ICSA 67: Red Menace 3-Bean Chili

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Falstaff: Apr 27, 2008; I have a kind of alacrity in sinking.

I run an every-other-week tabletop nerd game, and I like to cook meals for my group when I do, so after I saw this thread I figured I'd make some chili and record my efforts for the chili contest.

To me, a proper chili must have both beans and beef. Chilis, whether in pepper or spice form, are also a must - it's where the name comes from, after all.

Falstaff's Red Menace 3-Bean Chili

The main ingredients for this recipe:

-1 kg (2.2 pounds) of ground beef
-5 cups of dry beans (red kidney, pinto, and soldier), soaked in cold water overnight
-1 can of pasta sauce (tomato sauce is fine, too)
-2 jalapeno peppers, medium size
-6 large tomatoes (3 hothouse, 3 beefsteak)
-1 yellow pepper
-1 red pepper
-1 large red onion
-2 bunches of green onions/scallions
-4 cloves of garlic
-1 tablespoon of tabasco sauce
-1/3 cup of dark brown sugar

And the spices:

-2 tablespoons of cumin
-2 tablespoons of chili powder
-1 tablespoon of cayenne pepper
-2 teaspoons of salt
-Tex mex spices (for the beans, not pictured above)

I made this batch to feed six, with the understanding that some people would have seconds.

1. First off, the beans. A lot of recipes call for canned beans, but this is a mistake. Pound-for-pound, dry beans are cheaper than canned, and they taste much better. They just require a little forethought and planning. For this recipe, I put five cups of dry beans (a mix of red kidney, pinto, and soldier beans) into a large mixing bowl filled with cold water, and let them soak overnight.

2. Once they're soaked, coat the beans in 2/3 of a cup of olive oil, then sprinkle them with tex mex spices. Put them in a crock pot and bake them at 300 for 1-2 hours - you'll know they're done when they're tender to bite into. (If you don't have a crock pot, like me since my crock pot was on loan to a friend, you can do like I did and substitute with an oven-safe dish and some tinfoil. Just make sure the beans are covered when they go in.)

3. Take a moment to reflect on the fact that the history of all hitherto existing societies is the history of class struggles.

4. While the beans are baking, you can chop things up. Dice the tomatoes, red pepper and yellow pepper, and finely chop the jalapenos, onions, and garlic. Set aside some of the leafy parts of the green onions - you'll use them for garnish later.

Put the jalapenos and onions into a bowl in preparation for step 5.

5. Put the ground beef into a large skillet and cook over medium to medium-high. When about halfway browned, toss in the jalapenos and onions, and cook until the beef is fully browned. Drain.

6. While you're waiting for the beef to brown, why not do a little light reading?

7. When the beans are done and the beef is properly browned, put them into a large pot, then add the tomatoes, red and yellow peppers, garlic, and the following spices: Cumin, chili powder, cayenne pepper, and salt. Add four cups of water.

Here, I used two pots, because I was making a particularly large batch - I wanted to make sure I had enough chili for each of my gaming group, according to their needs.

8. It's worth noting that I didn't add the tabasco sauce that the recipe would normally call for. This is because two of my gaming group can't handle foods as spicy as I might prefer myself. If you're similar, you can probably skip the tabasco sauce and even reduce the cayenne pepper and just stick with the jalapenas (which will be plenty spicy for most folks.)

9. This next step is going to be controversial, I realize, but I like to add a third of a cup of dark brown sugar.

Sweeteners like this and honey trigger the pleasure centres in your brain, and I find the sweetness complements the spiciness nicely. Some might accuse me of engaging in the worst of bourgeouis decadence by doing this, but I reject such simplistic views. I refuse to cede sweeteners to the oppressor class - what is the revolution for, if not to put sugar on every worker's table?

10. Cook on medium to medium-high heat for ~1 hour, stirring regularly.

11. When finished, serve with a dollop of sour cream, grated cheddar, and crushed tortilla chips. Garnish with the leafy bits of the green onions you set aside earlier. A slice of garlic toast makes a nice complement.