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Bonus Round - 30-50 feral hogs vs. M2 Browning A very special girl asked me to do 30-50 feral hogs vs fiftycal. Setup Setup is as usual: Prone (+6), Braced (+1), on a Tripod (+5), with automatic fire against feral hogs (+11) from a GCSL 2 shooter (+7) and a moving target (-5/-6/-8/-10). Additionally, the shooter will consider whether Blind Fire is appropriate, which switches the +11 for size to hit for a +15 (for 32 before range), and ignores the speed penalty and aim time limitation, but limits the individual bullet hit-chance to 13%. I suspect Blind Fire will benefit John Razorback greatly! Phase 1 Closest Hog: 108 hexes Hogs Remaining: 38 John "The Baconator" Razorback strains under the weight of the heavy machine gun when he sees them: 30-50 feral hogs in the bushes, soulless amber eyes peeking out from the undergrowth. They let loose a horrible grunt as they charge from the treeline, and John goes prone (2 actions), adopts a firing position with his Browning (1 action), braces the tripod against the ground (1 action), and racks the bolt (2 actions). Through the sights he can see the stampede of feral hogs, ready to descend on him and his children in a frenzied lust for human flesh. Phase 2 Closest Hog: 99 hexes Hogs Remaining: 38 John draws a line in the brush and prepares to lay down a fire lane (6 actions). Phase 3 Closest Hog: 90 hexes Hogs Remaining: 38 The war oinks grow louder as John Razorback adjusts his aim (6 actions). Phase 4 Closest Hog: 81 hexes Hogs Remaining: 38 John finalizes his aim and opens up (2 actions), effortlessly sending bullets into his target area. Two bullets slam into a hog, tearing chunks out of its lower foreleg and back (250 damage). Undeterred, it continues its assault, hobbling forward on its three good legs. Keeping the burst on, John guts a hog two ranks behind the first with two hits (20000 damage). Frayed intestines fly in all directions, tangling around the carcass as it rolls forward. Then the first hog explodes, its head liquified by 1000000 damage. John watches as the two hogs drop, one with a missing head (1000000 damage) and the other heartbroken (1000000 damage). He walks the burst left, but the bullets fall between their loose ranks. code:Closest Hog: 72 hexes Hogs Remaining: 34 John keeps the burst on the hogs and is rewarded with double hits to a sow throat, leaving it with the head half-dangling, then snapping off as the hog stumbles forward unconscious (6000 damage). Fearlessly, the hogs continue to charge forward, their porcine bravery rewarded by another few yards as bullets miss them again and again. Then John's heavy fire guts a hog, but it continues to rush forward, trailing its intestines after it (10000 damage). One falls from a traumatic hepatoctomy (100000 damage), and so does the one behind it. Seven dead hogs in four seconds. "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals." The 'Q' denotes a Heroic Hog, which has been hardened by the cauldron of battle. code:Closest Hog: 63 hexes Hogs Remaining: 31 John fails an 87% chance to hit with a roll of 95, the ferocious rattling of heavy machinery egging the barrel higher and higher. He braces his elbows against the dirt and drops the burst low again, pouring lead into the hog masses, with a roll of 25 against 78. Two bullets slam into the neck muscles of a hog (200 damage), and it veers off, disoriented. John Razorback pauses, giving the barrel a few moments to cool as he readjusts his aim and lets his strong hands rest from the beating they've taken. (3 actions) code:Closest Hog: 54 hexes Hogs Remaining: 30 The remaining hogs rush forward, the hellish oinks almost as loud as machine gun fire. Phase 8 Closest Hog: 45 hexes Hogs Remaining: 30 John makes final adjustments to his aim (3 actions), then lets rip again with a roaring burst. John aimed too low, and the burst slams into the ground short of the feral hogs, but the recoil pushes John's fire higher and higher and a bullet as thick as a thumb slams into a hog the rear lines, cutting it on two as the bullet severs the spine (100000). Next to it, the third and fourth-rank hogs are hit by low bullets, amputating legs left and right to no effect (200 damage). The frenzied hogs push the attack. 'W' denotes a wounded but not incapacitated hog. code:Closest Hog: 36 hexes Hogs Remaining: 29 Led on by the heroic hog in the front lines, the less-than-30 feral hogs continue their mad onslaught. John swings the machine gun left, hoping to catch the full columns in defilade fire. The burst becomes too spread out, and the bullets only scatter undergrowth. Then, focusing the fire on the ground just in front of the hogs, John Razorback keeps the butterfly trigger depressed. A hit in the first ranks, then one in the second, then one in the third. A fresh column of hogs get a taste of machine gun fire - severing a foreleg (100 damage), rupturing a brain (1000000 damage), cutting into back musculature (200 damage). The shovel-grips shake in John's hands as he keeps the fire steady. Bullets spit from the muzzle every tenth of a second, and four of them find their mark. A glancing hit to the torso (100 damage) fails to drop one hog, while a severed spine drops another (100000). Two shots leave skid marks of flattened grass covered in hog entrails and partially digested human flesh as stomachs are cut open by machine gun fire (100000 damage). The beast in his hands wrestles with him (99% hit chance), but John is the stronger man (34) and keeps the muzzle level. Hot lead lances out and strikes a hog twice, leaving a gaping hole where its lung used to be and a chunk of its hingleg missing (40600 damage) as its snout slams into the ground and its tusks rip up the undergrowth. Another hog slumps over as its rear leg slips away from under it, the bone visible for a moment before a shower of blood stains the topsoil (600 damage). code:Closest Hog: 27 hexes Hogs Remaining: 23 John Razorback feels the Browning turn easily in his hands as he walks the burst onto a new concentration of hogs. A pile of spent casings and links lie next to him. He has just a quarter of a belt left. Make it count! 60 under 99, 18 under 98, 23 under 93, 32 under 87, his field of fire is spot on. In the third rank a rear trotter is shot off (200 damage) and in the fifth a hog gets a nasty cut down its back from a glancing shot (200 damage). He stops walking the burst on two columns of hogs. Bullets lance out, two finding their mark: One bullet severs a lower leg (60 damage), another hits a hog in the shoulder, slicing its back open right next to an existing wound (200 damage), the cumulative shock making it trip on its own legs and tumble into unconsciousness. Then he narrows his field of fire and rakes two hogs, one bullet cavitating furiously through hog guts (10000 damage), the other glancing off a shoulder (200 damage). John widens his arc of fire again, hoping to take as many porcine motherfuckers down with him as he can: two fall from 100000 damage each of hollowed-out stomach. Half the feral hogs are dead, and John "The Baconator" Razorback still has five rounds left in ma deuce. code:Closest Hog: 18 hexes Hogs Remaining: 19 The smell of hogs is sickening and John's tongue feels greasy with their unholy miasma. It's a 96% chance to hit with his last burst. It's nearly impossible to miss, even as he walks the burst onto the last column of feral hogs. 96%, and a roll of 62 does it. One of the advancing sows takes two the body, one exploding in its liver (100100 damage). Then the heavy machine gun spits the last casing and belt link with an ominous click. John "The Baconator" Razorback draws his Type 51 Hog-Hunter, combining the reliable mechanics of John Moses Browning's M1911 with a Soviet .30 calibre rounds perfect for piercing the thick, armoured hide of feral hogs (2 actions), rolls into a firing position (1 action), and takes aim at the heroic hog (1 action), which has dragged its guts all the way to John. John Razorback knows a worthy foe when he sees one. code:Closest Hog: 9 hexes Hogs Remaining: 18 John squeezes the trigger as fast as he can, with a 40% chance of hitting a hog. 95, 10, a .30 calibre round spitting from the muzzle while the slide kicks back, and hitting the hog in its exposed and open belly, where intestines already trail out. A Penetration of 2.7, reduced by thick hide to 1.7, and a damage class of 3 down to 2 from 600 lbs of hog mass. 47 damage as the intestinal lining is pierced. The hog is gut-shot, but continues leaping towards John Razorback, its fell maw open to reveal omnivorous teeth. 21 - another shot, another hit, to the thigh, 12 damage, still not enough to drop it. Blam! Blam! 99, 2, a long pistol bullet pierces the hog and lodges in the heart for 9000 damage, dropping it like a sack of porkchops. He braces for impact (1 action)... code:Closest Hog: EXTREME HOG PROXIMITY Hogs Remaining: 17 ..and manages to hold off a hog as it swipes by him. 85, 34, John fires twice from a low stance (2 actions), aimed at the head, hitting the hog in the neck for a measly 5 damage. His Type 51 Hog-Hunter is empty, so he drops it and draws a knife (2 actions), sinking it deeply into the hog's jaw for 20 damage. code:Closest Hog: EXTREME HOG PROXIMITY Hogs Remaining: 17 John dodges as five more hogs charge him, but four snouts slam into him from all sides, bruising his chest for 6 damage. A horrible crunching sound erupts as the hog he shot bites down on his left thigh for 31.2 damage. code:Closest Hog: EXTREME HOG PROXIMITY Hogs Remaining: 17 John stabs upwards, hacking at the hog's jaws before stabbing it in the kidney, the short knife totalling another 5 damage. "Die! Die you motherfucking hog!" It grunts and snorts as it wrestles with him, sticking its snout into his guts and chewing for another 31.2 damage. The pain sends his head spinning and he's unable to fight back as the feral hogs feast on his hard-won body. LatwPIAT fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Aug 9, 2019 |
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Aug 9, 2019 21:32
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But the kids? What happens to the kids Give the kids guns?
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Aug 9, 2019 21:44
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Oh yeah, those are the damage numbers I'm here for. We've seen that a large number of explosions are effective, but mere bullet dakka seems less so. Are there any other fun options in-between?
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Aug 9, 2019 21:53
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LatwPIAT posted:A very special girl asked me to do 30-50 feral hogs vs fiftycal. I would like to say this is the weirdest flirt I've ever seen. I would like to.
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Aug 9, 2019 22:12
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.30-.50 caliber.
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Aug 9, 2019 23:44
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megane posted:30-50 MM caliber. Fixed that for you. Unless... Are there rules for 16''/50 caliber guns?
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Aug 9, 2019 23:55
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Sjs00 posted:But the kids? What happens to the kids I've gotta agree, giving the kids guns will solve the hog problem once and for all.
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Aug 10, 2019 00:01
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NewMars posted:I've gotta agree, giving the kids guns will solve the hog problem once and for all. Because after the kids will shoot each other by playing with the guns/by accident, you don't have to worry about the boars?
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Aug 10, 2019 00:08
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Gun Jam posted:Fixed that for you.
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Aug 10, 2019 00:15
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how about giving the hogs some cover
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Aug 10, 2019 00:21
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I think it's flamethrower time.
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Aug 10, 2019 00:58
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Bazookas!
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Aug 10, 2019 01:00
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Build A Wall and Make AR-15 Great Again. If this game has landmines, burning tires, barbed wire, pungee sticks, etc. we need some fortifications to our make our castle doctrine tough enough for the AR-15 to do its job before Extreme Hog Proximity makes this yard unsafe for children and firearms.
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Aug 10, 2019 02:17
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LatwPIAT posted:Bonus Round - 30-50 feral hogs vs. M2 Browning Consider me seduced.
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Aug 10, 2019 12:07
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How about a 3-5 men fireteam? They can be wild or tamed.
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Aug 10, 2019 14:46
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We need a 6.8 SPC AR variant. The kids probably have 10/22s
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Aug 10, 2019 18:31
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how about a MG42 for fighting of the bolshevic hog horde?
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Aug 10, 2019 18:51
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what about a minefield? construction of a minefield is probably a good use of one's children great pulp action writing, by the way, you've got a solid grounding in the classics I can see edit: dual wielded miniguns, maybe?
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Aug 10, 2019 19:01
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How would the Mk 19 fare if the hogs were instead trained in elementary battle tactics? (Possibly by antifa agitators) also https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/riviere-the-miracle-of-the-gaderene-swine-n01515 Fangz fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Aug 10, 2019 |
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Aug 10, 2019 19:08
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oystertoadfish posted:great pulp action writing, by the way, you've got a solid grounding in the classics I can see  Kodos666 posted:how about a MG42 for fighting of the bolshevic hog horde? That'd be crass and uncomfortable. SG-43 Goryunov vs. fascist pigs, however...
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Aug 10, 2019 19:13
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Bonus Round: 12 Angry Men vs. 30-50 Feral Hogs
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Aug 10, 2019 19:16
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How about the Hells Angels vs 30-50 Feral Hogs? Which is the superior Hog?
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Aug 10, 2019 19:19
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nine-gear crow posted:Bonus Round: 12 Hungry Men vs. 30-50 Feral Hogs fixed.
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Aug 10, 2019 19:28
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It would be interesting to see how many unarmed men it would take to kill 30-50 feral hogs in this system.
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Aug 10, 2019 21:10
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chitoryu12 posted:It would be interesting to see how many unarmed men it would take to kill 30-50 feral hogs in this system. Depands. Does this system have rules for calculating damage from "how fast did you throw it, and how much does it weight"? Because if it does, then : just one.
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Aug 10, 2019 21:36
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What bacon loving texan doesn’t have layered fencing with barbed wire and pungee stakes in drainage ditches
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Aug 11, 2019 07:21
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What happens if we give John Razorback the full 3-5 minutes before the hogs finish devouring his children and come for him? Is that long enough for the AR-15 to do its job?
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Aug 11, 2019 07:42
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If one ma deuce isn't enough, maybe we should give John Razorback a husband to ma deuce with. Or maybe to crew a mortar, that'd help.
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Aug 11, 2019 10:10
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Mortars are good for kids. Helps build teamwork and maths skills.
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Aug 11, 2019 10:13
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Dance Officer posted:If one ma deuce *googles* M2. Okay. To be honest, I thought it was a mockery of "my second amendment", a la freeze peache or buttery males.
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Aug 11, 2019 10:16
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If it isn't, it should be
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Aug 11, 2019 14:56
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megane posted:.30-.50 caliber. 30 - 50 wild hogs vs 30mm - .50 cal gunfire. Also you should let an M1 or M3 loose against the hogs, I don't really care which Nalesh fucked around with this message at 13:46 on Aug 12, 2019 |
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Aug 12, 2019 13:42
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Can this system handle emus?
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Aug 12, 2019 19:03
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Have you ever wondered why John Razorback is called "The Baconator"? Setup John (SAL 7) will be prone (+6) and aiming for the running (-8 at 21-30 hexes, -10 at 1-20 hexes) hogs (+11), for a total EAL of 14-16 before aim time and range modifiers. Phase 1 Closest Hog: 45 hexes Hogs Remaining: 38 Lighting a cigarette, John "The Baconator" Razorback looks at the 30-50 feral hogs trampling towards him in a feeding frenzy. He crouches down to a laying position (3 actions) and steadies his trusty M9 flamthrower in the nook of his elbow and stands with his feet solidly in the ground (1 action), wide apart like Clint Eastwood. Today's going to be smokin'. He steadies the wand and keeps the safety firmly depressed as he waits for the hogs to come into range (2 actions). code:Closest Hog: 36 hexes Hogs Remaining: 38 John Razorback finalizes his aim (3 actions), then waits for the hogs to come into range (2 actions) before lighting up on one of them (1 action). At EAL 19 (-6 for aim time, +9 for range), he has a 78% chance to hit the hog he's lining up on. A roll of 56 is enough: thickened gasoline erupts from John's wand, covering a hog and sticking to its thick fur (12000 damage). There's a horrible squeal as the feral hog keels over and dies. The stream of gasoline runs off its carcass and into the hex and the one behind it, causing 870 damage to a line of hogs as they rush through the flames, unable to orient themselves to their new, burning environment. The flesh crackles and the smell of burnt hair fills the air as three more hogs die. "Cooking with gas!", John yells. code:Closest Hog: 27 hexes Hogs Remaining: 34 Emboldened by the success, John takes aim again (4 actions) and fires (1 action) at the ground in front of half the hog wave, planning covering four hexes wide and two deep in a thick layer of sticky fuel. Between the big hexes and the increasing proximity of the hogs, John's EAL goes up to 21, for an 87% chance to hit the hexes. A roll of 05, and eight new hexes stand ablaze as two lines of hogs rush into them. In the first line, two hogs die on the spot while another two run around in a dizzy panic, trying to escape the flames that stick to their trotters. John keeps the flames on (1 action), taking -12 to EAL for sustained fire from trying to control the recoil of heavy fuel jetting from his wand. A roll under 32% is a gamble, and with 89 the immense force pushes the stream of flames into the air, landing on the fire side of the hogs to no effect. However, the rear line of hogs, trapped in a hellish inferno, scream out in death-oinks as they try to run out of the flames, one falling over to be roast in the napalm. Another line, unable to chance course in time, get caught in the flames and grunt horrifyingly, dying as they try to escape the flames "Become bacon in hell!" John yells, sure in some buried corner of his mind that he's already used that quip, as if he'd been brought back from the dead to kill hogs again and again, and was running out of porcine-related one-liners. code:Closest Hog: 20 hexes Hogs Remaining: 22 With his last attempt unsuccessful, John Razorback shuts off the valve to the flamethrower and readjusts his aim (4 actions), then opens up on the other side of the two feral hog concentrations, before opening the valve to "maximum barbecue" with a disciplined trigger-pull. The hogs are now so close he can see the evil in their bulbous, amber eyes, and the chance to hit the hex in front of them is 83%. A roll of 36, and the Baconator splashes the thickened fuel across five hexes. Three hogs perish instantly, and another six desperately attempt to stop themselves before the run into the flames but their trotters do little except to rip up undergrowth and add fuel to the flames as the slide and trip into the carpet of burning fuel, where they're roast alive, one running away still covered in napalm. With the smell of victory in his nostrils, John clamps the want firmly in his strong hands and guides it as more fuel spurts out from the nozzle. A 28% chance to hit this time - he rolls 56 - and his white-hot fuel lands one hex short, where a line of five hogs rush into it and practically melt from the heat. The smell of bacon is strong this evening. code:code:Closest Hog: 11 hexes Hogs Remaining: 8 It's now or never! He has two ignition cartridges left, and three columns to hit... He aims and fires (3 impulses), spraying his fuel across a wide front to hit the two lines of hogs closest together. An EAL of 25 all but guarantees success, at 98%, and a 62 seals the deal, killing two hogs instantly and one more as it runs frenzied into the flames before it realizes what is happening He keeps the stream on (1 action), for a 48% chance to keep on target. Can he do it? A roll of 43 says yes, and three more hogs are caught in the flames, one fried instantly and two covered in burning fuel oinking and grunting in terror and pain as they run wildly about. John "The Baconator" Razorback aims (2 actions)... code:Closest Hog: 2 hexes Hogs Remaining: 2 ...and fires at the two charging feral hogs (2 actions), the flash of heat almost searing his eyeballs off as the hogs are caught in an inferno. One makes one last squeal as it slumps to the ground at John Razorback's feet, nothing more than a mass of burning hair and melting fat. The other charges past him, still on fire. It's gone before John has time to draw his Type 51 Hog-Hunter and pick it off. He lights another cigarette on the burning carcass of the hog in front of him and inhales the sharp, arcid smell of burning gasoline. Another day of defending his kids from 30-50 feral hogs within 3-5 minutes over with. All in a day's work.
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Aug 12, 2019 21:32
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Now that's how you handle the hogs. 
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Aug 12, 2019 22:17
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Barbecue, anyone? Now, how can 30-50 John "The Baconator" Razorbacks with knives handle one boar?
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Aug 12, 2019 22:37
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Aug 12, 2019 22:49
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Aug 12, 2019 23:12
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Aug 12, 2019 23:56
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 23:00 |
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How many peasants with matchlocks does John "Baconator" Razorback need to take out 30 - 50 feral gods?
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Aug 12, 2019 23:58
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