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Putting kids in sports is suppose to teach them teamwork, self confidence, social skills, and how not to be a lard rear end. Kids are terrible at everything so putting them in sports is a bit of a crap-shoot. Let's talk about kids and how they suck at sports. My friend's nephew got enrolled in soccer. Rather than actually play the game, he bends his head down and wiggles his arms like a sperm and starts ramming into the other kids on the field.
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Dec 17, 2017 04:42
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:15 |
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Full disclosure: All sports are pointless. Childrens slightly less so. Now with that out of the way I can tell you I played under 9s soccer and our team scored one goal the entire season. It was kicked by a boy who was filling in for a sick player, he was only with us that one game. I'm getting angry just thinking about how much I hate sport. Teamwork: Pass the ball to a better player fast as possible so you won't make the team lose. Self Confidence: You are a physically inferior human being. Social Skills: Strangers will pick on you and call you names. How Not to Be A Lard rear end: Too lazy to prepare/eat enough food to get fat. Doubt that has anything to do with my year of sports playing. Manchild King fucked around with this message at 04:56 on Dec 17, 2017 |
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Dec 17, 2017 04:48
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One of my fondest childhood memories is one of my friends pitching a baseball right into the headlight of their mom's new car.
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Dec 17, 2017 04:59
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One of my least fond childhood memories was being surprised how hard the other team could kick the ball and how inadequate my pathetic weak kicks were while the coach screamed "KICK IT HARDER!".
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Dec 17, 2017 05:04
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Manchild King posted:One of my least fond childhood memories was being surprised how hard the other team could kick the ball and how inadequate my pathetic weak kicks were while the coach screamed "KICK IT HARDER!". Kids are just poo poo at sports. Parents love shoving kids into sports because they think it'd do the above or they want to live vicariously through their kids.
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Dec 17, 2017 05:11
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True kids are poo poo at sport. However some are exceptionally poo poo at sport even by kid standards. They pretty much have to humiliate themselves every single week so some other kids can feel good about themselves.Testikles posted:My friend's nephew got enrolled in soccer. Rather than actually play the game, he bends his head down and wiggles his arms like a sperm and starts ramming into the other kids on the field.
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Dec 17, 2017 05:22
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Manchild King posted:Social Skills: Strangers will pick on you and call you names. yes this is a hell of important lesson that millennials never learned and tumblr is the result
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Dec 17, 2017 06:15
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Playing t-ball as a kid made me realize team sports are garbage because one person can screw everything up for everyone.
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Dec 17, 2017 06:19
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I didn't do much sports, some, track, I was fast but not that fast, and shot put because no one else would (god I was bad, my whole goal was just to not scratch.) But what I DO remember was being loving terrorized by this gym teacher ? in grade school playing bombardment. Big guy, and he would just hurl that maroon ball as hard as he could at us; it would bounce off guys straight up to the ceiling. Even back then it seemed  Once in a while he'd nail one of us girls grouped in the back in the wrong place, she's crying and off to the health room and the game continues. I was pretty quick so I might not be hit, but I learned to not mind when I was because if I was last then kids are screaming at me to catch one and thats never gonna fuckin happen. rear end in a top hat.
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Dec 17, 2017 07:03
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Is Nelson Mandela already dead in the universe where they call dodgeball "bombardment "
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Dec 17, 2017 07:13
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Ein cooler Typ posted:Is Nelson Mandela already dead in the universe where they call dodgeball "bombardment " Oh gently caress. Funny.
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Dec 17, 2017 07:13
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Spinster posted:Oh gently caress. Funny. Im dyin here. My age just slips out lol
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Dec 17, 2017 07:14
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Testikles posted:My friend's nephew got enrolled in soccer. Rather than actually play the game, he bends his head down and wiggles his arms like a sperm and starts ramming into the other kids on the field. Your friend's nephew has invented a superior mode of soccer, and it will only be a matter of time before it catches on.
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Dec 17, 2017 11:44
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when I played kid soccer I was the goalie and one day after getting the ball i put it in front of me on the ground like a goal kick but actually the ball was still in play and some kid ran up and scored a goal on me that was the first goal ever scored against me and I was so angry that moment ruined my confidence and is responsible for all my psychological problems today
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Dec 17, 2017 12:11
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Contact soccer is the only fun way to play. My coach always encouraged me to do it tgat way and stop just short of doing something that gets you a red card and only get penalties outside of the box. The only time i got a red card was the time when it was actually an accident where I bashed my head into another guy's nose trying to jump for the ball.
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Dec 17, 2017 12:14
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be careful Worf accidentally killed a kid like that
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Dec 17, 2017 12:20
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yeah I eat rear end posted:penalties outside of the box. 
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Dec 17, 2017 12:29
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The box in front of your goal. You know, the one where if you get a penalty inside of you give the other team a penalty shot instead of a free kick.
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Dec 17, 2017 12:30
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a penalty is just that, from the spot inside the box. anything else isnt called a penalty, its just a foul. Unless this is some american term where you call any kind of infraction anywhere a penalty vvv i watched a fox stream of something once and heard the phrase 'blazing strike into the upper 90' Sports as a kid is great and the Venn diagram of sports haters and adult computer touchers is just a big circle kecske fucked around with this message at 12:42 on Dec 17, 2017 |
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Dec 17, 2017 12:39
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Americans also call the keeper the goalie
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Dec 17, 2017 12:39
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kecske posted:a penalty is just that, from the spot inside the box. anything else isnt called a penalty, its a foul. Unless this is some american term where you call any kind of infraction anywhere a penalty Who gives a gently caress you know what i meant
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Dec 17, 2017 12:41
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My first year of high school I weaseled out of doing any sports assessments for PE and then the next year they put me in boys PE instead. In boys PE all we played was ping pong, cricket and rounders. Then one time they took us out to play fives, a sport we never heard of before or since, but for some reason our school had purpose built fives courts that were never ever used. I have no idea how the sport works but it involves bouncing a ball off of a wall and that's as far as we got, because as soon as the teacher through it at the wall it bounced off and hit two kids in the groins and he had to take them both to the nurse and we went back inside to play ping pong unsupervised and we never played or spoke of fives again.
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Dec 17, 2017 13:12
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goldenninjawarrior posted:My first year of high school I weaseled out of doing any sports assessments for PE and then the next year they put me in boys PE instead. It sounds kind of like handball which is just a lame version of racketball. No idea why it would be called fives though.
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Dec 17, 2017 13:16
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The best sport is gladiatorial combat like they had back in Roman times. Our society is too unenlightened to enjoy bloodsport so we have to make due with hockey brawls.
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Dec 17, 2017 14:02
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I was on the recreation center basketball team from like 8 years old to 14. I wasn't very good, but I did have fun. Also, once, a bully hit me and 4 of the bigger/more athletic guys on my team beat the poo poo out of him. My kids do jiu-jitsu and enjoy that immensly.
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Dec 17, 2017 14:18
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yeah I eat rear end posted:It sounds kind of like handball which is just a lame version of racketball. No idea why it would be called fives though. you’re overthinking it. a hand has 5 digits. “a bunch of fives” is slang for a fist. that’s it, the speculated origin. It’s kind of lame and I would have used those courts to play squash We Know Catheters posted:Playing t-ball as a kid made me realize team sports are garbage because one person can screw everything up for everyone. this is also a good thing about it, even if you’re terrible a good play can turn things around. but yeah for the most part I disliked team sports for this. if you’re bad at baseball then it is extremely boring to play, on par with soccer which was just a lot of aimless running around. I remember being signed up for sports summer camp without my input as a kid and would gently caress off and not participate in soccer or baseball as some goony rear end child protest, but liked the smaller scale sports and weird stuff like archery. only team sport I remember being good at was volleyball (was stoked to win a tourney as a kid), and still generally prefer racket and net sports or stuff that can be done 1v1/2v2 or solo. think I might try curling in the new year for shits and giggles E, just remembered something about soccer. one time as a kid I went to kick the ball, but my shoes lost their grip so I slipped landing on my back. the ball came back down, hitting me right in the face and gave me a bloody nose. how embarrassing, got me out of pe for the day at least OldAlias fucked around with this message at 00:30 on Dec 18, 2017 |
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Dec 18, 2017 00:21
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Manchild King posted:Full disclosure: All sports are pointless. Childrens slightly less so. this is the funniest goddamn thing lol, you apparently suck even when you're not playing sports
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Dec 18, 2017 00:31
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I was terrible at soccer, terrible at basketball, and streaky and mediocre at baseball. So naturally my parents made me play baseball. I played through middle school before I got tired of listening to adults yell at children. I enjoy watching sports but I still laugh at coaches and fans that get angry at a game.
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Dec 18, 2017 01:31
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When I played soccer as a kid, the coaches in the league were just Dads in the neighborhood who volunteered to coach, and none of them had played soccer before. As a result, we didn't learn anything about how to play the game, we just chased a ball around a field for an hour. I'm sure if I learned something about basic soccer strategy I would have enjoyed it more, but it was just completely mindless, the only direction we had was "only the goalie can use their hands" and "kick the ball into the goal". I enjoyed baseball and tennis since there were coaches who knew what they were doing and you'd end up learning how to actually play the drat sport.
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Dec 18, 2017 02:02
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Dec 18, 2017 02:58
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Rec league soccer is a great place to watch an angry middle-aged guy yell inexplicable directions at husky teenage girls.
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Dec 18, 2017 03:00
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:15 |
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i played little league baseball and managed to go an entire season where i only hit the ball inbounds once. it was a grounder to the pitcher. after the game the coach gave me the game ball for it and that's when i learned what being patronized felt like.
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Dec 18, 2017 03:18
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