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what do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? at best, the sharp pain of remorse. at worst, a lawsuit from PETA ----- |
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Jun 5, 2018 20:03
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i'm holding melons
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Jun 6, 2018 17:22
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Dolly Parton bought up the Big M, Piggly Wiggly, and Harris Teeters grocery stores. She's going to change the name to 'Dolly's' most likely... |
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Jun 6, 2018 19:02
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Hugh Malone posted:Dolly Parton bought up the Big M, Piggly Wiggly, and Harris Teeters grocery stores. that or "I'm not ashamed of my breasts, nor should I be, but that's irrelevant to what this store is about, and maybe by just stating it up front we can move past the tediously obvious comments, although I'm not holding my breath: the store" |
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Jun 6, 2018 19:10
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lolol |
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Jun 6, 2018 19:20
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hello dad. |
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Jun 7, 2018 00:46
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Chong: my dog ate my stash, man. I had to follow him around with a baggie for a week Cheech: we're smoking dog poo poo, man? Chong: no man, the vet was concerned about my dog's stomach and requested a stool sample, man. Cheech: oh yeah, that's responsible of you, man. |
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Jun 16, 2018 20:11
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How many light bulbs does it take to light a room |
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Jun 17, 2018 02:29
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An Irishman and a Pole walk into a bar. They order drinks. The barman serves . . . them, and . . they pay Dammit!
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Jun 17, 2018 03:23
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Fredrik1 posted:How many light bulbs does it take to light a room |
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Jun 17, 2018 03:43
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The next day the travelling salesman tells the farmer he's not shoving any fruit up his rear end or getting a shotgun wedding or anything crazy like that because his ding dong had got shot off in the war so it didn't happen, he didn't sleep with her, his daughter just has a healthy sexual appetite and he should just get over it and let her get out more and date after a visit with Planned Parenthood for the proper education and birth control and the prevention for the spread of STDs. Then the salesman then figures out what was wrong with his car, starts it and then drives off. I don't think he sold anything to the farmer either, although he did pass a drunk guy on the side of the road with a handful of poo poo, which was presented to the passing salesman at the end of his outstretched arm as he yelled out, "HEY! LOOK WHAT I ALMOST STEPPED IN!" |
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Jun 17, 2018 03:59
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Splatmaster posted:let her get out more and date after a visit with Planned Parenthood for the proper education and birth control and the prevention for the spread of STDs. *hearty lol* ----- |
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Jun 20, 2018 16:42
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why did the chicken cross the road? as a concerned neighbor, i want to make sure i understand so that it doesn't happen again. chickens are not known for their intelligence and you, as a farmer, rely on them for your livelihood. if it's something in my yard, i would like to clean it up so to prevent your chickens from leaving their coop and crossing this busy road. please let me know if you find out... i don't want to be a pest, i just want to help out, buddy. ----- |
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Jun 20, 2018 16:45
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yo mama so stupid that i am encouraged to support any taxes that raise the quality of our public schools yo mama so fat that i'm giving you this pamphlet on the health risks of obesity, the number of a respectable dietician, and this phone number for a support group. it's a hard road and i genuinely hope this helps. yo mama so old that i'm impressed with how sharp she still is. her body may be aging but her mind is all there. that's great!! ----- |
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Jun 20, 2018 16:50
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If you no so funny, you can get humor boosters injected into your funnybone, but the International Joke Commission is currently split as to if it's a medically valid procedure or cheating through joke juicing.
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Jun 20, 2018 19:23
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I'm sitting at my desk, poring over complex diagrams and design documents. I put down my protractor and graphing calculator and rub my temples. "sigh..." Weeks of effort have yielded nothing but failure. I'm afraid I will never decipher the allure of this mysterious device. Longingly I pick up a picture of a clown and run my finger down the bulbous red aperture covering his nose. "Reveal your secrets to me..." |
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Jun 21, 2018 17:08
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Your Momma so Your momma so nice everyone hangs out at YOUR house and you have the coolest friends Your momma so svelte and in such great shape other kid's mommas seek her out for health & fitness tips, which is also why yo momma so nice and you also have so many friends Yo momma so good at raising kids you're one of the best people I've ever met and I'm glad I know you and you're my friend Yo momma so pretty I have to avert my gaze (because she's so nice, you're my friend, and my own mother wouldn't want to lose your momma as a friend because I looked at her inappropriately so in the end she makes me be a better person) Yo momma so smart she gets nominated for the Nobel out of habit (but since she's so humble she'd never accept it and is grateful for the nomination) Yo momma always gets the biggest piece of chicken https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 28, 2018 17:25
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what's black and white and read all over? i don't know. i have anomic aphasia as the result of a stroke and have forgotten many common words
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Jun 29, 2018 01:33
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how is a raven... like a writing desk? They are both abstract things given meaning to us out of a human drive to categorize and classify the world around us. Our symbolic language with its generalized nouns reinforces an illusory vantage point of objectivity that defines things as "like" or "unlike" one another. Shared socialization allows us to communicate based on the symbol of the thing as opposed to the thing itself, but only to a certain degree. The truth is that what you call a "writing desk," I might call an "end table" and our experiences with "ravens" will vary based on the individual animals we have interacted with. According to Derrida...
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Jun 29, 2018 02:03
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Duckbox posted:how is a raven... like a writing desk? they both have inky quills. |
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Jun 29, 2018 02:12
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that's so writing desk |
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Jun 29, 2018 02:25
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Duckbox posted:how is a raven... like a writing desk? Poe wrote on one |
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Jun 29, 2018 03:10
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Me dipping a raven by the beak into an inkwell to pen my latest novel on my brand new writing desk |
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Jun 29, 2018 05:08
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Me dipping a raven by the beak into an inkwell to pen my latest novel on my brand new writing desk Is it writing raven season again? *trades lightbulbs for ink* I have feet. |
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Jun 29, 2018 05:46
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 06:13 |
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funny I’ve forgotten how to be not really in the spirit of the thread, I just wanted to turn a phrase lol Starman Super DX fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Jul 1, 2018
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Jul 1, 2018 14:39
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