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Today this dude asked me if we had the "big pack" of surface wipes. It went something like this: - The Customer - Me : Do you have these but the "big pack" : uh dunno *staying cool* . I'll have a look out the backI went out the back and located the stock and brough out a whole box of them : Can I buy the whole box : They're half price thats a good idea
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Dec 4, 2016 09:09
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:54 |
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Isaac posted:Today this dude asked me if we had the "big pack" of surface wipes. It went something like this: haha
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Dec 4, 2016 09:11
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Customer - You f**king b**tch!! I will kill you and have you fired get me the manager! Me (in my coolest voice)- Looks like the customer isn't always right  Then everyone stood up and clapped. That customer? Albert Einstein, we've been married 4 years now!
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Dec 4, 2016 09:14
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I went to a KMart
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Dec 4, 2016 09:26
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customer: nigga where your light bulbs at me: the agony of an everpresent, shifting miasma drapes heavily upon my shoulders like a cloak of rotting misery
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Dec 4, 2016 09:30
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Where's the nightmare here OP? Sounds like the guy was nice and you did your job?
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Dec 4, 2016 09:33
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Enfield posted:customer: nigga where your light bulbs at 
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Dec 4, 2016 09:39
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loving millenials
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Dec 4, 2016 09:41
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Customer  : * can't figure out chip reader *ME: HOLY poo poo get a load of this guy Everyone:  Customer:  Me: 
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Dec 4, 2016 09:42
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big box retail store. me working. hear a loud whistle behind me, look over my shoulder. is customer waiting with arms crossed. i have been detected (!) resume working "Ahem!" "Oh, hi. I didn't see you there." The customer's mouth moves but all you hear are ocean waves crashing over themselves and drifting onto white sands. The sun is beating down on your tanned body, but it isn't unpleasant. You have a cold drink in your hand. What is it? You take a sip. There's a tartness masking a great deal of alcohol. It's delicious. You notice a girl face down on a blanket about a hundred feet down the beach. My god has she undone her top? I have to go in that direction for a little peek. The dry sand burns my feet, so I move slightly into the water. If the view of this girl pans out I might want to go waist deep. The customer's mouth has stopped moving. "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know about that."
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Dec 4, 2016 09:42
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one time when I was working at target one of my idiot subordinates put a bunch of unsecured PS4s on an endcap and as I came out of the backroom after taking a steamy and satisfying pisssss, I was alerted by another "guest" that I just missed, by about 10 seconds, the greatest console heist the target had ever known. i went off in the same direction to see if I could non-confrontationally intervene but then as I went around the store an emergency exit alarm went off and I knew they were gone. after reviewing the footage, it seems some guy shoved the whole endcap of PS4s into his cart, quickly went to the empty corner of the store to conceal them in a massive duffel bag, then went down the side wall of the store to an emergency exit, grabbed the bag, went outside and presumably got in a "getaway car" which conveniently we didn't get on cam because some fuckin idiot decided emergency exits don't need exterior cameras I guess??? anyways this person had a fuckin plan and i respect that, but i think i heard they were eventually caught at a different store (tip: target is big on building "profiles" for serial thieves before busting them so they can make sure they'll be stuck with juicier felonies LOL!!!!!!!)
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Dec 4, 2016 09:44
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When I was young man some comic told me of a magical land called Boston where if you went rollerblading down the street in a green thong as a man some borderline retarded American-Irish Cathloic would stride into your path and deck you. I didn't find that in Boston exactly, nor in New York, but in a Whitecastle near the Target in the Rego Center in Queens there works a Hispanic woman who's life's course is to punish her horrible customers, to demand they order according to the way the menu flow goes in her POS system and no other way, to flatly tell people asking for this but with that instead of the other NO and stare at them like they hosed up, because they have I don't like to be in a place where the guy carrying food to my table will have the manager come out and the manager will say to the guy "Well, you have to let Sheep-Goats gently caress you now, bend over, so he can gently caress you" but instead where the guy tells me to eat loving poo poo and the manager, a fat guy destined for IT in a few years, laughs behind the bar.
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Dec 4, 2016 09:45
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Prude posted:some guy shoved the whole endcap of PS4s into his cart, quickly went to the empty corner of the store to conceal them in a massive duffel bag, then went down the side wall of the store to an emergency exit, grabbed the bag, went outside and presumably got in a "getaway car" which conveniently we didn't get on cam because some fuckin idiot decided emergency exits don't need exterior cameras I guess??? The hero we all need
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Dec 4, 2016 09:46
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gary oldmans diary posted:big box retail store. me working. hear a loud whistle behind me, look over my shoulder. is customer waiting with arms crossed. i have been detected (!) ~~the night is the time for good posts~~
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Dec 4, 2016 09:47
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Kirk posted:LCD monitor set to wrong resolution this morning, finger prints all over screen. This company is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The hallways are extended gutters and the gutters are full of support tickets and when they finally get fed up with IT not getting back to them, all of sales and accounting will drown. The accumulated filth with all their confidence and eye contact will foam up about their waists and all the vapid oval office secretaries and self important vendors will look up and shout "Restore my data!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No."
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Dec 4, 2016 09:49
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The following is an honest post, there is no joke in it. Really. The post is: I hope to one day see a big box store employee poo poo in his hands and thrown it forcefully into a customer's face, with very little provocation, but just enough to make a narrative
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Dec 4, 2016 09:50
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Also when people can't self-checkout, and take forever to grab their bags. Bro it said approved you can go ahead and put the bags in the cart, don't gotta have the receipt for that part.
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Dec 4, 2016 09:50
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This happened a few weeks ago now. This methhead looking bloke was carrying a baby and he wanted the very cheap nappies (diapers). I looked around and we didnt have any and it went like this: - Me - methhead holding a baby : BRO YOU GOT ANY OF THE WALKER NAPPIES I SWEAR I JUST GOT BAD LUCK WHEN YOU COME IN YOU GOT NONE : ill have a look out the backI go look out the back and theres none. I ask the boss if I can get him some other ones for the same price cause its the second time that week hes been in for the cheap nappies. - me - the big boss : This blokes been in twice and we havent had the cheap nappies can i just make nanother one the same price : yeah no worriesI go backt o the customer and said : you can get the other brand and we'll make it the same price:stonklol : Thanks mate i appreciate it So i had to go to the customer service desk and say that they needed to mark down the more expensive ones to the cheaper price - me  - Customer Service supervisor : Can you put those through for $11 for this bloke. The boss said its okay : okay
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Dec 4, 2016 10:07
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http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/2016/12/01/truck-crashes-through-wal-mart-doors-pella/94733846/
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Dec 4, 2016 10:09
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gary oldmans diary posted:big box retail store. me working. hear a loud whistle behind me, look over my shoulder. is customer waiting with arms crossed. i have been detected (!)
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Dec 4, 2016 10:17
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Run amok, he suggested,. .
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Dec 4, 2016 10:34
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It's two PM. The small hours. The bad hours. The hours that try men's souls. If you're like me, that's when all your old mistakes, all your doubts gang up on you. Knock you down, work you over, kick you right in your old wounds until they bleed again, fresh as ever, and the answers to the important questions stop making sense. Why go on? Why bother? Sure, I've got it all figured out, the rest of the time. I got my reasons to do what I do. Good reasons. Student loan payments. The cute girl down at the bakery. Employee discount at the deli section, and some of those salads really are damned good. But at 2 PM, deep into my shift but nowhere near its end, none of them ring true. None of those are the real one. I see trouble coming for me from a mile away, but like a deer facing down a pair of high beams, I'm too drat stupid to run. Thirty-five going on fifty. Mother of two point five kids. Sensible, low-maintenance haircut. Danger, capitalized and burning. And in the back of my head, there's that little voice. The voice I try to drown in cheap gin every night. The voice that's gonna get me killed one day, or maybe even worse. It's saying 'this woman needs help', and drat me if I don't listen to it. That's the real reason. I'm too drat stupid to quit. "Hello, ma'am, how can I help you?" I say. My words taste like cigarette ash and cheap gin in my mouth. Most words do. "Uh, yes," she says. Then she smiles, awkward. She catches on that I said how can I, and not just can I. I smile back to let her know it's okay, and it is. You don't work this beat as long as I have without running into that a thousand times over, into that and worse. "Do you still carry rye bread? It's just, I checked over there, and I didn't see any." "Yes ma'am," I say. "It's over on isle two now." "Oh!" she says. "Yes, I thought things looked a little different. Thank you for your help." I watch her go, watch her walk out of my life as fast as she came in. Then I turn down the next isle and walk away, my pricing gun heavy on my hip. The cereal boxes watch me in silence, black, empty cartoon eyes tracking my every move. I close my eyes, and feel the store embrace me.
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Dec 4, 2016 11:20
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Some lady screamed, pulled her hair out, and started punching herself on the head because I told her I couldn't sell a certain yardstick by page. I ended up just giving her the whole package because her life was clearly in shambles. I remember being frozen unsure how to react because 1) I was legit scared of her vaulting over the counter and attacking me and 2) its really surreal seeing a normal looking adult have a legit mental episode in front of you and teenage me had trouble knowing if what I was seeing was actually happening.
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Dec 4, 2016 11:27
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if you work in retail you couldnt get a job else where so you're a dumb loving stupid oval office and should be an SA mod
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Dec 4, 2016 11:31
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customers suck
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Dec 4, 2016 11:37
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"im never coming here again" lol oh dear me what a loss
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Dec 4, 2016 11:39
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"im gonna write a bad review on yelp" lmao
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Dec 4, 2016 11:41
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i know op was being ironic, this is just a topic dear to my heart so im unavle to joke irony about it
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Dec 4, 2016 11:43
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i think the goon demographic is IT/retail/disability
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Dec 4, 2016 11:48
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"i see you don't take any pride in your work" brilliant deduction sherlock lol
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Dec 4, 2016 11:49
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Despressive 15 y/o bagboy drops my groceries on the vinyl I start kicking the bag He kicks it too I get him a flask of Popov after he gets fired and wish him luck
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Dec 4, 2016 11:52
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you have no idea shetgot, you live on a far an get sherrd andb eat tin cans ands isaac fucks you
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Dec 4, 2016 12:14
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CORONA posted:you have no idea shetgot, you live on a far an get sherrd andb eat tin cans ands isaac fucks you AGREEEE
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Dec 4, 2016 12:36
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*Howling in the aisle :isaac: Ay mate *Howls instead into opened box of Triscuits Isaac handed him :isaac: *Touches nose
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Dec 4, 2016 12:39
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calling in from the jade helm walmart fema concentration camp. send food
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Dec 4, 2016 14:10
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 (customer): Solid 9 walks into my 7/11 during the night shift, slightly tipsy and asks for some grape blunt wraps and winks at me.  (me): Can I finish my goddamn chili dog first! *farts angrily*: Here's my number, text me when you're off.
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Dec 4, 2016 15:18
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I was a barista for a year in college, and a lady ordered some blended coffee drink. After she ordered, she motioned me over to the side of the counter and asked me to make sure my black coworker didn't make it.
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Dec 4, 2016 15:22
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mucocele posted:I was a barista for a year in college, and a lady ordered some blended coffee drink. After she ordered, she motioned me over to the side of the counter and asked me to make sure my black coworker didn't make it. Did your coworker make it?
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Dec 4, 2016 15:28
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Did your coworker make it? I did, because she was watching us the whole time, and if my friend started to make it, I didn't want there to be a scene 
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Dec 4, 2016 15:35
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:54 |
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A guy asked me if he could have salt on his fries, so I punched his autistic son in the mouth. loving customers.
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Dec 4, 2016 16:02
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