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 How healthy are you? I can run about 4ish miles without stopping so I could probably kill a few hundred of these clowns, or about 2k geese/Units. If you give me a knife I can maybe double that before blood loss gets me. And no chimpanzee talk. I don't want to hear anything about an aware, healthy, human adult losing a loving fight to a chimp, its basically impossible.
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Oct 17, 2017 14:57
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Op your dum
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Oct 17, 2017 15:00
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Realistically about 4
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Oct 17, 2017 15:00
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Maaaybe two. Definitely one.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:01
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Realistically about 4 how would they kill you? Its doubtful you will have bled out that quick. grab one in each hand by the neck and squeeze. And that's the slow way. Quick way to basically be rolling around smash everything into the pavement and just stomping things out. They're too crowded to get out of the way.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:02
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Yeah I feel like 4 is kind of high balling it especially if they are well coordinated
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Oct 17, 2017 15:02
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BloodyScab posted:how would they kill you? Its doubtful you will have bled out that quick. grab one in each hand by the neck and squeeze. Idk about you but I literally have veins and arteries just underneath my supple skin and if they get cut I incure bleeding damage until death
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Oct 17, 2017 15:04
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BloodyScab posted:And no chimpanzee talk. I don't want to hear anything about an aware, healthy, human adult losing a loving fight to a chimp, its basically impossible. This is so wrong it makes me doubt you're qualified to post this thread.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:04
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Also my fighting skills are more geared towards primates my own size, their ability and ability to attack my vision could seriously take out any chance I have. Like if one spit or scratches at my eyes and I fell down immo much done for
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Oct 17, 2017 15:05
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BloodyScab posted:how would they kill you? Its doubtful you will have bled out that quick. grab one in each hand by the neck and squeeze. Look at how African wild dogs kill Cape buffalo. That's how.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:05
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Pick posted:Look at how African wild dogs kill Cape buffalo. That's how. Well yea they will win eventually they are infinite. I was more flabbergasted that he has so little confidence as a virile human male he could only do 4.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:08
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ubachung posted:This is so wrong it makes me doubt you're qualified to post this thread. Oh? How many fights have you lost to a chimp? I've never had to kill any (thankfully they are cute) but I certainly haven't lost one.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:09
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Chimpanzees are very powerful killing machines my dude
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Oct 17, 2017 15:09
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hosed-Up Little Dog posted:Chimpanzees are very powerful killing machines my dude In groups in the jungle against vermin or their own kind. Alone in a room they are small, fearful, and stupid.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:11
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How could you kill those cuties 
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Oct 17, 2017 15:11
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monkeys are pretty alright i’ll shoot a chimp in the face with no provocation though
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Oct 17, 2017 15:13
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If they’re tasty, all of them
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Oct 17, 2017 15:14
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i could kill 69 of them but not a single one more or less than that.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:22
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i came to this conclusion using various equations and algorithms that are proprietary and not available for the public to use.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:23
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All of them if you give a large enough research budget to have a special anti-simian weapon developed.
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Oct 17, 2017 15:30
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I believe these monkeys would gently caress me up
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Oct 17, 2017 15:44
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A whole tribe of them if they get any of my blood in their eyes or mouth
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Oct 17, 2017 16:01
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If I am allowed full riot gear probably infinite. If I'm naked maybe two.
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Oct 17, 2017 16:04
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Monkeys are incredibly creepy and I would stay away from them in the first place. If I was ambushed by monkeys I think I might be able to stomp two or three to death. If I am given time to prepare or have a sharp stick, there's no end to the monkeys I would murder in cold blood.
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Oct 17, 2017 16:17
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Can I bring the bumpstock?
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Oct 17, 2017 16:17
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Monkeys gave us aids so i would turn around and return the favor. How many monkeys i could seduce is another question entirely
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Oct 17, 2017 17:13
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Not even remotely enough to survive
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Oct 17, 2017 17:17
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Approximately 420
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Oct 17, 2017 17:18
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5. Just 5.
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Oct 17, 2017 17:20
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My conservative estimate is around twenty or so. If you give me Old Lucille, I might be able to get up to 30 and even come out with a nice monkey-brain smoothie for the referee.
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Oct 17, 2017 17:26
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A chimp would wreck your poo poo then eat your face OP.
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Oct 17, 2017 17:29
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Barehanded? Probably 4-5 depending how lucky I get before the bites and claws start taking fingers and eyes.
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Oct 17, 2017 17:30
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I think one good knee or about 3 elbows is enough to take one out. So say i lift my leg with full force 100 times in 5 minutes with a 10 minute cool off where i switch to my elbows which i'm able to swing 500 times in 10 minutes with 5 min cool off, and i can do this 3 times before exhaustion takes over... 100 x 3 = 300 + ((500 / 3) x 3) = 800 about 800 monkeys. given a baseball bat i my tally would be easily thrice that.
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Oct 17, 2017 17:34
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if im a great white shark and also the monkeys are in a shark tank i think a lot of monkeys
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Oct 17, 2017 17:38
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If I have prep time? Anti-monkey spray, gun, grenades, and machete for close combat. Plus a cyanide pill in my molar in case things go south and I'm out of grenades to take other monkeys down with me. Outfitted in the same gear they use to train police dogs. Hopefully I could take out at least 100 of the bastards. No prep time? I flail ineffectively and maybe get one or two before they bite off my face and dick and I bleed to death.
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Oct 17, 2017 18:01
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my previous record was 2 but there was only 2. i'm not allowed in delhi anymore though
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Oct 17, 2017 18:07
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My crack research team has come up with a fool proof weapon. Bananas but they are filled with knives.
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Oct 17, 2017 18:08
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Senior Management posted:My crack research team has come up with a fool proof weapon. Bananas but they are filled with knives. Imo researchers should not be using illicit substances to improve their work
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Oct 17, 2017 18:13
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Monkeys dont honor the way of bushido and would simply pull off your dick and balls
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Oct 17, 2017 18:24
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If you ask my wife, none of them could handle my farts/dumps!!
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Oct 17, 2017 18:28
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