we"
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Oct 27, 2016 19:44
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Lol that the op still uses paper like a caveman instead of the three seashells.
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Oct 27, 2016 19:44
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I can't believe you've never seen an animal lick its own rear end in a top hat clean. Is that really what you want for yourself?
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Oct 27, 2016 19:45
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It is a combination of posture, butt cheeks and the food we like to eat I've had poos and then when I wiped there was no poo on the paper so it is possible to take clean poos
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Oct 27, 2016 19:45
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artificially stocked lake posted:p sure it's the old "I don't like wi-- wait a minute, I might get made fun of with that wording... *deletes* Why do we have to wipe our asses? I mean animals don't lol why should we" I don't like this style of posting where you try really hard to act mean! We're all good buddies here
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Oct 27, 2016 19:50
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ArtIsResistance posted:I don't like this style of posting where you try really hard to act mean! We're all good buddies here 
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Oct 27, 2016 19:52
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It's the price we pay for bacon cheeseburgers and fried jalapeño poppers friend
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Oct 27, 2016 19:51
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Zzulu posted:It is a combination of posture, butt cheeks and the food we like to eat those poops are among the best parts of life
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Oct 27, 2016 19:52
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it's amusing to me that the op has been given so many kisses by his dog after it ate the poo poo off it own rear end, unknowingly
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Oct 27, 2016 19:51
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Those fuckers from the swiffer thread are probably about to come in here and rave on about wiping with sticks and leaves and gravel god drat
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Oct 27, 2016 19:53
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It's fiber, man. Not enough fiber.
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Oct 27, 2016 19:55
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next time you poop hold your butt cheeks and spread them as far apart as possible while squatting over the toilet seat  DO NOT SIT DOWN
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Oct 27, 2016 20:00
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My poops have been extremely hard and bloody recently, every wipe looks like a horror show.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:04
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loquacius posted:Seriously though flossing is bullshit good thing flossing is a buncha bullshit
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Oct 27, 2016 20:07
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I agree, we should have evolved to be like baboons and have a giant anus that sticks out like six inches.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:07
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a bone to pick posted:My poops have been extremely hard and bloody recently, every wipe looks like a horror show. Thats the problem with a bleedy rear end. The more you wipe, the more mess.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:06
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FedEx Mercury posted:I can't believe you've never seen an animal lick its own rear end in a top hat clean. Is that really what you want for yourself? My cat will joyously spend all day licking its own rear end in a top hat so idk what the gently caress the OP is on about, frankly
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Oct 27, 2016 20:09
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Well, you don't really HAVE to if you don't wanna.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:11
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a bone to pick posted:My poops have been extremely hard and bloody recently, every wipe looks like a horror show. I bet that stings
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Oct 27, 2016 20:15
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We're not the only animal with this problem. Have you ever seen cows poo poo? I used to be a cattle farmer and let me tell you only about 4/5ths of each gigantic poo poo a cow takes ever ends up on the ground behind it.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:15
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I have a problem with your observations of your animal's starfish. How certain are you that it's really clean? Have you run your finger over it to test? Did you perform a taste test? Smh at this unscientific methodology
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Oct 27, 2016 20:15
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Burt Sexual posted:I bet that stings Its been painless believe it or not, I think that means I have intestinal bleeding or something. Prolly gunna die, no biggie.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:18
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a bone to pick posted:Its been painless believe it or not, I think that means I have intestinal bleeding or something. Prolly gunna die, no biggie. Beets.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:19
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So you guys ever have one of those poops where you wipe and you wipe and like after a dozen loving wipes you are still aren't getting anywhere so you just say loving it and and hover your rear end over the bathtub while using the shower head to spray water up your anus? Because that's like at least weekly for me
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Oct 27, 2016 20:20
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a bone to pick posted:Its been painless believe it or not, I think that means I have intestinal bleeding or something. Prolly gunna die, no biggie. ulcer Illavick posted:So you guys ever have one of those poops where you wipe and you wipe and like after a dozen loving wipes you are still aren't getting anywhere so you just say loving it and and hover your rear end over the bathtub while using the shower head to spray water up your anus? bad diet/bidet
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Oct 27, 2016 20:25
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Illavick posted:So you guys ever have one of those poops where you wipe and you wipe and like after a dozen loving wipes you are still aren't getting anywhere so you just say loving it and and hover your rear end over the bathtub while using the shower head to spray water up your anus? You just gotta squeeze harder until some more poop comes out, you gotta squeeze so hard you hear a pop within yourself.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:28
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TheMaskedUgly posted:I have a problem with your observations of your animal's starfish. I'm a mixed class chaotic neutral goat farmer/anus bleacher. I've seen a LOT of buttholes. With the exception of a sick animal who spatter farts poo poo everywhere, I've never had to wipe their buttholes. Before that I was into cattle, and yeah, they take messy shits sometimes but they seem to be ok with it, like, eh no big deal I'm a steer, gently caress you.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:36
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Lay off the dairy if your poops are that hard to clean up after.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:37
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Just let your dog lick your rear end in a top hat clean.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:43
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Harakiri Potter posted:I just watched my dog take a poo poo in the yard. Comes in, her starfish is clean as a whistle. I watch my goats poo poo, same thing. I've never seen a chimpanzee take a poo poo, but I can only assume that they do not wipe their asses nor do they need to. Not every dog takes clean shits. I've got an english setter and sometimes when he shits his rear end needs to be wiped because there's enough fur back there that the exit isn't always clean. I know certain cat breeds have that problem too when they're of the hairier variety. Of course since all these animals are bred I guess it's probably more appropriate to look at wild cats and wolves and see how clean their shits are but I haven't had the opportunity to observe that yet.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:47
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Toadvine posted:Lay off the dairy if your poops are that hard to clean up after. Aw man. Why does all the best stuff have to be bad for me? Dairy, procrastination, pornography, opiates, racial slurs, sedentary lifestyle, the list goes on. Is this life some sort of punishment for a previous one or something? I'm sorry, I'm derailing. We were talking about wiping our asses? edit: i misspelled dairy Illavick fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Oct 27, 2016 |
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Oct 27, 2016 21:00
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