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Climb down Put our drat sweater on while we dry our shirt Use the foil to reflect the fire heat and warm up a bit Do our best to survive until dawn Get some water and purify it There Bias Two fucked around with this message at 09:47 on Jul 25, 2017 |
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Jul 25, 2017 09:44
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 22:17 |
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Get the fire bigger and hotter else we'll never make the dawn.
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Jul 25, 2017 11:53
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Why is there no forest fire yet? I used all my coke now I'm bored. Eat a dick, nature. #COCAINE! #pavetheforest
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Jul 25, 2017 14:00
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So current plan is to 1. Climb down the free 2. Get our sweater back on 3. Get some pond water and purify it for drinking 4. Warm up next to the fire, use foil 5. Try and build some shelter, and fire 6. Eat, sleep, rest till dawn Confirm/Deny?
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Jul 26, 2017 01:33
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Arkanomen posted:So current plan is to Aye
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Jul 26, 2017 01:42
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Take off the soaked shirt first and dry it out with the fire.
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Jul 26, 2017 01:46
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If anything isn't on fire yet, it will be soon.
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Jul 26, 2017 05:35
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You have to get down. The wind isn't strong but its cutting deep with your sweat slicked skin. Fingers are pretty much just fancy pale sausages at this point and your arms hang like lead. If only you could just saunter up to the fire and defrost but you have a tree to climb down and the powder confidence has left your nose. With shaking limbs and chattering teeth you carefully and slowly make your way down. Climbing DC 45 vs Tad 51- Pass, -30 min You make it down by going slowly, branch by branch, the bark and needles poking your skin the whole way down. It doesn't hurt too bad but then again your skin is numb. It doesn't really make a difference until you get down to the last branch. A soft pile of needles and sweet sweet heat awaits below. Just one more hop. *RIIIIIIIIIIP*  On your last hop down a stray branch catches in the seat of your pants and tears the back of your pants wide open. Thank god it missed your pure Mongolian silk boxers, saving your dignity. The air flows up your backside but in moments you are down and shivering by the fire. The soaked undershit is off after wiping off the sweat and you rig it do some twigs your grabbed on the way down to let the heat dry it out. You don your sweater and drink in the heat. The smell of the almost done meat would make your mouth water if you weren't dying of thirst. The fire seems to be okay for now and you dig out the ziplock bags and the water purification tablets. Looks like the genius who sold this pack to the pilot bought a 100 count pack of these tabs and then only put two in the kit for resale. loving smart, except wow it kinda sucks to be on the other end of greed. Its okay, you win some you lose some, just make sure you hedge your bets. No idea what that means in the wild but you gotta get something to drink. You take the tabs and the two ziplock bags. It says that one tab should treat two bags worth. You could drop one tab and then mix the bags together.  The edge of the pond is a little spooky at night, and the cold continues to nip at your backside. At least you warmed up enough to work your hands again. The first tab is popped out... Purifying water DC 25 vs Tad 22- failure, - 2 tablets, +1 Qt Water and falls right into the pond with a sad little plunk. You sigh, take out the second tab, break it in half and place it in the baggie over the shore first before carefully dipping the bag in the water. You fill it half way, then the other bag half way, years of mixology helping you out. You manage to keep the pond gunk out of the bags, mostly. There's a little bit of funk in the two bags but it quickly turns dark as the tablet does it's work. You down the quart of water like its nectar of the gods. Your throat instantly revives and you barely choke on a long string of pond scum before you pull it out. You repeat the process with the second quart and other tablet and walk back to the camp fire and take the quart of water back to camp. VICTORY! Firewood DC25 vs Tad 54- success +1 night of firewood - 30 min  The meat is done and you are starving. The fire is dying a little low and you figure a few logs will chase the chill away for the rest of the night. It's getting very dark anyway. You hunt around by the light of the fire and manage to find some more hefty, dry sticks. A little elbow grease snaps the sticks into timber and these are added to the fire. It grows heftier and crackles with heat You remove the ribs and set up the foil like the booklet says to reflect heat. Your little spot under the tree gets comfortably warm. The only tool you have with you is the scalpel to cut up the deer. Cutting the meat DC25 vs Tad 06- failure -1 scalpel blade +1 crude bone knife, + 25lbs of cooked venison meat The scalpel gets caught in some bone and snaps at the first tug. Frustrated you curse at how bullshit the people who made this pack ought to be sued into the ground. Day trip kit my rear end. You take a note of the manufacturer for later business when you get back to civilization. Anger and rage jump past the fuzzy wall of the come-down and cold and you lash out at the cooked deer carcass. A firm kick down on the leg gets you a sickening crack, exposing a wickedly sharp fragment of femur. Another couple hits with a rock frees the shard and you have yourself a pretty neat bone knife! It's kind of hard to hold but you can use it to cut the ribs up crudely and hands tear the rest. You can't do anything with the legs or harder to cut bits but you get a fair deal of meat and you feast. (- 2.5lbs of Meat)  The voices, man you must have been hit harder than you thought, but they scream to burn this whole forest to the ground. And you will, this whole forest is gonna be your bitch. You'll burn it to the ground, then you'll strip mine it, replant it and then burn it all over again so you can make a wonderful film to play on international tv for Earth Day. But right now, you're just gonna...lay down...right here where its warm...and comfy...just a little End of Day 1 The rising sun wakes you. Your watch says it's 6AM. What do you do Today Tad? Tad Westbrook You are lightly bruised and rested You are feeling okay but a little stressed Your clothing is slightly signed but lightly damaged You feeling a little cold. You are not hungry and a little thirsty Your stomach is rumbling You need to use the bathroom Your addictions are satisfied -Cocaine -light -Alcohol -moderate Campfire - cooling coals - Circle of Stones - 0 Hours of Firewood -1/2 human skeleton --22.5 Lbs Grilled Venison (exposed) You are currently wearing- Cotton Crew Tee - okay Lamb Wool Sweater - singed Khaki Wool Socks - okay Leather Loafers - singed Expensive Waterproof Rolex Possessions Large Carry-on backpack Travel Case - 60% full -$15,000 in $20 dollar bills. -7g of Cocaine -50 count of Norco (opiate + generic pain killer) -2 lighters (1.20 full) -Retreat welcome pamphlet -Legal pad -Battery Pack (3/4 bars) -Cellphone (40% charged, off) -Flask of Everclear (5 oz) -Crude Map -Fancy corkscrew/bottle opener -30 mushrooms 1 Qt Purified Pond water Crude Bone Knife -Guide for the following items -1 Heavy Duty, Waterproof, Vinyl Pouch, (3.25"x5") -1 Spark-Lite™ Military fire starter (100%) -2 Tinder-Quik™ waterproof tinder, easily lit with the Spark-Lite™ and burns 2-3 minutes each -1 Rescue-Flash™ signal mirror, made of durable LEXAN® polycarbonate with mil-spec aiming aid for easy one-handed use, visible for over 20 miles -1 Rescue Howler™ Emergency signal whistle (110 decibel pea-less whistle) -1 20mm compass, slightly calibrated -1 Duct Tape 2"x26", repairs, first aid, and countless other uses -1 Stainless Steel Utility Wire (6 ft) -1 Fresnel Magnifier for reading small print (especially if glasses are lost) and emergency fire starting -50 ft. Heavy Duty Nylon Thread -1 Heavy Duty Sewing Needle with large eye -4 Fish Hooks -2 Sinkers -1 Snap Swivel -3 sq. ft. of Heavy Duty Foil, reflecting heat from a fire or improvising a cooking container -10 ft. Heavy Duty Nylon Cord (150 lb test), shelter building and many other uses -4 Safety Pins -1 Pencil -2 Waterproof Paper Arkanomen fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Jul 26, 2017 |
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Jul 26, 2017 06:02
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Hit the can. Use paper as paper.
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Jul 26, 2017 06:57
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Outrail posted:Hit the can. Use paper as paper. DONDE LOS BANOS ESE!? I gotta go...soon.
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Jul 26, 2017 06:58
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Use a bit of duct tape to fix the tear in our pants. Do our business by a tree somewhere. Take a sip of water. Grab more sticks and kindling to rebuild our fire later. Reflect on the fact that we're a total badass for surviving a plane crash and then a whole night in the Canadian wilderness. Women will love the edited version of our story. Did we ever check the aircraft for any kind of emergency distress beacon? Have we ever been fishing before? There Bias Two fucked around with this message at 12:47 on Jul 26, 2017 |
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Jul 26, 2017 12:36
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There Bias Two posted:Use a bit of duct tape to fix the tear in our pants. You have been fishing many times and have decent enough idea. Hook and bait, drink, drink some more, wait, drink, then when the line dips you call the guy over and he reels it in most of the way and then you grab the pole and do the rest. Simple. You don't know what the aircraft had. It was kinda old and had a skeleton inside it when it crashed. You think the pilot ran away on impact. Yup. That's right. No idea what's inside now but it's cool enough to approach.
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Jul 26, 2017 16:45
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Arkanomen posted:You have been fishing many times and have decent enough idea. Hook and bait, drink, drink some more, wait, drink, then when the line dips you call the guy over and he reels it in most of the way and then you grab the pole and do the rest. Simple. Adding explore the wreckage to my to-do list
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Jul 26, 2017 16:48
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I bet the plane had a fair number of metal panels and such we could repurpose into shelter more easily than trying to derive thatch from first principles or whatever. Definitely try to work out fishing. We can use bits of deer gristle or something as bait. Do we have any idea whether the pilot filed a flight plan?
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Jul 27, 2017 01:07
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Ralith posted:I bet the plane had a fair number of metal panels and such we could repurpose into shelter more easily than trying to derive thatch from first principles or whatever. No, the pilot was some dude of a friend of a friend of a cousin of an acquaintance who knew a guy up the road who had an airplane that he took out once in a while to go hunting in the wild. No-one really knows you're out here or is expecting you for some time. Shortcuts never pay off.
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Jul 27, 2017 02:07
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Arkanomen posted:No, the pilot was some dude of a friend of a friend of a cousin of an acquaintance who knew a guy up the road who had an airplane that he took out once in a while to go hunting in the wild. No-one really knows you're out here or is expecting you for some time. Shortcuts never pay off.
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Jul 27, 2017 06:34
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There Bias Two posted:Adding explore the wreckage to my to-do list This. Also, with regards to doing my business, I'm no longer suffering coke-dick (not that I have to worry about that, #HungLyfe), I should find suitable wiping material (money? It's only Jackson, what did he ever do anyway?), lean against a tree, drop trou around my ankles so I don't mess up these khakis, and pinch that grumpy off. Then, onto finding breakfast.
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Jul 28, 2017 10:01
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I miss our coke-fueled forest adventure!
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Aug 1, 2017 02:13
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Me too. Ark, come back 
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Aug 1, 2017 02:21
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I was sent upstate for work and my house got fumigated, but back to normal updates tonight.
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Aug 1, 2017 02:23
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Arkanomen posted:I was sent upstate for work and my house got fumigated, but back to normal updates tonight. Fumigating your house, eh? Is this some type of method acting for CYOA design that I'm not familiar with?
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Aug 1, 2017 02:37
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You wake up feeling like, well at least 15 grand. You've never been this poor in your life. gently caress this sucks and your gut agrees. Pants seat sagging low you grab a wad of cash and run behind a tree not too far from the campfire. You drop what's left of your pants and complete your first survival bodily function. Number 2 DC15 vs Tad 26-Pass, -1000$, -30 min  All goes well, though it was kinda rough. Money is good for many things and you've claimed to have done this before, but money isn't all the great for wiping your rear end with. Knowledge. Your business done, you move onto capital improvements. You could sew your pants up but the duct tap should work just as well, right? Repair DC30 vs Tad 46 - Pass, - 4 feet Ducttape .25 qt water, pants repaired, -30 min You manage to not waste all the tape and get your pants back into some semblance of a covering and take a good sip of water to cure your parched throat. You take some time then in the morning chill to go and gather some firewood. The sun is out and it looks like today will be a warm day. Loose Firewood, DC 20 vs Tad 24, Pass, -30 min, + 2 hours of wood You manage to find a load of sticks and loose bark and it's mostly dry. You lay it out near the smoldering coals and let the sun and heat bake away the morning damp. Why the gently caress does nature always have to be wet. You think about a throne and how nice it would be to sit in your favorite chair. Seal leather and duckling down filling. You had it commissioned on a whim and your assistant actually came through. Shame about getting caught at customs with your blow. Hell be out in a few and has a hefty 6 million waiting, if the market holds. The airplane may have some poo poo left over. You grab a large tree limb and head over to root around. Airplane Looting-88, -2 hours The morning brings another Tad victory. The skeleton of the jet is relatively unburned, once again proving that jet fuel can't melt steel beams. Or aluminum in this case. Actually it's melted to loving hell in places, but a good deal is left over. You also find some left over stuff from the survival kits and seats.  Axe head- missing handle Survival Chainsaw 40,x24" aluminum foil 4 carabiners 4 inch knife blade,serrated - missing handle 10 4"x 12" lengths of aluminum 5 2' x4'x 1/8" sheets aluminum 25lbs of copper slag Steel odd n ends, 5lbs Other half of the pilot You have everything piled up next to the aircraft, and impressive haul of raw commodities. In this wonderland woods of bullshit, you are king. Are you? Your moment of glory is cut short by deep, snuffling bellow from the direction of your campfire. Something low and black is shuffling around by the edge of the woods.  Oh gently caress, it's a bear. 8AM, Day 2 THE BEAR MARKET RISES WITH THE SUN! WHAT DO YOU DO? Tad Westbrook You are lightly bruised and rested You are feeling okay but a little stressed Your clothing is slightly signed You feeling warm You are not hungry and not thirsty Your stomach is unsettled Your addictions are satisfied -Cocaine -light -Alcohol -moderate You are currently wearing- Cotton Crew Tee - okay Lamb Wool Sweater - singed Khaki Slacks - singed Wool Socks - okay Leather Loafers - singed Expensive Waterproof Rolex Possessions THE BEAR IS ATTEMPTING HOSTILE TAKEOVER OF YOUR ASSETS
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Aug 1, 2017 05:47
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Give the bear the pilot
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Aug 1, 2017 05:56
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Loel posted:Give the bear the pilot Which half? He already has the top half of the skeleton. You don't think a bear would want anything with charred bones. That delicious rack of ribs though.
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Aug 1, 2017 06:00
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Aug 1, 2017 06:04
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THE BEAR HAS THE COCAINE repeat THE BEAR HAS THE COCAINE THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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Aug 1, 2017 06:07
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"Stupid freeloading povertybear get the gently caress away from my yayo!"
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Aug 1, 2017 06:11
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sensually chainsaw the bear, channel Tormund, gently caress bear
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Aug 1, 2017 06:17
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Arkanomen posted:THE BEAR HAS THE COCAINE Unless the cocaine is both at the same edge of the woods as the bear and the sum total of our drugs, we can still take the drugs first. And if that IS the case, we can still take the drugs after.
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Aug 1, 2017 06:20
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dont be mean to me posted:Unless the cocaine is both at the same edge of the woods as the bear and the sum total of our drugs, we can still take the drugs first. The drugs are in your backpack, as well as most of your stuff, that is sitting at the campsite with the bear. You opened it to fix your pants and your planned activities for the immediate future didn't really need you carrying around 20lbs of stuff. The airplane isn't too far from the campsite. You could feasibly run back and grab your bag and try to rail a line before the beat has time to react. You aren't sure though. That bear looks hella slow though.
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Aug 1, 2017 06:34
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See, everything is fine.
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Aug 1, 2017 06:38
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We must channel our inner Judah.
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Aug 1, 2017 07:01
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Doesn't look like a grizzly. Scare it off with loud noises and aggression.
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Aug 1, 2017 08:53
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Oh gently caress Smokey's on to us! Climb a tree, then yell really loudly. Pelt it with large-ish bits of metal. We're gonna burn these woods to the ground you furry poo poo! 
There Bias Two fucked around with this message at 12:24 on Aug 1, 2017 |
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Aug 1, 2017 12:21
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NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY ASSESTS! Rev chainsaw, scream like lunatic, charge bear.
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Aug 1, 2017 13:56
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Blasphemaster posted:NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY ASSESTS! Rev chainsaw, scream like lunatic, charge bear. Basically this. But also arm ourselves with a long shaft of aluminum.
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Aug 1, 2017 16:57
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Okay so the prevailing sentiment is to tell the Bear to gently caress off. Some favor attacking the bear directly. 1.Do you want to gently caress up that bear A. YES I'M GONNA KILL THAT BEAR B. No, scare it off Choose your weapon. You can select two unless otherwise stated. A.Aluminum rod (one handed) short B.Knife (no handle, serrated, 6 inches) C.Manual Chainsaw (2 handed garrote, uses both hands) D.Manual Chainsaw (1 handed saw whip) E. One handed large rock F. Small rocks for throwing (4) G. Handful of bolts H. Clump of dirt I. Hand Axe J. Lump of copper also K. Sheet of aluminum (4x4 shield, thin) L. Femur of roasted pilot (heat damaged) M. Long stick (2 handed, sturdy) 3. Do you try to slam some snow before you engage the bear directly? A. Yeah B. gently caress YEAH THAT'S MY BLOW C. Nah, I better try to get rid of the bear before snorting some nose candy.
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Aug 1, 2017 17:33
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1. B 2. F 3. C We know how to handle ourselves in a bear market.
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Aug 1, 2017 17:44
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AKB Mame plenty of noise with the giant sheet of aluminum, should scare it off.
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Aug 1, 2017 17:51
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 22:17 |
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Aw man it isn't motorized? 
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Aug 1, 2017 18:34
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