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You went out to that trail in Oregon your surfer friend Danny always told you about, so after having to put up with so much of your girlfriend's bullshit you decide to take a hike. It's been 2 days since you were out here being a hipster explorer slash adventurer, nothing amusing or spiritual happens as your lovely life is still on your mind. One night while camping at night by a groove you feel an itch in your balls, you need to pee.  You suddenly spot a glowing debris in the distance, you zip up your pants as some pee drip on your shoes. You don't seem to mind. You follow a narrow path that takes you to what appears to be a crashed UFO. You are more intrigued than shocked.  What to do next? Red is your rear end in a top hat mind deciding, green is your girlfriend's voice. This is always the case, however you don't have to follow either and instead come up with something of your own. I pick what I think is best. Also someone give this afro'd rear end in a top hat a name.
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Apr 26, 2017 23:20
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:21 |
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I piss om the ufo
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Apr 26, 2017 23:22
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> call up surfer friend Danny and have rear end sex with him
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Apr 26, 2017 23:23
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Infect the UFO with a computer virus using your Linux netbook.
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Apr 26, 2017 23:22
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Mark the UFO as yours by jerking off on it.
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Apr 26, 2017 23:23
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I gently caress IT gently caress THAT UFO
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Apr 26, 2017 23:23
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OXBALLS DOT COM posted:I piss om the ufo
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Apr 26, 2017 23:27
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> Take meds, stop hallucinating UFO's.
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Apr 26, 2017 23:28
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Apr 26, 2017 23:29
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piss on the ufo, definitely. why are you even asking this
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Apr 26, 2017 23:31
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Johnny Aztec posted:I gently caress IT
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Apr 26, 2017 23:30
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call the fbi
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Apr 26, 2017 23:31
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As much as you are intrigued about finding a crashed UFO, you still feel an itching feeling down your urethra, it is like you gotta get something out of your system. Without thinking you pull out your dick and continue what you been doing earlier.  You aim for the UFO's door thingy but you miss cause it is cold as gently caress, and you start to realize just how much you hate Oregon, and your life. Suddenly you hear twigs breaking behind you, and the most frightening figure stands before you. You turned with your dick in your hand, dripping yellow piss.  It is a loving Alien!
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Apr 26, 2017 23:40
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mentally flood your flaccid peeing penis with blood so you get a boner and gently caress one of the aliens holes
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Apr 26, 2017 23:41
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tell him pissing is the traditional greeting and make him feel bad for his cultural insensitivity
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Apr 26, 2017 23:43
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start jackin it and then grab the aliens dick and start jackin that too
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Apr 26, 2017 23:43
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"this is a symbol of respect in my country" e: beaten, somehow
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Apr 26, 2017 23:45
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I turn and piss on the ufo
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Apr 26, 2017 23:48
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Dump girlfriend on the spot and inform the alien that you're available and that pissing isn't the only thing you can do with your long fleshy tube.
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Apr 26, 2017 23:52
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You are nervous, you hear many voices in your head. You should probably call your girlfriend and tell her you love her, maybe redeem yourself before dying. You tell the Alien figure that peeing is a form of greeting on Earth.  He believes you. Now he invites you to his ship, he wants to show you what broke and caused it to crash on earth. You seem sceptical, you thank the lord the Alien's piss is more goo than acid. You walk with the Alien to his ship, while inside you notice interesting objects hanged by a wall, you take a look while the Alien mumbles about the weather and lack of Nitrogen in the Air.  Holy gently caress you scream inside your head, it is a decapitated pig's head, maybe. You feel a chill of air creeping up through your buttcrack, and down your spine. The Alien notices you and stops to watch your next move while lighting a Cigar.
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Apr 27, 2017 00:03
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Take a moment to consider the philosophical and theological implications of the situation you're in. If there are aliens then the religion you believe is a lie. If there's no God then there's no morality. No reason or point to anything. Bid the alien a good day and leave the ship. Walk back to civilisation and just start killing, raping and stealing. Freed from the shackles of human morality and the concept of consequences you'd gladly sell your life for just one more thrill and consider it a good trade. You take you want and you want what you take.
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Apr 27, 2017 00:11
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Make the alien a bacon cheese burger as a show of good faith.
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Apr 27, 2017 00:14
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>gently caress the alien without a condom
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Apr 27, 2017 00:16
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facebook live
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Apr 27, 2017 00:16
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gently caress the alien already!
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Apr 27, 2017 00:18
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determine fuckability of alien lifeforms
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May 30, 2017 11:37
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eat out whatever it is the alien uses for an rear end in a top hat
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May 30, 2017 11:48
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>Tell the alien it has a beautiful butthole and wink slyly. Then grab his cigar and put it out on your skin and then give a blowjob to his cigar while winking slyly
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May 30, 2017 11:54
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Push all reservations aside and focus on the task at hand. The alien needs help with some broken poo poo, and you just barely passed shop class at the technical prep school. Look at the widget or whatever he's about to pull out and take a look see, and try to ignore the burning desire to poke the pig head in the eyes. Also, ask for a drag of his stogie because it helps you focus.
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May 30, 2017 12:10
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Also, the afro'd rear end in a top hat is Winston. His mom thought it was funny because he was a Coke baby and she didn't plan on him making it. Jokes on her.
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May 30, 2017 12:11
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> cast enlarge satan
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May 30, 2017 12:11
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Who What Now posted:gently caress the alien already!
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May 30, 2017 12:14
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Guys you cant just go "gently caress the alien" you have to court it first The loving is the endgame, we have a journey to take first
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May 30, 2017 12:18
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> Call Halo
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May 30, 2017 13:06
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> go west
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May 30, 2017 13:16
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> have sex with the pig's head a-la David Cameron
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May 30, 2017 14:09
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> Summon Pikachu for aid
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May 30, 2017 14:11
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Take the alien out to dinner and perhaps a screening of Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Then gently caress the alien.
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May 30, 2017 14:17
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>rummage
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May 30, 2017 17:46
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:21 |
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>Convince alien to procreate with pig head, he is the only one of his kind after all, and his species must repopulate
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