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*furiously polishing roast chicken with a shamwow* Ok kids, get to the table, dinner will be ready in a minute! |
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Jul 19, 2017 15:30
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:14 |
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a detailing vac is a must-have tool for every aspiring cook, allowing you to reach the nooks and crannies of hard-to-clean foods like english muffins |
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Jul 19, 2017 15:34
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Even our son can practice clean eating now that we've attached his bottle to the center of a mop head
Putty fucked around with this message at 16:02 on Jul 19, 2017 |
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Jul 19, 2017 15:44
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personally, I like natural cleaning supplies in my kitchen...a little salt and vinegar, maybe a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, do wonders to make a salad sparkle
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Jul 19, 2017 15:44
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pine sol started appearing in a lot more dishes once they targeted the younger crowd by releasing the avocado scent |
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Jul 19, 2017 15:46
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I love how they call them "tv dinners" when everyone knows you gotta run them through the dishwasher first!
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 19, 2017 16:02
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| It is standard in our household to meticulously clean and bleach every chicken bone to add to our shrine of N'yabbanoth, the cleanliness idol! | |
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Jul 19, 2017 16:16
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find a farmer who uses a roomba in their field and half the prep work is done for you
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Jul 19, 2017 16:20
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Deleted text from Better Crocker's original recipe book: Use Q-tips to clean your ears of corn after you shuck them The word "shuck" was considered too dirty for the time. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 19, 2017 16:31
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*thinks about the goddam bun car* *seethes silently* 
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Jul 19, 2017 17:04
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| How can I perform a herbal cleanse if the herbs are not clean themselves??? | |
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Jul 19, 2017 17:14
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In all seriousness... My wife's aunt is not the brightest person. For Thanksgiving a few years back, she cooked the turkey. It tasted awful. She said she followed the instructions exactly. We found out that when it said "wash the turkey" (you're just supposed to rinse), she actually washed it with Dawn dish soap.
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Jul 19, 2017 17:52
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I like to run my grilled cheese sandwiches through the washing machines. The trick is to put them into a lingerie bag so they don't fall apart.
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Jul 19, 2017 17:53
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Before you soak your beans, carefully remove the stones, so you can use them to make soup. Then put beans into your stone soup! |
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Jul 19, 2017 19:45
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the bathtub spaghetti scene in Gummo |
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Jul 19, 2017 21:44
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getting reported to HR for eating my lunch in the mop closet |
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Jul 21, 2017 18:29
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We find ourselves in a surgically clean operating room, a staff of nurses surround the doctor- all are fully dressed in sterile scrubs. The doctor is sweating profusely, a nurse pats his face with a clean, dry cloth "Ok, I'm ready" the doctor says. A 2-foot wide round silver tray with a dome shaped cover is revealed when a sterile green sheet is removed. When the domed lid is taken off, a freshly prepared grilled cheese sandwich is there for all to see. "Lunch time! The doctor announced in a voice muffled by his mask. Everyone else plunked down their germ free lunch containers onto the operating table, fresh out of the autoclave https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 21, 2017 18:44
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a really crowd-pleasing dish: 4 tbsp. chile powder 1 tbsp. garlic powder 1 tsp. pepper 1/2 tsp. salt 1 large sprig dill, broken 1 gallon kirkland brand dishwashing detergent (NOT dishwasher, V IMPORTANT) 1 whole salmon, head, tails and fin removed, skin on, gutted blend all dry ingredients gently, then season salmon inside and out, and place dill inside. place in instant pot on saute for 2 minutes each side, just to firm up fish and provide a fond. add entire gallon of kirkland brand dishwashing detergent, switch to low pressure (make sure your steam release is closed!!!!!), and set timer for 3 hours. walk away, and in 3 hours, you get a delicious, crowd pleasing, HEALTHY and MOST IMPORTANTLY--VERY CLEAN--dish for your family.
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Jul 21, 2017 21:27
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I only eat my food intravenously
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Jul 21, 2017 21:41
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*carefully dusting the powder sugar off the donut w/ a feather duster for 2 hours before eating*
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Jul 21, 2017 21:56
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If you think about it all of the food from Hook the motion picture was germ free bc it was imaginary |
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Jul 21, 2017 22:14
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very disappointed with Costcos polish sausage.
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Jul 21, 2017 22:23
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bacalou posted:If you think about it all of the food from Hook the motion picture was germ free bc it was imaginary Lost Boy: You're doing it, Peter! Peter Pan: Using my imagination to eat pretend food? Lost Boy: no, living the clean eating life! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 21, 2017 22:39
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City of Glompton posted:very disappointed with Costcos polish sausage. idk what you were expecting, sausage is a dirty food. a dirty... disgusting... FILTHY food...
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Jul 21, 2017 22:40
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I was excited when Lays accepted my submission for Clorox Lemon Wipes chips, but when they insisted on using artificial flavor...I told them they might as well stop pretending they understand clean eating and do a Febreze flavor chip instead.
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Jul 21, 2017 22:46
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my hated nemesis has begun scattering the candylike laundry pods in my known haunts. they realize i am nearly powerless against detergent which looks far too much like candy. please, if anyone has a tip, help me. |
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Jul 21, 2017 22:52
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City of Glompton posted:very disappointed with Costcos polish sausage.
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Jul 21, 2017 23:37
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City of Glompton posted:very disappointed with Costcos polish sausage. hahaha |
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Jul 21, 2017 23:42
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DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:*carefully dusting the powder sugar off the donut w/ a feather duster for 2 hours before eating* haha |
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Jul 22, 2017 00:14
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the management now looked on in aghast horror, fully realizing now that the extra wet wipes I had asked for to go with my wings were not for the end of the meal, but rather the beginning
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Jul 22, 2017 00:22
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| At our farm the culling area is directly attached to a confessional booth | |
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Jul 22, 2017 03:32
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no thanks, I prefer my food dirty, if you know what I mean  covered in dirt like woah |
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Jul 22, 2017 06:10
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Jedrick posted:no thanks, I prefer my food dirty, if you know what I mean yeah I like potatoes. |
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Jul 22, 2017 06:20
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Olive Garden tonight! posted:yeah I like potatoes. Yeah but check this out... hydroponic potatoes think about it https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 22, 2017 12:05
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Splatmaster posted:hypoallergenic potatoes |
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Jul 22, 2017 12:07
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*pours an entire bottle of lemon meringue pie foaming hand soap down my throat* |
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Jul 22, 2017 14:05
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*Stumbles in and throws a bunch of late night drunk fast food into the dish washer and starts it* "I know what I am doing!"
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Jul 22, 2017 14:56
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Oh, like YOU never used a floor buffer on your apples before you eat them
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 22, 2017 16:19
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There's no irony at all in using lemon scented Pledge on my lemons and polishing them up so I can see myself in them before I make lemonade Mouthwash+Pop Rocks=fun oral hygiene https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 22, 2017 16:22
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:14 |
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Be sure to triple filter any beverage before consumption You can never be too careful, harmful bacteria can hide everywhere Post-filter boiling optional, to taste ---------------- |
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Jul 22, 2017 22:52
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