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"Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win." - Gary Lineker “International football is the continuation of war by other means.” - George Orwell, after Carl von Clausewitz "There is only one possibility: win, lose, or draw." - Franz Beckenbauer "Hitler." - Pissflaps "   " - ephex  Powered by the luxurious and powerful partner Mercedes-Benz, the German national team comes to Russia as your  REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD.  Four years after their triumph in Brazil, the Mannschaft has seen quite a bit of change, starting with the retirements of Schweini, Poldi, Lahmi and others, the influx of younger players and the resurgence of one Mario Gomez. In the end, only nine players remain from the 2014 squad and one of them is Matthias Ginter. Most notably, the scorer of the deciding (and only) goal of the 2014 final is missing: Mario "You're better than Messi" Götze. This comes shortly after his greatest achievement has been enshrined in the German Football Museum. Also missing are Bayern's forward Sandro Wagner, who reacted to not being called up for the preliminary squad by retiring from the national team and City's Leroy Sané. The latter being cut from the preliminary squad has been cause for quite some criticism and people start wondering (once again) if manager and noted booger-eater Joachim Löw is so high on the smell of his taint that he's finally lost the plot.    It's not like the 23 nominated for the tournament are terrible, though. This is a squad of talented players and should do well. Most bookies have them at 9/2 or 5, just behind or equal to Brazil and ahead of Spain and France. Let's not forget Germany won their qualifying group in dominating fashion (albeit against weak competition) and Group F with Mexico, Sweden and the Republic of Korea looks more like three games to find your footing rather than a fight to advance.   2014 world champions in bold Goalkeepers: #1 Manuel Neuer (32, Bayern München), #12 Kevin Trapp (27, Paris Saint-Germain), #22 Marc-André ter Stegen (26, Barcelona) As you'd expect from Germany, this is an excellent selection. The only question mark here is how good Neuer's form is after missing seven months with a broken foot. Löw said that he'd only bring him if he's fit to play as first choice and he did, but Löw's a taint-smelling booger-eater. Defenders: #2 Marvin Plattenhardt (26, Hertha BSC Berlin), #3 Jonas Hector (28, 1. FC Köln), #4 Matthias Ginter (24, Borussia Mönchengladbach), #5 Mats Hummels (29, Bayern München), #15 Niklas Süle (22, Bayern München), #16 Antonio Rüdiger (25, Chelsea), #17 Jérôme Boateng (29, Bayern München), #18 Joshua Kimmich (23, Bayern München) Likely to be anchored around the tried and proven partnership of Hummels and Boateng, but not quite as excellent at full/wingback. Midfielders: #6 Sami Khedira (31, Juventus), #7 Julian Draxler (24, Paris Saint-Germain), #8 Toni Kroos (28, Real Madrid), #10 Mesut Özil (29, Arsenal), #13 Thomas Müller (28, Bayern München), #14 Leon Goretzka (23, Schalke 04), #19 Sebastian Rudy (28, Bayern München), #20 Julian Brandt (22, Leverkusen), #21 İlkay Gündoğan (27, Manchester City) A wealth of riches, at least offensively. Happy for Gündoğan who missed 2014 due to injury to be included. Certainly the midfield spots will always be competitive and whatever the lineup looks like, there's enough fodder for discussion whether taint-smelling booger-eater Joachim Löw made the right calls. Forwards: #9 Timo Werner (22, RB Leipzig), #11 Marco Reus (29, Borussia Dortmund), #23 Mario Gomez (32, Stuttgart) If there's a weak position in the squad it's the central forward position. Has been for a while, honestly. Sure, Gomez has seen a resurgence since returning to Stuttgart and Werner certainly has talent, but neither are names that make you smack your lips. Reus is included here because FIFA lists him as a forward, but his main competition on the left wing is Draxler.  So there you have it, Germany 2018. One of the favorites to win it all, but nobody has won back-to-back tournaments in over 50 years (Italy 1934/38 and Brazil 1958/62 did it, btw). I forsee a lot of grousing from us Germans over selection while we coast through the group stage and then get then we all get on the hype train to the semis and from there, everything is possible, including actually winning this thing and being smug(ger than usual) about it. 
frankenfreak fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Jun 13, 2018 |
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Jun 5, 2018 16:21
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:44 |
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Adolf Hitler
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Jun 5, 2018 16:23
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We're not around to beat you (Zaza penalty dance notwithstanding) so you'll win. Enjoy.
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Jun 5, 2018 16:24
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frankenfreak posted:"Hitler." - Pissflaps
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Jun 5, 2018 16:25
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I just realized that I forgot to work this into the post re: Sané not being included in the squad https://twitter.com/BBCMOTD/status/...3D17%23lastpost
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Jun 5, 2018 16:30
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Ginter plays for Mönchengladbach. Apart from that, great OP, OP!
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Jun 5, 2018 16:45
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Torrannor posted:Ginter plays for Mönchengladbach.  Thanks. Already fixed the post.
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Jun 5, 2018 16:49
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Wasn't there a funny Mario Gomez website? I can't remember it.
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Jun 5, 2018 16:50
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Gomez button!!!
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Jun 5, 2018 16:50
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frankenfreak posted:Powered by the luxurious and powerful partner Mercedes-Benz, the German national team comes to Russia as your Thats Portugal.
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Jun 5, 2018 17:43
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Mean Bean Machine posted:Thats Portugal. 
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Jun 5, 2018 18:00
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Hell of an OP
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Jun 5, 2018 18:14
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antidote posted:Gomez button!!! thanks op http://www.tomnash.eu/gomez-button.html Apparently there's an app now as well. Maybe I'll get it, I'm a big fan of his.
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Jun 5, 2018 18:18
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great OP, OP.frankenfreak posted:but Löw's a taint-smelling booger-eater. not emptyquoting
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Jun 5, 2018 18:21
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i live in berlin, but i will never cheer for the german team. they are the absolute worst.
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Jun 5, 2018 19:06
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oliwan posted:i live in berlin, but i will never cheer for the german team. they are the absolute worst. The Swiss National Team thread is this way --> https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3859075
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Jun 5, 2018 19:19
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oliwan posted:i live in berlin, but i will never cheer for the german team. they are the absolute worst. Hell, agreed
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Jun 5, 2018 19:30
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 still weltmeister nice op, op
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Jun 5, 2018 19:45
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frankenfreak posted:Hitler
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Jun 5, 2018 19:46
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ephex posted:
I'm friggin excited.
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Jun 5, 2018 20:11
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As a proud German every major football tournament I look forward to back to back world cup wins
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Jun 5, 2018 22:21
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I'm ready to press the Gomez button, ops
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Jun 5, 2018 22:47
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Jun 6, 2018 00:10
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Literally almost zero heritage from Germany but my dad cheered for them for years and I always picked them in a World Cup 94 SNES game (Champions World Class Soccer) so I've adopted them as my #1 Best Football Team
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Jun 6, 2018 17:01
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Omnikin posted:Literally almost zero heritage from Germany but my dad cheered for them for years and I always picked them in a World Cup 94 SNES game (Champions World Class Soccer) so I've adopted them as my #1 Best Football Team This is the most American post I have ever seen
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Jun 6, 2018 18:46
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oliwan posted:This is the most American post I have ever seen Wrong, he acknowledged that he had no heritage instead of claiming that his maternal great grandmother was definitely German or some poo poo.
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Jun 6, 2018 19:25
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Omnikin posted:Literally almost zero heritage from Germany but my dad cheered for them for years and I always picked them in a World Cup 94 SNES game (Champions World Class Soccer) so I've adopted them as my #1 Best Football Team Eh, not a bad reason really.
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Jun 6, 2018 19:27
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For real, those black kits in the WC Final always got eight year old me hyped
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Jun 6, 2018 19:31
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You know who else had cool black uniforms
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Jun 6, 2018 19:33
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Smirr posted:You know who else had cool black uniforms 
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Jun 6, 2018 19:44
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pik_d posted:Wrong, he acknowledged that he had no heritage instead of claiming that his maternal great grandmother was definitely German or some poo poo. not only did he mention 'heritage', he also said that he has 'almost zero heritage'.
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Jun 6, 2018 20:27
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hitler was austrian but he was also german
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Jun 6, 2018 20:35
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Hey as long as someone is consistent, it's all good. Just make sure you take the 2000s with the 2014s. 
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Jun 6, 2018 21:44
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Verpisst euch ihr Plastikaffen
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Jun 7, 2018 16:41
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Katana Gomai posted:Verpisst euch ihr Plastikaffen Netter Schmelzrunter also 
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Jun 8, 2018 00:07
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rear end cobra posted:hitler was austrian but he was also german Oliwan is Swiss but pretends to be Dutch and lives in Germany. He's worse than an American.
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Jun 8, 2018 00:24
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Shrapnig posted:Oliwan is Swiss but pretends to be Dutch and lives in Germany. He's worse than an American. hello
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Jun 8, 2018 12:08
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Friendly vs Saudi Arabia just started Neuer – Kimmich, Boateng, Hummels, Hector – Kroos, Khedira – Müller, Reus, Draxler – Werner
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Jun 8, 2018 18:35
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Nice goal! Bitte nicht Reus kaputt machen 
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Jun 8, 2018 18:43
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:44 |
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This game is boring as gently caress
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Jun 8, 2018 19:52
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