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When you're cooking a nice burger at home, should you smash it down or leave it be while cooking? Some people argue that smashing it lets out all the juice, while other people actually like a slightly drier burger and want to squeeze out some of the grease out of the cheap burgs they bought. Does it matter what cooking vessels you're using? Like is it okay to smash a burger on the grill or is it only okay to smash it in a pan? These are important questions. I for one don't smash it, I want that burg to be juicy as gently caress. And to the point that when you bite into it, molten juice burns your lips and chin.
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Jul 20, 2017 06:41
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 09:42 |
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Well since I only cook burgs on the foreman, SMASH IT.
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Jul 20, 2017 06:45
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That Wendy's training rap video from the 80s taught me about the four corner press and how you gotta salt the meat to make the taste complete so I'm going with smash
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Jul 20, 2017 06:53
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You just squeeze it until you get enough fat oozing out to get a nice moist coat, flip and repeat a few times, then you get that nice crusty outside from the charred fat. 
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Jul 20, 2017 07:08
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lol if u smash anything other than the OPs drat mom (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jul 20, 2017 07:09
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yeah in a cheap $1 plastic burger press that gives a perfect patty in like 1 second. that was the buy of the century
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Jul 20, 2017 07:29
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gary oldmans diary posted:yeah in a cheap $1 plastic burger press that gives a perfect patty in like 1 second. that was the buy of the century I'm sorry this thread isn't about a burger press it's about smashing a burger.
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Jul 20, 2017 08:02
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The only thing I smash is my balls anytime I sit down. 
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Jul 20, 2017 08:41
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I'm from this weird place where I only flip the burger once. I see these dads with their aprons on, sipping a beer and flipping the loving burgers over and over like they're not going to cook properly at the BBQ where their precious little daughter is about to announce she's a whore living in sin with the guy who works for some company that checks dirty old mineshafts on BLM land for contamination. And she's gonna get married (she's knocked up again) Maybe his daughter wouldn't be such a slut working on her third marriage if he'd stop flipping the burgers all nervous like and poo poo. Look at that fat human being's eyes twitch from side to side, wondering which one of the guys in swim trunks has been banging his little bundle of joy. gently caress, if you stand there all cookout and flip a loving hamburger patty you might as well put a name tag on, loser, and go inside and look in the mirror. Pull up your shirt so you can see your anguish. So no, I don't really smash the burger.
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Jul 20, 2017 08:44
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Just microwave the burger until its all gray. No thinking or smashing required.
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Jul 20, 2017 08:45
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gary oldmans diary posted:yeah in a cheap $1 plastic burger press that gives a perfect patty in like 1 second. that was the buy of the century Hell yeah this guy knows whats up, I loving love my burger press.
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Jul 20, 2017 08:45
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Holy poo poo I didn't know a burger press was a thing and now I fuckin need one.
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Jul 20, 2017 09:11
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smashed burgs should be thin and have a nice crispy crust, stack two with cheese mm
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Jul 20, 2017 11:32
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Burger presses are haram. You gotta hand shape that burg. And no, do not smash the burger.
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Jul 20, 2017 11:35
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cum on your burgers for extra flavour
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Jul 20, 2017 11:37
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lol just lol if you don't have staff who cook your burgers for you loving peasants
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Jul 20, 2017 11:38
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The term is press you retard. And no don't loving do it. Get away from the grill and go play with Legos or something.
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Jul 20, 2017 11:42
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don't smash your burgs idiot
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Jul 20, 2017 12:02
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Harakiri Potter posted:I'm from this weird place where I only flip the burger once. I see these dads with their aprons on, sipping a beer and flipping the loving burgers over and over like they're not going to cook properly at the BBQ where their precious little daughter is about to announce she's a whore living in sin with the guy who works for some company that checks dirty old mineshafts on BLM land for contamination. And she's gonna get married (she's knocked up again) Smashist post. MODS!!!
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Jul 20, 2017 12:09
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Don't smash the burg, you're smashin' out the flavor!
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Jul 20, 2017 12:15
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Harakiri Potter posted:I'm from this weird place where I only flip the burger once. I see these dads with their aprons on, sipping a beer and flipping the loving burgers over and over like they're not going to cook properly at the BBQ where their precious little daughter is about to announce she's a whore living in sin with the guy who works for some company that checks dirty old mineshafts on BLM land for contamination. And she's gonna get married (she's knocked up again) this is my understanding as well but i flip them a million times because everyone that i cook for only eats meat super well done like a monster
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Jul 20, 2017 12:33
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no
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Jul 20, 2017 12:36
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You can press it just a little and it's OK, but any more talk of "smashing" and I'll have to report you. Also, I used to have nervous meat flipping syndrome, but I found this great new medication called not giving a gently caress.
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Jul 20, 2017 12:41
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Son of Rodney posted:Hell yeah this guy knows whats up, I loving love my burger press. use a burger press if you want your burgers to taste dry and lifeless
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Jul 20, 2017 12:55
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:When you're cooking a nice burger at home, should you smash it down or leave it be while cooking? Some people argue that smashing it lets out all the juice, while other people actually like a slightly drier burger and want to squeeze out some of the grease out of the cheap burgs they bought. The cheap ones are the ones with flavor. The leaner they are the less flavor. You press to sear the juices in, for christs sake.
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Jul 20, 2017 13:29
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Fog Tripper posted:The cheap ones are the ones with flavor. The leaner they are the less flavor. bad at posting and bad at burgers holy moly
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Jul 20, 2017 13:55
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how am I supposed to smash the burg when I'm cooking it in the microwave???
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Jul 20, 2017 14:05
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Sound posted:how am I supposed to smash the burg when I'm cooking it in the microwave??? Put a brick on it before closing the door
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Jul 20, 2017 14:08
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LOL if you press your burgers. Why yes I would like one slab of dry, tasteless meat.
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Jul 20, 2017 14:41
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bradzilla posted:LOL if you press your burgers. Why yes I would like one slab of dry, tasteless meat. 
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Jul 20, 2017 14:43
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When I was working at a burger place you'd basically take a big hunk of meat and put it on the grill and then push it down into patty form, after which you'd flip it some more. You didn't press it a lot, but you applied the pressure to it on the grill. But you'd have to do this, 'cause the initial meat was too thick and not properly shaped, so this is how you'd make it into an actual burg.
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Jul 20, 2017 15:03
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Don't smash it if it's in a pug's mouth.
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Jul 20, 2017 16:12
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Fog Tripper posted:You press to sear the juices in, for christs sake. Holy poo poo you really are retarded.
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Jul 20, 2017 16:16
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Don't smash the patty when it's cooking, but be sure so get it pressed pretty thin before you put it on the grill
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Jul 20, 2017 16:19
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If you're griddling a burger then sure, smash away, but if it's on a grill where all of the juices will drip down below the grill then don't smash you dummy!
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Jul 20, 2017 16:24
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Smash it down or don't. All I know is that when I'm burgin' I burg so hard I'm lucky if I can muster the self restraint to just slam down 2 pounds of raw hamburger meat with enough precision to get at least half of it down my gullet and not just all over my face and in my own hair.
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Jul 20, 2017 16:25
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Never smash those juices out boy you'll be left with a dry, hard, sad burg if you want a flatter burger then make a flatter burger while the meat is raw
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Jul 20, 2017 16:26
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bradzilla posted:LOL if you press your burgers. Why yes I would like one slab of dry, tasteless meat.
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Jul 20, 2017 16:27
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Fog Tripper posted:The cheap ones are the ones with flavor. The leaner they are the less flavor. missed this post the first time around and you're retarded as gently caress
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Jul 20, 2017 16:28
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 09:42 |
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Don't overthink your hamburgers. Just leave it alone and let it grill.
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Jul 20, 2017 16:28
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